Interesting Observation

Something random that I thought about this morning. So much of our behavior is learned behavior. We often learn to fear things or situations at a young age, and it can be difficult to overcome those fears. For some, fears are never overcome. For others, they are able to change their frame of mind. Why can some people do it and other people can't?

Two examples in my life that I think are quite fascinating:
I love butterflies, but I greatly fear cockroaches.
I think squirrels are adorable, but I don't like rats.

How different are butterflies and cockroaches? Both are insects. Both can fly. Both have beady little eyes. Now, its true, butterflies are brightly colored, lovely, and fragile, while cockroaches are not attractive and are tougher creatures. But why can't I change my mindset? I see a cockroach, and my mind instantly reacts with fear. I still remember being terrorized by my older cousin, being chased into the bathroom, him turning the light off and putting a large, live cockroach down the back of my shirt. I remember the apartment complex I lived in with my mother and sister after my dad passed away, where large roaches would squeeze in through the front door. I could hear them scratching in my closet at night, and I even woke up once with one on my pillow. The stuff of nightmares, right? I still have a terrible fight or flight response when I see a cockroach. I haven't been able to get past my fear. But I have the opposite reaction when I see a butterfly. Its all about love and joy and admiration when I see a butterfly. Why can't I change my mindset, my emotions, my physical reactions, and feel no negativity when I see a cockroach?

The example of a squirrel versus a rat is not as extreme, but still comparable. To me a squirrel is cute, fun to watch, interesting, etc. Like rats, squirrels have tails, fur, and beady eyes. Both are rodents, aren't they? Yes, they are, I just googled the answer. :) I'm not as scared of rats, but that's because I've had much less negative experiences with rats. In fact, I've had some positive interactions with rats, because I have a friend who used to raise pet rats. So I've held rats and talked to them and hugged them (as much as you can hug a rat) Still, I'm convinced that if a rat ran across my kitchen floor I would scream and run out of the apartment. But why? What did the rat do to me? Did it bite me, attack me, chase me, harm me in any way? Likely no. So why do I fear them? In the case of rats, I think society's views are one reason. In the case of cockroaches, it's definitely learned behavior because of experiences. My mom has always been afraid of cockroaches as well.

I don't like being so afraid of roaches. Fear takes my power away. It makes me weak. It makes me feel small and stupid and down on myself. I've had a fear of cockroaches pretty much my whole life. Yet I've never been harmed by a roach, except the emotional toll I put on myself due to my fear. So when will I learn that the only damage has basically been self-inflicted? Can I change my way of thinking? Can I eradicate the emotional and physical reactions I have when I encounter a roach? If I see a roach and think calm, beautiful thoughts often enough, can I change the learned behavior?

librarianintx

My Comment About Facebook

I want to clarify something I said in my previous post. I made a comment about Facebook being mindless. Or at least that's how I think people will interpret it. But I don't think Facebook, or any social media, is mindless. I am a fan of social media. I think Facebook and other social media are important tools in our society. What my intention was in the comment is that sometimes I spend too much time mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. I feel I could be making better use of the day doing something productive like reading or writing. Facebook plays a role in my life, and I have no plans to give it up. What I would like to do is curtail the time I spend there. I want my time with Facebook to be quality versus quantity.

librarianintx

This morning

This morning was all about not wasting time. Not a single precious second.

First accomplishment of the morning: I got out of bed ten minutes earlier than usual! Good job! I shouldn't admit that ten minutes early is ten minutes after my first of three alarms goes off. It's still an accomplishment!

First disappointment of the day: Even though I got up ten minutes early, I was only ready five minutes early.
But five minutes is five minutes! It's amazing how much you can achieve in five minutes.

First new routine: Taking my vitamins before I leave. The concern here is that the half a glass of water I consume with the vitamins will result in an uncomfortable need to urinate during the as-yet unknown duration of my morning ride to work. But I take a chance and drink the water. Update: All went well in that department.

Second new routine: Exercising during the wait for my ride to arrive. I have tried various ways to make good use of the time that Metro Access keeps me waiting during their frustrating thirty minute window. Journaling hasn't worked. I can't get on the computer because I have to be looking out the window. Checking Facebook is mindless enough, but that's why I want to find a more productive activity. Exercising might be the solution. It's something I can do while still obsessively watching the parking lot. Being ready five minutes early doesn't feel like an accomplishment when you end up standing at the window for sometimes as long as thirty minutes, or more. I only did  three lunges on each leg, one leg lift on each side for ten reps, and ten toe lifts. Didn't want to overdue on the first morning. I can do more later.

Second accomplishment of the morning: I was able to make good use of the hour-long ride by reading in the car. Thankfully the headache and nausea that often accompany such an endeavor decided to stay at bay this morning.  I could have listened to my audio book, which would have minimized the chance for illness. But I wasn't in the mood for hearing about the search for the bodies of the Romanov Imperialist family.

Second disappointment of the morning: While my inner ear symptoms didn't impede me, the flaming sunrise did, but luckily only at times. I managed to get to page 34 of The Fundamentals of Caregiving that I'm reading on the Nook app on my phone. That would be even more of a cause for celebration if I knew what page I started on when I entered the vehicle, but hey, I'll take it. And hopefully I managed to close my eyes often enough that I'm not any closer to cataracts than I was before I stubbornly refused to wear my non-prescription sunglasses.

So I arrived at work feeling at least somewhat accomplished: I read, I exercised, I took my vitamins, I got a head start on my daily water consumption without a bathroom emergency.

Success!

librarianintx

Muslim Day at the Capitol in Austin

There is so much negativity in the news, with Trump's immigration ban, Supreme Court pick, and horrible nominees for Cabinet positions. So here is something to smile about, to feel good about, to rejoice in. Two years ago the police had to be called in because of so many people protesting the biennial Muslim Day at the Capitol.

This year, approximately 1000 people turned out - not to protest - but to form a human chain of protection around the Muslim people who came to the Capitol to meet with legislators about the issues that matter to them. I wasn't able to be there, but here are some pictures from the event.

I heard that there was one lone protester this year. One protester, and about 1000 supporters and allies.

You done us proud again, Austin.

librarianintx