"....He doesn't succeed, he doesn't triumph...unless success and triumph are measured in simple endurance, as they should be. He just remains...invincible."
from
A Wilder Rose by Susan Wittig Albert
This really resonates with me. Success has been an ideal that I've struggled with my whole life. What is success? How do you define it? How do you quantify it?
I've never had any of my writing published. I've never worked as a paid writer. A few years ago, my niece had two poems published in a national anthology of writings by high school students. She didn't get paid, but her writing was submitted and accepted by a panel of people who pronounced it worthy of publication. When my mother called to give me the exciting news, she actually said to me, "Isn't it great? (Niece's name) has become the writer you never were."
The writer you never were. At the age of forty-something, my mother declared any hope of me ever becoming a *successful* writer officially over. Not gonna happen. No way. The torch has not been passed; it has been passed over. I had my shot, at some point, and I failed. Evidently.
Am I a failure as a writer? If you define success as being published in a book that other people read, then yes, I am a failure as a writer. Of course, she doesn't know that at least someone, at least a few someones, ARE reading my words. But its through cyberspace, not in a bound volume. She doesn't know about my blog.
I choose to define failure as a writer when I let my fear of writing stop me. When I let procrastination and rumination and mental and physical fatigue impede me from picking up my journal, or sitting down at the computer. Writing isn't easy for me. The thoughts don't flow as freely as I want them to. At least not usually. But writing is a muscle. It needs to be exercised. And even though it's not an easy process for me, I still have a yearning to write. And I feel happy when I push through the uncertainty and the discomfort, and I do it. I write. I create. I express.
I think most people want to succeed at something in life. Some people have more drive and determination than others. Some people know exactly what they want to do with their lives and they make it happen, while others are less focused. But everyone wants to be good at something. Everyone wants to be recognized for their talents and abilities.
I so enjoy watching the Olympics. The events are so exciting, the competition can be thrilling. What I don't like, however, is the disappointment faced by so many of the athletes. The mathematics are simple. Only a select number of them will win gold medals. Does that mean everyone else is a failure? I don't think so, but unfortunately it's the nature of competition that someone wins, and someone, usually more than one person, loses. I feel so bad when I hear an athlete say that they're brokenhearted when they won a silver, or a bronze, medal. Actually, it makes me frustrated sometimes. Of course you want to win the top prize. But out of all those other competitors, you came in second! Or third! Or even fourth. That is still something to be proud of! You did your best, right? You tried as hard as you could? You finished, probably. You completed the task you were given. So you succeeded. You just weren't quite as fast, or had just a little less flair. Michelle Kwan, one of the greatest ice skaters ever, won a silver and then a bronze medal. When she won the silver, people were consoling her because she didn't win the gold. Her reply? "I didn't LOSE the gold; I WON the silver." That's what I'm talking about!
But what about all those athletes that never even make it to the Olympics? What about all the writers that are never published? What about all the people that are working three jobs to make ends meet, so they never have a chance to play professional basketball or become an actor or compose a song that wins a Grammy? How do you measure success?
I think the only way you can determine success is to define it for yourself. Easy to say, very hard to do. Because we let others take those measurements for us. We let others pronounce us successes or failures.
Sounds cheesy I know, but I think success is about happiness. If you're basically happy with your life, then I think you are a success. At least that's what I think success should be about. Accomplishments are important, no doubt. Working toward goals and making them a reality are what we're on this earth to do. To leave a legacy to future generations. And still, even if all someone can do sometimes is simply exist, simply endure, isn't that still a triumph? Shouldn't it be? Everyone is here for a reason. Every single person will be remembered by someone.
I don't have to be a paid writer or a published writer to be a successful writer. I am a successful writer when I read what I have composed, and I am content with the result. I am successful when I am happy.
librarianintx
