I wore a bright yellow shirt today. I even put on a necklace and earrings.
It was a beautiful day in the ATX, sun shining and clear blue sky.
But it was too chilly for me to go outside.
If it's even safe for me to be outside.
It was a busy, productive work day. I made two great contacts that will hopefully help our library patrons that don't have Internet access. It was so great to talk with someone who was as excited as I was about networking and resource sharing. That made my day.
Unfortunately after work I spent too much time on Facebook and watching television. Watching the news is always my downfall. Too many unknowns. Too many stories that scare me and make me second guess the decisions that I'm making. Too much frustration and anger over talk that society might open up too soon. Too much anxiety because I don't know when it will be safe for me to live a normal life again. Too much sadness over the current loss of the independence I worked so damn hard to achieve.
I have to break the cycle of fear and anxiety and frustration when it washes over me. So I exercised. I listened to music. I drank water. And I repeated to myself in my head,
I am not sick today.
I am not sick today.
I am not sick today.
I am not sick today.
I am not sick today.
Be present.
Live in the moment.
Don't sit and around and wait for something bad to happen.
Know and understand that in this moment you are okay.
librarianintx
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