Dancing with the Stars Season 23 Episode 1 Part 1

HERE WE GO!
MY FAVORITE SHOW IS BACK!
CAN YOU TELL HOW EXCITED I AM?

Ok. No more shouting. But I am excited!

And here is my first attempt at recaping during the episode. Please excuse any typos that I don't catch.

First up:
Marilu Henner and Derek
Marilu is in her 60's, but she doesn't look it, and she doesn't dance like it. She did a very good job with the jive. She had good energy and excitement. She didn't totally keep up with Derek, but she was VERY close. Good job!
The judges were impressed too. She got three 7's and a 6 from Julianne.

James Hinchcliffe and Sharna
He said he's not a dancer, but I think he coped well with the foxtrot. Often the foxtrot is a good dance for the male contestants who think they can't dance. The judges were very impressed. Julianne called him "graceful and fluid." He got great scores: three 8's, and once again Julianne was the low paddle with a 7. I thought it was a beautiful dance. I think James has more dancing ability than he thinks he does. And of course it helps that he has the beautiful and supremely talented Sharna as his partner.

Calvin Johnson and Lindsey
Certainly not the best football player they've had on DWTS, but it was an entertaining performance. He had no hip action in this cha cha,, and Lindsey did most of the work, but he looked happy and had a big grin on his face, so it was enjoyable. I think there is a possibility for some improvement. He is by no means the worst dancer to be on this show. Calvin got two 7's and two 6's.

I just have to say again how much I adore Tom and Erin.

Maureen McCormick and Artem
How sweet is Artem? OMG. And oh my gosh, Maureen is 60? Wow. Anyway, I digress. On to the dance. It was obvious Maureen was mega nervous, and trying so hard to keep her posture. She had a few stumbles, and her nervousness detracted from the dance. But it was still lovely, and you can't help but root for her. I hope she can get her anxiety under control. How cute when Mrs. Brady came over to give her a hug!The judges were encouraging, but her scores were low, two 6's and two 5's. Maureen was still glowing, so I hope she wasn't discouraged.

Babyface and Allison
That was a pretty big production number for a first dance. Babyface showed great musicality, rhythm, and leading man appeal in this foxtrot. His partnering skills look very strong. I had a little trouble with the lighting on this performance, or maybe it was my television. But I think he did a GREAT job. Performance of the night so far.I thought Len and Julianne were a little critical, and overall the scores were lower than I expected: two 7's and two 6's. I thought his scores would be higher. Mmmm....

Amber Rose and Maks
I love the song, and I thought the beginning of the foxtrot was super hot. Once they emerged from the shadow, I was less impressed. I thought it was kind of boring. Amber and Maks strike me as the couple that will light the ballroom on fire, and I thought that was going to happen with this dance. But it was just okay. I have hope for future fireworks though. I think the judges see her potential as well. Okay, so if she hates her costume, why did they have her wear it? I'm shaking my head. The judges gave her 6's across the board.

end of part 1

librarianintx

Speechless Episode 1

The premiere episode is already available online, so I watched it. While I thought it was pretty heavy-handed and awkward at times, I'm willing to give it a chance. The fact that a major network has a comedy with a disabled character played by a disabled actor is big and important and I want to support this show.

But there was quite a bit of the show that left me shaking my head. Some of it was just so over the top. Maybe it was supposed to be. Maybe it was hyperbole. The school that was trying so hard to be inclusive had the only ramp at the back of the school by the dumpster? The only black guy at the school used the word "crippled"? The school had a planetarium?  The girl who was the lone member of the astronomy club is dating a football player? Ok, cool in a way, but I'm sorry, not very realistic. And if she's that smart, why is she dating a jerk? If they're dating. She said "friend."

But I digress.

The technology aspect was a little behind the times. Why does JJ need an aide to speak for him? Why doesn't he get a speaking AAC (communication device)? Because the family can't afford it? That would make sense. They're not cheap. But there is funding available. Maybe this will be addressed in a later episode. Even if he has a talking AAC device, he would likely still need an aide for assistance,  so that would still fit with the storyline.

Am I being nitpicky?

I don't think I'm being nitpicky on this point. The family needed a disabled parking placard for their van. I know the scene was supposed to be funny, but that bothered me. They deserved to get a ticket, disabled son and all. The woman in the car was portrayed as both meddling and trying to out-disable the kid in the wheelchair, but she was actually right to call them out. It was a poor lesson that Maya was teaching JJ, that being in a chair allowed him to ignore the law.

Still, a lot of it did work for me. Minnie Driver is great as Maya, the Advocate Mom from Hell. I especially like Mason Cook as the younger son, Ray. I think the portrayal of a boy dealing with a sibling with a disability, adjusting to yet another new school, etc, was spot on. He could be the breakout star of the show. I also enjoyed John Ross Bowie as the dad, Jimmie.

I think there's room for improvement. But I WAS entertained. So in that respect, "Speechless" was a success.

librarianintx

Regret

I was talking to a friend the other day about regret. Specifically I was saying that I don't think anyone should regret anything in his/her life. Who you are friends with, who you are romantically involved with, the jobs you have, the hobbies you enjoy - all change and evolve as you go through life. That doesn't mean that you should regret the time, money, energy you spent liking someone or something. Unfortunately its easy to say, "Oh, I spent five years with that person, and he/she broke my heart. What a waste!" Or, "I was such a huge fan of this band, and now I'm into a totally different style of music. I wasted so much money on their concerts and merchandise." But all of these experiences help shape you, make you the person that you are. Regret is an emotional wasteland. There is no benefit in regret. Don't wallow in it. Instead, try to focus on the good times, how happy and excited the person or thing made you feel. Think about the experiences you had, the memories you made, what you learned from the relationship or hobby or job. Everything you do in life has meaning and purpose. Perspective is key.

librarianintx

#noprocrastination

For day one of a five day vacation, I've been reading, I mailed cards to all my nieces, I unloaded the dishwasher, I put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and I went out for a nice lunch with friends. I had the cards written and the kitchen cleaned up before I took my shower.
#noprocrastination

librarianintx

SYTYCD Next Generation

Monday is the performance finale of So You Think You Can Dance: The Next Generation. I wasn't going to watch at all this season. I though the idea of child dancers performing with the All Stars was a bad idea. But it has been a very entertaining season. These kids are TALENTED! And surprisingly humble. We haven't had to deal with stage parents, or unnecessary drama. The eliminations have not been painless by any means; there have been a lot of tears. But Cat, the judges, the choreographers, and the All Stars have been very sensitive to the fact that they are working with 8 - 13 year old kids. The rehearsals look like a lot of fun. The critiques have been mostly glowing. And the eliminations have been mercifully quick, with a lot of praise for the dancers who fall short of the finale.

I think all of the kids are very good, and every single one of them could have been in the finale, and I would understand why. Having said that, however, the final four are not the ones I would have personally chosen. It all comes down to what style of dance you prefer. Tap is my least favorite style of dance. But that doesn't mean that Emma isn't great, or doesn't deserve to be in the finale. JT is super adorable, and I have loved his performances with Robert. But is he a better dancer than Tahani, or Ruby? But this has always been the premise of SYTYCD, and I absolutely agree with it: "The search is for America's FAVORITE dancer." Not necessarily America's BEST dancer. The winner will be the young person that the majority of the people who vote liked the best.

Who was my favorite this season? Impossible to say. I honestly do like them all, and I'll be pleased with whoever wins. They all have strengths, and they all deserve to have long, successful careers. As I've said before, I was thrilled to have THREE ballroom dancers this season, and I think they were all terrific. I also really enjoyed watching Tahani. There was wonderful interaction with all the pairings of kids and All Stars: laughter, tears, hard work, learning together, sharing their gifts with the audience and with each other. They have all made friends for life for sure. 

librarianintx

Consistency

It felt so good to walk out the door this morning, heading out of town after work for a five day vacation, to know that I accomplished just about everything I wanted to before I left. Sure, I was putting clean laundry away five minutes before ride arrived, but I got it done. Did I take of everything? No, but darn close. And I'm okay with that.

Still, I struggle so much with consistency, and I don't like that about myself. What's the problem? Do I set unrealistic goals for myself? I don't think so. Why is it so hard for me to do the things that I want to do every day? Why can't I get in two servings of fruit? Why don't I read at least twenty pages of a book? Why is is so hard for me to blog every day? To journal? Some days I accomplish what I want to, the goals that I set for myself, and I'm so happy when I do. But then the next day, I fall short, and then I'm upset with myself. Maybe my goals should just be: "Try to do "X" every day." Try to drink at least one glass of water. Attempt to exercise. Make an effort to do a journal entry. But don't beat myself up if it doesn't happen.

Easier said than done.

My reasons for coming up short are several. Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fatigue. Difficulty concentrating. Not enough hours in the day. Spending too much time worrying. Trying to do too much. One task taking much longer than expected. But usually nothing I'm trying to do takes me as long to accomplish as I think it will. Maybe I just have too many goals to achieve in one day.

But I keep plugging away. I had two servings of fruit yesterday. I doubt I'll have any today. I didn't have any water yesterday, but maybe today. I think I read a few pages yesterday; I'll likely have more time today. I blogged yesterday AND today! Hey! A two day streak!

Maybe consistency just isn't in the cards for me. Maybe I need to be okay with, "Do
'X' as often as I can." Celebrate on the days that I achieve my goals, and on the days I don't, shrug, smile, and say, "I'll try again tomorrow."

librarianintx

Second quote from Facebook

My mantra for today.

librarianintx

Quote from Facebook

In my case, there is usually the urge, the desire, to be productive - but procrastination and fatigue often win the day.

librarianintx

DWTS Season 23 Cast - My Thoughts

In just about every season of DWTS, there are contestants that I don't like, and ones that I don't know. I still love the show, and of course I will watch. This season it seems there are even more contestants that I don't know, and two in particular that I wish were not going to be on the show.

Here's the list of celebrities and their professional dance partners:
Maksim Chmerkovskiy & Amber Rose
Valentin Chmerkovskiy & Laurie Hernandez
Artem Chigvintsev & Maureen McCormick
Sasha Farber & Terra Jole
Derek Hough & Marilu Henner
Witney Carson & Vanilla Ice
Lindsay Arnold & Calvin Johnson
Jenna Johnson & Jake T. Austin
Allison Holker & Babyface
Sharna Burgess & James Hinchcliffe
Emma Slater & Rick Perry
Cheryl Burke & Ryan Lochte
Gleb Savchenko & Jana Kramer

Who did I have to look up on Wikipedia?
Terra Jole
Jake T Austin
James Hinchcliffe
Jana Kramer

I guess four isn't too bad, but it is rather high for one season. I have heard of the Little Women of LA so I sort of know who Terra Jole is, but I've never watched the show. They have paired her with the shortest male dancer, but I think this will still be quite a challenge for Sasha. Still, I'm all about DWTS featuring differently-abled contestants, so I'm all for this. From what I know of the show, Little Women of LA has a cast of strong, sassy, independent females, so I say bring it Terra!

I think you can guess which two contestants I'm upset about: Rick Perry and Ryan Lochte.
Rick Perry - really? Poor Emma. Is she ever going to get a decent partner? I know, I haven't seen him dance. I don't need to. I know he will be terrible. Sorry, but he will. I have lived under his governorship for years. I don't want to see him on my favorite television show. End of rant.

And Ryan Lochte? The Ryan Lochte who disgraced our country at the summer Olympics? "Lyin" Ryan is going to be on my favorite show? Do I know what actually happened in that gas station in Rio? No, I don't. But he has admitted wrongdoing. Even if he didn't lie about being held up at gunpoint, he still vandalized a bathroom in a foreign country, then fled back to the United States and let his teammates take the blame and get detained. I understand that he probably signed a contract before all of this came to light, and DWTS doesn't want to deal with a lawsuit. But he does not belong on this show. It will be very interesting to see how the live audience reacts to him. And if anyone decides to vote for him.

As for the professional dancers, I'm very happy to see Cheryl Burke back on DTWS. And Maks too - as a dancer. I did not enjoy Maks as a judge.

So, I'm ambivalent about some of the contestants, and supremely irritated about a few others. But its my favorite show, and I'm going to enjoy it. Season 23 - here I come!

librarianintx

Sugar rush

It has been the week of sugar at work. A dizzying amount of the white stuff. A donut AND a brownie on Tuesday. A chocolate chip cookie on Wednesday. Chocolate ice cream on Thursday (swoon). And this morning - carrot cake with very sweet frosting AND another scoop of chocolate ice cream. I'm surprised I'm not hopping around the office like a kangaroo. OMG, it was all SO good, but I'm also feeling very guilty. I have seriously fallen off the sugar wagon. More than fallen. I've rolled off and been run over repeatedly. I need to get back on track. Even when I was eating sugar daily I RARELY consumed two sugary snacks in one day. I have now done that TWICE in one week. And I just found out that there is an ice cream festival in town tomorrow.

No. Absolutely NOT.

librarianintx

Bare feet

I have sensitive, delicate feet. I like pedicures, but don't enjoy the part where they scrub the bottom of your feet. That always makes me squirm. I don't walk outside in bare feet. I can't handle walking on twigs or rocks or anything like that. Even when I'm inside I'm usually wearing socks. For awhile I would even wear my shoes inside the apartment. I would get home from work but not take my shoes off until I went to bed. Weird, I know. I finally stopped doing that. These days, though, I'm enjoying going barefoot in the apartment. I'm not sure what's changed. But it feels good. It feels relaxing. I think for some reason when I was younger, my feet used to sweat a little and stick to the carpet. But that's not happening anymore. I'm sure many people would view this as a strange post. Why is she talking about how going barefoot makes her happy? For me, being able to walk around barefoot is a feeling of freedom. My feet needed to be covered by something at all times - socks, shoes - but now they can be unencumbered, and it feels good.

librarianintx

Weird Dreams

Have I mentioned before that since my CO2 is coming down and the bipap is doing its job, my dreams are more vivid and I remember them more often - and many of them are so bizarre.

Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was at some restaurant / museum that was in a swimming pool. I know, right? Crazy. I love to swim, but it was a bad situation for me because the water was freezing, and I can't handle cold water. So there were stations with all this delicious food, but you had to swim to each station, and I was stuck at the entrance to the place, watching everyone else eat and being able to smell how good everything was. There was also all this adorable butterfly stuff that you could buy - shirts and posters and mugs - but again you had to swim to a station.

At one point a friend tried to put me on his shoulders and get me to a station, but my balance was too poor, and I started to fall backwards. I got scared, and he put me back on the steps at the entrance.

At the end of the dream, the water suddenly drained, and I was able to eat and buy butterfly stuff.
So there was a happy ending at least.
But really - so strange!!

Luckily, even though some of the dreams are disturbing, I usually wake feeling fairly refreshed. So I'll take the weird dreams and be exceedingly grateful for how good the bipap is making me feel. Extremely appreciative. 

librarianintx

Things I tend to lose

I haven't reached that stage in life when I lose things frequently - yet. I am to the point when I walk into a room and don't remember what I needed there. I have misplaced my keys a time or two, and I've left my phone at home twice. That is a big deal, because I am very attached to my phone, as many people are. The first time I forgot my phone it was quite an ordeal, because I was going to Houston for the weekend. I didn't have a way to contact my friends or family there. I was at the bus station, stressed out and fretting, and left a semi-hysterical voicemail for my roommate using the phone in customer service, asking him to text my mom and my friends and explain the situation. About thirty minutes later, I was on the bus, feeling like I was missing a limb because I didn't have my phone in my grasp. I look up from my perch in the front of the Greyhound, and there is my dear roommate, holding up my phone, with a big grin on his sweet face. I burst into tears of relief and appreciation. He heard my voicemail, left work, went home, found my phone in the odd place I left it, and brought it to me. Weekend saved.

There are two things, however, that I do tend to misplace: sunglasses, and the butterfly ring that I wear nearly every day. Okay, be honest, girl, you don't misplace sunglasses: you lose them. This is because I usually have them in my hand and lay them down somewhere, like in the Metro Access car or in the grocery store. When I use a case for the sunglasses, I am less likely to lose them. Luckily I don't have prescription sunglasses. I buy the $5 Walmart sunglasses because I lose them so often.

I tend to misplace my ring because I am actually trying to take care of it, so I take it off when I wash my hands or am doing dishes. Its very delicate, a rope band with the butterfly hanging down from the ring, so I think if its exposed too much to water and soap the butterfly will eventually detach from the ring. But the problem is, instead of using the ring holders that I have, I tend to put the ring on the counter, and then I don't remember where I put it. One time I put it on top of a can, and when I picked up the can, the ring went flying across the kitchen. Once again, my roommate came to the rescue and found it.

These days I am using the ring holders more often than not, so I am misplacing the ring less, which makes me very happy. This morning however, the ring holder became part of the problem. The holder was very close to the sink, and in my haste to separate the ring from the holder, the ring again went flying, and this time landed in the disposal! Crap! My driver had already arrived and I needed to leave, but I couldn't leave my ring in the disposal. I would have had OCD all day at work. I could see it, but it took me a minute to dislodge the ring from the disposal. Luckily there wasn't anything yucky down there. The ring was saved once again.

My mom went through a terrible time of losing things when she went through menopause. She lost her keys several times, and had pretty legendary fits of rage. She also threw some checks in the trash. I hope these events are not in my future, but likely, they are.

librarianintx

Personal Care Attendant

For about a month, I had a great new PCA. She was dependable, helpful, and eager to please. She was early nearly every day, and never asked to leave before the end of her shift. She was a good cleaner, and enjoyed the praise I gave her when she wanted me to check her work, and make sure she was doing her job to my satisfaction. This PCA was only nineteen years old, and this was her first employment experience. Her age and the fact that this would be her first job gave me pause about hiring her, but I'm glad I decided to take a chance. We were able to accomplish much in one month's time. We arranged my bedroom closet and parts of the kitchen. We cooked together twice. For a month I felt organized and secure in the knowledge that I wouldn't have to struggle to do everything on my own - cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc. I appreciated the little things that she would do for me without even being asked. I enjoyed her youthful exuberance, and we chatted about music and cute actors. It seemed as if she actually liked coming to work, which was so refreshing. She didn't balk at anything I asked her to do, even cleaning the oven. She was patient on our long waits for the paratransit rides, even though she claimed she was not a patient person. She bagged the groceries herself at the supermarket, and insisted that she help me to my apartment in a downpour, covering me with an umbrella. "l'll just make a run for it," I told her. "Oh no!" she replied. "I'm not letting you fall down." She is actually an inch or two shorter than me, but she could reach high shelves in the store and carry heavy bags of cans and cleaning products. She tried tofu for the first time when we made spinach stuffed shells, and said she liked it. We were very different in age and cultural backgrounds, but we shared a fondness for chicken and potatoes in any variety. :)

And then the day after I returned from the Fourth of July holiday, an afternoon that she was supposed to work - bam. I get a text from her: "Bad news - I've moved to Houston." No warning at all. I was dumbfounded. I called and got her voicemail. I left a message, asking her to call me back. I just wanted to know what happened. I wanted closure. But she hasn't returned my call, and I know she's not going to. I contacted my case manager. Time to start the process again.

I'm not taking this personally. She did not quit because of me. She lives with her mother, and I firmly believe it was her mother's decision to move. My PCA may not have found out until the last minute. Still, she could have let me know, even if she had to give me bad news on a holiday. The sooner she informed me, the quicker I could begin a search for someone new.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of things. I'm grateful for the month we worked together, and all that we were able to accomplish. I enjoyed my time with her. I appreciated her hard work and dedication to her job. I will look back on our month together, and remember how good it felt to have someone who was reliable and took her job seriously. I hope her life goes well for her. And I have to have faith that my next PCA will
have many of the same qualities that made the former PCA such a pleasure to work with.

Everything in life happens for a reason. 

librarianintx

SYTYCD: TNG Episode 3

I still like it. As a big ballroom fan, I was thrilled to see all the ballroom couples, especially since there was a dearth of ballroom last season. I felt so bad when the boy made it to the academy and his female partner didn't,  but I think the judges made the right decision. The boy is a very good dancer.

I don't know how they are going to whittle down this group from 100 dancers to just 10. This is an exceedingly talented bunch of young people.

librarianintx

SYTYCD: TNG Episode 2

I still think the show is charming. Even when the young dancer threw up on Paula. "She just squeezed me so tight that all the happiness came out ... on her jacket." You have to admit, that's a darn cute way to describe vomiting. Paula was very sweet and handled the situation with class.

My gripe with this episode - the outfits these girls were wearing! Honestly, I'm not a prude, but yeesh. I experienced a few Jon Benet Ramsey moments. The revealing costumes, the make-up ... too much. Even the boys - they were dancing contemporary, but being shirtless isn't a requirement for that genre, or any style of dance.

librarianintx

So You Think You Can Dance: The Next Generation

I finally watched the first episode. I actually liked it. The kids are quite talented. The parents and families were not annoying. Neither were the judges. I was entertained. The only cringy moment for me was at the end of the episode, when the young ballroom dancer cried and begged for her and her partner to have a second chance. After letting her get semi-hysterical for dramatic effect, Nigel consented, and the pair went through on the second attempt. Too much unnecessary drama there, and I think allowing some contestants to have more than one audition sets a bad precedence.  Otherwise, the show gets a surprising thumbs up from me.

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars finale

I'm not going to write a traditional recap since the show ended weeks ago. I'll just say that it was a wonderful season as usual. Although I'm so proud of Nyle for winning and believe he is worthy of the title, I can't help feeling that Paige was robbed. She was SO strong all season. She is the whole package - dance ability, sex appeal, athleticism, and a great backstory.

I have to admit that I was underwhelmed by the competition part of the finale. Usually the freestyles are so exciting, so innovative, and I was honestly disappointed by all of them. In my opinion, Nyle's WAS the best, and often the person who performs the best freestyle wins the competition. I expected Paige's freestyle to blow me away. Given how outstanding all of her routines were this season, I was waiting for a "rock my world" performance with daredevil tricks and spicy moves. Her freestyle was lovely and intensely personal for her and Mark, but unfortunately it didn't affect me as much as I hoped it would. Nyle's freestyle was very powerful and it did move me, but overall I still wasn't as excited as I wanted to be.

The only routine I truly enjoyed that night was Paige and Mark's salsa. I loved the Pitbull song, the dress change, the way the dance floor exploded in a burst of red and orange that resembled fire. Paige was super sexy and the tricks were awesome. I yelled at the tv when Len said she didn't have enough hip action. Then I watched the routine a second time, and I could see what Len was saying...kind of. I think there was a lack of hip action because of the lifts and partnering. Still, I adored the routine. I thought it was caliente! That dance DID NOT deserve a 9!

Thanks for another entertaining season, Dancing with the Stars! See you in the fall!

librarianintx

So You Think You Can Dance

The new season has started, but I haven't seen any episodes yet. I'm two behind so far. I'm trying to decide if I want to watch this season. It's a given that I'm going to watch Dancing with the Stars every season. It's one of my favorite shows. But So You Think Can Dance has been waning for me over the years.  A big reason why are the judges. I've never been a fan of Nigel, Paula annoys me, and although I enjoy Jason Derulo as a singer and dancer, I don't think judging is his strong suit. This year the show is trying something new: So You Think You Can Dance kids edition. All of the dancers are young, not 18 and over like usual. I'm hesitant to start watching. Part of me thinks I won't like the new format. Part of me is afraid I WILL like it, and then I'll have another show to watch, when I'm trying to cut down on tv. Each episode has only been an hour so far, so maybe I'll give it a try. But I'm still waffling. Maybe I'll catch up this weekend. Maybe not.

librarianintx

Body washes

I have a mild addiction to body washes. I already have a few from Bath & Body Works, but whenever I get a coupon for a store brand, I buy another bottle. There are currently four in my shower, and a few more in the cabinet. My favorite scents are vanilla sugar, sweet pea, and orange. This morning I tried mandarin for the first time. I like it! I'm all into my surroundings smelling good. My mom gave me a butterfly nightlight that you can put scented oil in. It lasts for about three months, and wow, does my room smell great!

A friend was in my bathroom recently, and laughed at all the bottles in my shower. I don't mind. Variety is the spice of life. I enjoy choosing a scent based on what I'm wearing. I have a bunch of body sprays and lotions too, but i don't use the lotions much.

I've been through times in my life when taking a shower was an anxiety-producing experience. So I appreciate and relish the days when showering is the relaxing and rejuvenating activity that it is intended to be.

librarianintx

Shoes

A few years ago I found these great shoes at Payless. I was going to the Ms Wheelchair Foundation - a fancy affair at an upscale hotel in Houston. I was wearing a new pink dress and needed shoes to wear with it. Clothes are hard enough to find in my size, but shoes are even tougher. I typically wear a size 2 - that's a child size! It has been next to impossible for me to find adult-looking dressy shoes. And I can't handle anything with a heel because of my weak ankles and poor balance.

And then I found the dressy shoe of my dreams - peep toe, a wedge I can manage, cute little bow, but still adult-looking shoes - and I found them in pink! Hot damn! To my even further euphoria, I discovered they also came in black, brown, and red, and secured those a few weeks later.

These are the best dressy shoes I have ever had. Comfortable, attractive, and useful. I have worn the hell out of the black ones because I wear a lot of black.

So I guess I jinxed myself. I received multiple compliments in one day about the shoes, and I gushed about how comfortable they are. I wasn't lying. They ARE comfortable. But when you wear the same shoes for three days in a row, for 12+ hours a day, in the Texas heat, with no panty hose - yesterday my feet HURT, and I noticed the inside of the shoes had small spots of blood on them. I loved the shoes so much I tried to kill them - and my feet - by wearing them too much.

I am hoping I can clean them, but in the meantime, luckily I found another pair in black and in my size, and I ordered them online. I could not find them in any of the other colors I have, so I will have to be very careful with those.

After a good night's sleep and a gentle scrub in the shower, my feet are somewhat better today. Lesson learned I hope. Don't love your shoes more than you care about your feet.

librarianintx

Dancing with the Stars 2016 Semi-Finals 5/16/16

I was hoping to write weekly recaps for Dancing with the Stars, but my spring got too busy. What a great season of dancing we have been privileged to witness! Here is a quick recap of the semi-final rounds in order of my favorite dancers:

Paige
For the trio round, Paige and Mark teamed up with Alan. Duh, of course they did. Paige and Alan steamed up the ballroom in week three when Mark injured his back. For the trio round, the three danced an almost African-inspired Samba, and the result was...SMOKIN' HOT!! OMG! Paige totally went for it, and did not hold back. She was the absolute star of that dance. Her solo dancing was fantastic. The trio earned a perfect score of 30, and lots of grilling and innuendo from Erin about Paige and Alan's "friendship." The conversation was deliciously uncomfortable. :)

For round two, Paige and Mark danced an Argentine Tango, which made their first round trio dance look completely chaste by comparison. Oh. My. Goodness. This dance was almost illegally sexy. I think its the sexiest dance in the history of this show. It was basically a strip tease with brilliant choreography. Wow. WOW. WOW. H-O-T. I'm surprised they didn't hand out cigarettes to the audience at the end of this one. Holy Mother of Goodness. Damn. Carrie Ann and Bruno were orgasmic. Len said it was too spicy. Ah, c'mon Len! He gave them a nine. Travesty! That dance deserved a 50! Instead, they earned a 29.

Wanya
For the trio round, as is her usual MO, Lindsay chose Whitney as their third member. Their Paso Doble was dramatic and electrifying. In the Paso, the female dancer usually shines, but Wanya really worked it. He never phones in his dances. Wanya got a hug from a Carrie Ann, a standing "O" from Len, and a perfect score of 30 for his trio dance.

For round two, Wanya and Lindsay danced the Charleston. I loved everything about it - the bright costumes, the tricks, the fun, how light Wanya is on his feet, his musicality - everything. The judges loved it too. Wanya and Lindsay earned a perfect 30 for their second dance as well.

Nyle
For the trio dance, Nyle and Peta were joined by Jenna for a Jive. How cool that Jenna knows sign language and can communicate with Nyle! The dance was fun, energetic, and Nyle's musicality is absolutely insane! He did lose time a bit and Peta had a slight slip that Bruno and Carrie Ann noticed. Nyle and his ladies earned a 27 for their trio dance.

Nyle and Peta's second dance of the night was an Argentine Tango that resembled a contemporary number in my opinion. For a few seconds of the dance Nyle was blindfolded, which the audience went crazy for. It was a beautiful, sensual dance. I loved the part at the end, when he put his head in her lap. What a great partnership they have had. Nyle and Peta took home a perfect score for their second dance.

Antonio
Antonio and Sharna were joined by Hailey for their trio Argentine Tango. The dance was slow to start, but overall was good, and the lifts were the best part. The Argentine Tango is all about drama, and this dance had drama. The trio took home a score of 27 for this one.

Antonio and Sharna's second dance was a Contemporary routine. I loved how triumphant the feel was - no matter what place they finish in, Antonio has grown so much in this competition. He has become a dancer. I was waiting for that spectacular lift, and I was not disappointed. I also love the connection between Antonio and Sharna. Antonio earned his first ten with this dance, from Bruno! His overall score was 28.

Ginger
Ginger was the lucky girl who got to be the filling in a Val / Artem sandwich. What girl would say no to that? "Yes, please!" as Erin would say. Their Paso Doble was exciting and sexy. The music for all of the dances on this night have been so on point. The judges liked the dance, but Bruno pointed out that she lost her shape a bit. The trio earned a 27 for this one.

Finally, Ginger and Val danced a Quickstep. I have to interject a mini rant that I find it unfair that Ginger and Val was the only couple of the night to snag a famous singer on the floor with them (Leona Lewis). The dance had great speed, and I absolutely adore Ginger's spirit and enthusiasm.Unfortunately, Carrie Ann noticed that Ginger got caught up in her dress at one point. Because of that, Ginger and Val earned a 29 for this dance.

All five of these celebrity dancers are great, and I would have been happy to see any of them in the finals, but I was especially rooting for Paige, Nyle, and Wanya (even thought I didn't vote for anyone.) In the end, I got two out of three. Paige, Nyle, and Ginger will be in the finals! We had to say goodbye to Wanya and Antonio (sniffles).

librarianintx

Zach Anner

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/if-at-birth-you-dont-succeed-zach-anner/1121861958?ean=9781627793643

Last week I moderated an online discussion of Zach Anner's book If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny for a neuromuscular disorders Facebook group that I belong to. I had met Zach at his book signing in town, and asked him if he would be a part of the discussion. I was thrilled when he made it to event, and even more pleased that he stayed for the entire 90 minute conversation!

Zach was a co-winner of a reality show on the Oprah Winfrey network and won his own travel show called "Rollin' with Zach." He's also an Internet and youtube session, with several successful web series: "Workout Wednesdays," "Riding Shotgun," and "Have a Little Faith," the latter produced by Rainn Wilson's company Soul Pancake. Zach has never let cerebral palsy slow him down or stop him from being hilarious, resilient, and always looking on the bright side.

About twelve of us participated in the online book discussion, and it was wonderful to have an opportunity to ask Zach questions about his book and his outlook on life, and for members of the Facebook group to share some of their travel stories with him. 

The book is fantastic - laugh out loud funny, poignant in parts, with a super great message of turning negatives into positives and failures into success. For example, in one chapter he talks about his struggle in school physical education classes. He was terrible at sports, and strongly disliked having an adaptive PE teacher assigned to him who basically allowed him to cheat, which caused resentment among his classmates. But he turned that negative part of his life into a positive later on, as his web series "Workout Wednesdays" became his most successful online endeavor so far. 

The term "inspiration" can have a negative connotation, but to me Zach Anner is inspirational. He didn't plan to be a spokesperson for the disabled community, but simply by being an entertaining, hardy, open person, he is breaking stereotypes, expanding mindsets, and showing all of us how to find the humor and the grace in unfortunate events.  

librarianintx

Survivor Season 32 Finale

I finally watched the Survivor finale. My one word review: "Meh."

Michelle was not my pick to win. But I honestly didn't have my heart set on anyone winning. Cydney, Tai, and Aubry all did more strategizing and blindsiding than Michelle did. But I do agree that Michelle came on strong at the end with the challenges, and the other three seemed to fade a bit.

Still, I'm surprised that Tai didn't get any votes. I feel bad for him, because more than anyone he went against his principles to lie and blindside. But I think he is feeling a lot of love from the fans, so that should help him deal with the emotional aftermath of being a Survivor contestant.

Hopefully Tai is comforted by the knowledge that he managed to keep a group of starving people from eating his beloved Mark the chicken. And thanks to superstar Sia, he is now $50,000 richer because of his respect and care for all living creatures. So uplifting to see goodness rewarded.

Even though this was not a great season to me, Survivor remains one of my favorite shows (despite Jeff Probst). I had wanted to write recaps, but I didn't have time unfortunately. Maybe next season.

librarianintx

What makes me happy

Big things and little things make me happy.

Little things like a desk organizer make me happy, so I can keep my ballpoint pens, sharpies, and highlighters in separate sections, and have a tray for small paper clips and a pull out drawer for sticky note pads. As I've mentioned previously,  organization makes me happy.

And important events make me happy, like witnessing my middle niece graduate with honors from college.

Having a mom who will offer to eat the tough piece of shrimp and selflessly gives you more than your share of the soft crabmeat from the shared shellfish dinner makes me very happy too.

Yes, we're Jewish, and we're eating shellfish. (whispering )

librarianintx

On the road again

Megabus - ing my way back to H-town.

Shoes off.
Book in my lap.
Central Texas springtime rolling by.

But it's not as pleasant this time.

Reasons:
No A/C
Swollen feet
A moderate case of bus sickness.
Something black floating in my sippy cup of water. Insect remnants? Mold? Bits of plastic?

I'll just lean my head back and dream of a cool breeze and a refrigerated gatorade. And hopefully avoid thoughts of poisoning or cancer from whatever the hell is in this water.

This trip will be a success if I can avoid vomiting AND get my feet crammed back into my shoes.

Holy crap! A purple grape just rolled by me on the floor. I thought it was a roach. I think I'm hallucinating....

librarianintx

Adventures in solo shopping

My caregiver was let go from the agency about three weeks ago. She and I have been working together for about five years. I've had four caregivers, and by far she and I had the best relationship. I'm not happy to no longer have her, but rules are rules, and I can't fight the situation. I have to move on, and find someone else, even though I don't want to. One of the personality traits I appreciated most in my caregiver was her easygoing and non-confrontational attitude. I worry about conflict and strife with anyone in my life, and I don't want to deal with that with a new caregiver.

So yesterday it was off to the grocery store by myself. Luckily I'm pretty independent when it comes to shopping. I struggle with heavy items and I tend to get nervous at the check-out, especially if people are behind me in line. But I can get around by myself, and I rarely need to use a store scooter. I do have one problem though: there is usually at least one item on my list that is too high for me to reach.

Yesterday that item was milk. I could reach the half gallon, but I didn't want a container that big. I'm leaving town in two days, so a pint would be the preferred size. I could make two shakes with a pint of milk, and probably have enough left over for one or two shakes next week before I needed to buy more. I super hate to waste food, and I didn't want the milk to spoil before I used it all. Plus, the half gallon would be heavier. And since I never know how long I'll have to wait for my ride, I didn't want the added risk of a larger container of milk being out of the refrigerator for an extended period of time. At least I remembered to bring my insulated bag.

So I stood by the refrigerated case for a long time, staring longingly at the pints of milk on the top shelf, wishing I could reach one by myself, and knowing it was an impossible dream. I looked for other options - were there maybe small cartons of milk somewhere reachable, instead of the bottles? No. The small cartons were half and half, not milk. I could reach cartons of soy or almond milk, but again, they were larger size. And more expensive. And I don't like the taste as well as regular milk. There were small bottles of chocolate milk that I could get to, but I didn't want chocolate milk.

I stood there for a ridiculously long time. At one point I turned my cart around and started walking away. I gave up. I convinced myself that I could do without the milk. "You're leaving in two days," I argued silently. "Are you even going to have time to make a shake today or tomorrow? Just wait until next week. It's no big deal. Save your money. And your effort. And whatever emotional turmoil is making it so difficult for you to ask for help."

But then I got stubborn. Back I came to the milk case. A short, rotund HEB employee was stocking water in a nearby aisle. I asked him if he could reach something for me. He agreed promptly, with no visible signs of annoyance or frustration. I led him to the milk case, and ten seconds later the pint of the white stuff was safely in my grasp. Problem solved. Quickly, easily, with no conflict or animosity. Why did it take me so long? Why is it so hard for me to ask for help?

I went right home and the first thing I did after I put the cold items in the refrigerator was to make a shake. You better believe I will do everything in my power to drink every drop of the milk I struggled so hard to garner.

librarianintx

Standing

Building on my last post -

Standing. It's getting tougher.

Maybe it's more difficult these days because I'm enduring my typical inner ear Spring flare-up. That's the best case scenario - that I can tie it in with that and eventually it will improve.

Monday was a rough one. Work and then I had a doctor's appointment - with the inner ear specialist! It was just my yearly appointment to get my med refills basically. During the approximately four minutes that he's in the room with me, he typically spends three and a half minutes using a touch screen computer and the other thirty seconds looking in my ears. That's it. See ya next year.

The 30 minute window for my ride home began at 4:45. My appointment was done shortly after 3:30. So around 4:45 I went downstairs. And thus began the hardest part of the day. Because there is nowhere to sit downstairs. No bench or chair inside or outside. I can't sit on a curb because I can't get myself back up. And there are two entrances to that building. So I needed to be outside to make sure I didn't miss my ride. This is what curb to curb service means.

So there I stood for nearly thirty minutes, trying not to lose my balance; trying not to worry about how bad my thin hair looked blowing in the hazy wind of a humid afternoon; trying not to cry as people exited the building, slid into their cars, and drove off; trying not to worry that I looked like a homeless person asking for a donation.

Since standing next to something can somewhat help my balance, I was near a car, but not leaning up against it in case it had an alarm. And suddenly guess who's standing next to me: my doctor! Guess who is the owner of the car that I chose to help me attempt to stay upright?

"Waiting for your ride?" he asked.
It's already one of our longest conversations ever.
"No, I'm just choosing to hang out in this parking lot by myself," I replied inside my head.
"I'm about to take your leaning mechanism away," he said, or something to that effect.
"Yippee!" I thought.
Of all the cars to pick.
Thank goodness I saw the van pulling into the parking lot at that moment, and I waved my arm as high as I could manage.

Relieved, I hoisted myself into the seat. I rode home with a lady and her gorgeous long-haired golden retriever dog guide. Too bad it was a guide dog and not a therapy dog. I could have used a big nuzzle and some wet kisses.

My appointment was at 3:30. I got home around 6.

librarianintx

Waiting for the bus

After a nice Mother's Day breakfast at Denny's, where Mom and I were surprised by an anonymous person paying for our meal, we headed to the Megabus stop for another Sunday of my journey home. This is a ritual that takes place at least once or twice a month. Mom and I go out for breakfast and then she waits with me at the stop until the bus comes.

I used to ride Greyhound, but a few years ago the local bus company, Kerrville, was taken over by Megabus. Greyhound is still operating, but now they only stop at the downtown bus station in Houston. They do not pick up or drop off in any outlying areas. If you have ever been to the downtown Houston Greyhound bus station, you know why I avoid it all costs. Despite security presence, the place is dangerous, especially just outside the building. The last time I was there, some guy threatened another guy with a crowbar. The Megabus stop in downtown Houston is a parking lot with a temporary building offering restrooms, limited seating, snack machines, and protection from the weather. Somehow it feels safer than the sturdy Greyhound station. I've had a few pandhandlers approach me on the Megabus grounds, but no one has had a crowbar - yet.

Megabus is way better when it comes to disability accommodations, which is another reason why I prefer it. I don't love waiting outside in the elements, especially in Austin, but there are plans to move the stop to another location which will feature a small building so we can wait inside and have easy access to restrooms.  When you purchase your tickets online with Megabus, you click a button that says you're a disabled passenger, and then specify what kind of assistance you need. Your name and reservation then appear on the driver's manifest, and you are able to board first if you want to. With Greyhound, you are supposed to call a a toll free number and give an operator your information. Maybe the situation has improved by now, but when I was riding Greyhound, the driver rarely received that information. The workers at the Austin Greyhound station were usually nice and tried to be helpful. They would have me wait in a customer service office and then someone would retrieve me when the bus arrived so I could board first and not have to stand in line. Except they would often get busy or somehow forget about me, and I would be trying to get myself and my luggage to the bus as everyone else was boarding.

But the real problems came at the Houston station. I would check in at the customer service desk, then have a seat and someone was supposed to escort me to the front of the line before the other passengers started to board. Except again, they often forgot about me. So me and often my Mom would be trying to get to the front of the line when the bus arrived. And people who had been waiting in that line were not happy to see someone cutting their way to the front. Not happy is an understatement. One time we caused a near riot. A man was furious and when my mother, who is sometimes a little too brave in my opinion, shot back that I was disabled and that's why we were cutting, the man retorted, "I don't care if she's disabled. She needs to wait in line like everybody else." Other people in the line agreed with him and started heckling us. He was pissed, my mom was pissed, other passengers started to get mad, and I was terrified. No Greyhound employees or security personnel came to our aid. I begged my Mom to get someone to walk her to her car, fearing some kind of retaliation, but she didn't, and luckily she was okay.

So I have some PTSD about waiting to board a bus. Luckily I've never had a problem with Megabus. Until last Sunday. At least this time the situation was extremely minor. People were lined up at the stop while Mom and I waited in the car. It was a windy, drizzly day, but it wasn't just the weather. The unfortunate fact is that I am having an increasingly difficult time standing. I'm walking decently, but my poor balance is making standing in one place very hard. So when we saw the bus, Mom grabbed my luggage while I scooted across the street and managed to position myself as first in line. Mom had caught up with me in time to hear a lady say with annoyance, "Excuse me, the line is back there." My mom immediately said, "She has special seating." At that point, the driver recognized me and motioned me over to board first. That was the end of it. The woman didn't say anything else. Crisis averted.

But I still feel unsettled about it. I can honestly understand the woman's frustration. No one likes to see someone cutting in line, especially when you've been following the rules and waiting with at least some level of patience. She doesn't know me and she doesn't know my circumstances. Maybe she would have been more understanding if I had rolled up in a wheelchair or pushing a walker. I could get one of those walkers that opens into a seat, and then I could wait in line like everyone else and not have to stand. But I'm not ready for a walker yet. And if I had a walker, it would be another thing that I would have to physically deal with on my trips, in addition to the bipap and my luggage.

If I don't board first, then I run the risk that the downstairs part of the double-decker Megabus will be full by the time I get on. Then the driver would have to ask someone to give up their seat and move upstairs. I'm obviously nervous that such a scenario would cause even more annoyance and frustration.

I'm not trying to ruin anyone's day or ask for unnecessary special treatment. I'm just trying to get on a bus.

librarianintx

Keys to my success today

Not counting my earlier post regarding my co-worker, here is what I think helped me get through the day today:

Going to bed early last night
Drinking water
Eating protein
Being organized
Staying calm
Persevering

librarianintx

Staying calm in an emergency

Today a co-worker, I'll call her D., was talking to me in my cubicle when she aspirated on the cough drop or candy she was sucking on. I think most of us have been there before - suddenly you've got saliva in your windpipe, and every time you take a breath you make a gasping noise. It's more scary than serious, at least in the short term. For most healthy people, they can clear their airway and cough productively to prevent  pneumonia.

D walked away from my cubicle, and then stood a few paces away, gasping. I feel very guilty that I stayed in my cubicle at first, rooted to my chair in my fear. By the time I went around the corner, another co-worker, LJ, had walked from halfway across the room. Without a word she stood by D and started gently rubbing her back. Her presence was so calm and comforting that within a few seconds D's gasping slowed and then stopped. By then, three more co-workers had walked over. We formed a circle around her, and she was able to talk and say she was okay. Relief was evident, and we all said we've been there before and know how scary it feels.

I marvel at LJ's quick but calm approach that in my opinion brought the situation to a swift resolution. I think her gentle reassurance helped D. to relax and clear her airway more rapidly. Aspirating has always been a frightening occurrence for me because I am more susceptible to pneumonia than the average person. I have always had a big fear of choking. I wish I had been there more for my co-worker, and not become frozen in fear. I'm glad she's okay, and grateful that someone was there who can be brave and strong in an emergency.

librarianintx

Mother's Day

I'm not a mother, and I don't think I ever will be. I don't see myself marrying a man with children still to raise. When I was in high school, I fantasized about a home and children with my then - boyfriend,  but that's all there was to it - a fantasy.

Yes, women with disabilities raise children, but I knew this was not the life I would lead. You have to possess so much physical and emotional fortitude to be a parent - and my stamina in both realms is often sorely lacking.

My father died when I was very young, so I was mostly raised by my mother. She was my everything for so many years, and leaving her daily physical presence to build a life in another city was the hardest thing I've ever done. Raising me and my sister by herself was of course the toughest thing she's ever done, and she did the best she knew how to do. I see her often and we talk on the phone almost daily. I know how difficult it is for her that I live away from her, and I hope she understands that it was a decision I had to make in order to become self sufficient and maintain my independence.

So to all the moms out there - I hope you enjoyed the day set aside specifically to celebrate you and ALL that you do for your families.

librarianintx

The Arts

Touching on a theme from my post the other day - I have rather poor balance, and no sense of rhythm. There are many activities I wish I could do - sing,  draw, play an instrument, especially the piano- but I think if I could choose one hobby that I could physically do - I would want to dance. Well, maybe playing the piano and dancing are tied on my wish list. Of the two, playing the piano is a more feasible possibility. My roommate has a keyboard - maybe someday I can take some lessons. My hands are fairly weak and I have a poor sense of timing, so I'm doubtful about a successful foray into playing the piano.

Dancing is even more of a dream. I know that's why Dancing with the Stars is one of my favorite shows. And daydream I often do, especially when I'm on the bus or using Metro Access. Then I see myself floating across the floor in an elegant waltz, kicking and flicking in a high energy jive, shaking my ass in a sexy samba, or being lifted over the head of my partner in an emotional contemporary performance. I know it will never happen, but still I dream. And every season I see celebrities work hard to achieve their dancing dreams, and I cheer them on from my living room couch.

Dreaming is fine, but having realistic goals is important. There are hobbies that I can be successful at, and those are the ones I should focus on. If you spend all your time being upset about what you can't do, you miss out on the opportunity to cultivate that which you can achieve.

librarianintx

On the bus

On the Megabus earlier today: shoes off, temperature just right, munching on a mesquite-smoked chicken (hormone, nitrate, and preservative-free) and havarti sandwich while rolling through the Central Texas countryside awash with wildflowers and a clear blue sky and mobile blogging about last night's concert - it was a good day.

And yes, the above is a run-on sentence. I know this. I am an English major. I'm asking you to call off the Grammar Police and focus on the emotion the words are intended to convey.

librarianintx

A Fairly Rare Event

It does not happen often, but my roommate and I went to a concert last night. It was our first time at the Circuit of the America's (COTA) Ausin 360 Amphitheater. The venue is new and high quality - red seats with big cupholders attached, adequate room for people who need sustance or a potty break to squeeze by you, and clean restrooms. The staff was friendly and welcoming. The ADA accommodations were top notch. Plenty of disabled parking was available next to the entrance, and a golf cart whisked us to our seats, and was waiting after the concert to return us to the entrance. "Do you want to go up to the food area first?" the cheerful female driver asked. "I'll be happy you to drive you there." We were fine, we assured her. There were water and soda machines next to the restrooms near our seats if we got thirsty.

We were there to see a band called the 1975. The last concert we went to, probably sometime last fall, was to see Jackson Browne. We were likely two of the youngest people at that show. For this one, the average age was likely between 16 - 21. These young people stood, cheered, danced, and sang along from the opening note of the first song. In some ways it was a difficult night for me. I couldn't stand the whole time, and even though we were in the fifth row, I couldn't see when I was sitting. My best view was looking at the phones of the people in the row ahead of me, as they pointed their cameras at the stage. Every time the girls screamed, I knew the charismatic lead singer was shaking his ass or flipping his hair. When I did stand for a few of the songs, my balance was poor and I displayed my embarrassing lack of rhythm. I looked wistfully at the teenage girls in their cute summer dressses, their ponytails bobbing as they danced and sang and waved their arms.

But I still enjoyed myself. I was out doing something fun on a weeknight. Their music is catchy and infectious. I was able to sing along to songs I barely knew. At one point, the lead singer urged everyone to jump, and suddenly there was a sea of people jumping up and down in time to the music. That was my favorite part of the night. An entire amphitheater of people having a blast, being carefree, and I was both a happy witness and a participant - even when my feet had to stay firmly on the concrete.

librarianintx

Yesterday

My list of things to do yesterday wasn't THAT extensive. I've had way longer lists previously. But I felt overwhelmed. I've had so much to do lately. My weeks have been very busy. I knew if I could get home from work and accomplish the tasks on that list, especially cleaning up my room, I would feel so much calmer.

Success!! I went to bed twenty minutes EARLY last night with the bedroom clutter much improved, a safe path to my desk, dirty clothes in the basket, a clean kitchen and more organized bathroom , food and clothes ready for today, and a suitcase packed for Friday. And I even had time to watch two shows!

Determination and attitude aren't the only keys to success, but they are two of the most important.

librarianintx

Ten things that make me happy

In an effort to promote resiliency and combat negativity, I'm listing ten things I do to feel happy, accomplished, successful:

1) Make time to read
2) Make time to journal / blog
3) Do something that I was nervous or scared to do
4) Practice mindfulness and gratefulness
5) Watch dancing / listen to music
6) Learn something new
7) Be organized
8) Eat a healthy meal and drink water
9) Spend time outdoors
10) Be in bed on time

Even when I'm having a bad day (like yesterday), if I can try to do at least a few of these, I will sometimes feel better about the day. Yesterday I wrote two blogs, finished a book I was reading, watched Dancing with the Stars from Monday, and at least tried to focus on mindfulness and gratefulness. And I was in bed early. So if I can concentrate on those five aspects and not on what went wrong yesterday, I will hopefully feel more positive about the day.

As always, a work in progress.

librarianintx

Anger vs Laughter

Update on 5/22/16:

Ooops.

I had tried to insert an image from Facebook about anger vs laughter, but evidently it didn't paste. So this post didn't make much sense. Here's the quote:

"One minute of anger weakens the immune system for four to five hours. One minute of laughter boosts the immune system for over 24 hours." 

So me.
So me.
This is SO me.

I do not know how to deal effectively with anger. I feel emotions so strongly, but I struggle to communicate and manage anger, so it festers and boils inside me. So many hours of so many days have been wasted crying and obsessing over unresolved anger and frustration.

I need to care enough about me to make my emotional well-being a priority. A principle way to achieve this is to believe that my feelings are important and deserve to be recognized and respected.

Communicating how I feel doesn't necessarily mean that anyone will listen, or care. But expressing myself will mean that I care enough about ME to stand up for myself.

librarianintx

Calendar

I get a little chill of excitement every time I turn the calendar to a new month. Does this happen to anyone else? I guess even when life is going badly, you can feel at least some hope in the promise of a new day, a new month, a new year. It's all about perspective and what you choose to focus on.

Plus I love seeing the new picture each month, especially when it's a butterfly calendar.

The days have been flying by, as on the wings of a butterfly. Maybe I can find the time to blog more this month.

librarianintx

Mobile blogging - I'm back!

When I got my new mobile phone a few months ago, I downloaded the Blogger app, but I couldn't access my blog. I didn't remember that my blog was set up through a different gmail account. I thought it was set up through yahoo.

So my blog has been neglected because I've been so busy. AND I thought my desktop computer had died, which further hampered my ability to blog.

So it's good news all around. My desktop computer is actually alive (a friend figured out that the surge protector gave its' life for the computer and printer it was attached to during a power failure) AND my mobile blogging ability is back! I hope this means more blogging in the future!

librarianintx

DWTS Recap, Season 22, Episode 1

Yes, I'm a week behind. Story of my life.

While this wasn't the best first episode of a new season, it was a solid beginning. As usual, there were one or two stand-out performances, a couple of terrible ones, and the rest were decent for their debut dances. Here's my quick re-cap:

My Two Favorites:
Wanya Morris and Lindsey
Wanya is from the 90's R&B group Boyz II Men. They danced a cha cha to the Boyz II Men hit "Motownphilly." I was highly entertained, and so was the audience! There was enough cha cha content in the dance to make Len mostly happy (welcome back Len!) and enough comedy to make the routine super fun as well. Bruno praised his "suave and swagger." The pair triple tied for high score of the night with a 23.

Nyle Dimarco and Peta
Nyle is a winner of America's Next Top Model, and the second Deaf person to be a contestant on DWTS (Marlee Matlin was the first). They performed a H-O-T cha cha. Caliente indeed! Bruno was so overcome he had to run over and touch Nyle. I know he wasn't the only person there who wanted to. They tied with Wanya and Lindsey and another team for the highest score of the night.

My Two Surprises:
Paige Van Zant and Mark
Paige is a pro fighter. I've never heard of her, but when you think of a female fighter, you don't think of dance ability. But Paige coped very well with her foxtrot. She had good flow of movement, and looked feminine  and pretty in her costume. She just needs to work on her timing, and she could be a contender. She received a solid 21 for the night. I do have to ask, though, "What was up with Mark's hair?" :-)

Jody Sweetin and Keo
Hallelujah, Keo may finally have a good one! Jody, from "Full House" fame, was a surprise because she was so nervous and full of doubt in her behind-the-scenes package. To draw a tango in the first week is not easy, but Jody looked fierce and kept a good frame. Carrie Ann was impressed, and so was I. She and Keo received a 20 for the night.

The Best of the Rest:
Ginger Zee and Val
The Good Morning America weatherwoman has an energetic personality and put a lot of pizzaz into her jive. I was actually less enthusiastic than the judges about it, because I don't think she did enough kick and flicks, and I thought her timing may have been a hair off. But it was a fun routine with very good energy. Ginger and Val were the third team to receive a high score of 23.

Middle of the pack:
Two football players, Antonio Brown of the Pittsburgh Steelers (dancing with Sharna) and Von Miller from the Denver Broncos (dancing with Whitney) both earned scores of 21 for the night. Antonio's quickstep was wild and almost on the edge of recklessness, with a lot of time out of hold. Von's foxtrot was a solid performance, but not exactly memorable.

Kim Fields with Sasha
Kim, from "Facts of Life" and more recently "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" danced a sexy cha cha that was just a tad stiff and needed more hip action. She and Sasha have chemistry and look great together. But you know my rant is coming: WHY WERE THERE EXTRA DANCERS?!?! This is only the first episode of the season! They weren't the only team that included extra dancers, but I'll refrain from repeating my rant. Kim and Sasha earned a 20 for their dance.

Marla Maples with Tony
The former Mrs. Trump (and an actress don't forget!) danced an acceptable quickstep that was a bit overly flashy at the end. She looked fantastic, and the judges were impressed. Marla and Tony received a 21 for their dance.

And now for the rough ones:
Mischa Barton and Artem
I know Mischa's tango wasn't good, but I was aghast at Len's harsh comments. She was already nervous and disappointed in her performance, and then Len threw salt on her wounds. He made her cry, and that was so hard to watch. I hope she can come back next week and improve. Shame on you Len! Mischa received a painful score of 16.

Doug Flutie and Karina
Former football great Flutie danced a foxtrot to a Neil Diamond great. Unfortunately, the dance was terrible. Doug was way off, but he tried, and the crowd loved him anyway. Karina did most of the work, and somehow managed to keep her dress from being a heap of fabric on the floor. I swear, it was held together by one thread resting on her hip. Doug received the second lowest score of the night: a 14.

Geraldo Rivera and Edyta
Hooray, Edyta is back after a LONG absence! Unfortunately, her time on the show will likely be extremely brief. Controversial reporter / talk show host Geraldo was abysmal as a dancer. He called himself "The only Puerto Rican who can't dance" and then proved his point. He received a dismal 13 for that "dance."

"America's Favorite Dance Party is back!" (tm Erin Andrews) and I couldn't be happier!

librarianintx 
 

Survivor Season 32 Episode 2

Sigh.
Yes, I'm behind - as usual.

It's already apparent who will be getting the most screen time this season: Debbie, Tai, Caleb, and Alecia especially. Tai and Caleb have a strange bromance thing happening. Debbie is driving her tribe crazy. Alecia is still the one to eliminate in her tribe.

Part of this episode centered on fire - or lack thereof. The Brain tribe was wasting their fire making resources. The Brawn tribe was still struggling to get fire. Amazingly, it was Alecia who finally got their fire going. It didn't help her standing in the group, however.

The Immunity challenge was another physically demanding exercise. In addition, the two winning tribes received fishing kits, one more elaborate than the other of course. The Beauty tribe came in first, and the Brain tribe took second. The Brawn tribe returned to tribal council. The thing I will remember most from this challenge was what a horribly annoying cheerleader Debbie was. She was the person in her tribe designated to sit out. I wish she had played. Her teammates probably did too, or maybe they were able to ignore her.

Before tribal council, the men of the Brawn tribe were ready to send Alecia home. But then Jenn began to plant the idea of an all-girls alliance, which would begin by eliminating Jason. However, at tribal council, Jenn unfortunately overshared. For some reason she decided to lie and say it was Alecia's idea to form an all-girls alliance. I don't know why she did that. It backfired on her, and she was the one kicked off. Alecia survived another tribal council.

librarianintx

I Said Yes to Sugar

All last weekend.

I was offered sugar products three times, and I said yes every time.

Sigh.

I had been doing well. Except for fruit bars, I had not been eating sugary foods. I was drinking my protein shakes, and I was happy. Feeling good. I wasn't missing my sugary snacks like I thought I would.

But when I was offered sugar, I ate it with only a little hesitation. On Friday night, my friends that I was spending the weekend with brought me a chocolate milkshake from Sonic. We were having a late take-out dinner, and the milkshake was a beverage designed to keep me from getting too hungry before the food arrived. The fact that it was a pre-meal snack was helpful, because it meant I didn't drink the whole thing, so I wouldn't get too full. But damn, it was good. Too delicious.

Then I spent time with my mom over the weekend, and she gave me belated Valentine cookies. My mom is famous for her sugar cookies, and she makes them four times a year: for Hanukkah/Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, and Halloween. She gives them to family, friends, co-workers, doctors and dentists. They are made with real butter and either sprinkles or icing, and they are truly sinful. I asked her to give me a small bag because I am trying to cut down on sugar. I ate three cookies last weekend. I guess it could have been worse. I could have consumed the whole bag.

So far at work I have walked away from multiple bags of candy. But the real test came on Monday, when someone brought in donuts. I had wondered if I would be able to resist donuts. I got my answer: a resounding NO! Well, maybe I would have, but a co-worker brought me one because I didn't know they were there. And I couldn't be rude and say no, right? I couldn't tell her to take it away after she had been so kind to think of me. But really...I would have run right over and taken one myself if I had known about them. I think there would have been very little hesitation. It was a busy, stressful day, and I wolfed that thing down like I had been wandering in the desert for a week.

But since then I've been back on track. I had protein shakes on Monday night and last night. I still need to find a substitute for the fruit bars. But I feel like I'm back on the wagon. I'm not too upset with myself. I never claimed I was giving up sugar entirely. I know there will be times when I eat something sugary. I think I'm just upset that it happened four days in a row. But still, cutting down on sugar has been easier than I expected.  

librarianintx

  

Survivor Season 32 - Episode 1

The Survivor top brass has figured out that medical drama creates interest and gets people watching and talking, so although the main theme of this season will be another installment of "Brawn vs Brains vs Beauty," the secondary theme will be "Medical Drama."

We were "treated" to two illnesses on the premiere episode of Season 32: Brain tribe member Aubry suffered through an anxiety attack exacerbated by heat exhaustion, while Brawn tribe member Jennifer experienced a thin but long bug burrowing itself in her ear canal, which caused bleeding and great discomfort. Luckily, both women pulled through their difficulties without needing medical assistance, and they each performed well in the combined immunity / reward challenge. 

There are six members in each of the three tribes, but I'm scratching my head over where three of the eighteen participants have been placed. Former Big Brother contestant Caleb is undoubtedly a good looking dude, but I think he belongs in the Brawn tribe, not the Beauty tribe. Alecia is a wisp of a girl that I would have put in the Beauty tribe, not the Brawn tribe. And no offense honestly, but Tai in the Beauty tribe? I would have put him in the Brain tribe. As someone who grew up in Thailand, he will probably be the most equipped to deal with surviving in this remote part of Southeast Asia.

The first challenge was grueling, especially considering that only the Beauty tribe had fire, so water must have been a concern for the other two tribes. The challenge involved diving for paddles, then turning a boat into a truck, then solving a puzzle. Brawn and brains were required for this event, and the Brain tribe came in first, winning immunity and a big basket of fire-making products. Brawn was sent to tribal council, mainly for two reasons: Darnell dropped the goggles at the beginning of the challenge, and Alecia was like a deer in the headlights when it came to solving the puzzle. So their tribe mates put the two of them on the chopping block. The first vote ended in a tie, but Darnell's torch was snuffed out in the re-vote. I think the tribe made a mistake. True, Darnell dropping the goggles was a costly error. But the Brawn tribe needs brawn, both at camp and in the challenges. Alecia is by far the least brawny person in that tribe.

librarianintx

The Grammy's

I really enjoyed watching the Grammy's this year, and have for the past several years. I am kind of an awards show freak. I say "kind of" because I don't watch all of them, and I don't have the time to watch the red carpet arrivals like I used to. My favorite award shows are the Emmy's, because I watch so much television, and the Grammy's, because I like music. I also like the Golden Globes, because it's about movies and tv, and I like watching tipsy celebrities trying to navigate their way through the maze of tables to ascend the stage.

I don't consider myself an entertainment whore, but I like to see who arrives with who, and what everyone is wearing. Even though Joan is gone and the show isn't the same, I watch the Fashion Police to see if I agree with their best and worst dressed at the awards shows.

Some of my favorite aspects of the Grammy's show:
1) I like how the Grammy's often have singers or groups perform together. Sometimes its someone new on the scene singing with a legend, like Sara Bareilles sharing the stage with Carole King. Sometimes they pair two new performers. And sometimes its about about a bunch of powerhouses coming together to create magic, such as when Stevie Wonder, Pharrell Williams, Daft Punk, and Nile Rogers got everyone on their feet and dancing to "Get Lucky." This year the audience was grooving to a medley of Music Cares Person of the Year Lionel Ritchie's songs, performed by John Legend, Meghan Trainor, Demi Lovato, Luke Bryan, Tyrese, and the man himself.

2) The Grammy's introduces me to performers and songs that I might not have listened to otherwise. I think I am much more open-minded than I used to be about music. I know that I'm not a fan of most rap or country, but I watch every performance on the Grammy's, and I'm often surprised by what I like. This year I really enjoyed Little Big Town's rendition of "Girl Crush," and it has played in my head off and on all week.

3) It warms my heart to see industry people celebrating each other. I know a lot people think celebrities are vapid and don't deserve the fame and money that they have, but I don't necessarily agree. Sure, some celebrities are assholes. But lots of regular people are assholes too. I think singers and musicians work very hard, and they deserve to enjoy the money that they earn. I like seeing people celebrating each other's accomplishments and achievements, and appreciating each other's music. It was great to see someone like Dave Grohl smiling and swaying to "All Night Long," for example. And I know a lot of people think Taylor Swift is a spotlight grabber, often jumping out of her seat and going crazy when someone else wins, or dancing energetically in the audience. But I like that she is so enthusiastic. She doesn't just sit in her seat and look bored. She is fun to watch. And she is close friends with Ed Sheeren, so she was genuinely thrilled when he beat her for Song of the Year on Monday night.

4) The Grammy's in particular used to be quite out of touch with the people who buy and listen to music. I'll never forget when Jethro Tull won the Grammy in 1988 for Best Hard Rock / Metal album. But now I think the Grammy's are much more in tune, pun intended. Rapper Kendrick Lamar was the big winner of the night, and Taylor Swift won Album of the Year. In addition, one of the most popular songs of 2015, Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars' "Uptown Funk" won Record of the Year.

The Grammy's telecast is always a long show, and I went to bed slightly past my bedtime. But it was worth it.

librarianintx

I said no to a cookie!

Last Sunday I bought a container of chocolate chip cookies for a co-worker's birthday. For the rest of that day, those cookies were in my apartment, hidden in a re-usable grocery bag, yes, but I knew they were there. I could have easily swiped a cookie without anyone knowing. But I didn't.

On Monday morning, I put the container, total number of cookies intact, on my co-worker's desk with the card that we had all signed. A few minutes later, I noticed that the cookies had been placed in the communal snack area, by the printer in the office services section of our department. Usually when someone has a birthday we bring in treats to share, and that's where they go, so you can grab a cookie or a handful of goldfish or a piece of Godiva chocolate as you pick up papers from the printer, or grab a stack of envelopes, or a notepad, or a new pen that doesn't leak.

My work for the day necessitated several trips to Office Services. I had printed documents from the Internet and Microsoft Word. I had sent addresses to the label printer from our patron database. I had to make some copies. At least four or five times I found myself in that area, staring at those cookies. Some had disappeared, but definitely all. In the blink of an eye, one of them could have found its way into my hand, then in my mouth, on the way to my stomach. But each time I said no, and kept on walking.

At the end of the day, I went back to my apartment, and I made myself a sugar free chocolate protein shake. I was very proud of myself for avoiding the cookie.

Several months ago I wrote a blog post about sugar. My decision at that time was that I enjoyed my sugary snacks, and I didn't want to give them up. My afternoon cookies or brownies were one of the highlights of my day. Sugar is a staple of the average American diet; can it really be that bad for you?

But since then I have read more, especially about the link between sugar and metastatic breast cancer. Now, I am on a birth control pill, so I am already at a higher risk for breast cancer. I will probably have to go on hormone replacement therapy when I achieve menopause, so that will also increase my risk. And even though I am trying to reduce my sugar intake, I believe I will never completely eliminate sugar from my diet. So why am I trying at all?

I guess I'm hoping that reduction is at least better than no change at all. Since I started to reduce my sugar intake in early January, I think I've only had a sugary snack three times. I had nutella once, a cookie once, and yesterday I indulged in chocolate cake when I took a friend out to lunch for her birthday. The cake was amazing, and I did enjoy it - but not as much as I would have before this new year. I feel better about myself when I avoid eating something high in sugar.

I have been pretty successful with the daily treats. I actually like the taste of the sugar free shakes. I also like the taste of honey in tea instead of sugar. But I am struggling with giving up my daily fruit bar, which has a lot of sugar in it. I haven't found a worthy substitute. I also like yogurt, but I am trying to eat cottage cheese instead.

I miss the carefree days of ignorance. But making healthy eating choices is beginning to feel as satisfying as that chocolate chip cookie hitting my taste buds. I know I won't always say no to a cookie or a piece of cake or scoop of ice cream. But if I can limit sugary treats to special occasions, that would be the new normal I would like to achieve. For now, I would be happy with that.

Time for a shake!

librarianintx

The Ups and Downs of My Grocery Store Experience

Sunday morning in Austin, Texas. A BEAUTIFUL last day in January. Temperatures in the 60's, on the way to a possible record high in the 80's.

Downside #1 of said shopping trip:
There was a re-stocking apocalypse in the fruit and vegetable area, which just happened to be the location of the majority of the items on my carefully crafted list. Evidently most of my fellow shoppers had a similar list, because that section of the store was teeming with frazzled mothers, impatient fathers, hungry children, distracted millennials, shopping carts acting like bumper cars, small dollies, boxes of produce, and harried HEB employees trying to do their job.

But there was an upside to this downside. A very nice female employee went out of her way to track down a black case filled with bags of kale, an important ingredient that I did not want to leave the store without purchasing.

Downside #2:
My driver was less than enthusiastic about helping me with my bags. It's her job, but that doesn't mean she has to like it, and she disliked it quite openly this morning. She was cranky when I politely gave her directions to my apartment, and reminded me that she has picked me up several times from the store. In fact, she seemed to be more than implying that she wished I would shop at a time and day when I would not be on her schedule. Like I can make THAT happen. She actually said  to me, "Do you shop EVERY Sunday morning?" Yes, I do, lady. I shop every Sunday morning for the specific reason to make your life difficult. Actually, I don't shop every Sunday morning.

Related downside to downside #2:
I had to pee like I was nine months pregnant. The kind of needing to pee when your lower abdomen is causing you significant discomfort, and all you can think about is the fact that it might be as long as thirty minutes before you have access to a bathroom. And when you finally get on the bus and you find out that the driver has another pick up before you get to go home - further prolonging what has become a code yellow pee emergency - you can't seem to concentrate on any subject except your brain repeating I HAVE TO PEE like an old record player with a stuck needle. Have I now lost anyone born after 1990?

And now for the upsides of downsides #2 and #2.5:
I killed the driver - WITH KINDNESS PEOPLE! I killed her with kindness. Yeesh. I thanked her profusely when she helped me carry my bags to the door. I smiled and said, "Thank you SO much, and I hope you have a great rest of the day."

Also, I made it to the bathroom without peeing myself. Definitely the biggest accomplishment of the day. Even bigger than walking out of the store with the elusive bag of kale.

But I have one more upside to the grocery store experience, and there is no downside associated with it, which is very exciting. Somehow, even though I am four foot eleven and there are items that I cannot reach, this morning my stretching ability was enhanced. I was able to secure the jar of pickle relish, the box of shredded wheat, AND the usually completely unattainable pack of two black markers from their high perches. Today I did not have to stand in a deserted aisle and stare forlornly at each needed thing, hoping that someone would come around a corner and I would summon the nerve to ask for help. No help required today. An end of January miracle happened there.

librarianintx

My bus ride yesterday morning

For the past few weeks, every Thursday morning I have been on the paratransit bus with a young woman who is blind and mentally challenged. I have been a passenger with her several times over the years. She talks a lot, to the driver and to herself.

Yesterday morning she kept talking about her gynecological visit. She mentioned having a pap smear several times. She also cursed a few times. I have never heard her say dirty words before. Her swearing and talking about her pap smear didn't seem to have a connection. She wasn't cursing about her pap smear. Then she would suddenly let out a loud shriek. Again, the shrieking apparently didn't have anything to do with the gynecology experience. She was simply shrieking.

I am unnerved by sudden, loud noises. And I did not want to hear about pap smears at seven o'clock in the morning. I don't ever want to think about pap smears: mine, her's, or anyone's.

Such is life when you ride the paratransit service. You don't know who you are going to ride with, or how they are going to behave. You have no control over the route, the time, who your driver is, or your fellow passengers. It is a SHARED RIDE SERVICE. I have ridden with incessant talkers; movers and shakers; complainers; terrible singers; foul mouthed, racist old ladies; and people who have peed and pooped on themselves. I have also had the pleasure to ride with many sweet, intelligent, hardworking, caring, funny, happy individuals. I have met a few people that have lived in Austin for decades, and offer memories and stories about the little town that has burgeoned into a major metropolis. I have seen some of the grandest homes in Austin, and some of the seediest apartment complexes. I have enjoyed the hilltop views around Loop 360, witnessed the continued gentrification of the East Side, and felt the desperation of the 7th Street ARCH.

It's not a great situation. But I get where I need to go, and I usually get there on time. I can choose to be upset about the downsides of paratransit, or I can find the humor, the humanity, and the history in what I experience. Most days I opt for the latter.

librarianintx

One entire month

For the entire month of January, 2016, I have been consistent.

An entire month of going to bed on time on Sunday and week nights: by 10:40 pm.

An entire month of getting out of bed on time during the week: by 5:50 a.m.

An entire month of keeping the kitchen clean.

An entire month of taking my medicine daily.

An entire month of doing my morning skin care routine.

There's more, but you get the idea. I don't think I've ever been this consistent for an entire month. It feels great. Consistency makes me happy. Consistency keeps me calm. I am so pleased when my surroundings are organized and look nice. Now when I come home from work, I get my clothes and jewelry ready and make my food for the next day instead of waiting until eight or nine o'clock at night to do it, which makes me run late for eating dinner and getting into bed. It feels so good not to feel rushed. I feel so much better now when I wake up in the morning. That extra thirty minutes to an hour of sleep does wonders for me. I feel more alert and have better energy. And I am usually ready five to ten minutes earlier. Some days I even have time for a quick breakfast. 

Now I need to make time for the activities I enjoy - reading, journaling, blogging. And I still desire a social life. I don't want my existence to focus on keeping organized. There needs to be more to my life than that. When I reflect at the end of each day, I want to have memories, experiences, interesting stories. I want more from my life than "I went to bed on time," or "I didn't leave any dishes in the sink." I want to have time and energy for the organization and the experiences.

librarianintx

New Year's Resolutions 2016

Call them what they are - Don't beat around the bush. They are New Year's Resolutions, and I have a whole list of them. Will I keep the resolutions? Will I achieve the goals I set myself? I don't know. I'll probably have both success and failure like we all do. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

Here's the list, in no particular order:

1) Cut down on sugar
2) Eat better
3) Exercise
4) Get out of my own head!
5) Meditate
6) Stay motivated
7) Write and blog more
8) Look for extra ways of making money
9) Procrastinate less
10) Have experiences. Make memories

librarianintx

Books I read in 2015

My goal was to read at least one book per month, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I read nineteen books in 2015. Here is the list (not in order):

Seeds of Yesterday by V.C. Andrews
Garden of Shadows by V.C. Andrews
Good Kings, Bad Kings: A Novel by Susan Nussbaum
Peony: A Novel of China by Pearl S, Buck
Wifey by Judy Blume
The 100 by Kass Morgan
Wayward Pines (Book One) by Blake Crouch
The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule
The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon
Prince Harry: Brother, Soldier, Son by Penny Junor
I am Nujood, Aged 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali
We were There: Revelations from the Dallas Doctors Who Attended to JFK on November 22, 1963 by Allen Childs
Infinite Sacrifice by L.E. Waters
Behind the Scenes, or Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the White House by Elizabeth Keckley
Adrenalized: Life, Def Leppard, and Beyond by Phil Collen
Say What You Will by Cammie McGovern
A Lincoln: His Last 24 Hours by E. Emerson Reck
Born Into the Children of G-d by Natacha Tormey
Burn Down the Ground by Kambri Crews

Of these nineteen, I read three of them on audio: Wayward Pines, The Stranger Beside Me, and A Lincoln: His Last 24 Hours.

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances Finale

I know, I am super late in posting this. You know, the holidays, plus my mom celebrated a big birthday....blah blah. But what a great finale it was! It was a very fun season to watch. My dream final four would have been Woo, Joe, Spencer, and Jeremy. Yes, I was rooting for Spencer to win, but honestly, I knew he wouldn't. He had too many enemies on the jury. I'm just thrilled he made it to the final tribal council. Jeremy played the family/new baby card at exactly the right time. I'm glad he won; obviously he was one of my favorites. The game meant something very different to Jeremy and Spencer. Jeremy wanted to win for the money. Spencer wanted to win for the title. Both wanted redemption for their first time in the game, but so did everyone this season.

I think its interesting that I like Spencer so much, when so many people seem to view him as arrogant and detached. What I like about Spencer is his determination and scrappiness, for lack of a better term (Blogger doesn't like it!) He is a team player and a good strategist, as well as an excellent puzzle-solver. He does not give up. Somehow he went from first on everyone's lips to be voted out, to making it to the finale tribal council.

Thanks for a fantastic season, Survivor and players! And congratulations to Jeremy and his family!

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances

Two weeks - two medical emergencies. These contestants are SERIOUS. They are giving it everything they have, and I think of the six people remaining in the competition, all of them would be deserving of the million dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor - except Kimmie. I like her; I simply don't think she has done enough to win.

Oh happy days, Abi is gone!! Of course I understand the strategy of taking her to the final tribal council, but I did NOT want her there. She does not deserve it, and she is so mean-spirited and difficult. It made my day to see her walk down those stairs after being blindsided. I was worried that Spencer had gone to the dark side and made a final four pact that included Abi and Wentworth, but luckily he didn't, and stayed with Tasha and Jeremy.

I wanted to throw something at my ailing television when Spencer and Jeremy voted with the girls to eliminate Joe. I understand that Joe is a challenge beast, and they needed to get him out. But I was so freaked out that the girls would pick off the guys. If Spencer, Jeremy, and Joe had enlisted Keith's help, instead of letting him flounder off by himself, and if they had managed to get Tasha on their side, they could have gotten Abi out last week, or even voted out Kimmie. Eliminating one of the two would have broken the girls voting block. Then at the beginning of this week's episode, both Jeremy and Spencer were regretting their decision to vote out Joe. DUH!! But luckily, it worked out okay. Spencer won the immunity challenge, Tasha voted with him and Jeremy, and they didn't end up needing Keith, but I think they should still get him on their side.

Joe is one of my favorites, and I was so sorry to see him go. He had a great shot at winning, and he deserved to win. He is so great at challenges, and he's such a good person. I could have slapped Abi for the way she talked about him after tribal council.

ANYTHING can happen in the finale next week. Everyone except Kimmie, and to a certain extent Tasha, are very strong players and can win challenges. Of course I want Spencer to win, and I know he's still a long shot, but his odds have definitely improved greatly. He's very good at puzzles, and his patience and stamina have improved. The person I am most worried about is Wentworth. She has proven her ability to win, and she could easily get Keith into an alliance with her and Kimmie, and maybe pull in Tasha, although hopefully not. The girls often excel at endurance challenges, and she definitely could outlast everyone in such a scenario. If Spencer doesn't win, then I hope Jeremy does, or Keith. I am not rooting for Wentworth, but would give her props if she did, because she is deserving.

librarianintx