Allison and Twitch

Allison Holker and Twitch Boss, both alumni of the show So You Think You Can Dance, were married and appeared to have the perfect life - they were madly in love, successful, raising children - they were living the American Dream. 

Then Twitch died by suicide at the age of 40. 

He was a beloved celebrity - always smiling, always dancing - the picture of mental and physical health. 

Allison was devastated, and society rallied around her - the devastated widow with a teenager and two young children to raise alone. 

Then Allison wrote a memoir, that in part detailed Twitch's mental health struggles, drug use, and suggested that Twitch may have been a victim of sexual abuse. 

Many fans turned against her, saying she had no right to expose Twitch's life, and that she was trying to profit from his pain. Twitch never spoke publicly about any of this. 

Now Allison has announced that she is engaged. Her fiancé proposed to her on her birthday. She called it "the best night of her life" and gushed about him being her person. 

Again, the fans took to social media to express their outrage, saying she should have been more restrained in her enthusiasm, thinking about her late husband. 

It is a very complicated situation. I can see both sides. 

I believe with all my heart that Allision deserves to be happy. I am glad she has found another love. Life is short. I don't believe that someone has to grieve for the rest of their life to show that they love someone. You can feel grief and joy simultaneously. 

Still, as a fan of Twitch, who feels like I will never fully process his death, I do understand the pain that the fans are feeling. But do we have a right to feel this way? None of us knew the "real" Twitch. We know the Twitch that he presented to the world. And that Twitch was likely both perfect and flawed, as we all are. 

And Allison and Twitch's marriage was likely both wonderful and difficult as well, as most marriages are. Look at Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. They presented to the world an image of two people enjoying a long, happy marriage. Keith always looked completely in love with Nicole. And now they are divorced. Do we the fans truly know what happened? No. Is it our business? Definitely NOT!

Consider also the story of Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. They were figure skaters, married and madly in love. Sergei died suddenly in 1995 of an undiagnosed heart condition. In 2002, Ekaterina married skater Ilia Kulik and they had a child. Ekaterina had two great loves. I thought she and Ilia were still together. But no, they divorced in 2015, and five years later she married David Pelletier. She is still married to him. So, my point is, you can have more than one love in your lifetime. 

I still grieve for Twitch, even though I didn't know him personally. But my grief doesn't matter in this situation. As happy as she is now, I am certain that Allison still grieves too. I am glad she has found someone that makes her happy. I do not believe that anything she has done was done with the intention to hurt Twitch or besmirch his memory. In the end, you either believe in the goodness of someone, or you don't. I believe in Allison. 

librarianintexas

More Thoughts on the Olympics

The focus is so much on the medals.

Especially who wins gold.

But sometimes, the Olympics are about more than who stands on the podium.

Sometimes it's about falling down.

And getting back up.

Its about resilience 

Redemption

Facing failure

And trying one more time

To be the best that you can be

Even if the result isn't being named the best in the world.

Congratulations Amber Glenn.

You put Tuesday's disappointment behind you.

And you slayed that Free Skate.

You showed us what it means to never give up.

librarianintx 

The Olympics

I enjoy watching the Olympics.

Summer and Winter.

I get nervous sometimes when I want a favorite to win the gold.

I think competition can be good.

Competition pushes you to work and do your best.

But I feel sad when athletes win a medal and are devastated when the medal isn't gold.

Expectations put too much pressure on these athletes.

Expectations from experts in the sport.

From family and friends. 

From social media

From the athletes themselves 

Obviously, everyone wants to come in first.

They train for years

Make a lot of sacrifices

They don't do all of that to "settle" for second or third

But it's interesting to see how athletes react to what medals they win.

Last night the American ice dance team cried because they won the silver medal. They were disappointed. They were favored to win gold.

Meanwhile, the Canadian team cried tears of joy because they won the bronze. Their level of expectation was lower. They had less pressure to win gold.

In 1998, figure skater Michelle Kwan won the silver medal at the Olympics. In response to people consoling her, she replied, "I didn't lose the gold. I WON the silver." 

That is the pride and resilience I want to see.

However, at the 2002 Olympics, Kwan won bronze and cried tears of disappointment. 

She found success in silver, but failure in bronze.

Intellectually, I understand this phenomenon.  But on an emotional level, I feel sad that anything less than gold for some athletes means they are less than.

librarianintx 

More Thoughts on Bad Bunny's Halftime Show

I read a lot of comments on social media last night.

There wasn't any, "Well, it was okay."

People either loved it or hated it.

Not surprising, given the current division in our country. 

I think the people who wanted to hate it, did hate it.

They found things to complain about.

But I think that Bad Bunny could have given those people a lot more to bitch about, but chose not to.

Because his intention was to entertain, not to disgust or to shock.

There were rumors he might wear a dress.

He didn't. 

There were rumors he might kiss a man.

He didn't 

His female dancers were sexy and they certainly moved their bodies.

But there were no bikinis, no thongs showing, no boobs out. 

Others might argue with me.

But I thought it was tasteful.

There were two brief moments of men dancing together, but they were blink and you'll miss it encounters.

The only kissing was between a heterosexual couple, during an actual wedding ceremony!

And for all the people complaining about the Spanish - y'all, he threw you a bone. A big one - an uber-popular, immediately recognizable, straight, lovely, (occasionally blond) woman named Lady Gaga - who sang in English! 

So honestly, what was there to complain about? What was controversial? 

If you don't like his music, okay, fair enough.

But to say it was the worst halftime ever?

Please.

I remember when Justin popped Janet's boob out, everyone was screaming that the halftime show should be family friendly. That children are watching. 

How would you rate Bad Bunny's show on a family friendly scale?

I would rate it highly.

Again, no super suggestive clothing or gyrating.

There were scenes depicting family life, community, celebrations, inclusion, unity.

I think young children would be interested in the scenery, the men on the utility poles, the flags.

The show was colorful. 

There was a lot to take in.

I think about when you go to the opera (for those that do). Many operas are sung in a foreign language. So you dont know what the characters are saying. But the emotion in the music plus the movements on stage are what connects you to the performance. The feeling  tells the story. And that's what Bad Bunny's halftime show did for me.

If it didn't work for you. I feel bad for you.

You missed out on fifteen minutes of what this country desperately needs.

Joy.

Bad Bunny's Halftime Show: My Thoughts

I have been using Duolingo for over a year to learn Spanish.

I'm improving on reading and somewhat on comprehension, but I still can't speak the language. 

When it comes to Bad Bunny's performance at the Superbowl, my learning Spanish did not help me. I could not understand what he was saying.

But that didn't bother me. Because for me, his show was much more about FEELING than about knowing a language and song lyrics. 

This was a celebration of country, culture, people, history. This was about joy, pride, honor, respect. This was about family and generations. 

It was also about dance.

And it was about inclusion. His special guests were Lady Gaga and Ricky Martin - two worldwide superstars - one of them an LGBTQ+ ally and the other an out gay man.

At the end of the performance, Bad Bunny was reciting the countries that are part of the Americas. Again, it was about inclusion. America is about more than the 50 states and the District of Columbia. People born and raised in the US territories are Americans too. 

Focus on what unites us - the international language of music - not what divides us.

librarianintx 

Grammy's

I told myself I wasn't going to stay up to watch the whole show.

But I did.

Here were my favorite moments, in no particular order:

Trevor Noah killed it as always as host. I'm sad it was his last time to host.

Nikki Glaser and Teyana Taylor's presenter banter. Also, can we talk about Teyana's dress?! FIRE!!

Both of Bruno Mars' performances. He got everyone up and dancing. And he's FINE!!

Lady Gaga's performance. Mother Monster slayed yet again.

Gaga, Bad Bunny, and Billie Elish's acceptance speeches.

Quote of the night: "No one is illegal on stolen land" - Billie Eilish

Tribute to Roberta Flack - especially the Fugees part

Cher receiving a Lifetime Achievement award.

librarianintx 

A Few More Brain Gains and Drains

I discovered a third page to the list:

Brain Gains:

Music making: singing, playing

Art: color, paint, collage, pics

Visualization or vision board

Brain Drains:

Anxiety / PTSD

Epilepsy,  seizures, schizophrenia 

Taking meds that slow the brain

Trauma / stress in earlier life

3rd shift work / sleep issues

Balance issues

Family history of Parkinson's,  Alzheimer's, MS

librarianintx