Adventure

Yesterday my oldest niece left her home for a semester abroad. She will be based in one country, but because everything is so close in Europe, she will have the opportunity to visit multiple countries during her three plus months there.

This is an outstanding opportunity for her, and I know she will make every moment count. Luckily this girl takes after her father. He is a do-er, an adventurer. He has travelled all over the world with his job: UAE, Algeria, Singapore, Shanghai, Buenos Aires, Rome, just to name a few. My niece is not infected with the worry gene that plagues her mother's side of the family. Or if she has it, she has been able to control it. Her mother has learned over the years, in large part because of her husband I think, to have more control over this. She has been able to fly with my brother-in-law to Rome and to Buenos Aires, and to go with the family to Hawaii. They also took a cruise once. She didn't love the cruise, but she did it.

Someone asked me the other day if I was jealous of my niece. Not jealous, but envious, yes. I am a history nut, and to have the opportunity to visit Europe, especially England and Ireland, would be beyond amazing. But I don't see it ever happening. Money is of course the main obstacle. Physical health is a problem as well. But even if I somehow had the money to go, and someone to help with the physical aspects of travel, would I? If I'm being honest, I would have to say no. Because the anxiety would be too overwhelming. Too many fears. Fear of flying. Fear of flying over water. Fear of terrorism. Fear of any other number of things. Fear of fear. The list would be long. The physical and mental toll would be so exhausting.

I do still have hope that one day I will be able to get more of a handle on all of this. I have to keep hoping. But in another way I am kind of resigned to it. I've always been this way, and I probably always will be. It's never going to completely go away. I'm trying to just learn to live with it. Try to relax and not let it upset me. Getting mad and frustrated only makes it worse. Be kind to myself. Undertand that it's not my fault, and I'm doing the best I can. Surround myself with people who like me for who I am and are kind to me when I'm anxious, scared, and weird about certain things.

I don't think I'm ever going to see the world in person. But I can see the world through books. On the Internet. And in the pictures and stories of my healthy, brave, strong, intelligent, talented adventurer. She will see the world, and then she will share her knowledge, her experiences, and her memories with me.

librarianintx

Big Brother 8-29-13

Spencer could potentially be the swing vote tonight. I feel certain that Judd and GinaMarie will vote to evict Andy. And if Amanda and McCrae figure out that Aaryn and Elissa were starting to work together, then they will vote to keep Andy. I really don't know how Spencer will vote. He has been wanting to work with Aaryn. Hopefully Aaron and Elissa can convince him to evict Andy.

Wait, did I just say that? Did I just write that I want Andy to go home over Aaryn? It's just because I want Amanda out so bad. I'm not rooting for Aaryn. I know Andy said he won't be loyal to McCranda anymore, but sorry, I'm not interested in what Andy says. He's not a key player in this game to me.

Amanda has become one of the most unlikeable people to play Big Brother. She's a huge bully, but then when she feels threatened she turns on the waterworks and becomes the biggest whiner. Aarghh! Please, fellow houseguests, please find a way to get her out next week. She is making the show painful to watch.

Unfortunately, because of football, Big Brother won't be on until after midnight. Sucks! I won't know until Friday afternoon what happens. I like the show, but not enough to get up an hour early to watch it. This means I'll have to stay off Twitter so I don't get spoiled. Facebook should be safe.

librarianintx

Big Brother 15

What was going to be my prediction / strategy analysis for tonight's episode will now be a rant against posting spoilers online. People, please. I'm getting old. My memory isn't what it used to be. Usually I save the last few episodes on my DVR so I can refer back to them if necessary when writing a blog post. I've even taken notes - about who won HOH, who was nominated for eviction, blah blah. But I just went to look up one piece of information - and found out EVERYTHING that happened tonight - on wikipedia! COME ON! If you're going to post spoilers, fine, but do it in such a way that people can avoid them if they want to. I found out who won POV, and if that changed the nominations. It was in a grid with all the other information from this season. All I'm asking is that information NOT be posted until after the episode airs. Some people don't want to be spoiled. Some people want to make predictions and analyze the situation first. Our predictions may or not be stupid...but let us make them first!! Let us have our fun, let us use our brains a little, even if it is just for a silly television show. Geez! :-(

librarianintx

Big Brother

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a few weeks.

I'm still enjoying the season. But I don't have a favorite. Not even close. In fact, until Judd came back into the house, I didn't like anyone. Elissa is okay, but she can get on my nerves. I'm a girlie girl, but Elissa is beyond a girlie girl. I sort of like McCrae, but unfortunately the fact that he is with Amanda keeps me from liking him as much as I would otherwise. I do appreciate the fact that he tries to keep her in line. But Amanda is so unbearable, so unlikable, that some of it rubs off on McCrae for me. I don't have any hope that their relationship will survive outside the house. For McCrae's sake, I hope it doesn't. It would be okay with me if McCrae wins, as long as he dumps Amanda in the process.

I do like Judd. Out of the four jurors, I was definitely rooting for either him or Jessie to make it back into the house.

After Amanda, my most disliked houseguest is...not who you would expect I imagine. That "honor" goes to...Andy! Andy is a tattletale. That is the only game he has. All he does is run to "McCranda" when anyone tells him anything. Why does he trust them so much? They are a couple. The best he's going to be able to do is third or fourth place, unless he can win HOH. Why is he settling for that? If he could help get Amanda out, he would be more on an even playing field I think. There would be no Queen Bee if Amanda was gone. Maybe Aaryn would take her crown, but I tend to think that having to be the evictioner (is that a word?) for Helen and Amanda has made her squeamish about doing the same thing to someone else. Aaryn definitely is in it to win it, but I don't think she wants to be a puppetmaster.

So we'll see what happens. Maybe Elissa can backdoor Amanda. If she doesn't go this week, I think it will probably be McCranda as the final two. *Shudder* I'm having an Amber / Boston Rob "Survivor" flashback.

librarianintx