"Be on Time" Chronicles - writing about transportation

A state agency asked me to write something about how my transportation affects me.
This was my response:

"Simply put, transportation makes my life way more difficult that it needs to be.

It limits me.

It isolates me.

It frustrated me.

It exhausts me.

Going anywhere takes so much organization, planning, and sometimes it’s just too complicated to deal with.

A single event can literally take me hours to get to and get home from.

A few examples:

            My six-hour work day translates to an eight / nine-hour day because of my transportation.

            A forty-five-minute author talk / signing at a bookstore across town turned into a five-hour adventure because of transportation. There were no accidents to make us late. No weather-related problems. No vehicle malfunctions. It was simply a matter of the para-transit shared ride system.

            A trip to a grocery store one mile from my apartment, an activity that should have taken less than an hour, lasted three hours instead.

But I know I am lucky.

At least I have access to transportation.

My daily trips can be arduous, but at least I can get to and from work, the grocery store, doctor appointments, and some social activities.

My transportation can be stressful, yet I am grateful that it is safe, predominantly reliable, and affordable for me.

I know my situation could be worse.

I am not confined to my home due to a lack of transportation.

Some people with disabilities are blocked from being productive members of society simply because they don’t have accessible transportation.

They cannot work outside the home.

They are unable to get to medical appointments.

They are prevented from having social lives and engaging in community events.

Para-transit services, accessible ride shares, accessible bus systems, and especially partnerships among these modes of transportation are paving the way to independence and inclusion in society for many people with disabilities who cannot operate a vehicle.

But we need to do even more.  

Transportation that is accessible, safe, reliable, and affordable must be a right, not a privilege."

librarianintx

"Be on Time" Chronicles 1/31/19

Getting ready for work can be a year-round hassle, but the winter months make the mornings even more stressful, for a few reasons:

1) I get a respiratory illness with pain in my back and chest if I get chilled after a shower. So I have to make sure I am dry and have been dressed for at least 10-15 minutes before I leave the bathroom.

2) My zip up sweaters and sweatshirts are so cozy and I wear them every day in the winter. Unfortunately, some of them are difficult to zip, and I'm anal about having them zipped. I don't ever wear them unzipped. Some of them take multiple tries to zip, which I don't have time for on work mornings.

3) My winter coat is heavy and bulky and a bitch to pull on. I have to reach up to get the hoodie part of my sweater / sweatshirt out of the way of the hood of the coat, which is super difficult for me. because I have limited range of movement. Then I have to get the coat buttoned without my work badge or my hair getting caught.

4) My lightweight coat has a zipper from hell. It works when it wants to. If I don't zip it, the damn garment falls off my shoulders, and I'm walking to the vehicle with the coat sliding off my body, which of course defeats the purpose of wearing a coat in the first place.

So I breathe a sigh of relief every winter morning when my sweater / sweatshirt is zipped and my coat is on.
I feel like half the battle has been won.
But then I start worrying about being able to carry my lunch bag, purse, and any other bag I have while being weighed down with a coat.
And I further obsess about being able to see when my vehicle arrives, because I can't stand outside in the cold.
I also can't open the blinds because I can't reach up to close them when I'm wearing heavy clothes.
So I have to stand by the window and hold the blinds open.
Sometimes I'm standing there for thirty minutes.

It's a boring time.
I'm often tired and sometimes I'm frustrated and I usually feel like I'm wasting time just standing there. 
Sometimes I look at Facebook.
If I have the mental energy I read a few pages from an e-book.
If I know my roommate is awake I'll listen to music on Spotify.
Disco or Motown can be good "get you going" morning music.

When the vehicle arrives, I rush away from the window, grab my stuff, and hope I get to the door before the driver bangs on it.
Not all the drivers bang on the door, but I am annoyed at those who do pound on the door.
Do they not realize that clients may have family / friends / roommates that are still asleep?

This is my winter routine.

It's challenging, but I manage.

At least I don't live in a northern state.
That is something to be grateful for. 
I can't imagine adding snow, ice, and much colder temperatures to this scenario.

librarianintx

The Year in Review: 2018

It's almost the end of January, and I haven't written my recap of 2018.

I turned 50 in 2018, and I had big hopes that it would be a spectacular time, a transition, the year of "the new me."

None of that happened. It was a rough year. And there was no metamorphosis.

But good things still happened in 2018. I did grow and change to a certain extent. And I came through all the bad times a bit stronger I think.

My mantra in 2018 became, "Well, that sucked, but it could have been worse."

Here's a rundown of some of the tough patches:
1) significant leak in the apartment
2) rent amount confusion
3) identity theft
4) eyeglass prescription mix-up that left me seeing poorly for months
5) one of the worst inner ear flare-ups I've had since I was diagnosed in 2000
6) washing machine broke (it was repaired)
7) AT&T Uverse went down (it was repaired)
8) Megabus ticket mix-up

Still, I feel like I managed to salvage the year.

I went to two concerts, Culture Club and Def Leppard / Journey, saw Kathy Griffin live, plus I went to RuPaul's "Werk the World" live show and met the queens.

I met author Liane Moriarty.

I went to three Austin Public Library True Crime Book Club events, one 40's / 50's meet up game and music night, two Open Mike events at Malvern Books, a few NMD United meet-up lunches, the Texas Teen Book Festival in October, the Empty Bowl Project in November, and met co-workers for lunch at Central Market a few times. I went out to lunch, to the mall, to Barnes and Noble, and to get mani/pedis with friends in Houston. I also re-connected with two cousins on my dad's side and a former high school friend.

I went to the Oscar de la Renta exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston. And I went to the Austin Aquarium twice.

I saw some movies, both in the theater and at home:
I, Tonya
Girl on a Train
The Final Year
Victoria & Abdul
Wonder
The Theory of Everything
Pitch Perfect
Disobedience
RBG
Whitney Houston documentary
A Star is Born
Bohemian Rhapsody
Mary Queen of Scots

I ate at three new restaurants: Black Bear Diner in Katy, and Star of India and Honest Mary's in Austin.

I learned to like almonds.

I dabbled in cooking last year. All the dishes I made were vegan:
1) mushroom and spinach bowtie pasta
2) creamy garlic mushroom rigatoni
3) Mexican spiced quinoa
4) fettuccini alfredo
5) gnocchi with pasta sauce, mushrooms, olives, and peas
6) mushroom risotto

In disability-related happenings:
I went to the Transportation Works conference in Waco
The Campaign for Disability Employment shared my post and picture about their campaign
I participated in three women's health online focus groups

In political stuff:
I wrote about 60 postcards for the Democratic Party
I attended Beto O'Rourke's rally at ACC
I was in a picture on Beto's Instagram's page from that rally

In work-related news:
I was a judge for the Center for the Book's "Letters about Literature" contest
I participated in the "Read Across America" event at Rodriguez Elementary
I worked the Round Rock ISD Transition Fair
I participated in TSLAC's first Staff Development Day
The Disability Advisory Committee was nominated for a SafePlace Community Champion Group Award
SafePlace Disability Services PSA was released on Facebook featuring me and two members of the Disability Advisory Committee

I read 27 books in 2018. My goal was to read at least 24.

Unfortunately, I did not hit my goal of 100 blog posts during the year. I only wrote 90.

So, seeing it all written out, I guess it wasn't such a bad year. I mean, bad things happened, but a lot of good stuff occurred as well.

I'll focus on the good.
And hope for even better this year.

librarianintx

Resilience

I did a good job this morning of avoiding catastrophic thinking.

When I woke up tired and stuffy and achy and weak, I didn't jump to worse-case scenario:
I'm deteriorating.
This could be the beginning of the end.
Maybe I can't work anymore.
What will I do if I can't work anymore?
How will I pay my bills, afford food, clothing, doctor visits, etc?
Where will I live?
Who will take care of me? 

But I didn't let my mind go there.
I simply carried out my morning routine.
Shower
Clothes
Skin care
Hair care
Jewelry
Packed my food
Waited for my ride

And instead of worrying and talking myself into an anxiety spiral, I had this thought in my mind:
What if I decided I couldn't make it, I needed to stay home, and I missed some great opportunity?
Maybe today was going to be a great day, possibly one of the greatest days of my life, but I wouldn't know unless I at least gave it a shot.
Take it one step at a time.
Maybe it was going to be an ordinary day, or maybe it was going to be an extraordinary day.
Go, and find out.

Now don't misunderstand me.
If you're sick, you should stay home.
There's nothing wrong with being exhausted and needing a day to recover.

But if you're talking yourself out of going to work or school because of worry or anxiety, that's when you need to take as small of steps as necessary to be successful.

Two more pieces of advice if you wake up and don't feel well:
1) drink a glass of water - Dehydration can cause fatigue, headaches, weakness, and contribute to anxiety
2) eat something, preferably protein-rich foods like eggs, cheese, cottage cheese, peanut or almond butter, etc.
3) If the fatigue, headaches, and anxiety persist, see your doctor. You may have a sleep disorder.

Has it been an extraordinary day?
Not yet.
But I feel better than I did three hours ago.
That's good enough for me.

librarianintx

"Be On Time" Chronicles 1/14/19

My journey from work to the grocery store this past Friday was an ordeal, caused by a combination of unfortunate choices by me and an arduous Metro Access schedule.

Problems #1: I was hungry
I don't have time for breakfast, and I only get one break at work and no lunch, so I tend to graze at my desk. Usually I eat all the food I bring, which varies but can include bread, cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, fruit, hard boiled eggs, etc. On this particular day, I got busy and didn't get to eat before I left. Eating in the Metro Access vehicle is a no-no. Some people do it. Some drivers don't care, while others are rule sticklers. If I'm seriously famished / having a low blood sugar moment, I'll sneak something, but otherwise I wait because I don't want to be chastised like a child. If I drove my own car, I could eat and drink what I wanted to, and deal with any spillage consequences. But I am not in my own vehicle.

Problem #2: I had to pee
Badly
"Why didn't you go before you left?" you might want to ask.
I did.
But it didn't help.
Because I have a rule that I don't drink anything at least an hour before I'm scheduled to leave work, but I rarely follow my own rule, and it haunts me repeatedly.
I drank a fourth to a half glass of water during the last half hour of my work day, and then I went to the restroom five minutes before my ride window opened, but I couldn't pee enough.
Then the thirty minute clock started, my driver was late, and by the time I was finally in the vehicle and we were on our way, I really had to go.
I was screwed.
In the past, I have asked the driver to stop so I could pee. Sometimes I have simply had to. But I try to do it when it's an absolute emergency, and also I tend to ask if we are picking up / dropping off at a business or medical facility.
On this day, we were already behind schedule, I was trying to get to the store, and we had a drop off and a pick up that were both at residences.

So to get my mind off my increasingly uncomfortable situation, I decided to play a word game on my phone.

Good idea for redirecting my brain.
Bad idea because my inner ear didn't like me looking at my phone and not at the road.
3) I started feeling carsick

So it was a triple whammy - hangry, carsick, and having to pee - believe me when I say it was a VERY LONG hour in that car. Again because of the evil thirty minute window, my trip from work to HEB took about ninety minutes. A straight shot would have taken about twenty minutes.

Luckily, it was a good ending to a rough ride. I made it to the grocery store without fainting, vomiting, or wetting my pants.

A successful Metro Access excursion

librarianintx

Positive Psychology

I watched a webinar about positive psychology at work yesterday.
Positive Psychology has several caveats, including the fact that the choices you make influence your daily behaviors.

There is also the concept of growth mindset, which has to do with the belief that your brain is always growing and learning, and needs to be exercised like any other muscle in your body.
Fixed mindset makes you think you're not good at certain tasks, so you don't try to accomplish them. You are also reluctant to attempt new tasks and endeavors because you fear failure and frustration.

The facilitator asked if it's possible to change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
I think it is, and I feel I am making that change.
I used to be so nervous to try to something new. I would rarely attempt anything outside my comfort zone. I knew what I was good at, and I knew what I wasn't good at, and I just wouldn't do the tasks that I struggled with. I have never been good with reading directions, so I would just be helpless and wait for someone else to set something up for me. I was also terrible at giving directions, so I would let others find their own way and I would just say, "I don't know how to do that," or "I don't know how to get there."

Now I feel that I'm more willing to try. I still might not figure something out, but at least I make the attempt, and sometimes I'm actually successful. It's so empowering to work on something and fix it or create it or set it up all by yourself, and not need help from anyone. Sometimes the struggle is actually fun and exciting, which is a mindset I never thought I would experience. Of course it's okay to ask for help, and to need people sometimes. But it feels great to be independent and believe in yourself and your abilities. You feel better about yourself when you can at least say you tried to do something on your own.

I'm so pleased that at least to a certain extent I am developing a growth mindset.

librarianintx 

Grateful

Stunning morning in Texas -
Looking at the sky this morning, I was overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude.
Grateful that I'm physically able to work.
Grateful to have a job.
Grateful not to be furloughed, or have to work without pay, and worry about rent, food, medicine.

I appreciate all that I have, and what I am able to do.

And I appreciate this glorious sunrise.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. 

librarianintx