"Be on Time" Chronicles - writing about transportation

A state agency asked me to write something about how my transportation affects me.
This was my response:

"Simply put, transportation makes my life way more difficult that it needs to be.

It limits me.

It isolates me.

It frustrated me.

It exhausts me.

Going anywhere takes so much organization, planning, and sometimes it’s just too complicated to deal with.

A single event can literally take me hours to get to and get home from.

A few examples:

            My six-hour work day translates to an eight / nine-hour day because of my transportation.

            A forty-five-minute author talk / signing at a bookstore across town turned into a five-hour adventure because of transportation. There were no accidents to make us late. No weather-related problems. No vehicle malfunctions. It was simply a matter of the para-transit shared ride system.

            A trip to a grocery store one mile from my apartment, an activity that should have taken less than an hour, lasted three hours instead.

But I know I am lucky.

At least I have access to transportation.

My daily trips can be arduous, but at least I can get to and from work, the grocery store, doctor appointments, and some social activities.

My transportation can be stressful, yet I am grateful that it is safe, predominantly reliable, and affordable for me.

I know my situation could be worse.

I am not confined to my home due to a lack of transportation.

Some people with disabilities are blocked from being productive members of society simply because they don’t have accessible transportation.

They cannot work outside the home.

They are unable to get to medical appointments.

They are prevented from having social lives and engaging in community events.

Para-transit services, accessible ride shares, accessible bus systems, and especially partnerships among these modes of transportation are paving the way to independence and inclusion in society for many people with disabilities who cannot operate a vehicle.

But we need to do even more.  

Transportation that is accessible, safe, reliable, and affordable must be a right, not a privilege."

librarianintx

"Be on Time" Chronicles 1/31/19

Getting ready for work can be a year-round hassle, but the winter months make the mornings even more stressful, for a few reasons:

1) I get a respiratory illness with pain in my back and chest if I get chilled after a shower. So I have to make sure I am dry and have been dressed for at least 10-15 minutes before I leave the bathroom.

2) My zip up sweaters and sweatshirts are so cozy and I wear them every day in the winter. Unfortunately, some of them are difficult to zip, and I'm anal about having them zipped. I don't ever wear them unzipped. Some of them take multiple tries to zip, which I don't have time for on work mornings.

3) My winter coat is heavy and bulky and a bitch to pull on. I have to reach up to get the hoodie part of my sweater / sweatshirt out of the way of the hood of the coat, which is super difficult for me. because I have limited range of movement. Then I have to get the coat buttoned without my work badge or my hair getting caught.

4) My lightweight coat has a zipper from hell. It works when it wants to. If I don't zip it, the damn garment falls off my shoulders, and I'm walking to the vehicle with the coat sliding off my body, which of course defeats the purpose of wearing a coat in the first place.

So I breathe a sigh of relief every winter morning when my sweater / sweatshirt is zipped and my coat is on.
I feel like half the battle has been won.
But then I start worrying about being able to carry my lunch bag, purse, and any other bag I have while being weighed down with a coat.
And I further obsess about being able to see when my vehicle arrives, because I can't stand outside in the cold.
I also can't open the blinds because I can't reach up to close them when I'm wearing heavy clothes.
So I have to stand by the window and hold the blinds open.
Sometimes I'm standing there for thirty minutes.

It's a boring time.
I'm often tired and sometimes I'm frustrated and I usually feel like I'm wasting time just standing there. 
Sometimes I look at Facebook.
If I have the mental energy I read a few pages from an e-book.
If I know my roommate is awake I'll listen to music on Spotify.
Disco or Motown can be good "get you going" morning music.

When the vehicle arrives, I rush away from the window, grab my stuff, and hope I get to the door before the driver bangs on it.
Not all the drivers bang on the door, but I am annoyed at those who do pound on the door.
Do they not realize that clients may have family / friends / roommates that are still asleep?

This is my winter routine.

It's challenging, but I manage.

At least I don't live in a northern state.
That is something to be grateful for. 
I can't imagine adding snow, ice, and much colder temperatures to this scenario.

librarianintx

The Year in Review: 2018

It's almost the end of January, and I haven't written my recap of 2018.

I turned 50 in 2018, and I had big hopes that it would be a spectacular time, a transition, the year of "the new me."

None of that happened. It was a rough year. And there was no metamorphosis.

But good things still happened in 2018. I did grow and change to a certain extent. And I came through all the bad times a bit stronger I think.

My mantra in 2018 became, "Well, that sucked, but it could have been worse."

Here's a rundown of some of the tough patches:
1) significant leak in the apartment
2) rent amount confusion
3) identity theft
4) eyeglass prescription mix-up that left me seeing poorly for months
5) one of the worst inner ear flare-ups I've had since I was diagnosed in 2000
6) washing machine broke (it was repaired)
7) AT&T Uverse went down (it was repaired)
8) Megabus ticket mix-up

Still, I feel like I managed to salvage the year.

I went to two concerts, Culture Club and Def Leppard / Journey, saw Kathy Griffin live, plus I went to RuPaul's "Werk the World" live show and met the queens.

I met author Liane Moriarty.

I went to three Austin Public Library True Crime Book Club events, one 40's / 50's meet up game and music night, two Open Mike events at Malvern Books, a few NMD United meet-up lunches, the Texas Teen Book Festival in October, the Empty Bowl Project in November, and met co-workers for lunch at Central Market a few times. I went out to lunch, to the mall, to Barnes and Noble, and to get mani/pedis with friends in Houston. I also re-connected with two cousins on my dad's side and a former high school friend.

I went to the Oscar de la Renta exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston. And I went to the Austin Aquarium twice.

I saw some movies, both in the theater and at home:
I, Tonya
Girl on a Train
The Final Year
Victoria & Abdul
Wonder
The Theory of Everything
Pitch Perfect
Disobedience
RBG
Whitney Houston documentary
A Star is Born
Bohemian Rhapsody
Mary Queen of Scots

I ate at three new restaurants: Black Bear Diner in Katy, and Star of India and Honest Mary's in Austin.

I learned to like almonds.

I dabbled in cooking last year. All the dishes I made were vegan:
1) mushroom and spinach bowtie pasta
2) creamy garlic mushroom rigatoni
3) Mexican spiced quinoa
4) fettuccini alfredo
5) gnocchi with pasta sauce, mushrooms, olives, and peas
6) mushroom risotto

In disability-related happenings:
I went to the Transportation Works conference in Waco
The Campaign for Disability Employment shared my post and picture about their campaign
I participated in three women's health online focus groups

In political stuff:
I wrote about 60 postcards for the Democratic Party
I attended Beto O'Rourke's rally at ACC
I was in a picture on Beto's Instagram's page from that rally

In work-related news:
I was a judge for the Center for the Book's "Letters about Literature" contest
I participated in the "Read Across America" event at Rodriguez Elementary
I worked the Round Rock ISD Transition Fair
I participated in TSLAC's first Staff Development Day
The Disability Advisory Committee was nominated for a SafePlace Community Champion Group Award
SafePlace Disability Services PSA was released on Facebook featuring me and two members of the Disability Advisory Committee

I read 27 books in 2018. My goal was to read at least 24.

Unfortunately, I did not hit my goal of 100 blog posts during the year. I only wrote 90.

So, seeing it all written out, I guess it wasn't such a bad year. I mean, bad things happened, but a lot of good stuff occurred as well.

I'll focus on the good.
And hope for even better this year.

librarianintx

Resilience

I did a good job this morning of avoiding catastrophic thinking.

When I woke up tired and stuffy and achy and weak, I didn't jump to worse-case scenario:
I'm deteriorating.
This could be the beginning of the end.
Maybe I can't work anymore.
What will I do if I can't work anymore?
How will I pay my bills, afford food, clothing, doctor visits, etc?
Where will I live?
Who will take care of me? 

But I didn't let my mind go there.
I simply carried out my morning routine.
Shower
Clothes
Skin care
Hair care
Jewelry
Packed my food
Waited for my ride

And instead of worrying and talking myself into an anxiety spiral, I had this thought in my mind:
What if I decided I couldn't make it, I needed to stay home, and I missed some great opportunity?
Maybe today was going to be a great day, possibly one of the greatest days of my life, but I wouldn't know unless I at least gave it a shot.
Take it one step at a time.
Maybe it was going to be an ordinary day, or maybe it was going to be an extraordinary day.
Go, and find out.

Now don't misunderstand me.
If you're sick, you should stay home.
There's nothing wrong with being exhausted and needing a day to recover.

But if you're talking yourself out of going to work or school because of worry or anxiety, that's when you need to take as small of steps as necessary to be successful.

Two more pieces of advice if you wake up and don't feel well:
1) drink a glass of water - Dehydration can cause fatigue, headaches, weakness, and contribute to anxiety
2) eat something, preferably protein-rich foods like eggs, cheese, cottage cheese, peanut or almond butter, etc.
3) If the fatigue, headaches, and anxiety persist, see your doctor. You may have a sleep disorder.

Has it been an extraordinary day?
Not yet.
But I feel better than I did three hours ago.
That's good enough for me.

librarianintx

"Be On Time" Chronicles 1/14/19

My journey from work to the grocery store this past Friday was an ordeal, caused by a combination of unfortunate choices by me and an arduous Metro Access schedule.

Problems #1: I was hungry
I don't have time for breakfast, and I only get one break at work and no lunch, so I tend to graze at my desk. Usually I eat all the food I bring, which varies but can include bread, cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, fruit, hard boiled eggs, etc. On this particular day, I got busy and didn't get to eat before I left. Eating in the Metro Access vehicle is a no-no. Some people do it. Some drivers don't care, while others are rule sticklers. If I'm seriously famished / having a low blood sugar moment, I'll sneak something, but otherwise I wait because I don't want to be chastised like a child. If I drove my own car, I could eat and drink what I wanted to, and deal with any spillage consequences. But I am not in my own vehicle.

Problem #2: I had to pee
Badly
"Why didn't you go before you left?" you might want to ask.
I did.
But it didn't help.
Because I have a rule that I don't drink anything at least an hour before I'm scheduled to leave work, but I rarely follow my own rule, and it haunts me repeatedly.
I drank a fourth to a half glass of water during the last half hour of my work day, and then I went to the restroom five minutes before my ride window opened, but I couldn't pee enough.
Then the thirty minute clock started, my driver was late, and by the time I was finally in the vehicle and we were on our way, I really had to go.
I was screwed.
In the past, I have asked the driver to stop so I could pee. Sometimes I have simply had to. But I try to do it when it's an absolute emergency, and also I tend to ask if we are picking up / dropping off at a business or medical facility.
On this day, we were already behind schedule, I was trying to get to the store, and we had a drop off and a pick up that were both at residences.

So to get my mind off my increasingly uncomfortable situation, I decided to play a word game on my phone.

Good idea for redirecting my brain.
Bad idea because my inner ear didn't like me looking at my phone and not at the road.
3) I started feeling carsick

So it was a triple whammy - hangry, carsick, and having to pee - believe me when I say it was a VERY LONG hour in that car. Again because of the evil thirty minute window, my trip from work to HEB took about ninety minutes. A straight shot would have taken about twenty minutes.

Luckily, it was a good ending to a rough ride. I made it to the grocery store without fainting, vomiting, or wetting my pants.

A successful Metro Access excursion

librarianintx

Positive Psychology

I watched a webinar about positive psychology at work yesterday.
Positive Psychology has several caveats, including the fact that the choices you make influence your daily behaviors.

There is also the concept of growth mindset, which has to do with the belief that your brain is always growing and learning, and needs to be exercised like any other muscle in your body.
Fixed mindset makes you think you're not good at certain tasks, so you don't try to accomplish them. You are also reluctant to attempt new tasks and endeavors because you fear failure and frustration.

The facilitator asked if it's possible to change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
I think it is, and I feel I am making that change.
I used to be so nervous to try to something new. I would rarely attempt anything outside my comfort zone. I knew what I was good at, and I knew what I wasn't good at, and I just wouldn't do the tasks that I struggled with. I have never been good with reading directions, so I would just be helpless and wait for someone else to set something up for me. I was also terrible at giving directions, so I would let others find their own way and I would just say, "I don't know how to do that," or "I don't know how to get there."

Now I feel that I'm more willing to try. I still might not figure something out, but at least I make the attempt, and sometimes I'm actually successful. It's so empowering to work on something and fix it or create it or set it up all by yourself, and not need help from anyone. Sometimes the struggle is actually fun and exciting, which is a mindset I never thought I would experience. Of course it's okay to ask for help, and to need people sometimes. But it feels great to be independent and believe in yourself and your abilities. You feel better about yourself when you can at least say you tried to do something on your own.

I'm so pleased that at least to a certain extent I am developing a growth mindset.

librarianintx 

Grateful

Stunning morning in Texas -
Looking at the sky this morning, I was overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude.
Grateful that I'm physically able to work.
Grateful to have a job.
Grateful not to be furloughed, or have to work without pay, and worry about rent, food, medicine.

I appreciate all that I have, and what I am able to do.

And I appreciate this glorious sunrise.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. 

librarianintx

Not New Year's Resolutions

I don't make New Year's Resolutions.
But I do have goals every year.
I don't call them resolutions because resolutions usually get broken.
These are things I want to do to live a healthy, productive, happy life.

So here are my goals, in no particular order.
Most of them are continued goals from this year, and previous years.

1) continue to develop and nurture social relationships
2) try to eat healthy
3) related to #2: pack a lunch on workdays
4) even though I have a slew of television shows in the spring, I want to make more time to read
5) related to #4: read at least 24 books in the new year (a usual goal)
6) write at least 100 blog posts in the new year (another usual goal)
7) make time to exercise
8) save money
9) be motivated, focused, and grateful

These are pretty much the goals I had for 2018 as well. I feel I was successful with most, but not all of them.
There is always room for improvement.

librarianintx

Quotes from "Be Good to Yourself" 2018 calendar

I'm cheating a little. I looked ahead to the last few days of the calendar. There have been so many great quotes from this little calendar, and these last few are some of my favorites:

December 27th: "I've always loved butterflies, because they remind us that it's never too late to transform ourselves." - Drew Barrymore

December 28th: "Surround yourself with positive minds" - Anonymous

December 29th/30th: "Talk about your blessings more than your burdens." - Anonymous

December 31st: "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better." - Emile Coue

I hope it's not bad luck that I'm posting these early.

This year more than any other I have learned how important it is to have a  positive attitude and be grateful for what I have and what I am able to do. I've been through some rough times this year, but I've come through it all in one piece. The past month or two have mostly been good and happy, so I'm choosing to focus on that, along with the relief that I braved the choppy seas, and made it through every storm.

librarianintx

Survivor: David vs Goliath finale: My Thoughts

I'm late as usual - the finale aired more than a week ago. Overall, I was pleased with the result. Not super happy, but reasonably so. I would have been more excited if Christian had won. But once Christian was voted out, I put my hopes on Nick. And he had a great run at the end, winning the final four immunity challenges. I also thought he made the best case for a win in the final tribal council.

The final three was close to my dream final three. My dream team would have been Christian, Nick, and either Mike or John. Mike was a worthy contender; he played a good social game, although he got too cocky at the end. I DID NOT want Angelina in the final three, although I understand why Nick chose her to sit next him. You take the players that you think you can beat, and it was pretty obvious that both Nick and Mike could beat Angelina. I'm glad she didn't get any votes; she didn't deserve any. I am all for strong women; I am not for petty, vindictive women. What she did to Allison with the fake immunity idol was ridiculous. I also liked the fact that someone in the jury called Angelina out for multiple mentions of her "selfless" act of securing more rice for the tribe.

Overall it was a very good season. I enjoyed the "David vs Goliath" theme, and I am very happy that a "David" prevailed, although there were a few Goliath members that I liked too.

Looking forward to next season, I am super excited: My second favorite player in Survivor history, David Wright, is returning! People know what a strong player he became, so they may be gunning for him from the get-go, but I'm hoping he can make it far, and maybe even win this time!

librarianintx

Survivor David vs Goliath - My Thoughts on Last Night's Vote

I knew I would like this David vs Goliath season, because I have always rooted for a David in Survivor. Underdogs have always been my favorite. I get attached to the person who is so far out of his/her comfort zone - who has never even been camping, much less tossed onto a foreign island with no food, shelter, or clean drinking water. I cheer for the scrawny, pale, socially awkward, nervous person who sometimes becomes a brilliant Survivor player, and even more amazingly, occasionally wins. But if my favorite doesn't win, they are often remembered for how much they changed and grew as a person, and how well they played the game.

Two players instantly come to mind for me: John Cochran and David Wright. They are my all-time favorite Survivor contestants. For people who watch the show, no explanation is needed. But for those who don't: a brief history. John (known as Cochran to viewers) was first on the South Pacific season of the show. In his first time on the show, Cochran was rather socially inept and struggled to make friends. He tried to make a big move and flipped on his former tribe after the merge. He finished in eighth place on that season.

Cochran returned for the Caramoan season of Survivor, which was subtitled, "Fans vs Favorites." He played a masterful game this time, forming and leading alliances, and systematically eliminating players. He purposefully went to Final Tribal Council with two contestants who had no chance of winning: Dawn Meehan and Sherri Biethman. During the season, he won three individual immunity challenges, including the dreaded "disgusting island delicacies" challenge. He won the show in a unanimous vote, and admitted to Jeff during the reunion show that he was less interested in his law degree and had become inspired to be a writer. "I've been told I have the gift of gab," he said. Cochran will also be remembered for acquiring one of the worst sunburns ever seen on Survivor.

David Wright of the Millennials vs Gen X season was arguably the biggest fish out of water the show has ever seen. Pasty white, out of shape, anxious, scared of his own shadow, and 100% out of his comfort zone, David was a lock for first contestant getting his torch snuffed. Instead, he morphed into a formidable player: forming alliances, making bold moves, and winning a tough endurance challenge. He will perhaps be best known for blindsiding a strong player with a fake hidden immunity idol that he constructed. David was voted out fourth, but deserved to win. He wasn't the sole survivor in his season, but the personal growth and inner strength he achieved during his time on the island may have been worth a million dollars to him. 

In the Fall 28 season of Survivor, there was a whole tribe of underdogs the show called "Davids." I was so excited, thinking I had a whole tribe of people to root for. But it took me awhile to find a favorite. Christian should have been an obvious choice, but he wasn't at first. He actually annoyed me in the beginning. He talked too much and I knew he was too smart for me. But then he grew on me. I like how polite he is. Even when he lost a reward challenge, he congratulated the person / people who won, and he was sincere. I liked how nice and comforting he was to Gabby, even though I want to shake her for making such stupid moves. I like Nick a lot too, but Christian was my "David" this season, and I was so sorry to see him get voted off last night.

Most memorable moment for me with Christian: The five hour epic endurance challenge that Christian won against Alec. There were more contestants in the challenge, but Christian and Alec were the final two, and battled the longest. Christian had a brilliant, yet simple strategy: He talked incessantly. For hours evidently.This not only drove Alec to the brink of madness and ultimately made him break, it also made Christian focus on something other than his physical discomfort. Alec spent most of the challenge telling everyone he was going to win and firmly believing he would win, but Christian's droning soliloquy made Alec do otherwise.

Christian, you deserved better than seventh place, but I hope you're proud of what you achieved this season. You were a person that the other contestants saw as a threat to win. And I think you deserved to win. I hope you get another chance to play the game.

librarianintx

Eating Smart for a Healthier Brain

https://www.webmd.com/diet/features/eat-smart-healthier-brain#2

One of the things I want to do in the new year (I'm not calling it a resolution) is to eat healthier. I think I already eat fairly healthy, but I can definitely improve. When I get busy, stressed, and tired, I tend to fall back on the quick and easy carbs I like such as mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. I'm not going to eliminate those foods from my diet, but I need to eat them more in moderation, and when combined with protein and vegetables.

As I get older, I'm thinking about taking care of my brain and my heart. Here's a list of good foods for your brain:

blueberries
wild salmon
nuts and seeds
avocados
whole grains
beans
pomegranate juice
freshly brewed tea
dark chocolate

This is a good list for me, because except for pomegranate juice, which I don't think I've ever tried, I like everything else. Now, just because I like these foods doesn't mean I eat them often enough. I have become a fan of almonds, and they are a snack I could eat nearly every day. I'm also a big fan of dark chocolate, and usually eat sugar free varieties. I also eat a good amount of beans, mainly black and pinto beans. I drink tea in the winter, and I eat blueberry yogurt or fresh blueberries in vanilla yogurt occasionally. I like salmon but don't cook it often. I eat avocado about once a week, but it would be easy to increase that.

Other foods that are supposed to boost brain health are spinach and broccoli, which I also like, but need to eat more of.

So that's a goal in 2019. Eat more of these foods!

a few meal / snack ideas:
1) salmon with spinach, avocado, and / or broccoli
2) beans with avocado
3) almonds with dark chocolate
4) vanilla yogurt with blueberries
5) next day salmon on whole wheat toast

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars news

It has now been confirmed that "Dancing with the Stars" will not be a part of  the ABC Spring 2019 lineup.

The show has been on two seasons per year for the past several years, although Spring of 2018 was an abbreviated, five week "Athletes edition" of the show.

No reason was given for the hiatus, but many are speculating that Bobby Bones' controversial win has something to do with the decision.
We may never know for sure.

"Dancing with the Stars" is one of my favorite shows, so part of me is sad. I look forward to the show every season, even if I don't know some of the contestants when they are first announced. I enjoy the dancing, the music, and watching people learn how to do something new and often conquer fears and insecurities along the way. 

However, I must admit that another part of me is experiencing some measure of relief. The show is a big time commitment - sometimes two episodes per week, plus constructing recaps, other blog postings, and occasional voting. I have many other shows that I watch, plus I'm in book clubs and endeavoring to find more social outlets. One less show, especially a show that takes up more of my time, will be helpful this spring.

At least I don't have to worry about cancellation -
At least I don't think I do.

I'm already mourning the approaching series finale of "Big Bang Theory."
Please don't cancel "Dancing with the Stars," ABC.
It would be too much for me.
A hiatus is okay...maybe even a good thing, but please don't cancel it. 

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Season 27 Finals

The season is over and I've already written about the results. But I have recapped most of the season, so I want to post the last two recaps. I'm doing the finals first and then the semi-finals.

Part One: Memorable routines

1) Alexis & Alan
Argentine Tango - Swan Lake - from week 2
I didn't see the ballet moves as much this time, and I missed that element. I enjoyed the Argentine Tango / ballet fusion the first time this routine was performed. I think they were a little nervous, but it was a solid routine. It showed off Alexis' flexibility and extension, and Alan's strength on the lifts.
Len: "lovely, lyrical, consistently good"
Bruno: "poise and confidence of the beautiful black swan, found yourself"
Carrie Ann: "expressive, but point wasn't as strong as the first time"
Scores: 9, 9, 9
My score: 9

2) Bobby & Sharna
Cha Cha - MC Hammer routine - from Trios nite
Extra dancers - ugh. And he didn't dance on the judges' table like last time, which was the exciting part. Bobby had better dances this season, so in my opinion he was going for viewer votes more than judges' scores with this performance. He cared more about pleasing the audience. On the positive side, there was recognizable Cha Cha content in this routine. On the downside, he didn't dance very well. He was over-excited, rushing, timing was off, it was sloppy. The Hammer time part he executed well, but he needed to do a lot better on the Cha Cha parts. 
Bruno: "digging it, everything is so honestly you, irresistible"
Carrie Ann: "defy the laws of ballroom and Latin dancing, but hard work and determination pays off"
Len: "put the 'ham' in hammertime, but you make it so much fun"
Scores: 8, 8, 8
My score: 7

3) Evanna & Keo
Tango - from Halloween nite
Just as good as the first time, although the extra dancers were so annoying! They got in the way more than once! The dance gathered momentum as it went, sharp and fast especially towards the end, with a dramatic finish.
Carrie Ann: "most improved by far, even better the second time"
Len: "you improved your posture and frame, mission accomplished"
Bruno: "crisp, clean, clear"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 9

4) Milo & Witney
Charleston - New York subway routine - Week 2
I don't always love the singers performing live during a competitive routine because the singer often takes the spotlight away from the dancers and the dance. But the song, "Living in New York City," was perfect, and Milo and Witney fed off the energy from Robin Thicke and the live band. I absolutely adore his youthful exuberance and how light and easy he makes the Charleston look. Milo was slinging Witney all over the place, her hair was flying, his white sneakers were bobbing - it was so fresh and fun and exhilarating - a fantastic ride!
Len: "so much confidence and maturity, didn't like it so much last time, but 100% right on the money this time"
Bruno: "even more exciting and sharper than ever, you are the real deal, destined for great things"
Carrie Ann: "he is ridiculously amazing"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 10

Round Two: Freestyle!

1) Alexis & Alan
When Donald Driver and Peta danced to a song sung live by Cowboy Joe, I didn't feel the song detracted from the performance at all. But here, I felt the cutaways to Avril lessened the impact of the dance. Also, they were too far away and hidden by the boulder in the beginning. But the overhead shots were cool. And for the most part Alexis was the star of the routine. It was a very good Contemporary dance, but not memorable enough for a freestyle in my opinion. The main thing I'll probably remember is the boulder. Still, she's a great dancer.
Len: "full of drama, song did not overpower the dance"
Bruno: "big risk, difficult technically and emotionally"
Carrie Ann: "better when you hit the floor"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 9

2) Bobby & Sharna
It was an entertaining routine. It was a big production number. But I just didn't get it. I didn't understand the big buildup - to what? Why did they stop the number? Were they building up to the Erkle move - is that what that was? And why was Tom flossing his teeth? I just didn't get the humor. If you're going to promise something big, do something big, or at least attempt something big.
Bruno: "Give it to me, perfect freestyle for a free spirit."
Carrie Ann: "I'm so confused, but you shone so brightly"
Len: "100% the people's champion, tonight my champion"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 9

3) Milo & Witney
That was a contemporary routine on steroids! Wow! They jam-packed that routine with so much adrenaline! Milo was hot, sexy (I know, he's 17!), and debonair at the same time. I loved the song, I loved the vibe, I loved the prop work, everything. Great partnering as always too. He and Witney threw every bit of themselves into that routine. Amazing!
Carrie Ann (jaw hanging open): "My mind is blown, never had a freestyle with that much content, from boy to man"
Len: "control and drama"
Bruno: "versatility, quality of movement, you're a star"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 10

4) Evanna & Keo
As Len would say, I liked the hard and soft, the light and shade of the routine. The dance went perfectly with the music - slow, then fast, slow again, then fast again. I really like how Keo has showcased Evanna in every performance this season. She is always the star of the routine, and this was no exception. She was strong, sassy, confident, and showed great musicality. I think Milo and Witney's dance would have made a slightly better final routine, but this was a showstopper too.
Len: "cherry on the cake, liked the mix"
Bruno: "bright, colorful, quirky, character, center of attention, leading lady"
Carrie Ann: "you made it your own, and you made it spectacular"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 10

As we all know, Bobby and Sharna won the mirrorball. It was an odd moment when their names were announced; people didn't know how to react. They knew they were supposed to yell and squeal and be happy, but I think a lot of people were unsettled with the outcome. I find it very ironic that as Bobby and Sharna were celebrating their win, the music in the background was "The Greatest Show." This was not the finest moment for "Dancing with the Stars."

librarianintx

Three Quotes I Need to Focus on Today

1) Don't ruin a good today by thinking about a bad yesterday. Let it go. - Anonymous

2) Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear. - Anonymous

3)  ”You have two ways to live your life, from memory or inspiration."
In other words, you can take your cues about how to live your life from what happened in the past, or you can make your decisions based on what you're excited to do and become in the future.

- Joe Vitale

I struggle on a daily basis with focusing negatively on the past and obsessively worrying about the future.

I need to be mindful and live in the present.
Focus on today, and make the most of every moment.

librarianintx  

Dancing with the Stars Season 27 Finale - My Thoughts

Math is not subjective.
Two plus two equals four, and no one can argue with that.
If it's a sunny day, the sun is visible. No one can say, "I don't see the sun. The clouds must be covering it up." A sunny day is not subjective. There is no arguing over it.

Dancing can be subjective. A person may be capable of performing dance steps, but does that makes them a dancer? Does that make them a good dancer? "Good" is a subjective term. What appeals to one person might not appeal to others. There is more to dancing than just steps. There's rhythm, there's musicality, there's soul, there's personality. A person has to be able to "sell" a dance. Make others want to watch, want to root for you, want to enjoy what you are doing, and if it's a competition, want to vote for you and make you the winner.

There have been twenty-season seasons of Dancing with the Stars. Twenty-seven winners. I have the list of names in front of me. In my opinion, every single one of them was a worthy winner. In every season did my favorite dancer win? No. But every person who won was capable of dancing and deserved the title.

Until last night.

Let me be very clear. I have nothing but respect for Bobby Bones the person. He's a great guy and people obviously love him. Bobby didn't steal the title. He didn't cheat to win, or anything like that. My only complaint is that for the first time in the show's history, a person who is not a strong-enough dancer won the title. That's it.

Bobby is a smart guy. He knows he's not a dancer. He knows he didn't really become a dancer, even though he did improve during the season. I think he's extremely appreciative that his fans love him and voted for him, but he likely also feels guilty that he won a title that he doesn't deserve. Earlier this year I was nominated for an award by a group that I volunteer for. I attend meetings and give my input, but I don't do anything more than that. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't have time to. I don't put in extra hours or go beyond my duties as a committee member. So while I appreciate being nominated for an award, I would have felt weird if I had won, because I don't feel that I deserved to win.

So You Think It Can Dance is a show that makes it's premise and it's direction very clear: The show does not crown the *best* dancer every season. It crowns "America's *favorite* dancer." Now, the word favorite can also be subjective, because the winner isn't always the dancer that I liked best. But it is who the majority of voters liked. And that's an important point too. Most seasons, I don't vote on Dancing with the Stars. So you can call me a hypocrite if you like. Because why am I bitching when I didn't even vote? If I had voted, maybe my favorite would have won. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here this morning lamenting the worst outcome in Dancing with the Stars history. Maybe I could have helped to change the outcome.

The final episode of this season was rather odd. There was no two hour Tuesday night results show, which was actually fine with me. That show is always awash with filler. But I felt this finale was kind of rushed. The freestyles seemed shorter. There was no final fusion dance. And while John and Tinashe got to sing, DeMarcus was part of the professional guys routine, Juan Pablo got his own dance with Cheryl, and Joe (sigh) was the centerpiece of a Bachelor production number, poor Danelle, Mary Lou, and Nancy were relegated to smiling and clapping in the skybox. I don't think Nikki was even in the ballroom. And why should she be, if she knew she was just going to be window dressing. 

So what's the answer here? How do we prevent a weak dancer from winning the show? I don't think there is an answer. The show has instituted a judges' save before, when an eliminated contestant can be brought back. But a judges' save would not have helped Juan Pablo, because they usually aren't used during a semi-final round. And if there had been a judges' save, they likely would have used it on Tinashe, who went out way too early.

The show has always run based on viewers' votes. Judges give scores and critiques, but the viewers have always determined the winner. I think we are very lucky that in twenty-six seasons, the public has rewarded a qualified candidate. Not necessarily the best every season, but worthy - I would say yes.

To Bobby I say congratulations. People love you and admire you and that is what you should focus on. You won based on viewers' votes, and that is the rule of the show. To Alexis, Evanna, Juan Pablo, and Milo - you are all terrific dancers, and any one of you deserved that mirrorball trophy. All four of you has something to be proud of:
1) Alexis got a boyfriend out of the deal.
2) Evanna fulfilled her dream of dancing, and helped Keo make it to the finals for the first time.
3) Juan Pablo knows he was the favorite of most dancing experts, and basked in the outrage at his elimination.
4) Milo is the youngest male to dance in the finals.

I'm disappointed at the outcome, but it was a terrific season, and I still love the show!

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 16 - body

What about my body am I grateful for?

As I said in an earlier post, I'm simply grateful that at my age, given my health conditions, I'm grateful that my body works as well as it does. Otherwise, there isn't anything that I like about my body. I don't have a favorite body part or attribute. I used to like my hair, but not anymore. I can't think of anything that's good about my body. There is a lot I want to improve, but I'm not undergoing plastic surgery or shelling out money for unnecessary procedures just to look better. And unfortunately my body just isn't going to work the way the most people's do. I'm always going to struggle to walk and to comb my hair and to reach for things, etc. Unless I am cured of multiple health conditions.

So I simply endeavor to be grateful for what I can do, and hold on to as many abilities as I can. I am scared every day of losing the abilities that make me as independent as I am.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 15 - season

Which season am I grateful for?

In Texas, summer is too hot - and humid.
Winter is often too cold - for me anyway.
I like spring, because of the wildflowers, and how fresh and green everything is (except when there's a drought).
But I don't like spring because of the severe weather and tornadoes.
We can have severe weather in fall too, even occasionally in winter, but it's not as prevalent.
I like the cool-down in the fall, but its usually not too cold yet.
And I like the fall colors, although we don't get fall foliage like the northeast does.
I'm not a fan of Halloween, but I really like Thanksgiving.
So fall is the season I'm most grateful for.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 14 - sight

What sight am I grateful for?

I work for a library that serves individuals with various levels of vision loss - from low vision to total blindness.

I have seen how people with vision impairments struggle to get around. But I have also seen how mobility training, low cost aids, and assistive technology can greatly improve the lives of people with vision loss. Individuals with vision impairments can lead independent, fulfilling lives, have jobs, raise children, etc.

So I do not take my sight for granted. I revel in beautiful sunrises and sunsets, clear blue skies, twinkling stars, butterflies, colorful dresses, and happy faces.

Since my inner ear doesn't work well, I am especially grateful for my sight, as it is one of our four  systems of balance. 

Recently I discovered my glasses were made incorrectly, and that's why I was struggling to see properly. I had to put my face right up to the computer to see the screen. When I was trying to read my phone, words and numbers were blurry. I was frustrated and worried that my eyesight was deteriorating. Now the prescription has been corrected, and I am seeing better, but I'm still getting accustomed to wearing progressive lenses.

I'm endeavoring to wear my sunglasses and maintain proper nutrition to have the best chance of preserving my sight.

librarianintx

Strange Encounter in Walmart

I was shopping in a Walmart last weekend, and a woman stopped me as I was pushing a cart down an aisle.

"Is this yours?" she asked, holding up some small item.

"No," I replied.

"Oh," she responded, "I thought it might be yours. I found it near your cart."

"It's not mine," I said.

"Okay," she continued brightly, then said quickly, "Can I give you a hug?"

"No," I answered abruptly, and maneuvered my cart away from her.

This encounter occurred less than five minutes after another woman tried to hand me a pamphlet and told me that "Jesus loves me," so I was already irritated. I hate to say it, or think it, but I believe this second woman asked if she could hug me so she could try to steal from me...check for money in my pocket, a wallet, etc. She may have had someone with her who could have snatched my phone from the shopping cart. Maybe she was actually a kind lady who was feeling the holiday spirit and wanted to be helpful and affectionate. I hate to think she had nefarious intentions. But who offers to hug a stranger in a Walmart? I'm a small female, and unfortunately I likely look vulnerable and easy to subdue. That's why, just in case, I walked away from her right away, and responded sternly to her.

Sad that people can't be trusted or believed, especially during this time of year. 

Happy Holidays!

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 13 - abilities

What abilities am I grateful for?

I am now 50 years old, and I have a neuromuscular disease.
So I am literally grateful for every ability I have - walking, using my arms, breathing, swallowing, everything.
Unfortunately, I also worry nearly ever day about losing the abilities that I have, and what I'm going to do when that happens.
But I try to remind myself that it hasn't happened yet, and hopefully it won't.

Balance is an ability that could be the first to go for me, and if I fall that could cause a domino pattern of losing other abilities. If I fall I might break a hip or a leg, which could lead to a period of reduced mobility, which could make me susceptible to respiratory problems...
But again, I'm worrying about something that might never happen.

I had a virus or cold about two weeks ago, and I'm still trying to get back to baseline. Yesterday about 7 pm I was feeling weak and worn out, but I had chores I needed to do. I didn't know how I was going to get them done, given how I was feeling. But I pulled myself together and I got everything accomplished. I tried to remind myself that I do that too often - I get worried that I can't do something, and then I get it done.

I do not take any physical ability I have for granted.

Dina 

Perseverance and motivation

I was proud of myself yesterday.
I don't say that often, but I should say it more.

Even though I didn't feel well, I was motivated to take care of myself.
I got up early enough to do my morning routine - shower, wash my hair, skin care, etc.
I dressed warmly against the early cold snap - one of my new hoodies, heavy coat.
I did my balance exercises when I first arrived at work. (I have been lax about my balance exercises for weeks.)
I took all my medicine.
I drank a full glass of liquid while I was at work. It was Gatorade, not water, but at least I was somewhat hydrated.
I ate a good amount of protein. 

There were times in the day when I was feeling weak and shaky, and that always makes me nervous, because I get scared I won't be able to work or take care of myself.
But when it happens I try to remind myself that the feelings have always been temporary.
I feel bad, and then I feel better.
So far I always improve.

Hopefully taking care of myself will continue to help the situation.
And remembering to live life one day at a time.

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Season 27 - Country Nite

I'm a week late on this recap because I've been a little sickly - and because I wasn't looking forward to country nite.
But I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
I especially liked the costumes in the opening number.
Yee-haw! :)

Round One: Individual dances

1) John & Emma
Jazz
The set was hokey, the song is old and rather hokey (but a classic), there were extra dancers, the humor in the dance was hokey (snapping suspenders), suspenders and neck handkerchiefs - all annoying. But the dancing with sharp, fast, and everyone was in sync. So it's hard for me to score this. The couples don't get to choose the music, and I think Emma did well with the choreography, given the song, and John's moves and musicality were good. It was just such a cheesy routine.
Len: "that's the way to open a show"
Bruno: "brought the best out of you, timing was better"
Carrie Ann: "you did your best, joy to watch you"
Scores: 8, 9, 8
My score: 8

2) Evanna & Keo
Rumba
Their chemistry was better than I expected. Sparks flew between them, which I haven't felt from them before. It was a sultry, sexy routine. Unfortunately, the moment I felt the most passion from them - in the middle of the performance - the camera cut to the singer. There was plenty of Rumba content. The only problem was, their movements were so quick and sharp that they lacked the fluidity and hip action usually seen in a Rumba. But I still enjoyed it. Evanna looked beautiful!
Bruno: "transformation - pure, proper Rumba"
Carrie Ann: "so good, true transformation, peaking at the right time"
Len: "hands were gorgeous, nothing in there that I didn't like"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 9
I'm so happy the judges didn't agree with me!

3) Juan Pablo & Cheryl
Charleston
Tough to do a country Charleston, and tough to dance in jeans (tight), and boots, but Juan Pablo makes everything look easy. He absolutely sells every dance he does with his big smile, musicality, and technique. I saw a lot of country moves, but not as much Charleston. It was a fun dance with some complicated tricks and moves from the truck to the floor.
Carrie Ann: "Is there anything you can't do? You hit everything perfectly."
Len: "great mix of Charleston and country"
Bruno: "You two are flying high, you always deliver"
Scores: 10, 10, 10
My score: 9

4) Joe & Jenna
Tango
Between the bright lights and the extra dancers, I lost Joe and Jenna more than once in the beginning. But wow, what a huge improvement! Dances in hold definitely work better for him. He was doing steps! He had a good frame! He had speed! Joe is becoming a dancer! At least he was in this routine. Good for him!
Len: "a little unstable in places"
Bruno: "invented your own technique"
Carrie Ann: "You don't give up"
Scores: 7, 7, 7
My score: 8

5) Milo & Witney
Foxtrot
A leading man at the age of 17! To me this was a perfect Foxtrot. Excellent frame, excellent footwork, excellent partnering - They were a dream out there. Subtle little nuances like his hand behind his back and a small turn of his ankle were not lost on me - I noticed. Simply perfection.
Bruno: "proper, classic Foxtrot, always 100% believable"
Carrie Ann: "you are the one to beat - Your height difference is a challenge, but you handle it beautifully"
Len: "maturity beyond your years"
Scores: 10, 9, 10
My score: 10

6) DeMarcus & Lindsay
Viennese Waltz
Another leading man. This was a beautiful routine. I loved how sensual it was. DeMarcus and Lindsay work very well together; they have to in order to make those lifts so successful. In this routine their chemistry was through the roof. It was a graceful, sophisticated performance, except unfortunately they lost their balance on the end pose. But otherwise - stunning routine. And the music worked surprisingly well with a Viennese Waltz.
Carrie Ann: "dance with full expression, dynamic and poetic"
Len: "softness, elegance, gentleness"
Bruno: "charming and irresistible, light touch, smooth, true gentleman"
Scores: 9, 9, 9
My score: 9 (almost a 10)

7) Alexis & Alan
Samba
It's about time, Alan! :)
Loads of Samba content in this routine. Alexis is beautiful and sexy no matter what she wears, and I realize this is a picky comment, but I wonder why they didn't put her in a sexier costume. The cutesy blue dress and matching hair bow looked more suited for a Jive or Jazz routine, especially with retro 50's music. Her blue ankle boots were super cute too. Anyway, the dance worked surprisingly well with the country song. It was a fast-paced, well-executed, and well-choreographed routine that looked fresh and pop / country hip.
Len: "so much great Samba content, best routine of the night"
Bruno: "match made in Samba heaven"
Carrie Ann: "just ahead of the music"
Scores: 9, 10, 10
My score: 9 (almost a 10)

8) Bobby & Sharna
Viennese Waltz
He got the best song of the night. Bobby tried, but he just didn't get the flow of the Viennese Waltz. The dance felt too choppy, too staccato. There wasn't the sweeping movement across the floor. DeMarcus' routine had the flow, the grandeur, the elegance, the sophistication. Bobby fell just short of achieving a proper Viennese Waltz.
Bruno: "top nothc for effort"
Carrie Ann: "a little tense"
Len: "relax more, but your best dance"
Scores: 8, 8, 8
My score: 7
Note: Len changed his score from a "7" to an "8" so Bobby could give him a kiss.

Round Two: Group dances

1) Team Hay Now!
Bobby & Sharna, Evanna & Keo, John & Emma, Milo & Witney
Song: "9 to 5"
I absolutely loved their enthusiasm! Even though they have a range of dance ability, they were amazingly in sync. The choreography was complicated - jumping on tables, jumping over tables, dancing in formation, plus partner dancing. I think they nailed it! Very entertaining! Yes, there was milking cows at one point, but I didn't find it hokey. It was very entertaining! Fantastic teamwork!
Len: "Hollywood to Dollywood - loved it!"
Bruno: "country triumph! Brilliant!"
Carrie Ann: "MVP Bobby! So many levels and styles!"
Scores: 10, 9, 10
My score: 10!

2) Team Joe Down
Joe & Jenna, Alexis & Alan, Juan Pablo & Cheryl, DeMarcus & Lindsay
Song: "Country Girl" by Luke Bryan
I am SO impressed by these teams! No drama, no stress, and two excellent routines! This one also had complex choreography. I was especially impressed with the part where the guys lifted the girls and danced in a circle chain. They were just a hair shy of being in sync, and the energy sagged a time or two, but overall it was a very strong routine. They worked well as a team, although the couples dancing was the most successful part of the performance. And Alexis was a standout in this number - She was smokin' hot and held her own against three professional female dancers.
Bruno: "nice and hot, Alexis was like a professional girl, number was smoking!"
Carrie Ann: "throw down the sexiness, Joe made a few mistakes, harder routine than the first"
Len: "worked your socks off"
Scores: 9, 8, 9
My score: 9

In jeopardy:
John & Emma
DeMarcus & Lindsay
Evanna & Keo

This was a double elimination.
Evanna & Keo were safe.

I feel bad for John because the competition meant so much to him.
I will miss the idea of a lift-tastic freestyle from DeMarcus and Lindsay if they had make it to the finale, which admittedly was a rather long shot.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 12 - texture

What texture am I grateful for?

Definitely soft.
I am not a fan of scratchy.
I do not like wool.
I think I might be allergic to it.
When I used to wear wool pullover sweaters, I found it difficult to breathe as the fabric went over my head.

Since we're having a cold snap this week (by Texas standards), my favorite things are the five new hoodie sweatshirts I bought - plus all the other zip-up hoodies and sweaters I have. All of the hoodies are soft and warm, lined with fleece. Ahhhh. They feel so good. I love being bundled up in my hoodies. I don't like having to wear a coat because it's heavy and restricts my movement, but my hoodies are awesome!

I have more than 25 hoodies, jackets, and sweaters. Excessive? Probably. But I wear all of them, even the one that is my least favorite because I don't like the color much. Three of my jackets are heavier than the others, so I wear them when it is coldest. Some of my hoodies have writing on them and some don't. All of them have pockets. Pockets are a must. And the zipper has to work too. I give away a hoodie, jacket, or sweater if the zipper stops working, or becomes too difficult for me to manage.

I have just about every color of hoodie, jacket, or sweater that you can think of - except orange. My least favorite hoodie is kind of salmon-colored. It is NOT orange. I thought it was pink, but it's not. But that's okay. I have two dark pink hoodies, one light pink hoodie, and a light pink zip-up sweater. I also have dark pink and light pink lightweight sweaters. In addition, I have a light pink button-down shirt that I could wear as a light-weight jacket. I have a lot of clothes! :)

The library where I work is always cold, even in the summer, so my hoodies and sweaters get used year round. My roommate gave me the nickname sweater girl years ago, because I'm cold-natured and almost always have a sweater with me. In the summer I wear a light-weight sweater or jacket on the way to work, because sometimes the air conditioner is running in the vehicle, then put on a heavier jacket or sweater when I get to the library. I call this process my "Mr. Rodgers technique," although I only change sweaters, not shoes too. :)

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 11 - holiday

What holiday am I most grateful for?

I have a hard time with holidays, because I have several people that I am very close to, and I rarely get to spend a holiday with all of them. If I go to Houston for a holiday, then I don't get to spend it with my roommate. If I'm in Houston, I might spend a holiday with my family, but not get to see my close friends that are also in Houston. I rarely get to spend time with everyone at the same time.

So rather than decide on one specific holiday, I'll say that the time around Hanukkah and Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I get to spend time and exchange gifts with my roommate. Then I go to Houston on on my mom's birthday, December 21st, and spend a few days each with my family and with my close friends. So I'm not with everyone all at once, but I think I get quality time with the people in my life during the holidays. I rarely get to see my nieces during the year, so any time with them is precious. We have meals at my sister and brother-in-law's house, play games, watch movies, discuss television shows, etc. Occasionally we go to events at the science or art museums, or go to the mall, or out to eat. My sister and mom make potato latkes at least once during the holidays, and my mom bakes her famous sugar cookies.

Thanksgiving is also a favorite holiday of mine, because the food is so good, and because it is another opportunity to visit with my nieces. Mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce....YUM!! I can't wait! :)

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 10 - taste

What taste am I grateful for?

Okay - 100% honesty, and not trying to say something healthy and beneficial.
Let's face reality -
I'm grateful for chocolate.

I'm grateful for healthy food too - and I try to eat healthy - although I think the notion of healthy food can be subjective. For example, I think dairy products are healthy, but some people would disagree with me. I think chicken and fish are healthy proteins, but vegetarians and vegans would not agree.

Anyway, yes, I'm grateful for chocolate. I enjoy the taste of chocolate. I like the feeling of eating chocolate - the endorphins or whatever that are released when I eat chocolate.

But I am trying to cut down on sugar.
I don't think I will ever eliminate sugar from my diet.
But I have cut down.

I'm happy that there are more sugar-free and low sugar products out there.
I eat chocolate cookies that are made without refined sugar.
If you're interested, the brand is called Enjoy Life
I also eat dark chocolate pudding and dark chocolate candy that is made with sugar alcohol instead of sugar.

I still occasionally eat cookies, cake, ice cream, donuts, and other foods made with sugar.
But sometimes if someone brings sugary foods to work, I can eat a few pieces of my sugar-free candy, and that keeps me away from the other stuff. My sugar cravings can be satisfied that way.

I don't feel like I'm addicted to chocolate.
I don't eat it every day.
But I do enjoy it.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 9 - place

What place am I grateful for?

Well, that's kind of vague.

I've mentioned how much I enjoy going to the butterfly museum.

But I would say the place I'm most grateful for is my apartment.
I am grateful that I have a place to live, a roof over my head.
I'm grateful that I have the money to afford a place to live.

I'm grateful that I live near a grocery store, shops, and restaurants.
No place is 100% safe, but I think we live in a decent area.
I don't use the fancy pool or workout room much, but I have plans to.
The complex staff knows me, and maintenance issues are usually dealt with promptly.

I wish I had a bigger apartment.
I would like a third bedroom.
An office
A room we could use as a library / media room.
A bigger kitchen.
Nicer carpet.
But still - I'm grateful for what I have.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 8 - book

What book am I most grateful for?

Really? Just like with which memory, it would be impossible for me to choose one book that I am grateful for. Truly. I'm not even going to try.

Am I failing at this thirty day challenge?
I'm not, because I'm mostly keeping up with it, although I did get a day behind. But I'm not really answering the questions. Not the way they're supposed to be answered, I think.

I love to read. It is my favorite hobby. For the past few years, I have a goal of reading at least 24 books a year. I surpassed that number last year, and will likely do so again this year. I would like to raise the goal, but I haven't because I don't have as much time to read as I want. Last year I started reading books on audio. I prefer to read a print or e-book, but I have more opportunities to read an audio book because I read in a vehicle, on a bus, or when I'm eating or doing chores around the house.

I have a ton of books, but I keep buying more. My wish list on the Barnes and Noble web site is 6 pages long. I have more books now than I will probably be able to read, but that doesn't stop me. I just want more time to read.

I love getting lost in a book.

librarianintx
 

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 7 - Memory

What memory am I most grateful for?

Uh...yeah...impossible to name one memory that I am grateful for. I think anyone would say that.

What I will say is that as I get older, I am more intent on making memories. For so long my health has been erratic and what I had to concentrate on was getting through work every day and doing chores, making it to the grocery store, etc. I didn't have the energy to get out much and do fun stuff. Now that my health is better, and I'm working more hours so my financial situation is slightly improved, I can get out more - go to concerts, shows, movies, out to eat, etc. I have more motivation and improved concentration. My goal is to have a list of accomplishments and activities at the end of every year. I want to see things and do things and experience things. I don't want my life to be just about work and watching television. I want to go to concerts and attend book clubs and go out to dinner with friends. I want to experience new situations. I want to challenge myself - learn something new and do something that scares me.

I want to live a happy, fulfilling, purposeful life.

I want to make lots of memories. So many that it will be impossible to choose which one was the best.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 6 - Nature

I was feeling poorly yesterday, so I have to catch up...

What in nature am I grateful for?

I'm not a big nature person. I don't spend a lot of time outdoors. I sunburn easily. Also, I'm sensitive to both heat and cold. Around 75 degrees with little wind is perfect weather for me. But you rarely get the kind of weather you want. Plus I can't walk far, struggle with inclines and uneven surfaces, I don't have reliable transportation, blah blah. So for all these reasons, I don't get out in nature much.

But that doesn't mean I dislike nature. I enjoy having picnics, especially if I can sit somewhere in the shade. Going to the zoo is also a favorite thing to do, although I don't get to very often. For a few weeks in the spring parts of Texas are awash in wildflowers, and I love going for a drive in the Hill Country and stopping to take pictures in the flowers. 

For me the very best thing about nature is the butterfly. I became a butterfly enthusiast a few years ago. The Houston Museum of Natural Science features the Cockrell Butterfly Center - I would go there every day if I could. I've also visited butterfly centers at Moody Gardens in Galveston and the zoo in San Antonio. Butterflies are stunningly beautiful creatures. I'm not a photographer by any means, but I've taken some good pictures at Cockrell.

The worst thing about nature? I have two: cockroaches, and tornadoes. I feel like I am slightly more in control of my cockroach phobia. My tornado phobia - not so much.

But let's get back to and end with the best thing about nature - butterflies!

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 5 - sound

What sound am I grateful for?

I probably sound like a pollyanna in these posts. Yesterday I said I was grateful just to be able to eat. Today I'm going to say I'm just grateful that I can hear. But it's true. I am especially glad that I can hear without having to deal with tinnitus. Tinnitus is a constant ringing or buzzing in your ears. I have an inner ear disorder than can cause tinnitus. Luckily I haven't developed it and hopefully I never will. There is no cure for tinnitus, and it can cause people severe mental distress.

I also worry because I've been to a few loud concerts this year, and loud music can destroy your hearing over time. I'm not going to stop going to concerts, but I should consider wearing earplugs.

I'm grateful to be able to hear music, and to hear beautiful singing voices, like the one my roommate has. :)

I don't always pay attention to sounds of nature like birds singing, but when I do it is a lovely sound.

But loud, abrupt sounds scare me because I have a strong startle reflex. I can get freaked out when the fire alarm goes off in our apartment or at work, or when an ambulance suddenly turns on a siren. I hate shouting and angry voices. But that's all a part of life. I can't keep stop those from happening.

Laughter is a beautiful sound.
I have to end the post on a positive note. :)

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 4 - food

What food am I grateful for?

It is not hyperbole for me to say I'm simply grateful that I can eat. I endured two difficult times in my life: when I was a teenager I couldn't chew properly for a few years, and as an adult I had swallowing problems for a few months. I still have to be careful about what I eat. No tough meats. No popcorn or foods that might scratch my throat. When I'm tired, stressed, or sick, I can still struggle with swallowing.

I'm not always comfortable eating in public, but I enjoy eating. I do not take it for granted. For much of my life I've been a rather picky and non-adventurous eater. But as I get older I'm more willing to try new foods.

At heart I'm a meat and potatoes girl, and by meat I mean chicken. I eat very little red meat. I also like fish and turkey. And since my roommate is a vegetarian, I've added tofu and vege burgers to my food repertoire.

Eating is a wonderful experience and I do not take it for granted.

librarianintx

Tree of Life Synagogue Massacre

It's been a week since eleven people were gunned down at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh.

A few friends have expressed their condolences to me. Their sentiments are directed me only because I am Jewish, not because I have family or friends who attend Tree of Life.

While I truly appreciate their words of comfort, I feel unsettled too, for two main reasons: 1) I am a lapsed Jew, and 2) I don't see this as only a tragedy for people of the Jewish faith.

I have not been to a Jewish service in a few years. I'm not sure how many. For awhile I was attending Saturday morning Shabbat services. Then I was only going on High Holy Days.

When I go to services, I sit in the back of the sanctuary. That is where I am most comfortable. The worshippers who were shot at Tree of Life we're sitting in the back. If I had been there, I likely would have been a victim.

Yes, this is a tragedy for people of the Jewish faith. Jews across the country and  around the world are in mourning, especially because this was obviously a hate crime. The *alleged* gunman *allegedly* told police that he was intending to kill Jews. So yes, that makes it personal to people who share my faith.

But this should be a tragedy for everyone. People were killed in a place of worship, a house of G-d, a haven of safety that opens it's doors and welcomes everyone. We should all mourn when any innocent person is murdered in a synagogue, a temple, a mosque, a church, etc. What happened at Tree of Life should be an international outrage. It should be personal to everyone who believes in and celebrates religious freedom and diversity.

We should all be united in grief.

librararianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 3 - Color

What color am I most grateful for?
Another easy one, and a topic that I have blogged about before.
PINK!
There is just something about the color, and always has been for me.
I'm drawn to it.
I feel pretty when I wear it.
I see something pink, and I want it
But I don't go overboard on pink.
Yes, I have a lot of pink clothes.
And pink jewelry.
But my bedroom is not decorated in pink.
Or my bathroom.
Or the kitchen.
I don't want to overdo to the point where I get tired of pink.
Pink is a beautiful color - all shades - but light pink is my favorite.

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 2 - technology

Day 2 - What technology are you grateful for?

Without a doubt, I am most grateful for my cell phone. I can't imagine life without it. I'm rarely far from my phone.

In the beginning I had a cell phone in case of emergencies. But it has become so much more than that. I do SO much on my phone:
check Facebook
check my e-mail
send texts
make calls
have video chats
make and manage lists
read e-books and audio books
keep book notes
watch shows on Netflix and network apps
watch YouTube videos
listen to music
play games
write blogs
buy stuff
pay bills
send money through PayPal
check my bank account
use the calculator app
use the magnifier app
use the calendar app
take / share pictures
do Internet searches

I do all of these activities on a small device that is easy for me to hold and carry. No bulky laptop or heavy tablet. Totally portable.

I have a wallet case that holds two credit cards, some cash, my ID card, and my medical card. No need to carry a purse unless I want to bring more stuff with me.When I go to concerts or other events where bags have to be checked, I usually just carry my phone.

I am never bored when I'm out and about. When I'm on long commutes to and from work, or bus trips on weekends, I can read, listen to music, or watch downloaded Netflix shows or play certain games that don't require WiFi. If it's a nice day, I can sit on my patio at my apartment and watch network shows, YouTube videos, read, or play games that require WiFi.

My phone gives me so much freedom, flexibility, and keeps me occupied .
It keeps my mind active, stimulates my creativity, and helps me stay organized. 
There is always something I can be doing on my phone.

And by the way, my phone was under $300, and I pay about $20 a month on a group plan with friends for data, texting, and talk. All of my apps except Netflix and Spotify are free. I usually buy discounted books on my Nook and Kindle apps, and my audio books are free from my work.


There have been many amazing and important inventions in and around my lifetime.
Cell phones have likely been one of the most meaningful and helpful to me.
My phone means the world to me!

librarianintx

30 Days of Gratefulness - Day 1 - smells

Just read about this today, so I'm a day behind. We'll see if I have time to write every day. I'm not convinced, but I'm going to give it a shot.

Day 1 - What smells are you grateful for?

I don't have time to use lotion, but I like body washes. Some people think they're not good for your skin. I hope they aren't harmful, because I enjoy using them. They make me feel fresh and clean. I use strawberry scented conditioner on my hair, and have received compliments on how good my hair smells. :)

My two favorite body wash scents are orange, and warm vanilla sugar. I also use warm vanilla sugar plug ins in my room. Great smells!

I may be weird, but I also like the smell of cooked onions.Yum!

librarianintx

Boiling water

Odd title for a blog post, right?
But my fellow citizens of Austin will immediately understand.

For six days we were under a boil water notice, due to flooding in the hill country that caused problems with the water filtration system in the city. We could bathe in the water, but not drink it or cook with it. There was some confusion about whether it was safe to run the dishwasher, the washing machine, or even to wash our hands with tap water. We were instructed to hand wash dishes in hot, soapy tap water, then rinse them in boiled or bottled water. Definitely ice machines were out for the duration.

This was a hardship for everyone - individuals, schools, businesses, grocery stores. Restaurants couldn't provide ice or fountain drinks. Some establishments served food in plastic, to-go containers as an extra precaution. Schools covered water fountains and high schools didn't provide a salad bar option. Grocery stores quickly sold out of bottled water, and had to scramble to bring in cases from other locations. People were buying flats of bottled water, not knowing how long the situation would last.

Luckily it was only six days. And that is the point of this post. It was only six days, but people were complaining like it was months. Many had trouble looking on the positive side. At least we could bathe. At least we could boil the water to make it safe. We didn't have to walk miles to a water site, carry jugs for miles, then boil it, and hope it was safe. Yes, grocery stores did sell out of bottled water, so access at times was difficult, but they replenished their stock fairly quickly. And I didn't hear of any price gouging. In fact, one grocery store was selling gallon jugs of water for 78 cents, which sounds very reasonable to me. The city also set up multiple water distribution sites, so low income and people with disabilities didn't have to pay for water. It took a day or two I think before those sites were operational, but at least the city considered people who couldn't pay for bottled water, or who couldn't boil water safely.

It was only six days. We all survived as far as I know. I did hear of a few people coming down with gastrointestinal illnesses, but I don't think it has been determined that tap water was the cause.

It was only six days. Flint, Michigan has been dealing with dangerous water FOR YEARS.

It was an inconvenience. It was a concern. It was a hassle. But we made it through.

It was only six days.

And I now appreciate clean tap water and the city water filtration system.
I don't take it for granted. 

librarianintx