Survivor Second Chances Finale

I know, I am super late in posting this. You know, the holidays, plus my mom celebrated a big birthday....blah blah. But what a great finale it was! It was a very fun season to watch. My dream final four would have been Woo, Joe, Spencer, and Jeremy. Yes, I was rooting for Spencer to win, but honestly, I knew he wouldn't. He had too many enemies on the jury. I'm just thrilled he made it to the final tribal council. Jeremy played the family/new baby card at exactly the right time. I'm glad he won; obviously he was one of my favorites. The game meant something very different to Jeremy and Spencer. Jeremy wanted to win for the money. Spencer wanted to win for the title. Both wanted redemption for their first time in the game, but so did everyone this season.

I think its interesting that I like Spencer so much, when so many people seem to view him as arrogant and detached. What I like about Spencer is his determination and scrappiness, for lack of a better term (Blogger doesn't like it!) He is a team player and a good strategist, as well as an excellent puzzle-solver. He does not give up. Somehow he went from first on everyone's lips to be voted out, to making it to the finale tribal council.

Thanks for a fantastic season, Survivor and players! And congratulations to Jeremy and his family!

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances

Two weeks - two medical emergencies. These contestants are SERIOUS. They are giving it everything they have, and I think of the six people remaining in the competition, all of them would be deserving of the million dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor - except Kimmie. I like her; I simply don't think she has done enough to win.

Oh happy days, Abi is gone!! Of course I understand the strategy of taking her to the final tribal council, but I did NOT want her there. She does not deserve it, and she is so mean-spirited and difficult. It made my day to see her walk down those stairs after being blindsided. I was worried that Spencer had gone to the dark side and made a final four pact that included Abi and Wentworth, but luckily he didn't, and stayed with Tasha and Jeremy.

I wanted to throw something at my ailing television when Spencer and Jeremy voted with the girls to eliminate Joe. I understand that Joe is a challenge beast, and they needed to get him out. But I was so freaked out that the girls would pick off the guys. If Spencer, Jeremy, and Joe had enlisted Keith's help, instead of letting him flounder off by himself, and if they had managed to get Tasha on their side, they could have gotten Abi out last week, or even voted out Kimmie. Eliminating one of the two would have broken the girls voting block. Then at the beginning of this week's episode, both Jeremy and Spencer were regretting their decision to vote out Joe. DUH!! But luckily, it worked out okay. Spencer won the immunity challenge, Tasha voted with him and Jeremy, and they didn't end up needing Keith, but I think they should still get him on their side.

Joe is one of my favorites, and I was so sorry to see him go. He had a great shot at winning, and he deserved to win. He is so great at challenges, and he's such a good person. I could have slapped Abi for the way she talked about him after tribal council.

ANYTHING can happen in the finale next week. Everyone except Kimmie, and to a certain extent Tasha, are very strong players and can win challenges. Of course I want Spencer to win, and I know he's still a long shot, but his odds have definitely improved greatly. He's very good at puzzles, and his patience and stamina have improved. The person I am most worried about is Wentworth. She has proven her ability to win, and she could easily get Keith into an alliance with her and Kimmie, and maybe pull in Tasha, although hopefully not. The girls often excel at endurance challenges, and she definitely could outlast everyone in such a scenario. If Spencer doesn't win, then I hope Jeremy does, or Keith. I am not rooting for Wentworth, but would give her props if she did, because she is deserving.

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Finale

I'm disappointed that I was only able to write a few recaps for this season. I had intended to write a recap for every episode. Sigh. I'll try again next season.

Congratulations to Bindi and Derek! Bindi was the frontrunner from week one, and never lost that status. She is an amazing dancer, and an outstanding human being. Definitely the right couple took home the mirrorball trophy.

My top four would have been Bindi, Nick, Tamar, and Carlos, so that is close to what actually transpired. In just about every season, the third place finisher is someone who didn't deserve to be in the top three, and for me that happened again this season. Alek definitely grew as a dancer, especially considering he has no previous dancing or acting experience. Plus he was a sentimental favorite, an American hero. But if Tamar had stayed in the competition, I'm not sure that Alek would have finished in third place. Tamar was a more accomplished dancer, but she was not as well liked or admired as Alek. As we know, Dancing with the Stars is often more of a popularity contest than a show about dancing ability.

I didn't enjoy all of the cast members this season, but I still adore this show. Thanks for another great season, DWTS! My mom and I will be seeing the tour on December 20th. We are so excited!

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances 11/25

A very satisfying two episode-in-one-night edition of Survivor: Spencer won an immunity challenge (!) and both eliminations were blindsides of people I was happy to see walk down the stairs and into the jury pool: first Ciera, and then Fishbach. Okay, I did feel a little bad for Stephen. He played his advantage, and I know he thought his move would make a big impact, and instead he got his torch snuffed. I also felt bad that he had been so sick and was in so much pain, but he didn't quit, and instead he got voted out. Nobody said Survivor is easy, or fair.

I don't blame Joe one bit for not voting to improve the shelter. He had to participate in the challenge; he had no other option. He knew that the tribe was gunning for him as soon as he lost the challenge. As it turned out, he didn't get voted out, but he knew he couldn't take the chance. I'm actually surprised that so many people gave up their chance at immunity. The constant rain has obviously take a big toll on all of them.

I am totally freaking out over the scenes for next week. Someone gets hurt, and its obviously a white male. That means it has to be either Joe, Spencer, or Keith. I certainly do not want anyone to get hurt, and especially not Spencer. Please please do not let it be Spencer. And whoever got hurt, I hope it is not as serious as it seemed to be in the preview. Since this is a visit from loved ones episode, the possibility exists that a loved one could have been injured, since they sometimes participate in the challenges. We'll have to wait and see. I am VERY nervous.

librarianintx

Survivor: Second Chances

Jeremy is still in it. Scrappy Spencer is still fighting for the win. And Joe continues to dominate the immunity challenges. So I'm pleased. But I don't understand why the majority decided to align this week with the "three witches." Doesn't make sense to me. And why did the group target Wentworth two weeks ago, instead of Ciera or Abi? Why did they go after the one that had a hidden immunity idol? I rarely think the show is rigged, but when that happened - it made me wonder.

Oh Spencer was SO close to swimming for that advantage! You can see that if he had not hesitated for just a fraction of an instant, he would have beaten Fishbach. I was so worried that the group would take the opportunity to kick out Spencer, but luckily he wasn't in the running at all for elimination.

I was SO happy that Spencer was a big reason that his team won the reward challenge. He is always one of the first to step up and take on a task - anything from unknotting ropes to working puzzles to pitching bags into holes. He's a hard worker, a team player, and a good strategist. I want him to win so badly, but I doubt he will. I'm still holding on to hope, though.

librarianintx

A Book You Love and One You Didn't

I'm finally getting back to the Thirty Day Writing Challenge. I'm disappointed with myself for missing so many days, but the important thing is, I'm not giving up on it.

To pick one book that I've loved - impossible! I could drive myself crazy deciding on which one, so I'm not going to think about it for too long. Just choose one and go with it. This doesn't mean that this book is my absolute favorite of all time, just one that I enjoyed.

So I am going with Good Kings Bad Kings by Susan Naussbaum. It is a work of fiction, about a group of young people living in an independent living center for people with disabilities in inner city Chicago. The characters are believable and make you want to root for them. The storylines are realistic and heartbreaking. It is one of those books that sucks you in, and leaves you feeling grateful for what you have in life.

A book that I didn't care for was Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan. I thought the book suffered from an overuse of metaphors and comparisons that were designed to be humorous (taken from my goodreads review). And I seriously disliked her relationship with her husband. He was a jerk, and even though she figured out that they weren't right for each other, she decided to stay with him, mainly because she found out she was pregnant with twins. At least that's what I wrote in my goodreads review. I read the book a few years ago, so I don't remember all the details. But I do remember that I gave up on the book more than once, and I managed to finish it, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

librarianintx

Survivor: Second Chances

Hallelujah! Chaos Kas is gone!!

She SO needed to go. Hopefully Abbi and Ciera will have their torches snuffed out next.

I'm glad that Spencer didn't vote for Kas. She did save him, after all, although I still question why she did. I'm sure he is very relieved to have her gone. But he still faces an uphill battle.

librarianintx

A Day Off

How decadent to have a day off from work in the middle of the week.

The day began with a cup of tea, some reading, then a homemade egg muffin with zucchini and mushrooms, vegetarian sausage, and a blueberry muffin. I never have time during the week for such a nice breakfast.

A good sweep of the patio and a quick walk with my roommate has rounded out the day so far. And now time to catch up on some blogging. I have unfortunately fallen off the wagon in the past few weeks. Time to remedy that.

I am very grateful for a restorative day at home. And I am grateful to the men and women that have made it their duty to protect our country and keep us safe. We honor them on this Veteran's Day. 


librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances 10/28

UGH! I got to keep Spencer, but I lost Woo in the process. Why is it that evil women are having control over the men that I admire in this competition? First Abbi was the puppetmaster of Woo's fate, then Kas determined the destiny of Spencer. Just when I had some hope that maybe Jeremy would be able to protect Spencer, then Jeff had to switch up the tribes again. Now Spencer has to deal with BOTH Abbi and Kas. Sigh.

This episode was fishy to me. Why did Kas end up keeping Spencer? All she could talk about was getting him out. Why did she go with voting out Woo? And in the immunity challenge, why on earth did that tribe send Kas up a second time to eat the Cambodian delicacies? She proved in the first round that she couldn't handle the gross food, so why did they pick her to go again? Why didn't they choose Spencer, who DID get the stuff down the first time around. Woo went twice, and won in both of his rounds. Spencer could have achieved that success as well, if given the opportunity. Kas lost the challenge for her team, but she was still in the driver's seat when it came to who went home.

I'm shaking my head.

librarianintx

Tattoos

The seventh prompt of the thirty day writing challenge.

I don't have any tattoos. I'm not a fan of tattoos. I think one or two small ones are okay, but I don't understand the desire to be covered in them. For some people I think the need for tattoos borders on an addiction.

I'm not a fan of needles or pain or having something at least semi-permanent etched into my skin, so I don't see myself ever getting one. But if I did, I have a few ideas on what I would get. A small butterfly, maybe on an ankle or the inside of my wrist. And there are a few words I would consider; words that have meaning to me:

1) courage
2) harmony
3) bug (One of my nicknames, which is funny, because I'm scared of bugs)
4) teeny (Another of my nicknames)

librarianintx

Someone Who Fascinates You and Why

So I'm behind on the thirty day writing challenge, but I told myself I wouldn't be able to write every day, so I'm not beating myself up about it. Just pick up and keep going when you can, I instructed myself.

I have a triumvirate of three women in history that I have admired for most of my life - Laura Ingalls Wilder, Helen Keller, and Anne Frank. I read everything I can about them. I don't have the new Laura Ingalls Wilder autobiography, but it's on my wish list.

I know this will sound corny, but the person who fascinates me the most these days is President Barack Obama. I have admired him since the first time I heard him speak, when as Senator Obama he gave the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention for then-Presidential candidate John Kerry. When he concluded his speech, I looked at my roommate and said, "He's going to be president someday."

When he was still the senator from Illinois, he came to the Texas Book Festival in Austin, to sign copies of his book Dreams of My Father. I knew people would start lining up sometime in the middle of the night for the book signing. He would be in an outdoor tent, and it was a chilly November day. So I did not go, and it is one of many regrets I have in my life. It would have been a very brief encounter, but I know it would have been meaningful to me for the rest of my life.

I have an acquaintance who greatly admired and believed in two men - cyclist Lance Armstrong, and former senator and presidential candidate John Edwards. Of course both men were incredibly respected individuals who fell from grace amid terrible scandals. I worry that this will happen to me with President Obama. So far he has managed to be one of the cleanest politicians ever, meaning no political or personal wrongdoings. I hope that continues. I believe in him, as a person, and as our president. I believe he has a wonderful heart and wants everyone in this country to succeed. I adore pictures of him with children. It hurts me when people speak so ill of him and tear him down. I think he has done so much good for this country, and would have been able to achieve even more if the Republicans had not made it their life's ambition to work against him in hopes he would fail.

librarianintx

A Place You Would Like to Live but Never Visited

Day Five of the Thirty Day Writing Challenge

This is a hard one. I can't imagine myself living anywhere but Austin or Houston. I have no desire to start over in a new city, and especially not in a new state where I would probably have to fly in order to see family and friends.

But if I were braver, more adventurous....mmmm, I can't fathom being that strong. Pretty sad, honestly. Even my imagination can't take me on such a journey.

I'm not a sun worshipper, so the northwest might be a good place for me, like Seattle. I'd like to live somewhere with a low chance of tornadoes.

I have been to Washington DC a few times, and I would love to live there for awhile, to soak up all the history. But it can get pretty cold there.

I wish my response to this prompt was more exciting. 

librarianintx

Ten Interesting Facts About Yourself

Day Four of the Thirty Day Writing Challenge

This prompt is one of my favorites, but I'm not sure that I can come up with ten interesting facts about myself. We'll see...

These are in no particular order.

1) I rode an elephant - twice!
This happened at the Texas Renaissance Festival, so a lot of people of all ages can say they've ridden an elephant - there was a camel there too that people could ride. But this is a big deal for me because I am not any kind of a risk taker, even though it was a pretty safe thing to do. I also don't like heights, and elephants are tall creatures! But I have always been a big fan of elephants, so I'm really glad I did it. I just wish there were pictures from the experience.

2) I have fired a gun.
I am not a gun enthusiast at all, and I'm very surprised I actually did this. I was staying at a friend's ranch, and after lunch one afternoon my friend's dad suggested that my three male friends and me try some target practice. "Sure!" I said. So for the first and only time in my life so far I fired a pistol. I don't think I even came close to hitting a target, but I was able to physically fire the gun. There is a picture of me, in the firing stance, wearing headphones so the sound wouldn't startle me too much. My friend's dad tried to figure out how I would be able to fire a rifle too, but that was too heavy for me and I couldn't pull the trigger. The pistol was more than enough for me. Its an interesting story that surprises people, but I can't say I'm proud that I fired a gun. I am VERY proud that I didn't shoot anyone. :)

3) I have worked at an inner city school.
I did some student teaching at a third ward school in Houston, and I also volunteered at a public library in the neighborhood. I was the only white person at the school. I loved working with the kids; they responded well to me. But the teachers were not welcoming. They basically thought I was some kind of spy. As part of my class work, I had to interview the teacher I was working with, and she refused to answer some of the questions I asked her. She and the other teachers said to me, "You're gonna go back to your white school in your white neighborhood to do your full semester of student teaching." And they were right - I did. But there were important reasons why I did. I knew working full time would be quite an effort for me, so I chose to student teach where I went to fifth grade, so I could live with my mom, and have help with meals and laundry and transportation.

4) I have been on television and in the newspaper.
All of my appearances have been because of the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I have been on the local telethons in Corpus Christi and Houston, and in the local newspapers in both cities as well. I was also interviewed on a local morning news show in Houston from the MDA summer camp. I think I was eleven or twelve years old that summer. We didn't have a VCR yet, so I never saw the interview.

5) I was involved in campus politics in undergrad.
I was secretary and then president of the Handicapped Student Advisory Board at the University of Houston, and I was a student senator as well. I participated in a march and sit in when the university threatened to eliminate the Disabled Student Services office.

6) I was a rocker chick in my younger days.
I was never a metal-head. But my favorite acts were the "hair bands" of the 80's and 90's - Def Leppard, Winger, Whitesnake, White Lion, Poison, etc. I used to buy Circus and Hit Parade magazines. I didn't get to go to a lot of concerts, but my first ever concert was Tesla and Firehouse. I have only seen Def Leppard live twice, but I have been a fan since 1983, and a devoted fan since 1987.

7) I have met a few "celebrities." I put the word in quotation marks because everyone has their own definition of a famous person. Back in the 70's I met a few Dallas Cowboy football players through the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I also met the guy who played Epstein on "Welcome Back Kotter." More recently, I met the author Judy Blume and actor Chris Colfer at book signings. The longest conversation I had with a celebrity was with Mark Zupan, the quad rugby player who starred in the documentary "Murderball." 

8) I'm a big fan of games.
I enjoy classic board, card, and dice games - Monopoly, Scrabble, Yatzee, Solitare, Boggle, Poker, Memory, etc. I play brain age and other types of games on my phone. I enjoy winning and I am competitive to a certain extent, but the opportunity to play is more important to me than who wins. I have not been good at puzzles, but a few years ago I started trying to do puzzles.

9) I've always wanted to play a musical instrument.
When I was in the fifth grade, everyone had to learn to play the recorder. I was so bad that my music teacher told me to pretend to play at our performance. The main instrument I want to learn is the piano. We didn't have one when I was growing up, and I think my mom didn't want to pay for lessons because she figured my fingers were too small and weak. Plus I don't have a decent sense of timing. My roommate has a professional-type keyboard now, and I keep thinking that sometime I will try to teach myself how to play. Awhile back I learned how to play a few notes of a song from the "Sound of Music," and I cried when I played it correctly for the first time.

10) I am becoming interested in the difficulties people face when they leave prison. I think prison should be more about rehabilitation and less about incarceration. And we need to give former offenders more assistance when they leave prison, to reduce the rate of recidivism. The U.S. has more people in the penal system than any other country in the world, and many of them are people of color, imprisoned for non-violent offenses like buying and selling drugs.

librarianintx

My first kiss and my first love

Day three of the thirty day writing challenge...

I think my first kiss was when I was in the fourth grade. I don't remember the boy's name. I think it happened in the back seat of a car, but I don't remember for sure. Obviously very memorable. :)

My first love - that's a toughie. I've had several crushes; none of them were interested in me. There was Walt in 8th grade. I was devastated when he didn't invite me to the eighth grade dance. Before Walt, there was Eric, who was my pseudo date for my Bat Mitzvah weekend. There is a chance my mother paid him to act like my boyfriend, but she denies it. I know at least one time she paid a boy to dance with me at some event. It was a real self-esteem boost when the boy bragged to me about it.

In undergrad I was overcome with attraction for a beautiful boy who used a manual wheelchair. I could barely breathe when he was around. And in grad school I was terribly smitten with a boy named Kevin. He lived two doors from me on our co-ed floor in the dorm, and I did everything I could to spend time with him.

But was I really in love with any of these boys? And was I love with William, the guy I dated through part of high school and the early chunk of college? We were very different. He was country, and I was rock and roll. He came from a very conservative family of nine children. I was at his house exactly once in all the years that we dated. We were together during the most difficult of my life - two major surgeries, and I spent most of my high school existence on homebound and half-day programs. We didn't date like normal kids. Our "dates" consisted of hanging out at my house. I think we went to the ice cream parlor exactly once. We did go to the our junior and senior proms, but I was sick for both, and we didn't stay long at either one.

William was very sweet to me, and I often took out my frustrations of life on him. Our relationship fell apart when he went into the Navy. I cared for him very much; I'm not sure I can say that I was in love with him. He gave me a promise ring and even proposed once over the phone, but I didn't accept. He deserved better than the person that I was back then.

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances 10/21 Show

Whew! Spencer dodged a bullet again. It's just so frustrating to see good, hardworking players like Wigglesworth and Spencer be on the outs with their tribe, while someone like Fishbach, who actually scored a point for ANOTHER team in the immunity challenge, is sitting pretty. And once again, Abbi was a complete train wreck, emotionally and in the challenges, for her team, but there was no tribal council for that bunch. Even if there had been, she would have probably survived. Sigh. It just absolutely maddens me that a good guy and great player like Woo has to kiss that woman's feet and pledge loyalty to her in order to stay in the game. Gross.

librarianintx

My Earliest Memory

Day two of the thirty day writing challenge!

This will be a quick one. I feel like I've never had a good memory. I think most of my recollections stem from photographs more than actual memories. But I'll mention a few, whatever they are based on. The earliest are from when I was between three and four years old. There are pictures of me with the big stuffed brown teddy bear I received for Hanukkah. I named her Mathilda and dressed her in my old nightgowns. I remember the little wooden table I sat at in my room and listened to my record player. There are photographs of me when I was about three and a half, holding on to the coffee table in the living room, contemplating taking a step.

At three years old, I had long blondish-brown hair that I wore in adorable "pig tails" and Mom dressed me and my sister in matching clothes for years. I didn't get my first pair of glasses until I was four I think.  I like picture of myself when I was three years old or younger. When I was seven, my mom cut my hair super short because we were living in Corpus Christi, and the humidity made my hair tangled and unmanageable. I wore my hair short until I was nineteen. I hate many of the photos of me when I was growing up - very short, kinky hair, glasses, pudgy stomach, huge overbite, orthopedic shoes - sigh.

librarianintx

Five Problems with Social Media

I'm attempting a 30 day writing challenge that I found on Facebook. There is a topic for every day. Will I actually be able to blog every day for 30 days? I doubt it. But I am giving it a shot. Here is day #1!

As much as I enjoy social media, especially Facebook, there are definitely some aspects that I do not care for. I may even be able to come up with more than five dislikes:

1) Oversharing
Adults overshare about themselves constantly on Facebook, which is annoying, but I find it especially troubling when parents overshare about their children. They have to realize that their children will one day be on Facebook, or they already on Facebook, as are their friends, and their friend's parents. Parents need to take their children's feelings into consideration when they post personal stuff. Maybe they are venting because their children are frustrating them, or maybe they think what they are posting is cute and funny and want people to laugh with them. But the children may not be laughing. I wouldn't want my mom to post embarrassing stories about me on social media. Parents need to think of their children and their emotional needs ahead of their own need for support or enjoyment.

2) Vaguebooking
Vaguebooking drives me crazy! You know, when someone posts something like, "What a terrible situation I'm in" or "He knows what he did" or something vague. Posting these kinds of updates are cries for attention. The person wants you to reply and say, "What's wrong?" "Tell me what happened." "Are you okay?" And then there are some people who will then respond with, "Call me and I'll tell you." That's when I want to throw my phone across the room. I'm sorry, but I think that is so rude. You're announcing a mystery and then limiting who can find out the plot. Either tell people what's going on, or don't post in the first place. Stop playing games to get attention. I also have aquaintances who post worrisome messages like, "This was the last straw," or "I can't do this anymore," and then when people express concern and offer assistance, they will respond with, "Oh, I'm okay." If you're okay, why are you posting something that sounds like you're about to attempt suicide? Again, attention seeking.

3) Asking for prayers
I know I probably sound callous and terrible, but I am not the type of person who would ask people to pray for me. Again, I see this as attention seeking behavior. Sometimes for me in depends on the request. If someone is battling cancer, and they are about to go through a round of chemo, I can understand asking for support and prayers for as easy a process as possible. When people are constantly asking for prayers, and for everything from taking a test to getting a washing machine fixed, the whole prayer thing gets on my nerves. It probably wouldn't if I believed in the power of prayer, but unfortunately, I don't.

Mmmm...am I oversharing now? :)

4) Go Fund Me accounts
I think Go Fund Me accounts can be helpful, and I'm okay with them for important matters like raising money for medical treatments, or assistance for a family displaced by a house fire, etc. But a Go Fund Me account so someone can take a trip to Disney Land? Or because a child wants an i-pad? No.

5) Controversial images
I don't visit Facebook to see images of sick, injured individuals or animals. I don't want to see that kind of stuff. I don't understand why people feel the need to post these images. I have flagged a few images that I felt were highly inappropriate - animals that had been run over, aborted fetuses, people shot and covered in blood. There is no need for these images on social media in my opinion. And then when people post these images and say, "If you believe in G-d, type 'Amen,'" - ugh!

I could go on. I have more to say on the evils of social media. Stalkers. Cyberbullying. Arguments/flame wars. But I think this post is becoming overwhelming negative. So I'll stop here. There is much I like about Facebook and social media. Keeping up with the happenings of family and friends. Enjoying pictures of beautiful sunsets, vacations, graduations, weddings, babies growing up. I like the animal videos, the funny memes, the meaningful quotes I come across, the social organizations that I learn about. There are many positive reasons to spend time on social media. Like with anything else, you have to take the good with the bad. 

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars "Famous Dances Week" 10/19/15

I know; I'm behind on my DWTS recaps. But I am skipping ahead to this week, because last night was one of my favorite episodes EVER on Dancing with the Stars. Several of the contestants absolutely nailed their interpretations of iconic dances, thanks in great measure to the fantastic choreography of their professional partners, and the meticulous attention to detail of the show's wardrobe, hair, and make-up departments. From Emma's skintight black pants to Nick's polyester and Sharna's afro, from the apparently exact replica of Alexa's "slave" outfit and everything worn on stage by Paula, Louie, and their team of dancers, the dances were brought to life again, bringing back great memories for viewers of my generation. Absolutely no cheese factor for me this week; everyone brought their "A" game, at least as far as effort was concerned, and there was absolutely no attempt to mock the dances they were given. Every performance was treated with the reverence and respect that these iconic moments in history deserve.

Three of the nine dances received perfect scores. Andy and Allison were the first to hit the jackpot, with a very challenging routine to "Good Morning" from "Singing in the Rain." I was very nervous for the pregnant Allison as she danced up and down stairs with no railings and walked over sofas that moved, but all went exceptionally well. Andy has had two great weeks in a row, and may be moving up from the lower middle of the pack.

The second perfect score of the night was earned by Bindi and Derek, who absolutely wowed the judges, the crowd, me, and themselves with a rumba to "I've Had the Time of the Life" from "Dirty Dancing." The movie is one of my all-time favorites, and this performance was just spectacular, from Derek shaking his hips like Patrick Swayze to the show-stopping lift. Everything about the performance was so reminiscent of the movie; I almost cried. Everything, except Bindi's dress was white instead of pale pink.  But I can forgive that minor detail.

The third score of 40 for the evening was awarded to Tamar and Val, who ignited the ballroom with a performance of Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation." Displayed to the home audience in black and white, just like the original video, this dance was almost an exact replica of what people of my generation watched on their televisions in the very late 80's. Tamar was Janet's doppelganger: same military outfit, hat, long ponytail, and she even lip-synched as she danced. She looked like Janet, she danced like Janet, and she more than held her own as she was front and center with a team of professional dancers.

Nick and Sharna were nearly perfect, earning a 39 for their samba-infused, crowd-goes-wild take on "You Should be Dancing" from "Saturday Night Fever". Okay, Nick didn't quite have John Travolta's strut during the beginning sequence, but when he hit the multi-colored dance floor, he gave it everything he had, including breaking into knee Russians! I absolutely loved it.

Carlos and Whitney received a score of 38 for a super hot and sexy rumba to "Pony" from "Magic Mike." Whitney intelligently took a backseat in the performance and let Carlos' gyrating abs and thrusting pelvis take center stage.  Bruno was nearly overcome, especially when Carlos handed him the remains of his ripped-off t-shirt. My review: Muy caliente! Te gusto mucho!

Even though the rest of the dancers did not earn high scores, I think they should all be commended for their effort. I actually enjoyed every performance last night.

Hayes and Emma earned four 8's for their take on "You're the One That I Want" from "Grease." This was doubly tough on Hayes, since number one, he hasn't grown up watching the movie dozens of times, and number two, Olivia Newton John was the guest judge! No pressure! I think he did well, and the trick toward the end was really exciting. Hayes is quite good at partnering, especially considering he's only fifteen.

Alexa and Mark and Alek and Lindsey both earned scores of thirty on the night. Alexa was very sexy in her "Slave for U" outfit, and uber kudos to her for dancing with a snake on live television! But Britney Spears is a phenomenal dancer, and Alexa was too halting and tentative. Great effort, though.

Unfortunately for Alek, who we must remember has absolutely no dance experience AND is not in show business, he was given a jive to Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse Rock." Really not fair, but Alek did work hard to exude more personality, and thrust his hips. I think there is a fair chance he would have struggled no matter what dance they gave him, but did they really think he was ready to impersonate the king? How many people on this planet would be prepared for that?

And finally, there was Paula and Louie. Did she do Madonna proud with her performance of "Vogue" from the 1990 Video Music Awards? No. I think Louie could have done much more with her in this. She did some simple vogue moves and glided around the stage; that was it. Paula likes to be naughty, and there were missed opportunities for her. She did pull guys to her bosom, but I also think she could have at least attempted the "bump and grind" moment, and Louie could have crawled up her dress, like he did backstage. She didn't even snap the fan, which would have been cool. But still, "Vogue" was a decent choice for her. And definitely the costumes, wigs, and make-up were spot on.

My only gripe with the episode is that sometimes the original music was used in the performances, sometimes not. I don't know why. Why didn't they use the original "You're the One That I Want," especially since Olivia Newton John was the guest judge?

I also missed Erin, but I do like Leah Remini. Her "lift" with Tom was hilarious, and I enjoyed her grinding with Carlos and Whitney.

There will be no complaining from me this week about the extra dancers. I understand they were needed to complete the iconic dances.

Great job, Dancing with the Stars! I loved the show!

librarianintx


   

  

Sports

It sure can be tough being a sports fan, especially when you live in a city, or root for certain teams that don't have a lot of success. I grew up in Houston, Texas, a town that has had the good fortune to celebrate two basketball championships, but has never had a football or baseball team win the big prize. The Astros did make it to the World Series once, but neither the Oilers or the Texans have ever played in the Super Bowl.

I am impressed by how loyal and determined Houston sports fans are. Season after season, the Astros and first the Oilers, then the Texans, have had up seasons, down seasons, exciting seasons, and disastrous seasons, but the fans continue to show up. They rejoice in the good times and commiserate in the bad times. But they don't give up. They get frustrated sometimes, but they still buy tickets, memorabilia, hot dogs, and popcorn. Houston fans are hearty souls.

I grew up with a few people who were die-hard Houston fans, but were also unfortunately sore losers. They turned me off from watching sports, because I hated dealing with their temper tantrums and angry moods when games were lost and seasons ended in failure. I enjoy the excitement of sporting events, especially when I have the opportunity to watch with people who are rooting for the same team that I am. But I don't like overly competitive individuals that can't deal well with a team loss.

I don't get angry when my team loses. But I do feel bad, for the players that worked so hard for a win, and for the fans that spent money to attend a game and were expecting to witness a successful outcome. 

The Astros are currently in the playoffs. If they win tomorrow, they will advance to the next round, the series before they would go to the World Series. When they played on Monday afternoon in Houston, they were six outs away from winning that game and moving on. In the seventh inning, they got home runs from Carlos Correa and Colby Rasmus. They were leading Kansas City 6-2. The fans were ecstatic. Success was in everyone's sights.

And then came a stunning reversal of fortune. In the eighth inning, KC got 7 runs. In the span of a few minutes, the score flipped from 6 - 2 in favor of the Astros, to 9 - 6 in favor of Kansas City. Success was in our grasp, and it was cruelly ripped away. I was so sad for the players, and the fans. Luckily, we still have one more chance to advance. But if we don't, the storied season will be over.

I endeavor to be a healthy sports fan. I squeal and clap and get excited when we win. But I don't let it ruin my day when one or more of my teams loses. And I definitely do not take my frustrations out on the people around me when I am disappointed about the outcome of a sporting event.

librarianintx

Survivor: Second Chances

Thank goodness the tribes were re-organized! I definitely think Spencer was saved because of this change. And now he is at least temporarily aligned with one of my other favorites this season: Jeremy. Together they helped their new tribe squeak by and avoid tribal council.

Why in the name of all that is holy is Abbi still in this competition?! Ugh! She is annoying, she is a troublemaker, she is dangerous. I want her off this show! I'm not a fan of PG, but I'd rather have her around than Abbi. Please contestants - send Abbi home! Write her name down and allow me the satisfaction and relief of having Jeff snuff out her torch!

librarianintx

Interesting exchange on Facebook

My brother in law posted this message on Facebook today:
"Leaving Bangkok - back to Singapore."

One of his friends responded: "Living the dream?"

My brother in law said, "Been on the road since the 23rd. Its not all that its cracked up to be. But, I do get to see some pretty cool countries, taste the food, play a few rounds of golf. Life could be worse."

His friend answered, "You are getting to do so much that many people only dream of. Your memories / life events will be fabulous."

I can actually see both sides of this conversation. I definitely understand what his friend is saying. My brother in law has seen so much of the world thanks to the job that he has. He has not only visited, but had the opportunity to spend extended periods of time in countries such as China, Saudi Arabia, UAE, and Singapore. His career has allowed him to give his wife and daughters amazing opportunities to see the world as well. My oldest niece is 23 years of age, and already she has lived in Germany for a semester, Newfoundland for two years, and visited many countries, including Israel, England, Ireland, Italy, and Czechoslovakia. She has also been to Hawaii, Mexico, and been on a cruise. She has ridden a camel, zip lined, and swam with dolphins.

But my brother in law has also had to sacrifice precious time with his wife and children. Luckily he has been able to see all three daughters graduate from high school, and he has been at home for important events like senior proms. But when you are away for weeks at a time, you do miss out on time with family. And he has also had to deal with illnesses while traveling - several bouts of food poisoning, and a gall bladder attack while he was in India. He needed to have his gall bladder removed, but he managed to make it back to the States before he had the surgery.

I have never been out of the country except for one day trip over the border to Mexico when I was about eleven years old. I doubt I ever will have an opportunity to travel much in the future, and definitely not internationally.  I don't have a coffee table full of photo books and hours of interesting memories / stories that my brother in law has. His life may be bittersweet in a way, but I would still say he is experiencing an amazing life that most people would be impressed by and envy.

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Week 3

I know - I am super late with this recap.

After the first two dances, I called my mom and said, "If this episode does not get better soon, I'm giving up." Luckily, it did improve. But it was so up and down. The main problem I had with the night was the show selections. They were all over the place. I think the selections should have either been all older shows, or all recent shows, but not a mixture of the two. For me, most of the performances from the older shows were ridiculously hokey.

Paula and Louis's dance was definitely the worst for me. That music was designed for a samba? Absolutely not! It was hokey overload. And she didn't know the routine *Shudder*

Carlos and Whitney's jazz routine was also in the cringeworthy category for me. Carlos is a hot man; I don't want to see him dressed like an old geezer. They had a few cool moves, but I just couldn't get past the hokey-ness.

At least Gary and Anna had the characters down with the Adams Family theme. His shuffling walk-dancing lent itself well to the tango, but I still think the judges were too generous with their comments. I also didn't need to know that Gary wasn't wearing underwear.

I also wasn't into Hayes and Emma's Ninja Turtles routine, and I think Hayes' costume seriously hampered his dancing.

I don't have much to say about Andy and Allison's quickstep. It was okay, but I think the American Bandstand theme would have been better paired with a jive.

The one performance from an older show that I did enjoy was Bindi and Derek's quickstep to the Jefferson's theme. I understand the judges' criticism; it was not a proper quickstep. But it was so darn fun to watch! I didn't find their dance hokey at all. Thank goodness they were not in blackface!

With this episode, I don't think you necessarily had to be a viewer of these shows in order to enjoy the dances, but I think it helped in some cases. The main example of this thought to me would be Nick and Sharna's Viennese Waltz to the theme from Downton Abbey, which for me was the dance of the night. I do watch the show, and Nick was the perfect Matthew Crowley. The extra dancers were unnecessary and the chandelier was in the way for part of the dance, but it was an absolutely beautiful performance. They tied for highest scores of the evening. Well deserved.

My second favorite dance of the night was Tamar and Val's tango. I have never watched Mad Men, but I know enough about the show to understand that the song fit the dance, and the costumes and Tamar's hair and make-up were a perfect representation of the show.

Alexa and Mark tied with Nick and Sharna for best dance of the night. Again, I have never watched Breaking Bad, but I understood that the dance was an innovative as the show. I bet it was hard to dance in those hazmat suits!

I was also impressed with Alek and Lindsey's tango to the theme from True Blood. It was a sexy dance, with proper technique.

Paula and Louis, and surprisingly, Andy and Allison were the bottom two couples, but of course it was Kim and Tony who went home because Kim was unable to compete due to health reasons. That's a shame, because I think Kim could have improved and possibly lasted for a few more weeks. 

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances Week 2

I know...I'm always late in talking about shows.

Spencer was almost voted off! How did that happen? Why was almost everyone aligned with Abbie? I just don't get it. Everyone on that tribe should have been voting her out!

Sigh. I'm afraid its going to be a long season for me.
But I'll keep watching.
Even when I want to throw something at the tv.

Keep fighting Spencer! Don't give up!

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars recap, Week 2 Nite 2

Before I discuss the wack-a-doodle TV theme night, here is a quick recap of last week's Tuesday night episode. I'm sorry this recap is so late. Honestly, I wasn't jazzed about the episode, and I'm not all into writing a recap of it. With the exception of one great performance and one most improved couple, everyone else either stagnated, or took a step backward.

I see two main problems with last week's episode. Number one, two dances in as many nights on week two is too much for these celebrities. Most of them were not even prepared for one dance. Plus there was the added pressure of these new dancers wanting to do their best for their professional partners, who were representing their hometowns.

The winners of the night by a landslide were Tamar and Val, who danced a funky, bouncy, unique charleston. They were energetic, with great musicality, and I enjoyed every second of it. They were rewarded with the highest total score of the night: 25.

The most improved couple was a big surprise: Victor and Karina. They danced a proper, decent rumba, and for once Victor was not dressed in a costume designed to get laughs. Their height difference is still an issue in taking their dancing seriously, but I was impressed, and so were the judges.Their scores were not high, but definitely a jump from the night and week before.

Taking a step back this night were Carlos and Whitney, Alexa and Mark, and Kim and Tony. Kim returned to her turtle pace of dancing, and her frame needed work. The judges criticized Carlos' "squattiness" and said he made some mistakes. Alexa was praised for her classy rumba, but I think the judges felt the choreography was difficult for her. The only difference between me and the judges regarding these three couples was that I thought Carlos was muy caliente, and I wasn't paying attention to his cha cha technique.

Fan favorites Bindi and Derek and Alek and Lindsey were  satisfactory, but not as good as the previous evening. Bindi and Derek got dinged by the Lift Police (aka Carrie Ann) for Bindi's feet leaving the floor during their waltz. Alek and Lindsey's quickstep was decent, but not great. Nick and Sharna did improve slightly from Monday night, but the judged still weren't wowed.

Hayes was criticized for his feet and his frame during a quickstep. I criticized the fact that he wore sneakers. And Andy's lifts made me quite nervous during his contemporary routine. Allison was emphatic that she felt completely comfortable and safe, but for myself and the judges, the lifts were tentative, marred the flow of the dance, and caused more than a little concern.

Continuing their residency at the bottom of the leaderboard were Paula and Louis, and Gary and Anna. Paula didn't know her steps, and all Gary could do was step. Paula earned an 18 and Gary scored a 15.

As we know, the elimination was a surprise, and unfortunate, because Victor and Karina had their best dance so far on Tuesday night. Gary and Anna had joined them in the bottom two, and they should have been the ones to take a final bow.

librarianintx 

Amazing Quote

"It is not necessary to believe in G-d to be a good person. In a way, the traditional notion of G-d is outdated. One can be spiritual but not religious. It is not necessary to go to church and give money - for many, nature can be a church. Some of the best people in history did not believe in G-d, while some of the worst deeds were done in His name."

Difficult for me to believe who uttered these words - Pope Francis. Incredible, right? A pope saying that you don't have to believe in G-d? I am so impressed by him, and not simply because of this quote. I am amazed by his progressiveness, his dedication, his humbleness, his inclusive nature. He believes in climate change, he has expressed support for LGBT rights, he understands the plight of immigrants, he wants everyone to help the homeless, the sick, the needy. He turned down lunch with the Washington elite yesterday so he could not only eat with people who are homeless, he served them as well!

#bestpopeever

librarianintx

Survivor: Second Chance Week 1

I'm not planning to write Survivor recaps this season because I don't have time, but I am disappointed that Vytas was the first contestant to leave. I like him. Luckily I still have several people to root for - Spencer, Joe, Woo, and Jeremy. Unfortunately, Abi was not eliminated last night, and Kass and Sherin are still there as well.

Three of my four favorites had a good showing last night. Woo nabbed the rice, Spencer lit the torches and tried to win the immunity challenge for his team when Kelly W. failed in her attempt, and Joe DID secure the win by fashioning the pole that was long and strong enough to grab the key to light the final torch.

For me, Abi was definitely the most annoying contestant last night. She needs to go.

librarianintx

Big Brother Finale

Yea Steve!
I am so happy he won!

Steve's success was a combination of skill and luck. That last HOH competition was SO hard! It was truly a guessing game, and Steve was fortunate that he guessed correctly one more time than Vanessa. I have to wonder about the answers some of the houseguests gave - were they truthful? Did Shelly really consider her HOH win more important than meeting Clay? I'm suspicious.

I firmly believe that if Steve had taken Vanessa to the final two, she would have beaten him. The jury clearly respected her game play and felt she deserved to be in the finals. Their questions showed that they were not big fans of either Liz's or Steve's games. I have a feeling it was Steve's nervous, rambling, but ultimately effective final address to the jury that earned him the win. And deservedly so, in my opinion. Yes, he had a slow start. But in the end he won key HOH's and he was responsible for sending both Julia and Vanessa to the jury. He played a decent social game, and he was in the Scamper Squad alliance, but he didn't have the protection of Austin that Liz had for most of the season. Liz had more than a showmance to keep her safe; she had a showmance AND a twin. And Vanessa also did a lot to protect Liz.

My favorite moment of the night, besides Steve winning, was Jason's spot on read of Vanessa. Go boy! You said it exactly right. Vanessa played the best game of the season, but I couldn't root for her, because she didn't own her game. She begged and apologized and cried and allowed herself to look unstable. She did not act like a poker player. Her strategy was effective, at least for most of the game, but it wasn't attractive, and I don't think it won her many fans. She got so much blood on her hands, and in the end she would up with nothing. I feel bad for her in a way, but definitely not in a monetary sense, since she bragged that she's made $4 million dollars as a poker player. There were so many people in the game this season that need the money more than her.

I had my fingers and toes crossed that Jason would win fan favorite. He made the top three, but James took home the $25,000 prize. I'm okay with that. I like James a lot too.

Even though this wasn't the best season in my opinion, I'm still feeling the post Big Brother blues. The show is such a time commitment, and I can get so invested in the people and so interested in the game play, that there is a letdown when we say goodbye to the house and its inhabitants. But the fall tv season has begun; there is no time to mourn a show!

Congrats again Steve!

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars Recap Week 2

Last night was dubbed "Hometown Glory" nite, and was the first of two nights of competition this week for the celebrities and their professional dance partners. Two routines in one week, on only the second week of the season, is a lot to ask of these stars. Luckily, a few of them were able to manage the stress and shine on the dance floor.

The first great performance of the evening was owned by Alexa and Mark. They danced a salsa, and Alexa was definitely channeling her latina roots. The number was hot and sexy, with some amazing spins and spicy moves. Alexa earned a total score of 24, which put her in a three way tie for the night.

Tamar and Val also earned a 24 for their cha cha, performed to the song "We are Family" by Sister Sledge. Everything about the number worked for me, from Tamar's attitude and on point cha cha moves, to the costume and Val's choreography. Because of the name of the song, I didn't even mind the extra dancers in the routine (just this one time though!) The judges were equally impressed, saying that the number was a show stopper, and Tamar was absolutely in her element.

Carlos and Whitney were the third couple to score a 24 last night. They danced a foxtrot, and I give Carlos high marks for his partnering skills and the romantic, leading man persona he exemplified in the dance.

Bindi and Derek were once again the high scorers of the evening, receiving a 25 for their high energy, metal-infused tango to an AC/DC song. Unfortunately the Dancing with the Stars crew had a difficult time keeping up with their routine, as there were a few odd camera pans, but the crowd went wild and the judges, especially Carrie Ann, were full of praise.

The most improved award would have to go to Kim and Tony. Her quickstep last night was miles better than her labored salsa from week one. She earned a score of 19, and a lot of positive comments from the judges.

I even saw a bit of improvement from Gary and Anna last night. Their foxtrot could not be called good, but you can tell that he was trying. His scores rose from last week; he earned an 18 on Monday night.

Alek and Lindsey, and Hayes and Emma were two couples who earned more praise from the judges than I felt they deserved. Alek and Lindsey were definitely the better of the two, and I still like him. I just felt the routine had too many lifts and focused too much on Lindsey, which of course is not Alek's fault. I did not care for Hayes' motorcross theme, and I felt their foxtrot was just okay.

The two couples who took a step backward this week were Nick and Sharna, and Andy and Allison. Nick slipped during his jive to "Boogie Woogie Buggle Boy," a song that I felt was way too old for him, and the stumble caused him to lose time during the remainder of his routine. Andy and Allison were also off time in their jive, and some of the tricks were barely completed and made me nervous that someone was going to get hurt.

This leaves the three couples that I felt showed little to no improvement this week: Paula and Louis, Victor and Karina, and Chaka and Keo. Louis' choreography was too difficult for Paula, and although their scores were higher than last week, I still did not enjoy the dance. Victor and Karina have apparently decided to be the comic relief of the ballroom. Their jive was a hot mess, as was their salsa from week one, but at least both dances were entertaining. And poor Chaka and Keo. She somehow managed to smile and glow throughout her foxtrot, but it was evident that she did not remember the choreography. They earned a 15, the lowest score of the night. 

In a rushed elimination ceremony, Gary and Anna, and Chaka and Keo were named as the bottom two couples, when combining judges scores and viewer votes. Sadly, Chaka and Keo were the first pair eliminated this season. Keo's unlucky streak continues. I would have rather seen Gary and Anna wave goodbye, but Chaka's departure was certainly not unexpected.

Night two happens tonight, and another contestant will be eliminated from the competition. Hopefully I will have time to post a recap tomorrow.

librarianintx

Big Brother - SPOILERS

Remember how I said there was no way that Vanessa and Steve would be the final two?

To quote former Texas governor Rick Perry - "Oops." :-)

Austin can only blame himself for his ouster on the surprise elimination Tuesday night. He knew Vanessa was dangerous. He knew she lied over and over again. Yet he continued to align with her. He didn't get her out when he had the chance. And now he's languishing in the jury house, thinking of what could have been.

I am rooting for Steve. I have not enjoyed Vanessa's game play - all of the theatrics and making up stories about people to get them kicked out. She has been effective, but her style is not fun to watch in my opinion. Steve has made some boneheaded moves, but he has finally kicked his game into high gear. Okay, at least one of his HOH wins was dumb luck. But I think he has achieved enough to deserve the win. Unfortunately, I don't think the jury agrees with me.

And who do I hope will win the fan favorite award? I'm not voting, but I hope Jason wins. Meg might take it, though. Or Steve. Possibly even Johnny. James was a lot of fun to watch this season as well. Will be interesting to see who people vote for.

librarianintx

My Dancing with the Stars recap, Week 1

First let me begin with two corrections from my previous DWTS post. I do know who Andy Grammer is; at least I know his hit song. And now I also know who Alek Skarlatos is, one of the men who subdued a terrorist on a train in France recently.

And now, on with the recap. Rather than talking about each contestant, I will be giving my opinion on the best and worst moments of the show:

Winning dance style of the night: The Jive
Three contestants danced the Jive: husband and wife Carlos and Alexa Penavega, and Bindi Irwin, and all three were very successful. Their jives were performed with great technique, and bucketfuls of energy, enthusiasm, and personality. Of the three, Bindi got the most love from the audience, and the judges. Her overall score of 24 tied for highest of the night, and the crowd went wild for her.

Runner up dance style of the night: The Foxtrot
Of the three contestants who danced the Foxtrot, Internet sensation Hayes Grier, singer Andy Grammer, and hero Alek Skarlatos, I would say Alek took the prize. The judges were more impressed with Hayes than I was, Andy's dance was decent, especially thanks to his partner Allison, but we all found Alek's dance to be enchanting, with the music and Lindsey's choreography blending together beautifully.

Losing dance style of the night: The Salsa
Unfortunately in most cases, the cha cha didn't fare much better, but both of the contestants who danced the Salsa, Victor Espinoza and Kim Zolziak-Biermann, had a rough time. Kim received the lowest scores of the night, which was unfortunate, because I think she has it in her to be a good dancer, but she was incredibly nervous. I have to say, I'm quite surprised that Dancing with the Stars foisted both the Salsa and the Quickstep on the contestants in the first week! Those are both incredibly hard styles to master.

Surprisingly good performance of the night:
This is not to say that I thought Tamar Braxton would be a bad dancer. I'm saying her performance was a surprise because she was given the dreaded Quickstep, and she and Val made it work! They weren't perfect of course, but they had the elements you look for in a Quickstep: speed, footwork, good use of the dance space, and I thought she had a decent frame for a first dance. She tied with Carlos Penavega for second highest set of scores of the night: 23.

My cringeworthy moments of the evening:

1) Paula Deen's slow, nervous Quickstep wasn't good, but her comment about almost soiling her underwear was crude and TMI.

2) Apparently many people were amused by Gary Busey's antics and incomprehensible ramblings, but I found both his dance and his post-performance interactions with Tom and Erin to be painful and uncomfortable. I have to say, though, that I just love both Tom and Erin; they can make the strangest happenings in the ballroom bearable with humor and a caring spirit.

Sweethearts of the ballroom: Bindi Irwin and Alek Skarlatos

Of the two contestants that I haven't mentioned yet, singer Chaka Khan and Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, Nick was much more successful with the Cha Cha. His dance was infused with some hip hop and boy band moves, and I was entertained. I also enjoyed watching all three judges fangirling over Nick. Nick tied with Bindi Irwin for highest scores of the night. Chaka's dance, conversely, was a hot mess, but at least she seemed to have a good time. Unfortunately, I don't think third season will be the charm for Keo.

Two more observations:

1) The opening number was a showstopper, featuring thousands of extras during the outdoor filming, and lots of glitz and fanfare. Too bad most of the dances didn't live up to the hype of the show's beginning.

2) I found it very strange that Len's absence was given so little time and attention. Tom simply said, "Len won't be judging this season," and that was it. Twenty one seasons, Len as head judge for every season, and that is all the recognition he receives? I hope this means he's not retiring, that he is only taking a season off. If he is retiring, he deserves way more of a goodbye than that.

Overall, the dancing was pretty good, but I think my expectations were a bit too high. I'm hoping to see some improvements in week 2. Oh, and my pet peeve from the previous season continued last night: I do NOT want extra dancers in these individual performances! Extra dancers should be reserved for the trio dances and the freestyles. You're jumping the shark, DWTS - quit it!

librarianintx

 

Dancing with the Stars Season 21

The new season starts tonight, and I am so excited! Here is a quick breakdown of how I am looking forward to seeing, who I don't know, and who I wish had not been selected:

This season there are several contestants that I've never heard of. Here is a list, with their professional partners:
Hayes Grier and Emma
Andy Grammer and Allison
Alek Skarlatos and Lindsey
Carlos Pena and Whitney
Alexa Vega and Mark

I guess it's a sign that I'm getting old that I don't know so many of the contestants this season.

Who am I most excited to see?

Bindi Irwin and Derek
I think they will look great together. Bindi has a great personality and a backstory that will make people root for her. She is young, which is not always an asset on DWTS, but Zendaya was young, and she made it to runner up in her season. Shawn Johnson won her season when she was still a teenager. Bindi has some dance experience, so we'll see if that will translate well to ballroom.

Chaka Khan and Keo
Another couple that I think will look great together. Keo has had bad luck with partners, so hopefully third season is the charm for him. Chaka is a singer, so with any luck she will have rhythm.

Nick Carter and Shauna
I love me a Backstreet Boy. They should be fun together.

Victor Espinoza and Karina
Victor is a jockey, so he is tiny! I wondered which professional dancer they would pair him with, and I expected it to be Whitney, who I think is the shortest female dancer on DWTS. Karina is not petite, especially in heels. Their pairing should be interesting, not only because of the height difference, but also because of the accents.

Kim Zolciak-Biermann and Tony
I can't wait to see the outfits and wigs/hair extensions!

Tamar Braxton and Val
I don't know that much about her, but I think there could be fireworks between her and Val.

Sigh. And here is the short list of people I am not thrilled to see:

Gary Busey and Anna
This pairing just makes me nervous. I think he could be unpredictable and hard to manage. I also don't think he'll be a good dancer. But maybe he'll prove me wrong.

Paula Deen and Louis
I think she is a racist and I don't want to watch any show that she is a part of. But I am not going to boycott one of my favorite shows because of her. I am disappointed that DWTS selected her. But hopefully she won't last long.

Finally, I had heard a rumor that Bethany Hamilton might be on the show, but unfortunately such is not the case. She is the surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack a few years ago. I watched the "Amazing Race" two seasons ago strictly because she and her husband Adam were contestants. They came in third, but Bethany was a fierce competitor, completing challenges with ease that many contestants with two arms struggled with. I also loved how positive she and Adam were. They never fought with each other or played dirty, and they approached every situation with a calm, sunny, yet determined attitude. I would love to see her try dancing. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. Maybe she will be selected for another season.

I'm ready for Season 21 - bring it! :)
librarianintx

Big Brother - SPOILERS

Probably about two weeks or so left in the season, and the show finally got interesting! At last, someone besides Vanessa is playing the game to win it. Steve, I was so mad at you when you won HOH and put up Meg and Jackie, one of the most boneheaded moves in the game. They were both in your alliance, and neither one of them had any power in the house. What were you thinking? But you have redeemed yourself this week by doing what no one in the house has yet managed to do - break up the Austwins. No, they are not as powerful as Vanessa, mainly because between the three of them they don't have either the intellectual capacity or the game play that she has. But where their strength lies is in their numbers - three votes as opposed to one. After tonight, they will be down to two. There is no way around it. Thanks in part to Vanessa, who gave Julia terrible advice and she was stupid enough to take it, Austin won POV and took himself off the block, so Steve smartly replaced him with Julia. I guess it didn't matter though. Either way, someone from that three person alliance is going home this week. It would help Steve and Johnny's game for Liz to go home I think, since she and Austin are in a showmance.

The problem remains, however, that Vanessa is still in the game. Steve would be in a much better position if someone had managed to eliminate her by now. Vanessa is the most dangerous person in the house, and she deserves to win it if she makes it to the finale. At this point I think Austin or Julia are the only two people who would nominate her. Steve and Johnny both think they are working with her. If by some miracle Steve and Vanessa are the final two, which I could not imagine that possibility a few weeks ago, I don't know if the jurors will feel that Steve did enough to win. Would they reward Vanessa for her game play, or punish her for all the havoc she wreaked during the season?

librarianintx

So You Think You Can Dance

Yawn.

I feel bad to write this, but I'm glad the season is almost over. I simply was not into the show this year, for multiple reasons. I miss Mary. I lamented the dearth of ballroom routines. I did not care for the "stage vs street" format. And most importantly, I found the choreography severely lacking this season. The dancers were good, and most of their personalities compelled you to root for them. But the routines were lackluster. There was not a single dance that made me want to watch it again. And usually I am all about downloading the routines from youtube and watching them over and over. Not this time.

I wasn't so bored that I stopped watching. But I didn't have a favorite this year. I favored the street dancers over stage. Once the two b boys left, I liked everyone else on the street side and hated for anyone to go home. I didn't dislike the stage dancers; I just felt the street dancers were more interesting and versatile. My favorite stage dancer is Jim, and I felt he was completely and utterly robbed of his place in the finale. My favorite street dancers are JaJa, Virgil, and JJ. Even though I don't have a favorite, I would like to see JaJa win the competition.

I like Jason Derulo a lot as a singer and dancer, but not so much as a judge on this show. I think he was trying too hard all season to prove he was knowledgeable about all kinds of dance. I would much rather see Adam Shankman as a permanent judge, or have more good guest judges like Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Christina Applegate. To end this on a positive note, at least Paula didn't annoy me like I expected she would.

librarianintx

Sugar

All the articles these days are screaming about how bad sugar is for you. Don't consume it, avoid it, rid it from your body.

I don't want to give up sugar, especially chocolate. I enjoy it. I look forward to my afternoon snack of cookies or brownies. I'm excited when co-workers occasionally bring in donuts, cookies, or cake to share. Sometimes I pause and wonder if I should be eating sugar so early in the day. I realize that the treat will probably make me hyper and then I'll crash later. But I eat the donut, cookie, or cake anyway. Sometimes as early as 8 am.

I don't feel like I'm addicted to sugar. I occasionally go for a day without some form of chocolate. Sometimes I don't have time for a snack. I don't believe I have withdrawal symptoms or anything like that. I just enjoy chocolate. I would miss it if I gave it up. I have no desire to do that. But I want to be healthy.

I have a very close friend who is the healthiest person I know. He is a vegan. He does not smoke or drink. And he does not eat any kind of sugar. No refined sugar, brown sugar, honey, molasses, nothing. And no aspartame of course. I respect him, I am in awe of his self-control. But I don't want to limit myself that way, even though part of me does want to because I want to be healthy as I can.

Is sugar actually that bad for you? we've been consuming sugar for centuries. Why is there is much negativity about it lately?

Maybe at some point I'll try to eliminate sugar from my diet. If I ever become diabetic, I would have to make dietary changes. My mom is now pre-diabetic, and she has made many changes to her diet, although she has not given up sugar completely. She has cut down on sugar, and is severely limiting her carb intake.

But for now, I'm trying to eat as healthy as I can. I know I need to eat less bread and carbs, and more vegetables and fruit. And I need to get more exercise.

Having said all this, I really want an oreo. :) I've had two today, but I want another one. 

I feel like I have good self-control, but not when it comes to chocolate.

librarianintx

Dreams

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately. I've been blessed with remarkably good sleep for a number of years, even with my need for nighttime ventilation ( a bipap machine), so my sleep struggles have obviously been difficult to deal with. I usually fall asleep quickly, but I've been waking up at various times in the night and having trouble getting back to sleep. Sometimes this is due to stomach aches and indigestion most likely caused by the bipap. Other times I'm waking up because the bipap mask is leaking air, or is causing discomfort because I have it on too tight. And then sometimes I'm waking up from bad dreams.

I don't need a therapist to tell me why I'm suffering from bad dreams. The dreams vary from simply wacky to downright scary, but they all have a common theme: a complete lack of control.

I don't always remember the dreams the next day, but some of them are so unnerving that they stay with me for much of the next day. But I don't usually remember them for more than a day, luckily. Still, the feeling of not having control in my life is something that is not just occurring in my dreams.

Last night the dream was just more odd than scary. Some woman I didn't know was eating my food. I don't know where I was, or where the food came from. I just know it was my food, and the woman was eating it. And I kept yelling at her and begging her not to eat my food, and she just kept calmly eating it. And the more she ate, the more frustrated and upset I became. But I couldn't do anything to stop her. She completely ignored me.

So I followed her to her house, after she finished eating my food. And I kept asking her why she did it, but she never answered me. When we got to her house, she cooked a big batch of something with shrimp in it; some kind of shrimp stir fry. And it smelled delicious. She offered me some, but I didn't eat it, because I was still mad at her. And then I woke up.

Yesterday was a nice day. I went to a friend's birthday gathering, and then another friend came over for the evening. I don't have many opportunities to be social these days, so I was happy to spend time with people. Still, I always feel a certain lack of control in these situations. Because I don't drive, I couldn't decide what time I went to the party, and what time I came home. When you're at a party, you do what the majority wants to do, or what the party organizer wants to do. When the birthday boy wanted to watch some music videos by a very strange band, there isn't much you can do but sit there and watch. I mean, you can leave, except if you're me, you can't leave because the person you came with wasn't ready to leave. And later, back at home, you watch a show that you've never seen before and honestly don't care about, because that's what your friend wants to watch, and you know that she wouldn't be interested in what you would want to watch. 

I am a people pleaser, and I do what other people want to do, because I want them to be happy, and because I can't handle conflict. My needs, interests, and desires almost always take a backseat to what the people around me want. Obviously there is give and take in every relationship, and compromise is important. I'm not saying I should get my way every time. But I do think I should stand up for myself more, and say what I want and what I need. Most of the time it doesn't bother me to put myself second. I like making people happy, and keeping the peace. But I'm beginning to think that my people pleasing personality and not taking enough time for the hobbies and pursuits that I enjoy are affecting my dreams.

librarianintx

Spending Money

It's scary how much fun spending money can be. There can be a high associated with it. This year I have been more careful than ever with my money. I freaked out when our apartment complex increased our rent by $80 several months ago. I had been pinching pennies even before that, but when that happened I started spending even less. I keep a list every month of how much I spend and what I'm spending my money on. If I buy a bag of chips, I write it down.

I changed my buying habits at the grocery store. I purchase roma tomatoes now; they are the cheapest. Instead of saltines or Ritz, I buy a bag of oyster crackers for $1. HEB bread is cheaper than Mrs. Baird's. I try to buy only what I can eat in a week; I don't stock up. I make a list and I stick to it. I eat a lot of beans and rice. And hot cereal. When I cook, I make a pot of chili or spaghetti that will last me about a week. I eat out rarely if I'm paying. One thing I allow myself is a trip to Central Market, where I buy a prepared container of chicken salad, pasta salad, and fresh fruit. The container costs less than $6, and is the perfect size for me for lunch.

So I have been super careful so far this year. Plus I got a small raise at work, and I was scoring tests online for a few months to make some extra money. All of this has resulted in a savings every month. Some months I have been able to save several hundred dollars. That makes me feel proud and relieved. But it also makes me feel too comfortable, like it would be okay to maybe relax my strict spending a bit. I don't want to think that way. I want to continue saving. And I want to find more ways of making extra money.

I'm doing okay right now on a month to month basis. And I'm not completely denying myself. Not at all. I bought several dresses this summer. I've been out to eat a few times. I even bought an inexpensive netbook - my wonderful friends bought it and are letting me pay it off in monthly installments, which helps greatly. But I worry about if and when I have a big expense - if I get sick and need medicine, or a medical test, or even surgery. I just went to the dentist and was relieved that all was well - no cavities and the co-pay was wonderfully low. But anything can happen. I could fall and break something. I have insurance, but the cost would still be very high. So I have to remain vigilant.

But there is something else I want - a new i-pod. I had a great one, but it died, and for now I have a hand-me-down from my sister's family. It doesn't hold much music, won't sync audiobooks for some reason, and only holds a charge for about an hour. I told myself if I made some extra money this summer, and if I went to the dentist and all went well with that, then I would allow myself the luxury of a new i-pod. I DID make some extra money this summer, and I DID go to the dentist. I have more than enough saved this year to buy the i-pod. But I'm still nervous about making the purchase. What if I get it, and then something goes wrong and I need the money I just used for something frivolous? What if I buy it, and the excitement I derive from getting it for myself makes me want to spend money on other luxuries? I use my smartphone a lot and it is several years old; maybe I should spend the money on a new phone instead?

A top of the line i-pod is over $400. That is a lot of money to spend on myself. That is twice as much as the netbook I'm paying off. I have to remember that the holidays are approaching, plus two nieces are graduating from college soon, and one of those two nieces is also getting married next May. So a lot of gift-buying is in my fairly immediate future.

So there is both excitement and nervousness when it comes to money, and I'm working on finding a balance between saving and spending. I probably will get the i-pod. And I will feel happy and proud and guilty all at the same time. That's me!

librarianintx

My Everest

"We understand that not everybody can climb Everest; but everybody has an Everest to climb."

I would say I have several Everests in my life. To say I conquered one of them yesterday would be too much of a stretch, but I at least made some progress.

I went to the dentist.

To say going to the dentist is like climbing Mt. Everest sounds so absurd. For most people, a trip to the dentist is a normal part of health care. I don't know anyone who necessarily enjoys it, but you do it and it's not a big deal.

It's a big deal for me.

I have a long history with my mouth. Multiple tooth extractions, braces twice, gum surgery, major reconstructive jaw surgery in the attempt to correct a congenital deformity, and then at least two minor surgeries to remove infected (or presumed infected) hardwire from the jaw surgery. Along the way I encountered nice dental professionals and not-so-nice dental professionals. Surgeries, pain, hours in a dental chair, dealing with the various personalities of dental personnel, losing the ability to chew for a time, and a lifetime of unhappiness with my appearance have all resulted in a fairly significant dental phobia. Add to all that excess saliva as a by-product of weakened facial muscles from my neuromuscular disease which results in an aspiration concern, and dizzy spells when I'm leaned back in a chair from my inner ear disorder, and hopefully you get the picture of why a trip to the dentist is such a nervewracking experience for me. Finding a dentist and hygienist who can work with me and deal my issues has been a task years in the making.

I have seen a pediatric dentist since the age of ten. He saw me through all the rough years of braces and surgeries. His staff knew me and most of them were patient with me. But once I moved away to attend graduate school and eventually became a resident of Austin, getting back to Houston to see this dentist became a challenge. Plus, I had no dental insurance, so as an adult my visits were costing me $200+

Finally a few years ago, I set up dental insurance through work, and with much trepidation I made an appointment with a well-known dental chain. My main reasoning was that the dental office was about a mile from my apartment.

The exam, cleaning, and subsequent filing weren't a terrible experience. They tried to work with me. But I just did not feel comfortable there. So until yesterday I have not seen a dentist in probably two years or more.

A few months ago, I started researching dentists in the area. I performed a google search for the term "special needs dentist." I found several who mentioned patients with special needs on their web sites. Some were pediatric dentists; some were family dentists. Unfortunately, none of them accepted my insurance. At that point I was quite discouraged. I was psyching myself up to go, I was focusing on positivity, but since money is a big issue, I needed to find a dentist on my plan.

In the end, I took a shot in the dark, and hoped for the best. This dentist did not mention special needs on his web site, and I only found one review on the Internet about him, but it was a positive one. He is a private practice dentist, so I was hoping I would feel more comfortable with someone who was not part of a big, chain-style operation. I was hoping to avoid a large office where I was one of several people in a row of chairs in a huge room. My orthodontist's office is like that; luckily I do not have to see him often.

So long story short, I have a new dentist, and I am happy and relieved. I was the only patient during most of my time there, and the dentist performed the cleaning himself, with an assistant. The x-rays were as challenging as ever, but the rest of the appointment went very smoothly. The dentist was friendly and talkative, which made the time pass quickly, and for a first visit, after hours of agonizing anticipatory anxiety, I was remarkably calm during the cleaning. He adhered to my needs without needing a lot of explanation and seemingly with no impatience. He gave me enough opportunities to swallow, and he and his assistant did well with limiting the amount of water and instruments in my mouth. He was swift, but thorough, and not at all rough.

The further good news is that the co-pay was amazing low. At that price, and with the good level of care I received, plus my surprising comfort during the cleaning, at this point I plan to see him twice a year. A remarkable turn of events for me. I am very pleased. And proud of myself for making the appointment and being brave enough to follow through. For anyone else, it was a visit to the dentist, no big deal. For me, it was quite a mountain to climb. I arrived home worn out and a little dizzy, but definitely triumphant.

Have I conquered my dental phobia? As I stated at the beginning, I wouldn't say I reached the summit of this Everest. But maybe I'm close. I credit the dentist and his staff, who were patient and made me feel comfortable. I also need to credit myself, for focusing on the positive, and for persevering to find a dentist that is a good fit for me. I am finally realizing that even with all my issues, physical and emotional, I deserve to be treated well by health care professionals and their staff, and it is both my right and my responsibility to require nothing less than respect, understanding, and the best of their professional abilities.

librarianintx

What makes me happy

Many things make me happy:
A refreshing shower
Relaxing with a cup of tea and a book before bed
Being organized
Buying a new book with a gift card

and fun pictures of dogs, like this one...

You can't help but smile and giggle. He is currently my background picture on my work computer, and he makes me happy all day long.

This is what life is all about...finding what makes you happy, and surrounding yourself with what you enjoy.

librarianintx

A small accomplishment

I know my life would be more satisfying and fulfilling if I had more confidence in myself. Why do I have so little faith in my abilities? Why, for example, does a simple night out with friends become such a crisis for me? All day yesterday I tried to talk myself out of going to visit friends who are in town from California. I haven't seen them in at least three years. They are leaving today, so last night was our only opportunity.

"I'm already too tired, and going will only make me more tired."
"They are staying way south, so my ride will be long."
"Its a week night, and I rarely go out on a week night."
"Mom is coming for a visit starting tomorrow, and I need every ounce of energy I have to keep up with her."

On and on and on. All kinds of excuses. So many reasons to cancel. My mind was set to overdrive.

And then what happened?
I went.
And I survived!
In fact, I more than survived. I succeeded.

I arrived home from work around 3 pm. In an hour's time, I ate, washed the dishes, made a snack to take with me, laid out my clothes for today, prepared my food for today, brushed my teeth, and put on make-up.  My ride came around 4:15. I arrived at my friends' rental house around 5:30. I stayed until after 9:30. I enjoyed my time with my friends, and their friends. I socialized. I wasn't a wallflower. I contributed to conversations. I didn't obsess about needing to get home.

When I arrived home, my chores were already done. I didn't have to prepare anything. All I had to do was wind down, brush my teeth, and change clothes. I went to bed later than my self-imposed bedtime, but not excessively late. And I got up this morning as well (or with as much difficulty) as usual. I don't feel any more tired than usual. If anything, I think I have a bit more pep. At least emotional energy. Because I didn't disappoint myself or my friends. I did what I set out to do, and as usual, it wasn't as hard as I tried to convince myself that it would be.

This happens to me time and again. When will it click in my head that I can do more than I think I can do? When will I find some belief in myself? Why do I constantly psych myself out?

librarianintx

Quote

Saw this quote on Facebook last night, and it made me cry:

"I hope you know you're capable & brave & significant, even when you feel like you're not."

This pretty much sums up my life most of the time. I don't feel like I'm any of those things. But every day I get up and I keep trying. I search within myself for strength, strive for accomplishment, and yearn for balance and contentment. I understand that every day is a gift, and what I want most is to feel worthy and useful. Our time on earth is precious and limited, and I want to know I'm living a purposeful existence.

librarianintx

My Long-Term Goals in Life

I think my long-term goals are simple, and certainly achievable:

1) Be motivated
Motivation leads to productivity. Motivation lessens or even eliminates procrastination. Productivity usually results in success. So if I can muster motivation, then procrastination will be no longer hinder me, and I will find the success that means so much to me.

2) Create balance
I am working hard on this one. I desire to find balance between helping others, which feels right and good to me, and making enough time in the day for myself and what I enjoy. If I use all my energy and hours doing for others, then I fear I will become frustrated and resentful. I need to continue discovering what I like to do, and make space in my life for those endeavors. I also need to achieve balance between work and play, and between rest and activity.

3) Live in the moment
This is my mantra now. When I begin to ruminate about the future, or obsess about the past, I say out loud to myself, "Stop. Live in the moment. Be in the here and now. And right this minute, you are fine. You are okay."

4) Avoid comparisons
Hard to do when you are raised by a parent who makes it her life's work to draw comparisons. My hair will never be as pretty as my sister's, I will never achieve the writing success that my niece has already in her young life, and I will never have the money or the physical ability to travel. See how hard it is not to do it? For me, ending the compulsion to compare ties in perfectly with the other three goals. When I'm not comparing and constantly finding myself lacking, then I have more motivation, I am achieving balance, and I am living in the moment. I have to be okay with the knowledge that I will never be attractive, I probably will not have the opportunity or ability to travel, and I will not have a lot of money. This does not mean I will not work towards financial security or the possibility of travel. It means I will be grateful for what I have, proud of my accomplishments, and pleased for the good fortunes of others without bitterness and jealousy.

Hey, this is my eleventh post for the month of July. Short-term goal met...and exceeded! Yea me! :)

librarianintx

My new netbook

Happy is all plugged in, connected to the Internet, and getting comfortable in her new surroundings, on the recently cleared off desk in my bedroom.

I think she will feel at home here.

I'm excited to have her.

This is just a brief check in. I'm not counting this as one of the ten blogs for the month of July.

Or wait. Maybe I will count it. Because at the moment I'm dealing with a bout of neurosis. Happy will spend most of her time sitting on my desk. But I also want to start eating at my desk, so I can watch tv while I eat. In all honesty, I already sit in my room to watch tv and eat, but since my desk was such a mess, and I don't like to sit on my bed to eat, I have been sitting on the floor to eat. It doesn't feel good to sit on the floor to eat, from a physical or emotional standpoint. My legs hurt when I sit on the floor, and I have trouble getting up from the floor. It also makes me feel like a child to sit on the floor to eat.  Sometimes I sit at the dining room table, but I get bored eating there, because I'm by myself and it takes me so long to eat. I sometimes look at Facebook or other web sites while I eat, but I'm not someone who can read a book while I eat. I have to concentrate too much on chewing and swallowing due to my disability.

But I also don't want food near my new netbook. I'm usually neurotic when I get something new, especially something expensive and electronic. I don't want it to get dirty or messed up. I don't want to spill food or drink on this computer. So I might move the netbook while I'm eating. At least for awhile. I'm sure I was the same way with my desktop computer, but I eat and drink while I use that computer now. Although I think it would be less likely for me to spill something on the desktop computer. Maybe on the keyboard, but its a wireless keyboard, so it would be pretty easy to get another one, although hopefully I won't spill anything on the keyboard.

People take netbooks and laptops to restaurants and cafes all the time. That's the whole point of a netbook - it's portable, you can take it anywhere. So they are putting their netbooks and laptops and tablets on dirty tables and they are eating and drinking with their equipment right in front of them or beside them. I think I will get to that point. I'm just neurotic when I first get something.

I'll be eating dinner soon. I don't want to unhook the netbook and move it every time I eat. Maybe I'll simply cover the computer with a towel. A clean towel of course. Like, a rarely used towel.  :-)

I'm counting this as a legitimate post now.

Welcome home, Happy!

librarianintx

Why I'm not sleeping affects my mood

Just an observation here. I find that when I don't get enough sleep because I'm awake late doing something enjoyable - at a party, hanging with friends, making out / having sex - then my mood is good the next day. My energy level is decent and my fatigue is not as prominent. But when I don't sleep well because I'm stressed, or something is keeping me awake (like an annoying smoke detector!), or if I've simply reached the age where sleep is more elusive, then I can be irritable and worn out the next day.

So at least for me, why I'm not sleeping has more of an effect on my mood and stamina than how many hours I'm sleeping. So my solution: When I can't sleep, have sex! Most likely, I'll wake up smiling. Hopefully my partner will as well. :)

librarianintx

From independence to helplessness

A week ago yesterday I spent the better part of the day arranging the clothes in my closet. That wasn't on my list of activities for the day, but once I got started, I didn't want to stop. I have two low bars in closet and one high bar. I like to arrange my clothes seasonally. Since I have difficulty reaching the high bar, my summer shirts and capris pants are on the low bars, and most of my long sleeved shirts and corduroy pants are up on the high bar. But all my dresses, regardless of season, have to be on the high bar, or they would drag on the floor.

My caregiver helps me switch out my clothes every season. But as with most tasks, she gets the job done as quickly as possible, with as little effort as possible. This means grabbing a bunch of clothes and jamming them together on the high bar. She doesn't want to take the time to organize the dresses and other clothes by season. So my corduroy pants might be next to my summer dresses, or my summer dresses might be mixed in with jackets. So I stood on my little step stool and held on to the low bar with one hand and carefully reached up to the high bar to move the clothes where I wanted them. In the process, I also weeded out some items I don't wear anymore to donate.

I wasn't able to do everything I wanted to do. Some clothes I just could not reach. And I got too tired to complete the job. But I was quite pleased with what I was able to accomplish. My closet looks much better. Organized. I found some clothes I was missing. And I discovered a dress that I don't remember buying!

I felt independent and strong, being able to organize my closet by myself. I felt proud of my achievement.

And then an hour after I went to bed that Sunday night, I was awakened by the living room smoke detector beeping. It wasn't chirping; it was beeping. I didn't think it was a battery issue because the battery had been changed fairly recently. My mood changed from confident to frustrated. I knew that no matter how much I wanted to, or how hard I tried, there was absolutely no way that I could reach that smoke detector. I'm too short, I don't have the arm strength, and I don't have the balance. I was powerless in the face of a beeping ceiling device.

Fortunately, the smoke detector eventually returned to it's silent state, after about two hours of beeping at regular, fifteen minute intervals. I finally managed to get some sleep. The maintenance man came late on Monday and replaced the detector. As I suspected, it was not a battery issue.

Such is life. You're up, and then you're down. You succeed, and then you fail. It happens to everyone. You simply have to roll with what the universe affords you, and keep on going. And remember that most frustrations are only bumps in the road. They only bother you for as long as you allow them to.

librarianintx