Survivor Finale - My Thoughts

Well, who saw that coming?

I didn't.

Congratulations Erika - The Little Player that Could! (I'm little too, just saying...)

I'm not surprised that Ricard didn't make it to final three. I knew if he lost a challenge he would be out. He still fascinates me, but his comments before he was voted out...mmmm. Arrogance or self-confidence? You be the judge.

The fire making challenge was epic! Heather, you had it! I don't know why your rope didn't break. Even though there was no path to victory for her, I was inspired by her story of overcoming her fear of water. I love witnessing transformations on this show.

I was very surprised by the jury's lack of love for Xander. I don't think the viewers felt the same way. I think he's a fine young man with a good heart (plus great abs and dreamy man curls) :)

At the same time, I am pleased that Erika was voted Sole Survivor. She won two individual immunity challenges, found an advantage at the penultimate challenge, and she flipped the game when given the opportunity. She is a worthy winner.

librarianintx 

Week of Gratitude Day 5

Today's gratitude is simple. I am grateful to have gratitude back in my life. I lost my way for awhile. I couldn't feel grateful. I was depressed and isolated and feeling sorry for myself. Gratitude is beneficial for your brain, your body, your soul. I'm so pleased to re-discover my gratitude. 

Thank you to ERS for this week of Gratitude. 

"It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful"

Brother David Steindl-Rast

librarianintx 

Week of Gratitude Day 4

Today, and every day, I am grateful for family and friends. The pandemic was a horrible time of physical separation and isolation, but I am grateful that we all endured, and I am beginning to spend time with people again. It is so meaningful to have conversations, laugh, and make memories with people I care about in person again.. For a year and three months I was only able to interact with most people by a phone or computer screen. At least we had technology to maintain connections. During the Spanish flu pandemic, people didn't have such luxury. I am very grateful that my friendships are ongoing, and my family is intact. Well, almost  I lost a very close friend who was family to me during the pandemic and that has been very difficult. As I go through the grief process, I try to focus on gratitude for the time we had together and the memories we made. No one ever leaves us. We carry them in our hearts and minds always.

librarianintx 

Week of Gratitude Day 3

Today I am grateful for medication. Some of the medicines I'm on are somewhat controversial. I am grateful that I have a team of doctors that work with me to make medical decisions that are right for me. They know I have health anxiety and struggle to make decisions, and they are patient with me. I am a member of a few health-related groups on Facebook, and every day I read about how much some people are suffering with certain conditions.  My health is not where I want it to be, but for my age and given my various conditions, I understand that I am actually doing pretty well. I am committed to exercising and doing as much as I can for myself in hopes that I can remain independent. Every day I strive to eat well, take all my medicine, exercise, reduce my stress, get enough sleep, and find balance in my life. Some days I'm more successful than others.. The medications are working towards giving me a quality of life that hopefully outweigh the small risks they are associated with.

librarianintx 

Tonight's Surivor Finale

Many people have expressed displeasure about this season of Survivor, but I have enjoyed it. I thought the twists were cool. And for the most part, I like the players. Evie was my favorite this season.

Of the remaining contestants, I don't dislike any of them. The only one who doesn't deserve to win in my opinion is Heather. I think most viewers would agree with me. I don't envision any path to victory for her.

I am rooting for Ricard. I know, a lot of people don't like him. I get that. But he is a very good player. And he fascinates me. I love his hair too, both the curls and the man bun. :)

Having said that, I am also a fan of Xander and Erika. I would be very happy to see either one of them named Sole Survivor. I think both of them have played hard enough and done enough in the game to earn the title. To a lesser extent, I think DeShawn has as well.

We'll see what happens. I think Ricard or Xander have the best chance at winning. But Ricard has to win the challenges in order to win the show. The others are definitely gunning for him. One loss, and he's out.

Looking forward to it!

librarianintx 

Week of Gratitude Day 2

Now that I participated in the morning zoom gratitude session with our Employee Retirement System, I will share two reasons to be grateful today. 

First of all, I am grateful to Joe, the speaker, for sharing his powerful story of addiction and recovery. Joe's vulnerability, strength, and truth affected all of us. We are glad you are still here, Joe. 

What I was going to talk about was my gratitude for phone games. Weird thing to be grateful for? Maybe. But during this time of increased anxiety, I can concentrate on phone games more than reading or other hobbies that I enjoy. Certain phone games can get me into a flow state, which makes the anxiety disappear. My favorite games during this time has been Triple Tile (a matching game), Minesweeper, and a new one my roommate told me about: Block Puzzle. I also enjoy Boggle, Yahtzee, Mind Games, Lexathon, Brain Lab, and several word games. Oh, and I am FINALLY learning how to play Sudoku. The phone version of Sudoku is much better than the workbook I bought, because it lets you know right away when you have messed up, and you have the opportunity to correct your mistake. I have solved an easy phone Sudoku puzzle in as little as five minutes with no errors. I haven't been brave enough to try an intermediate level puzzle yet. I also enjoy Words with Friends.

librarianintx

Week of Gratitude Day One

I am participating in a week long gratitude challenge.

This is day one.

I am grateful for my appetite. Most people have no trouble eating. But I lost my appetite a few months ago, and it was a very difficult time. I have lost my appetite before,  but this time was worse than ever. Not only did I have no desire to eat, no hunger most of the time, but the act of eating was such a chore. I didn't even want my favorite foods. It would take me literally hours to eat a meal. A bite of food would expand and spread in my mouth, and I'd have to drink something to get it to go down. Dry foods were the worst. The easiest foods for me to eat were ones that I didn't have to chew: yogurt,  mashed potatoes,  applesauce,  and hot cereal.

I am underweight, so worrying about my nonexistent appetite only made it more difficult for me to eat. It was a vicious cycle, and a dark time in my life.

So I am very grateful that my appetite is mostly back. I have physical hunger, food tastes good again, and I look forward to eating. Dear friends gave me an Instant Pot, and I am excited to try recipes. The first thing I cooked was American goulash, one of my favorite comfort foods. I am a big fan of leftovers, and making enough food to freeze some of it. I have been savoring my goulash leftovers for nearly a week. So delicious!

Weight can be a struggle. Some people need to lose. Some people need to gain. I'm trying not to focus on my weight. I'm simply grateful to have my appetite back.

librarianintx 

A Good Day

Today was a good day.

I had two opportunities to be social.

I talked to people - in person, not through a computer screen.

I laughed with co-workers, and talked about painful times too.

I enjoyed a holiday lights drive thru with friends.

I petted precious dogs.

I hugged sweet friends. 

I got back a piece of what the pandemic has stripped from me.

It was a very good day.

librarianintx 

My Thoughts on the Top 4 of DWTS

I wish I had had more time to write recaps.

This has been one of the best seasons of Dancing With the Stars. It has been so competitive with so many good dancers.

So the question is, have the voters been correct this season? Does this final four comprise the best dancers of this season?

Not in my opinion.

My Top 4 would be Olivia, Jojo, Amanda, and Melora. But having said that, I am interested to see what Daniella and Iman will do.

I am very upset that Olivia and Melora are out of the competition. I think America got it wrong. But I still love the show.

Who do I want to win?

Either Jojo or Amanda.

Who will win?

Hopefully Jojo.

But I fear it could be Cody.

He has a very dedicated fan base.

I think he's a great guy.

But he's not the best dancer this season. 

librarianintx 

What I've Learned from Watching Baseball

I've learned about teamwork

I've learned about working toward a common goal. 

But mostly I've learning about perseverance, about never giving up. 

It can be two outs, bottom of the ninth, the other team is leading - and you can still come back and win the game. 

Never give up. 

Always believe...

In your team

And in yourself

librarianintx

Turning the Day Around

Recently, I learned about the concept of turning the day around. 

It's simple. When you're having a bad day, don't automatically assume that the entire day will not go well. Believe that the day can improve, and do what you can to make it happen. 

Believing in this concept, and putting it into practice, can be a game changer. 

Many times I wake up not feeling well - physically, emotionally, or both. I dread the day, thinking that I will always feel the way I did when I woke up, and what a struggle I will have to endure. But then I keep telling myself, "You can always turn the day around." And often the day does improve. Or maybe it gets better for awhile and then takes another downturn. But at least there were some good moments. 

Turning the day around ties into gratitude as well. No matter how bad you perceive your day to be, you can always find at least one thing to be grateful for. Sometimes it takes some looking, but there is always something. 

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Halloween Nite 10/25/21

I'm trying to get back on track with recaps. 

So I'm starting with tonight's Halloween episode. 

I'm not a Halloween fan. It's probably my least favorite holiday. 

But I can say I was a big fan of this episode of Dancing with the Stars. 

Tonight for me there were two transformative performances. Both of them were contemporary dances. 

Dance #1: Iman & Daniella

This was me watching this dance:

OMG!

No way!

Holy crap!

Ahhhh!

WOW!

Unbelievable!

OMG!

No way!

Shut up!

What. Just. Happened.

Me standing and applauding.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT ON DANCING WITH THE STARS. 

Sorry for my shouting. But it was truly groundbreaking. 

I agree with Bruno. Daniella choreographed a masterpiece. We will remember that dance for a long time.

I did not see that coming. The originality. The musicality. The unbelievable lifts and tricks. It was truly a thrilling routine.

I'm shouting again: THAT NUMBER DEMANDED SO MUCH TRUST AND PARTNERING. And Iman rose to the challenge!! I am SO impressed!!

Derek knows me so well. I've already watched this dance five times. 

Thank you for the moment, Daniella and Iman. 

This is why I watch this show. 

Dance #2: Jimmie & Emma

When I saw this dance, it was the routine of the night for me. Then came Iman and Daniella. But Jimmie and Emma were amazing in their own right. Their dance was also a moment that will live on in Dancing with the Stars history. It was so emotional, so powerful. Was it perfect? No. But almost. I gave the dance a 10 because it was so special.  I loved the use of sign language. I loved the musicality even with the quiet music. The lifts were beautiful. It was a gorgeous  performance. I am so happy for Jimmie and Emma. Their connection is so strong. 

When it comes to the other dances, I would say that the ladies better watch out, because the guys are upping their game. Cody had a fire tonight that I was very happy to see. The Miz was fierce and had good attack. I'm not saying at all that the women did a bad job. Jojo and Amanda are still strong contenders. And don't count out my girl Olivia - she has fallen in love with dancing, and she is going to fight for every score and every vote. But Melora played it too safe tonight. And Suni's expressiveness was much better, but she still has work to do. I am very glad the judges saved her.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode. Thank you for a great nite of dancing. 

librarianintx

Madonna

Yesterday I watched Madonna's new concert film "Madame X." 

I am not familiar with her newer music. 

What really impresses me about Madonna is how she is constantly evolving. 

Some artists make the same genre of music for decades. 

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. 

Some people prefer to stay in their own lane. 

And they still make good music that people enjoy.  

But I like that Madonna is always changing and growing. She has learned how to play the guitar, and recently, the piano. She collaborates with many different singers and musicians. She has her finger on the pulse of what's hot at the moment, or she invents the newest craze. Remember when her "country glam" style shocked us? She rocked a cowboy hat before Lady Gaga (no shade at Gaga, she is one of my favorite humans).

My favorite parts of the concert were her Malawi and Portuguese-inspired numbers. Four of her children are from Malawi. She was living in Lisbon at the time the concert was filmed to support her son David's passion for soccer. She sang a Fado song during the show. Fado is a genre of music that originated in Lisbon in the early 19th century. As Madonna learns about various cultures and incorporates them into her music and her stage performances, she in turn educates as well as entertains her fans. I learned about Fado because I watched the Madonna concert. 

 librarianintx

 

 

Helen Keller

I am SO excited about the Helen Keller news recently.

Tomorrow night there is an episode of American Masters on PBS about Helen. I have heard the show will at least in part focus on her suffrage activities.

Then last week news broke about an upcoming biopic called "Helen & Teacher". This movie will NOT be a remake of "The Miracle Worker." It will cover the time when Helen was a student at Radcliff College, and Anne Sullivan was dating John Macy. The actress playing Helen, Millicent Simmonds, is deaf - hooray for representation!

Can you believe that a conspiracy theory is circulating on Tik Tok that Helen was not a real person, or if she was, she did not accomplish all that she did as a person who was deaf-blind. Get educated, young people. Watch American Masters. Google Helen Keller. Go to the library. Fix your ignorance. And while you're at it, learn about Haben Girma, the first deaf-blind woman to graduate from Harvard. And Rebecca Alexander - author, fitness instructor, psychotherapist, and extreme athlete who is losing her sight and hearing due to Usher Syndrome. They are two of many accomplished individuals who happen to be deaf-blind.

librarianintx

Week 3 - Britney Nite!

It's Britney Nite, bitch!

Even though the show didn't use Britney's actual music (sucks, but I understand the money involved), I still thoroughly enjoyed the episode. LOL for Tyra rocking the Britney looks (and Witney!).

Two transformative dances:

1) Olivia Jade & Val: She's been very good so far this season, but this dance was NEXT LEVEL! How did she only get 8's for this Tango? Tragic! This dance had everything - excitement, musicality, passion, chemistry, did I mention that she and Val were all kinds of HOT?!?! I loved every second of this routine and have watched it repeatedly. 

2) Melora & Artem - Okay, I understand that Melora's breakdown in the video before the dance made the routine look even better, but c'mon, she was great in this Cha Cha! She was on point, radiant, and had great hip action and leg extension. Artem's choreography was perfectly in sync with the music. 

Two continued standouts:

1) Amanda & Alan - Yes, Amanda CAN do Latin! Her musicality is off the chart, and I love how happy and seemingly carefree she is when she dances. 

2) JoJo & Jenna - A groundbreaking Argentine Tango, and these two ladies did not disappoint. I think it is fascinating that JoJo, the celebrity, takes the lead in these dances, and she succeeds! The lifts were great, and I was pleased to see nice body contact. 

Two dances that were not the best but I enjoyed the hell out of them:

1) Jimmie & Emma - Okay, it was a little too hip hop for a Salsa, but it worked for me. Very entertaining, and I thought the lifts were good (raspberry to Carrie Ann and Len). I loved his hot pink outfit too. Yay Bruno for giving this dance an 8!

2) The Miz & Witney - The Miz's hips could have been better in this Salsa, but likely only Len was looking at his hips - the rest of us were oggling his chest (close your mouth and find your chair, Bruno). The lifts were very exciting, his partnering skills were strong, and yeah...his chest again. 

When it comes to the bottom two, I agree with Len - I would have saved Christine & Pasha. But it's a tough season; everyone is good now that Martin has left (sorry Martin).

librarianintx

Capital Metro's Pickup Service

Yesterday I had an opportunity to try Pickup - Capital Metro's same day, on demand ride service. 

The Pickup service includes 12 zones I think in Austin and surrounding cities such as Leander, Manor and Pflugerville. You can only travel within a zone, not from one zone to another. It is app based, but they have a phone number too. The cost is $1.25 per ride, but this month all Capital Metro services are free. 

On Friday after work I scheduled my COVID booster appointment.  The Walgreens by my apartment didn't have any times available, so I went to the CVS at Parmer and Dessau.

I arrived at the CVS before 3:00; my appointment was at 4:15. I was so relieved that they were able to take me early. I had already filled out the paperwork online,  so getting the shot was a breeze. I waited less than five minutes.

So I was finished before 3:15 and my ride window to go home didn't start until 4:45. I did not want to have to hang around CVS for 90 minutes. I considered getting an Uber. But then I thought to myself,  I should try Pickup. It's free this month. But I didn't know if the CVS and my apartment were in the same zone.

I put the two addresses into the app, and score! They are in the same zone! I set up the ride, and 8 minutes later a converted Metro Access bus pulls up. It's a shared ride service, so we picked up one person, but then it was my turn.

Using Pickup was a very good experience. Now I know I could use it to go to HEB, or back to CVS. Having a same day transportation option is awesome. And it's cheaper than Uber. I just wish I could travel farther, like going to and from work, or a doctor appointment. The other downside is that for now Pickup is not available on the weekend. 

librarianintx 

Big Brother Finale - My Thoughts

Late as usual. 

But congratulations Xavier!!

Thank goodness you are the winner of Big Brother!

I definitely think Xavier is a worthy winner. I especially liked how humble he was, thanking the Cookout and the other houseguests, and saying that they all made history.

And then you have the opposite of humble, Big D, who for me was the biggest disappointment of the season. I laughed out loud when he tried to tell the jury that he carried X to the finale. Oh please. I was relieved that he didn't get a single vote, and he didn't win favorite houseguest either. 

As for Tiffany winning favorite houseguest - not a fan of that. I agree that she deserves recognition for coming up with the duos concept of the Cookout, which was a big reason for the ultimate success of the alliance. But she also nearly ruined the plan by getting greedy. I don't think she should be rewarded for that. I would have liked to see Azah or Hannah win favorite houseguest. 

I find it very interesting that everyone professed so much love for each other at the finale, yet five of them had such significant secrets about who they really are - X, Big D, Claire, Hannah, and Brittini. Such a fascinating game this is. Crazy, but I enjoy it.

librarianintx

Big Brother - My Thoughts on the Top Three

Wow! What a difference a few days makes. And what a disappointing top three this is turning out to be. A final two of Xavier and Kyland would have been epic. A few days ago, Xavier and Kyland were in my opinion the two people who most deserved to be in the finale. I understand that Kyland was blindsided, but his reaction, and the way he talked to Xavier about Xavier's nephew, was uncalled for. That was probably the most uncomfortable eviction I have ever seen on Big Brother. I was afraid they were going to have to call security to break up Kyland and Xavier.

When it comes to Big D, unfortunately I have lost any respect I had for him. The way he treated Azah was also uncalled for. Big D has carried Azah through this whole game, really? I'm sorry, but honestly, neither Big D or Azah deserve to be in the final two. Xavier pulled off a great Survivor blindside, and he will go to the final two with a contestant who does not deserve to be there, which will likely guarantee his win. As long as there is not a nightmare scenario, where Big D and Azah end up as the final two. Please no. It will be embarrassing to see either one plead their case to the jury that they should win this season.

I understand that there had to be drama, and that's why we saw Big D struggle with his decision. But his comments made him look so bad. I wish X had taken Big D's power away, and let Azah make the big move. Azah had nothing to lose at that point.

So now who is my vote for favorite houseguest? Little D I guess. I'm so disappointed by Big D and Azah. And Kyland.

librarianintx

Flow State

I watched a webinar for work about flow states.

In simple terms, a flow state is an activity that you get so immersed in, you can lose track of time.

It is about embracing an experience. 

Flow states are beneficial for mental health and help keep your brain active.

Flow states can provide a welcome break from anxiety and depression, and are tools to boost motivation, confidence, and a positive self-image.

Flow states can be work or school related, or extracurricular.

What are some of your flow states?

I'll list a few of mine:

Reading a good book

Games like sudoku, brain age, and word games

Journaling / blogging

Making Shutterfly books

Making Power Point presentations for work

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Season 30, Episode 1 9/20/21

Season 3-0!!! Wow! How did that happen?

SO happy the ballroom is back! And what a premiere! These contestants can dance!! I am amazed!

I'm not going to go through and talk about every contestant, because especially tonight that would be redundant. Fourteen of the fifteen stars all showed promise to go far in the competition. That has never happened as far as I can recall. 

My top three are all ladies, but likely not the three that you are expecting to me to say, based on judges scores. 

I have chosen Amanda Kloots, Melora Hardin, and Olivia Jade as my top three of the night, with Melanie C as a close fourth. 

So why didn't I choose Suni and JoJo, who got two of the highest scores? 

With regard to Suni, there is no doubt that she would win the technical score of the episode. Suni's Jive was flawless when it came to steps and footwork, but it was lacking in entertainment. Derek said it best: "less precision, more expression." I find this an issue with several of the gymnasts that have been on the show. Their performances are often close to perfect with regard to technique, but they sometimes lack personality and showmanship.  

JoJo and Jenna made history as the first same sex partnership on DWTS, and I am here for it! They did not make my top three because I found their routine to be over the top and manic. A Quickstep is supposed to be fast, but that was like a Quickstep on steroids. It was all a little too much - the music, the lights, it was very hectic. I think they both had too much adrenaline, and that caused Jenna to slip. No, that was not choreographed. I was surprised that picky Carrie Ann gave her highest score to a couple that had a partner who fell. So I am all for J&J, I am excited that history was made, but I can't put them in my top 3 tonight. 

The men were not bad (all but one anyway); they just were not as strong as the women. But I see much potential in most of them. 

Some of my favorite things about nite one:

The music.

The matchy/matchy, colorful costumes.

The excitement and enthusiasm. 

The audience is back!

How strong the partnerships are, especially for week one. 

Derek's bitchy comments to Len. 

And Bruno being Bruno, standing up after every routine to emphasize his critiques. 

Added bonus: Tyra didn't annoy me. 

My only pet peeve: Couples who are dating should not be paired together. I think that COULD give Sharna and Brian Austin Green an unfair advantage. Also, Sharna should not be a blond. She is beautiful no matter what, but I think she is extra stunning as a redhead. 

That's all I've got dance fans.

Much love and excitement for this season!

librarianintx

 

Emmys 2021

It was an up and down night at the Emmys for me. Happy and sad.

Happy for the Crown. Sad for Pose and This is Us.

Happy for Olivia Coleman. Sad for MJ Rodriguez.

Happy for Josh O'Conner. Sad for Billy Porter and Sterling K Brown.

Yay for Ru Paul's Drag Race!

Yay for Gillian Anderson!

Congrats to Debbie Allen for her Governor's Award.

For the most part I adored the fashion. Lots of color and flattering silhouettes.

My pet peeve: long speeches. If the music is playing, that means you're out of time. Wrap it up. You know you don't have all the time you want to talk. Plan accordingly. You might have the most amazing acceptance speech ever created, but when you go over, you are potentially taking time away from another winner, and making the show longer. Don't be selfish. Even if you think there's no way you'll win, write a speech and practice it. The audience, your fellow nominees, and everyone behind the scenes will thank you. The only person who deserved to complain about the music was Debbie Allen. Special award recipients should not be "played off" unless their speech is excessive. Hers was not IMO.

My second pet peeve: Conan O'Brian. His first grab for attention was mildly amusing. Crashing Stephen Colbert's acceptance speech was overkill, and super annoying. I bet the guy he was frantically hugging wanted to punch him. Conan, dude, try some meditation or something. You were too extra last night.

Okay, sorry, one more thing. CBS had promised they would make the stage accessible by putting in a ramp. They didn't. As far as I know, there were no nominees that are wheelchair users. But you don't have to be a wheelchair user to benefit from a ramp. What about all the people in those long gowns? What about the older nominees and presenters? What about Paralympian and double amputee Jessica Long? Stages should be accessible at all events, and I'm not talking about some ramp or lift in the backstage area.

Okay. Rant done. Overall, I did enjoy the show. Cedric was entertaining.

librarianintx

Big Brother - My Thoughts on the Top 4

I'm still one episode behind.

I just watched the second double eviction nite. 

Yay for Tiffany being the first member of the cookout to leave the party!

As far as Azah's decision to nominate Xavier and Hannah - well, if her hope was to have a woman win BB, she blew it with those nominations. Did she really think that one of the men was going to vote out their own so she, Azah, could break the tie? C'mon! Putting Hannah on the block was as good as sending her home right then and there. If neither she nor Hannah won POV, Hannah was going home. Period. 

But of course I could see Azah's dilemma. She and Big D have been tight since Day One. She could not put him on the block. And she made a promise to Ky that she did not feel she could break. So X and Hannah had to go up. 

But it all worked out fine for what I wanted. From a personality standpoint, X, Ky, Azah, and Big D are the final four that I'm happiest with. Xavier and Kyland should be the final two, and Azah and Big D should be two people in the running for America's favorite houseguest. If I were thinking about who should be the final four based on how good they are at playing the game - I would probably say X, Ky, Tiff, and SB. Little D was also a good player, and very likeable. I would not be disappointed to see Little D win favorite houseguest. Hannah came on strong towards the end, but for too much of the game she was in the background in my opinion. 

librarianintx

Big Brother - My Thoughts on the Cookout alliance

First of all, this post won't be too spoilery, because I am still three episodes behind. But I wanted to say something about the Cookout Alliance. And what I want to say is, congratulations to the Cookout! They have made history by having the final six contestants all be persons of color.

I know the Cookout is controversial. Why does the game have to be about race this year? The thing is, there would be no need for the cookout if Big Brother did not have a lack of diversity in the seasons, and when there were minority members in a season, they were usually picked off early in the game. That is why the Cookout was created, and I for one am very glad that it was successful. See a need. Be the change.

I give a lot of credit to the success of the cookout to players like Aza and Xavier, who had to sacrifice their personal games in order to keep the cookouts safe. I am relieved that the Cookout survived considering how much Tiffany try to destroy it with her selfish game play.

So who should win and who do I want to win? I think Xavier should win, and I would be very happy but that outcome. I hope that either Aza or Big D win favorite houseguest. Based on challenges and gameplay, I do not think either of them deserve to win, but I would love to see them win favorite houseguest. They have been so great to watch this season, funny and caring and dedicated to the Cookout.

librarianintx

Not Being Ok

There is a certain peace that comes with being able to admit that you're not okay and having the bravery to share that with others.

The struggle to be okay is often the problem and not the solution.

Just admit it.

To yourself and others.

Make peace with your situation.

It really can help you feel better.

And it will remind you that you won't always feel this way.

Life does get better.

And remember that self-care strategies really can help.

Drink some water.

Eat some protein.

Take a shower.

Get out in nature.

Get lost in an activity.

Find your purpose.

Connect with someone.

The people who care about you will understand. 

You might find that someone you care about is struggling too.

Helping them will help you.

No one is okay all the time.

Everyone goes through something.

And then they get better.

You will too.

librarianintx 

The Olympics

Originally this post was going to be about gold versus silver medals - how the media seems to love to say, "So and so lost the gold medal" instead of saying, "They won the silver medal." And this post is about that. Because that is important. These athletes train for years for this event, or series of events, that only happens once every few years. Many of them never win a single medal. But they can still say proudly that they made it to the Olympics. Maybe they finished eighth, tenth, fifteenth in their sport or event. But that is tenth..in...the...world! They are all elite athletes, and they should all be celebrated for their accomplishments. Of course everyone wants to win gold. Everyone wants to be at the top. But silver, bronze, and even finishes off the podium should receive recognition and deserve praise. Michelle Kwan said it best: "I didn't lose the gold. I WON the silver." 

I have seen so much good sportsmanship at these Olympics and it has truly warmed my heart. Gymnastic teams congratulating each other, hugs all around. Even hugs and high fives for a member of another team just for completing a routine. Swimmers reaching across the ropes in the pool to embrace, raising each other's arms in the air. Two male high jumpers immediately agreeing to share gold when their efforts resulted in a tie. The athletes come from different countries, they have different customs and traditions, but they can all speak the language of respect and admiration for hard work and accomplishments. 

And now let's talk about Simone Biles for a minute. Simone Biles, the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) of female gymnastics. Simone Biles, who had so much pressure going into these Olympics because she is the GOAT, had the intelligence and the inner fortitude to step back, to withdraw, so she did not risk physically injuring herself or keeping her teammates out of medal contention. And she has received some flak from her decision. But you know who hasn't criticized her decision? Anyone who has ever been a gymnast. Because they get it. Gymnasts understand the stress and the rigorous training and the "twisties" - when your mind and your body are out of whack and you don't know where your body is when you try to land and you risk serious damage to your body. They get it. 

What Simone did should be a lesson for us all. Listen to what your mind and body are telling you. Do what is right and safe for you. Make decisions that are in your best interest. The haters will hate. But the people who matter will love you and be thankful that you are alive and in one piece. And the example of self-care and mental health that you displayed will inspire millions, and likely save some lives in the process. That is what Simone did at these Olympic games. 

librarianintx

Exercise Works

I have seen people say that if you have osteoporosis, exercise can be beneficial in maintaining your bone density, but won't improve it. Only medicine will regrow bone. 

I hope my story and test results prove otherwise.  

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis about 15 years ago. In addition to being on birth control and now hormone replacement therapy, I also was on Forteo for two years and I have had one Reclast infusion. So I am on medication to treat the condition. 

During 2019, I exercised, but I was not consistent with arm exercises and strength training. I was focused on walking and balance exercises. My arm exercises are hard for me, and it was easy for me to skip them and say, "Maybe I will do them tomorrow."

In 2020, I had a bone density test just before COVID hit. I had slight gains in my hips, but lost a bit of bone in my arms. So I made a commitment to do my arm exercises every day. I have a set of one pound pink dumbbells (of course they are pink), and I do various exercises for about five minutes per day. Plus I do aspects of daily living that use my arms, like unloading the dishwasher, washing dishes, taking out the trash, etcetera.

I was successful in my goal. I did my arm exercises every day except when I got my COVID vaccines. I was the most consistent I've ever been with exercise during the pandemic, because I was working from home, and had both the time and the energy to work out.

I had a bone density test in April of this year. The results were a big surprise to me and my doctor. The bone density in my arms increased by 6.2 percent!! That is a significant increase. I was so pleased. Because the test results were good and I did not show any decline, I was able to avoid a Reclast infusion for another year. My hips only showed a very slight increase, so I am trying to do some yoga poses in addition to my usual leg exercises to improve the bone density in my hips. I need to be more consistent with the yoga.

Since the test I have not been as consistent with the arm exercises. Starting back to work has made me more tired. I was also on vacation during the week before I went back to work, so I missed a few days then. When I miss a day, I try to do the exercises twice the next day, but that doesn't always happen. 

I try not to get upset with myself when I miss a day. I believe the exercises are definitely helping, and I am doing them as often as I can. I believe that any movement is beneficial. You don't have to use dumbbells and other exercise equipment. If one pound weights are too heavy, you can try a water bottle or a can of soup. Start out slow but steady, and give yourself praise and encouragement for your progress. 

Exercise, or movement, can make a difference in your overall physical and emotional health. 

librarianintx

"Be on Time" Chronicles

 It's the return of the "Be on Time" Chronicles!

I am back at the library three days a week. The schedule started in July. So far it is working well. I am at the library on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and then I work from home on Tuesday and Thursday. 

Wednesday morning was going very well. I had plenty of time to do my bed exercises, take a good shower, and do my usual morning routine. At the appointed time of my ride I was standing outside waiting. It was a warm, humid summer morning, but not hot yet. All was well. 

And then I felt it.

Or I thought I did. 

Something was crawling on me. 

And then I felt the familiar sting. 

There was likely an ant. 

Maybe even a fire ant.

In my pants. 

Specifically, in my underwear.

Instantly I had a flashback to my childhood.

I was about eleven years old. I was in Sunday School. It was a pretty day, and the teacher had the wonderful idea to hold class outside. We were sitting on the ground, and evidently I sat in an ant pile. My teacher rushed me back into the building, and we went in an office - I don't know which one. I do know that an older boy was in the office because he was in trouble for something. My teacher ordered him out of the office so we could pull my pants down and get the ants off me. That boy of course went back to his class and announced, "I was sent back because a little girl had ants in her pants." The story spread through the Sunday School as fast as the ants that invaded my pants.

Standing outside on Wednesday, I was in a quandary. I could not go back inside without the possibility of missing my ride. And I certainly couldn't pull my pants down in the apartment complex parking lot. 

So I decided to just let the ant enjoy his / her breakfast, and hope he / she was satisfied after a nibble or two. I tend to get big welts and suffer intense itching when I am stung by ants or mosquitos, but I don't have a severe reaction like trouble breathing. 

Luckily this situation was not as extensive as that day in Sunday School. My ride came, and I made it to work. I had some itching, but nothing unbearable.

At least a bird didn't poop on me. 

librarianintx

"Shameless" series finale - My Thoughts

I watched the finale two nights ago.

Was it a satisfying ending for me?

No.

I think the show should have ended with the last episode of the previous season - at Mickey and Ian's wedding. Except for Lip falling off the wagon, which is a big except of course, the rest of the episode was funny, joyous, upbeat. Everyone was happy - about as positive as you get in Gallagher land. And we even had hope for Lip, because he realized right away what he did, and got himself to a meeting ASAP.

What did we get this season?

More of Debbie being a terrible mother and all around crappy person.

Lip continuing to struggle. The look on his face when Tami told she might be pregnant was heartbreaking. Seeing him get a job delivering food was depressing.

Ian and Mickey were trying to get somewhere, but Mickey's anger issues and reluctance to grow and change were dragging them down. I have absolutely no problem with gay men becoming fathers. I do have a problem with Mickey being a dad. 

Carl - I think it's great he became a cop. Being reduced to a meter maid  - not so much. And was he going to be a dad or not? I hate that that storyline was left hanging.

Speaking of left hanging - did Kev and V sell the Alibi and move to Kentucky, or not?

I'm not surprised that Frank died, and that he passed with only a nurse to provide comfort. It would not have been consistent with the show to see the family gathered at his bedside, wringing their hands and wiping their eyes. Their indifference as they watched him barely breathing after a heroin overdose made perfect sense. But the fact that COVID was what took him - not the alcoholism, drug use, or dementia, that was unsettling to me. And knowing the whole family had been exposed but was partying at the Alibi when they all should have been in quarantine - that was super unsettling.

It's not that I expected a happy ending for the show. These are the Gallagher's. They struggle. Life doesn't go their way. But I was hoping for at least a little good news. Some rays of hope. The kids were all singing at the end, arms wrapped around each other, as the rich guy's car burned and Frank slowly floated away. But my heart was heavy. I wasn't celebrating.

librarianintx

This Week in Texas

I was watching the ABC evening national news, and David Muir uttered a sentence I never dreamed I would hear: "A humanitarian crisis is currently unfolding in Texas..."

Let that sink in for a minute.

A humanitarian crisis.

There have been plenty of natural disasters in the United States in my lifetime.

Hurricane Katrina

Hurricane Harvey

Earthquakes

Fires

Tornadoes

But I don't know that the news media have ever used the term "humanitarian crisis" to describe a natural disaster in the United States.

Maybe they did, and I just wasn't listening.

Katrina and Harvey each certainly did cause a humanitarian crisis.

But the term always makes me think of a third world country.

Texas became a third world country this week.

At the beginning of the week, the main concern was the homeless population. They were the vulnerable ones. Exposed to the elements that were going to become extreme.

The rest of us had shelter, electricity, heat, water, and food.

We would be okay.

We would stay safe.

And then circumstances changed.

Suddenly tens of thousands of "safe" Texans were in the dark.

No lights.

Many with no heat source.

Some experienced broken pipes.

Then many more lost running water.

In the span of a day or two, "safe" Texans lost perishable food and drinking water. 

Some people resorted to melting and drinking snow, or at least using it to flush their toilets.

Many grocery stores were closed, and those that were open quickly ran out of food and bottled water.

Literally nothing on the shelves.

Austin issued a boil water notice.

That led to this sad meme on social media (paraphrasing): "I'll boil my non-existent water with my imaginary heat source in my house with no power."

Yep

A humanitarian crisis.

In the United States of America.

In the year 2021.

librarianintx

An Unbelievable Week

It has been an unprecedented week in Texas.

People who have lived in the state for decades have never seen anything like it. 

Everything that could go wrong has for too many people.

This has been a horrendous week for so many.

Scary

Frustrating

Excruciating

Traumatizing

Usually Texans are excited by snow, because we rarely see it.

Often we only get a dusting at the most.

It comes and goes.

We take pictures and video.

We revel in the small flakes, some of which don't even make it to the ground.

We have had to contend with ice storms.

That is not such a rare occurrence.

Sometimes life grounds to a halt for a day or two, maybe three.

But we have never seen anything like this.

Multiple rounds of snow and ice.

Days of treacherous roads.

Temperatures in the single digits with wind chills below zero.

Truly life threatening conditions.

But there's more.

Millions of people have been without power for days, either because of damage to power lines or the failure of our state's independent electrical grid.

Frozen pipes have busted.

People have lost water for other reasons.

Grocery stores have had to close.

Trucks can't get through to deliver supplies, so the stores that are open have empty shelves.

People are running out of food and water.

Some shelters have been set up, but they are hard to access because of the road conditions.

And we can't forget, COVID is still an issue.

First responders are working overtime dealing with:

Car accidents

Stranded drivers

Falls

House fires

Carbon monoxide poisonings

I did my best to prepare.

The one good aspect of my anxiety is that it makes me prepare.

I ordered two food deliveries.

I filled the bathtub with water for flushing the toilets.

I filled containers for drinking water.

I was particularly successful.

We are okay on food.

But we don't have enough water.

I didn't reserve enough.

I didn't think about how many reasons you need water:

Drinking

Washing hands

Brushing teeth

Washing dishes

We have lost water and heat

We are exceedingly fortunate to still have power.

It's scary.

Really nerve-wracking.

It's not like we can just drive to the store to get water.

And we can't go to a shelter because of the roads, and because of COVID.

We will be okay.

We will get through it.

I am learning to be resourceful.

I am learning to handle scary situations.

I still want to get excited by snow.

I don't want this experience to change that.

librarianintx

Television Can Be Educational

Experts say that television rots your brain. 

I disagree.

I think television can make you think. 

It depends on if you are watching to zone out, or if you are watching to learn something. 

I do both. 

Some shows I watch just for enjoyment. 

Other shows I watch for pleasure and to learn.

Occasionally a program that I'm not expecting to teach me anything actually does!

This happened last night, with the Ryan Murphy show "911 Lone Star."

The fictional show about first responders is set in Austin. 

I've often giggled over the depiction of the majority of Austinites walking around in cowboy hats and spending their nights line dancing in clubs. 

And then there was the episode where twin EF5 tornadoes tore up downtown. 

When I was watching last night, (spoilers!), a volcano wreaked havoc in the city, spewing lava and injuring people. I burst out laughing. C'mon Ryan. A volcano? 

Turns out I needed a history lesson. 

Austin DOES have a volcano! An inactive one...but still, we have a volcano!

Pilot Knob: Pilot Knob: Largest Extinct Volcano Remaining in Central Texas (texashillcountry.com)

I have officially been educated. 

By the way, next week (spoiler #2)  is about a wildfire. 

That actually happened - not in San Angelo, but in Smithville, near Austin, and the surrounding area, several years ago. It was quite devastating. 

librarianintx

Bee Gees documentary

 I watched the HBO documentary about the Bee Gees yesterday. 

I was a pre-teen in the 70's, and a teenager in the 80's, and I remember the disco era and "Saturday Night Fever" very well. 

What struck me the most about their story, besides the great music, was how much the band persevered, and their ability to be adaptable and resilient in the music industry. 

They were brothers with a dream to make it in the music industry, and they made it happen. They got their start making Beatles-type music in the 60's, and they were successful. But they became mega-stars when they moved to America and adopted a completely different sound - an intoxicating mix of the R&B music that they always loved, combined with the dance music popular in the gay and black club scenes. Disco was born, and it catapulted the Bee Gees to super stardom. 

But when disco became unpopular (to put it mildly), they were able to keep their careers going by writing hit songs for big stars - Barbra Streisand, Dolly Parton & Kenny Rodgers, and Celine Dion in particular. 

They went through hard times as a band of brothers. There were creative differences, and personality clashes. Barry and Robin often fought over singing lead. Maurice had to deal with being in the middle. They broke up as a band. They got back together. But the bond was always there. 

I learned in the documentary that Robin and Maurice are twins. I never knew that. Barry and Andy look more like twins, even though they are the oldest and youngest. 

The Bee Gees boys had what it takes to succeed in life and in your chosen career - talent, creativity, dedication, and resiliency. 

librarianintx

Winter Wonderland

I refer to last Sunday as "The Snow Day of My Dreams."

I was born in Florida and grew up in several cities in Texas. From the time I was ten until I moved away to attend graduate school, I lived in Houston. I've seen snow a few times during my life, but usually we didn't get much more than a few flakes. Sometimes if you blinked, you missed the snow. Forecasters, especially in Central and Southeast Texas, tend to hype the possibility of snow, leaving many residents disappointed when the white stuff does not appear.

We were not disappointed in Central Texas on Sunday. 

We got snow. 

And I mean S-N-O-W!

Hours of it.

Quite a bit of it. A few inches at least. 

I've learned not to get my hopes up. But when I saw it coming down, I was so excited. I didn't know how long it would last, so I threw on clothes and ran outside, not bothering to even brush my hair or wash my face (and you can tell in the pictures.) 

I didn't care. 

I was finally getting my snow day. 

It snowed from about 9 am until 4 pm. Some of it was quite heavy. I was out several times, taking pictures and video, documenting as the outside turned white. 

It was absolutely beautiful.

I was mesmerized. 

I didn't make a snowman, or any snowballs. I didn't walk in it much. I was still afraid of falling, even though it wasn't icy. But that was okay. I didn't dream of making snowmen or snowballs. I simply dreamed of watching beautiful, white flakes falling from the sky. And that is what I had the opportunity to witness. 

This South-Central Texas girl was very, very happy. 

librarianintx