For me, last night's finale Drag Race All Stars Season 3 can be summarized in two words:
EPIC FAIL
The finale was right up there with other reality show disastrous reveals:
When Gretchen beat Mondo on "Project Runway."
When Kris Allen bested Adam Lambert on "American Idol."
When Josh won over Paul in "Big Brother."
and again when Marissa was crowned the winner of "Celebrity Big Brother" over Ross.
All painful memories.
Some more recent than others.
Just about everyone who watches a reality show picks a favorite and cheers for them.
So I know there are people out there celebrating this morning that Trixie is now in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
But I also believe there were many more people cursing at their televisions (or tablets, computers, phones, etc) that Shangela was denied her rightful crown.
All season there have been two front runners on this show:
Shangela and Ben De La Creme (also known as Ben or De La)
Between them, they won the majority of the challenges.
Which meant that they also had the power to eliminate fellow queens from the competition.
And therein lies the problem.
If RuPaul had kept the power for herself, with the final four queens to choose from, I absolutely believe that Shangela would be waking up this morning with the crown and scepter.
But Ru allowed six bitter bitches to eliminate two of the four.
They denied Shangela the opportunity to compete in the final lip sync.
Which she would have slayed of course.
I love De La, but I don't have much sympathy for her.
She didn't win because she quit.
Her choice.
Shangela didn't quit.
She fought and worked until the very end.
She deserves the title.
Luckily, most of the contestants on Drag Race have huge fan bases, and build successful careers for themselves.
Shangela was a star before "All Stars," and a star she will continue to be.
If anything she could shine even brighter, because so many people will feel she was robbed.
Thorgy, Aja, Morgan, Chi Chi, Milk, even De La - y'all might need to be a little worried.
Bitter don't glitter.
librarianintx
Friday, March 16, 2018
"Be on Time Chronicles" 3/16/18
There is no way to put this delicately.
I almost missed my ride this morning because I had to take a dump.
Para-transit doesn't wait for anything.
Not for meetings that run long.
Not for fire drills at work.
Not for Mother Nature.
And if you miss your ride, you're not guaranteed another one.
I had to make a choice.
Risk an uncomfortable ride...
perhaps even a stomach emergency on the way...
or take of business.
Honestly, my gastrointestinal system decided for me.
Luckily it was a fairly quick process this morning.
But there were housekeeping duties to attend to, if you know what I mean.
And I am a religious hand washer, especially after THAT activity.
Luckily, it all worked out.
The bus WAS outside when I came out of the bathroom.
I don't know when it arrived.
But evidently I was within my five minute window.
My apologies if this post is TMI.
Just telling it like it is.
I am fortunate.
At least I have alternative sources for transportation.
But they all involve spending money...
extra time...
and relying on strangers...
which is always a gamble.
And no transportation is 100% reliable of course.
I was groggy and shuffling when I first got up.
My eyes would barely stay open.
Being faced with losing your ride to work and having to pay for alternate transportation wakes you up quick.
I grabbed my bag and moderately sprinted out the door.
Success! (in more than ways than one)
librarianintx
I almost missed my ride this morning because I had to take a dump.
Para-transit doesn't wait for anything.
Not for meetings that run long.
Not for fire drills at work.
Not for Mother Nature.
And if you miss your ride, you're not guaranteed another one.
I had to make a choice.
Risk an uncomfortable ride...
perhaps even a stomach emergency on the way...
or take of business.
Honestly, my gastrointestinal system decided for me.
Luckily it was a fairly quick process this morning.
But there were housekeeping duties to attend to, if you know what I mean.
And I am a religious hand washer, especially after THAT activity.
Luckily, it all worked out.
The bus WAS outside when I came out of the bathroom.
I don't know when it arrived.
But evidently I was within my five minute window.
My apologies if this post is TMI.
Just telling it like it is.
I am fortunate.
At least I have alternative sources for transportation.
But they all involve spending money...
extra time...
and relying on strangers...
which is always a gamble.
And no transportation is 100% reliable of course.
I was groggy and shuffling when I first got up.
My eyes would barely stay open.
Being faced with losing your ride to work and having to pay for alternate transportation wakes you up quick.
I grabbed my bag and moderately sprinted out the door.
Success! (in more than ways than one)
librarianintx
Thirty Day Writing Challenge: A Fruit You Dislike
This is an easy one.
No disrespect to the fruit itself, or to the people who relish it.
I cannot stand coconut.
Just the word makes me shudder.
It's in my top five most hated foods, sharing space with beets, liver, brussel sprouts, and stewed okra and tomatoes (fried okra is perfectly acceptable and I'm a big of fan of tomatoes, but not that slimy concoction that's created from combining the two)
I have never liked coconut, and at this point it's unlikely I ever will.
I would not make it as a contestant on Survivor, when about all you get to eat is coconut, white rice, and occasionally a morsel of fish, unless you win reward challenges.
Of course there are many other reasons why Survivor is not for me: running, diving, climbing, solving puzzles, sunburns, fear of storms, fear of bugs, sleeping outside, being on camera wearing a buff as a shirt / bra, no soap or toothpaste, blindsiding fellow tribe members, the list goes on and on.
I digress.
Coconut is good for you. The fruit is a nutritious source of fiber, vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. It has tons of calcium, potassium, and magnesium, as well as plenty of electrolytes. (I googled it). Plus for people who cut their own coconut (mainly Survivor contestants I would think) getting the shell open is quite a workout. So for people who consume it - good for you! You're eating healthy. I'll be getting my calcium, potassium, and fiber from other sources. And I'll be finding another way to get some exercise.
Now, for the next question:
Is coconut a fruit?
I sure hope so.
Otherwise this post was a waste of time, and I have to choose another fruit.
I can't think of another fruit I dislike more than coconut.
So hopefully I'm right.
Back to Google I go!
Okay, I'm in luck!
A coconut is considered a fruit, a nut, and a seed.
Works for me!
Still not eating it. Ever.
librarianintx
No disrespect to the fruit itself, or to the people who relish it.
I cannot stand coconut.
Just the word makes me shudder.
It's in my top five most hated foods, sharing space with beets, liver, brussel sprouts, and stewed okra and tomatoes (fried okra is perfectly acceptable and I'm a big of fan of tomatoes, but not that slimy concoction that's created from combining the two)
I have never liked coconut, and at this point it's unlikely I ever will.
I would not make it as a contestant on Survivor, when about all you get to eat is coconut, white rice, and occasionally a morsel of fish, unless you win reward challenges.
Of course there are many other reasons why Survivor is not for me: running, diving, climbing, solving puzzles, sunburns, fear of storms, fear of bugs, sleeping outside, being on camera wearing a buff as a shirt / bra, no soap or toothpaste, blindsiding fellow tribe members, the list goes on and on.
I digress.
Coconut is good for you. The fruit is a nutritious source of fiber, vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. It has tons of calcium, potassium, and magnesium, as well as plenty of electrolytes. (I googled it). Plus for people who cut their own coconut (mainly Survivor contestants I would think) getting the shell open is quite a workout. So for people who consume it - good for you! You're eating healthy. I'll be getting my calcium, potassium, and fiber from other sources. And I'll be finding another way to get some exercise.
Now, for the next question:
Is coconut a fruit?
I sure hope so.
Otherwise this post was a waste of time, and I have to choose another fruit.
I can't think of another fruit I dislike more than coconut.
So hopefully I'm right.
Back to Google I go!
Okay, I'm in luck!
A coconut is considered a fruit, a nut, and a seed.
Works for me!
Still not eating it. Ever.
librarianintx
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Thirty Day Writing Challenge: Ageism
Well, obviously I'm against ageism.
My birthday was five days ago. I am 50 now. They used to say that your life is over at 50. The best years are behind you. But now many say that life begins at 50. I think a metamorphosis can occur when you turn 50. There can be a feeling of wanting to get your life balanced, and accomplish the goals you have for your life. That is the way I'm feeling. I feel like I've wasted a lot of my life being sick, afraid of failure, afraid of success, anxious about everything. Now is my time is my new mantra. Stop worrying and live my life.
Do what you enjoy, no matter what age you are. If you're over 50, but you love to roller skate, then roller skate. Don't stop doing it because you think it's an activity just for kids. Do what makes you happy, what keeps you fulfilled and loving life. Cross stitching. Hip hop dancing. Playing the piano. Skiing. Baking. Whatever.
And definitely continue to learn and try new things. That keeps you young: physically, mentally, and emotionally, and gets you excited about life every day. Learn a language. Play a new game. Seek out free classes on topics that interest you. Stay current with technology. Meet new people. Be as physically active as you can. Make taking care of you a top priority: mind, body, and spirit.
NEVER say to yourself:
I'm too old to do this.
or
I'm too old to learn how to do this.
Stay positive
Believe in your abilities
Don't procrastinate
Accomplish your goals - and then come up with new ones
LIVE
It's a cliche, but it's true:
Age is only a number.
Look young.
Act young
Feel young
librarianintx
My birthday was five days ago. I am 50 now. They used to say that your life is over at 50. The best years are behind you. But now many say that life begins at 50. I think a metamorphosis can occur when you turn 50. There can be a feeling of wanting to get your life balanced, and accomplish the goals you have for your life. That is the way I'm feeling. I feel like I've wasted a lot of my life being sick, afraid of failure, afraid of success, anxious about everything. Now is my time is my new mantra. Stop worrying and live my life.
Do what you enjoy, no matter what age you are. If you're over 50, but you love to roller skate, then roller skate. Don't stop doing it because you think it's an activity just for kids. Do what makes you happy, what keeps you fulfilled and loving life. Cross stitching. Hip hop dancing. Playing the piano. Skiing. Baking. Whatever.
And definitely continue to learn and try new things. That keeps you young: physically, mentally, and emotionally, and gets you excited about life every day. Learn a language. Play a new game. Seek out free classes on topics that interest you. Stay current with technology. Meet new people. Be as physically active as you can. Make taking care of you a top priority: mind, body, and spirit.
NEVER say to yourself:
I'm too old to do this.
or
I'm too old to learn how to do this.
Stay positive
Believe in your abilities
Don't procrastinate
Accomplish your goals - and then come up with new ones
LIVE
It's a cliche, but it's true:
Age is only a number.
Look young.
Act young
Feel young
librarianintx
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Thirty Day Writing Challenge: One Book You Loved, and One You Didn't
I don't read as much as I'd like to, and I don't read as much as some of my friends, but I am a pretty avid reader, and I enjoy it very much. I like fiction, non-fiction, biography, young adult, dystopian, and some science fiction.
I cannot pick a very favorite book. That would be too difficult. But I can mention one I didn't like. It is rare for me to give up on a book. I can usually power through it, even if I'm not totally enjoying it. But there is one book that I simply could not get through. No offense to the author, because she is wildly successful, although admittedly controversial. The book is Fifty Shades of Grey.
I'm not a prude. The sex scenes didn't make me stop reading. It was the dialogue. Especially the dialogue of the female lead character. I could not stand her stammering and indecision and self-consciousness. Nearly every page was filled with, "Wow...um...gee..gosh...well...I don't know..." At least that's the way I remember it. I tried to read it a number of years ago, and gave up. I don't recall what chapter I was on, and I don't care enough to go back and look.
I am NOT a literary snob. I don't read many classics. I'm fine with smut. One of my favorite books that I read last year was Tampa by Alissa Nutting. That is one of the dirtiest books I've ever read. But it was an interesting story. The book had flow. It wasn't filled with useless, plodding dialogue between the sex scenes.
I know a lot of people feel the way that I do about the Fifty Shades of Grey series.
But many people also adore the books.
Nothing wrong with that.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
There are millions of books out there.
No need to waste your time plodding through something that you don't like.
Move on to another read.
librarianintx
I cannot pick a very favorite book. That would be too difficult. But I can mention one I didn't like. It is rare for me to give up on a book. I can usually power through it, even if I'm not totally enjoying it. But there is one book that I simply could not get through. No offense to the author, because she is wildly successful, although admittedly controversial. The book is Fifty Shades of Grey.
I'm not a prude. The sex scenes didn't make me stop reading. It was the dialogue. Especially the dialogue of the female lead character. I could not stand her stammering and indecision and self-consciousness. Nearly every page was filled with, "Wow...um...gee..gosh...well...I don't know..." At least that's the way I remember it. I tried to read it a number of years ago, and gave up. I don't recall what chapter I was on, and I don't care enough to go back and look.
I am NOT a literary snob. I don't read many classics. I'm fine with smut. One of my favorite books that I read last year was Tampa by Alissa Nutting. That is one of the dirtiest books I've ever read. But it was an interesting story. The book had flow. It wasn't filled with useless, plodding dialogue between the sex scenes.
I know a lot of people feel the way that I do about the Fifty Shades of Grey series.
But many people also adore the books.
Nothing wrong with that.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
There are millions of books out there.
No need to waste your time plodding through something that you don't like.
Move on to another read.
librarianintx
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
"Be on Time Chronicles" 3/13/18
Attitude isn't everything, but it is important. Attitude can have a big effect on how you deal with a situation. So can humor.
Last Thursday I was at the grocery store after work. I was tired. My ride was late. I had groceries to get into the refrigerator. I was irritated. I called, and was informed by ride would be there is about two minutes.
Luckily it was one of my favorite drivers. He is a nut. We have fun teasing each other. When I saw him, I blamed him for being late, even though we both know it's not his fault. It's the schedule. As I was getting in the vehicle, he said, "I have more bad news for you. We have another pickup."
On any other day, that statement would have made me even more upset than I already was. I live less than a mile from the grocery store. We hardly ever have to pick up someone else; I almost always get dropped off right away. The ride was already late, my groceries needed to get in the refrigerator, I wanted to go home!! But since I was riding with my favorite driver and we have so much fun together, my frustration ebbed away. Plus, I just decided: what can I do about the situation? Can I force him to take me home first? No. He has to follow his manifest. Can I pitch a fit so loud and forceful that he HAS to take me home first? Nope. Can I call Metro, demand to speak to a supervisor, and scream and yell until I get my way? Nada. The schedule is what it is. Occasionally, it can be altered, but not usually. The supervisor and the driver would have simply repeated the Metro Access mantra to me: "THIS IS A SHARED RIDE SERVICE." So what was the point of continuing to be upset?
So we traveled across the freeway and picked up a gentleman at the credit union on the west side of Parmer Lane. We arrived in less than five minutes. On the way, I was entertained with my driver's stories of his recent cruise to Jamaica. When the gentleman we were there for entered the van, I said, "You know, sir, that when you get picked up from a bank you need to have enough cash for everyone in the vehicle." Now, humor can be a very subjective thing. Not everyone "gets" funny. He could have become angry when I said that. Luckily, he had a sense of humor, and we all burst into laughter. He then said, "Next time I'll make my pickup from the KFC across the street." "That won't help you much," I retorted quickly. "Then you'll be expected to have a bucket of chicken for everyone."
I arrived home giggling and less tired than I was fifteen minutes earlier.
The power of humor.
And a positive attitude.
librarianintx
Last Thursday I was at the grocery store after work. I was tired. My ride was late. I had groceries to get into the refrigerator. I was irritated. I called, and was informed by ride would be there is about two minutes.
Luckily it was one of my favorite drivers. He is a nut. We have fun teasing each other. When I saw him, I blamed him for being late, even though we both know it's not his fault. It's the schedule. As I was getting in the vehicle, he said, "I have more bad news for you. We have another pickup."
On any other day, that statement would have made me even more upset than I already was. I live less than a mile from the grocery store. We hardly ever have to pick up someone else; I almost always get dropped off right away. The ride was already late, my groceries needed to get in the refrigerator, I wanted to go home!! But since I was riding with my favorite driver and we have so much fun together, my frustration ebbed away. Plus, I just decided: what can I do about the situation? Can I force him to take me home first? No. He has to follow his manifest. Can I pitch a fit so loud and forceful that he HAS to take me home first? Nope. Can I call Metro, demand to speak to a supervisor, and scream and yell until I get my way? Nada. The schedule is what it is. Occasionally, it can be altered, but not usually. The supervisor and the driver would have simply repeated the Metro Access mantra to me: "THIS IS A SHARED RIDE SERVICE." So what was the point of continuing to be upset?
So we traveled across the freeway and picked up a gentleman at the credit union on the west side of Parmer Lane. We arrived in less than five minutes. On the way, I was entertained with my driver's stories of his recent cruise to Jamaica. When the gentleman we were there for entered the van, I said, "You know, sir, that when you get picked up from a bank you need to have enough cash for everyone in the vehicle." Now, humor can be a very subjective thing. Not everyone "gets" funny. He could have become angry when I said that. Luckily, he had a sense of humor, and we all burst into laughter. He then said, "Next time I'll make my pickup from the KFC across the street." "That won't help you much," I retorted quickly. "Then you'll be expected to have a bucket of chicken for everyone."
I arrived home giggling and less tired than I was fifteen minutes earlier.
The power of humor.
And a positive attitude.
librarianintx
30 Day Writing Challenge: Tattoos
I don't have any tattoos. Honestly, I'm not a fan of them. I think one or two small ones are okay. But I don't understand covering yourself in tattoos. I don't think most of them are attractive or appealing. Just my opinion.
Having said all that, I have entertained the idea of getting a tattoo, but not seriously. Sometimes I think of doing something that for me would be wild and crazy, but then the feeling passes. I never follow through.
If I did get a tattoo, it would likely be a butterfly. The problem is, I would want it to show of course, so people could see it, but I wouldn't want it to be prominent, or interfere with what I'm wearing. For example, I could get a small tattoo on my ankle, which might look cute when I'm dressed casually in capris pants or a summer dress. But I wouldn't necessarily want the tattoo to show if I was dressed for a wedding or work event. Maybe the tattoo could be covered up with make-up sometimes. I don't know.
Another problem is that I have a low tolerance for pain. I'm a wuss, a weanie. I don't think I could do it. Not even a small one.
So I'm not saying never. But I am saying probably not.
librarianintx
Having said all that, I have entertained the idea of getting a tattoo, but not seriously. Sometimes I think of doing something that for me would be wild and crazy, but then the feeling passes. I never follow through.
If I did get a tattoo, it would likely be a butterfly. The problem is, I would want it to show of course, so people could see it, but I wouldn't want it to be prominent, or interfere with what I'm wearing. For example, I could get a small tattoo on my ankle, which might look cute when I'm dressed casually in capris pants or a summer dress. But I wouldn't necessarily want the tattoo to show if I was dressed for a wedding or work event. Maybe the tattoo could be covered up with make-up sometimes. I don't know.
Another problem is that I have a low tolerance for pain. I'm a wuss, a weanie. I don't think I could do it. Not even a small one.
So I'm not saying never. But I am saying probably not.
librarianintx
Monday, February 26, 2018
Celebrity Big Brother finale - My Thoughts
I do this to myself so often - I watch a reality tv show, get hugely invested in a particular contestant, and feel very disappointed when that person doesn't win.
Such was the case with the first ever American edition of Celebrity Big Brother.
I wasn't going to watch because Omarosa was a contestant. But I changed my mind, and it was an entertaining, fast-paced competition. Some of the contestants were Big Brother superfans. A few contestants knew very little about the show, and that was evident from their game play, or lack thereof.
I was rooting for Ross Matthews from day one, and I absolutely think he was robbed. Marissa was my second choice, but a distant second.
For better or worse, to have any shot at winning Big Brother, there are a few things you have to do:
1) make multiple alliances, and then blindside members of those alliances
2) make promises and then break those promises
3) do anything you can to win competitions
If you make it to the final two in Big Brother, your fate is ultimately decided by the nine jurors, all of whom are evicted houseguests. So all the people you wronged, backstabbed, etc are now deciding if you should win the prize and the title. The jurors have one of two options:
1) They can be bitter and deny you the win.
2) They can reward your game play and award you the victory.
Marissa, Ross, Omarosa, and Shannon are self-identified superfans. They claim to have watched the show for years and know how to play it. Yet Omarosa and Shannon both voted for Marissa to win. That tells me that they were both bitter and voted for someone who didn't deserve to win. Shannon looked like an especially sore loser at the finale.
Marissa and Ross were a team pretty much from day one. Both made big moves and did what they needed to do to secure their safety from day to day. But here's the big difference: Ross was the mastermind. Ross came up with the big plays. Ross was the one who secured multiple alliances. Marissa simply went along with what he devised. And sometimes she struggled with those decisions, such as when Ross wanted her to form an alliance with James and Mark. She eventually did it, but it wasn't easy for her. In addition, Ross won multiple Head of Household and Power of Veto competitions. Marissa only won a single time, but it was undoubtedly the most important competition of the season: The final Head of Household.
There was something else going on this season: The women really wanted a female to win Celebrity Big Brother. There was all-girl alliance, although it only lasted for about five minutes. But there were more women than men this season, and ultimately all the women except Brandi voted for Marissa. I'm all for girl power, but not when it means that a female wins a competition solely because of her gender, and not because she deserved the title. Marissa played a good game, but she wasn't a stronger competitor than Ross.
Still, if Ross didn't win, then Marissa was my second choice. I honestly didn't feel like anyone else was worthy of the title. Mark, Metta, Chuck - cool guys, but not good Big Brother players at all. James - way too arrogant. Brandi - train wreck. Shannon started off so strong and then absolutely cratered when the house turned against her. Omarosa is a powerful personality but she lied and stirred the pot too much. Keshia also began the game in a good position but ultimately begged to be voted out (I won't comment on that.) Ariadna would have been my third choice to win. She played a decent game.
Thank goodness Ross at least came in second, and he won fan favorite too! Thank you Big Brother voters! The consensus I'm seeing on social media is that Ross should have won. I definitely concur. Still, congrats to Marissa. Ross, you were great! You did everything you could to win. I'm sorry you played with such bitter people who denied your rightful victory.
librarianintx
Such was the case with the first ever American edition of Celebrity Big Brother.
I wasn't going to watch because Omarosa was a contestant. But I changed my mind, and it was an entertaining, fast-paced competition. Some of the contestants were Big Brother superfans. A few contestants knew very little about the show, and that was evident from their game play, or lack thereof.
I was rooting for Ross Matthews from day one, and I absolutely think he was robbed. Marissa was my second choice, but a distant second.
For better or worse, to have any shot at winning Big Brother, there are a few things you have to do:
1) make multiple alliances, and then blindside members of those alliances
2) make promises and then break those promises
3) do anything you can to win competitions
If you make it to the final two in Big Brother, your fate is ultimately decided by the nine jurors, all of whom are evicted houseguests. So all the people you wronged, backstabbed, etc are now deciding if you should win the prize and the title. The jurors have one of two options:
1) They can be bitter and deny you the win.
2) They can reward your game play and award you the victory.
Marissa, Ross, Omarosa, and Shannon are self-identified superfans. They claim to have watched the show for years and know how to play it. Yet Omarosa and Shannon both voted for Marissa to win. That tells me that they were both bitter and voted for someone who didn't deserve to win. Shannon looked like an especially sore loser at the finale.
Marissa and Ross were a team pretty much from day one. Both made big moves and did what they needed to do to secure their safety from day to day. But here's the big difference: Ross was the mastermind. Ross came up with the big plays. Ross was the one who secured multiple alliances. Marissa simply went along with what he devised. And sometimes she struggled with those decisions, such as when Ross wanted her to form an alliance with James and Mark. She eventually did it, but it wasn't easy for her. In addition, Ross won multiple Head of Household and Power of Veto competitions. Marissa only won a single time, but it was undoubtedly the most important competition of the season: The final Head of Household.
There was something else going on this season: The women really wanted a female to win Celebrity Big Brother. There was all-girl alliance, although it only lasted for about five minutes. But there were more women than men this season, and ultimately all the women except Brandi voted for Marissa. I'm all for girl power, but not when it means that a female wins a competition solely because of her gender, and not because she deserved the title. Marissa played a good game, but she wasn't a stronger competitor than Ross.
Still, if Ross didn't win, then Marissa was my second choice. I honestly didn't feel like anyone else was worthy of the title. Mark, Metta, Chuck - cool guys, but not good Big Brother players at all. James - way too arrogant. Brandi - train wreck. Shannon started off so strong and then absolutely cratered when the house turned against her. Omarosa is a powerful personality but she lied and stirred the pot too much. Keshia also began the game in a good position but ultimately begged to be voted out (I won't comment on that.) Ariadna would have been my third choice to win. She played a decent game.
Thank goodness Ross at least came in second, and he won fan favorite too! Thank you Big Brother voters! The consensus I'm seeing on social media is that Ross should have won. I definitely concur. Still, congrats to Marissa. Ross, you were great! You did everything you could to win. I'm sorry you played with such bitter people who denied your rightful victory.
librarianintx
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
"Be on Time Chronicles" 2/21/18
When you ride on Metro Access, you have a choice of three types of vehicles.
Wait, let me re-phrase that.
There is no choice on para-transit.
You are placed in one of three types of vehicles.
Wait.
That's not true either.
It depends on your disability, and what kind of mobility device you use, and if you use one at all.
If you use a power wheelchair, you can only ride on what I call "the short bus." (I'm not the only one who uses that term)
If you use a manual wheelchair, then you will either ride on the short bus, or what I call the "refrigerator car" or "box car" (the actual name for the vehicle is "MV1".)
If you use a walker, or no mobility device, then you might ride on the short bus, the "refrigerator car" or the minivan.
My favorite vehicle is the minivan. It is the most comfortable, and the easiest one to enter and exit, unless you're wearing a winter coat and/or loaded down with bags / luggage, etc. Still, the minivan is the best. The "refrigerator car" is okay, but the bench seat can be crowded when three people sit there, and my feet don't touch the floor, which is annoying. My least favorite vehicle in the short bus. The steps are steep, and the bus doesn't handle potholes, speed bumps, road humps, or really any roads at all well. The short buses have lifts, and most of them rattle when the vehicle is in motion. Like, a lot.
So this morning I drew the short straw, in more ways than one. I struggled up the steps in my winter coat with my rather bulky bag and sat in the second row of seats. There are six rows of seats on the bus, with two seats per row. That's twelve seats for the arithmetic-challenged. I sat in the second row.
I calmly read a book on my phone as the driver navigated the wet, cold roads. We picked up a gentleman who settled into a seat in the row behind me. Not a problem.
And then we picked up a second guy, and his female companion. I continued reading my book, with my bag in the seat beside me.
All of a sudden, a slow, thick, deep voice rumbles beside me.
"Move your bag. I'm sittin' there."
Uh...what?
There's nine other seats, including three rows that are completely empty, so he could have two seats to himself.
But no.
He wants to sit next to me.
He insists to sit next to me.
Interestingly, he seemingly has no desire to sit beside the woman he is traveling with.
Sister?
Mother?
Caregiver?
I don't know.
None of my business.
She doesn't try to dissuade him from sitting next to me.
Thanks lady.
I pause a moment, then put my bag on my lap. Immediately he falls into the seat next to me, shoving me up against the window.
I am small.
He is not.
And he has a large lunch tote with him.
The driver takes a look at the inside of the bus before he returns to his seat.
Either he doesn't notice my resting bitch face, or he chooses to ignore my obvious unhappiness with the situation.
Said seatmate attempts to have a conversation with me, but I'm not having it. I respond to his queries with tight, one word responses.
"Where you goin?"
"Work"
"Where you work at?"
"library"
"What street that on?"
"Brazos"
I am being squished.
My arms are caught at my sides.
I can't hold my phone up to read anymore.
He is much too close for comfort.
And then...it's 45 degrees outside, and no heat on in the bus, but my new companion calls out, "Hey driver, could you turn on the AC?"
I'm channeling my inner drag queen as I scream inside my head, "Oh no you better don't!"
I want to suggest to him that he might cool off if he removes his heavy jacket, AND puts a little breathing space between the two of us. Translation, "Get the frack off me!"
I will survive this ride.
I will survive this ride.
I will survive this ride.
And I do.
We pull up to the library, and with a heavy sigh Mr. Friendly unlatches his seat belt and lets me exit.
I make my escape.
I could have been nicer.
It's true.
I'm just someone who needs personal space from strangers.
Especially in the morning.
No....
ANYTIME
librarianintx
Wait, let me re-phrase that.
There is no choice on para-transit.
You are placed in one of three types of vehicles.
Wait.
That's not true either.
It depends on your disability, and what kind of mobility device you use, and if you use one at all.
If you use a power wheelchair, you can only ride on what I call "the short bus." (I'm not the only one who uses that term)
If you use a manual wheelchair, then you will either ride on the short bus, or what I call the "refrigerator car" or "box car" (the actual name for the vehicle is "MV1".)
If you use a walker, or no mobility device, then you might ride on the short bus, the "refrigerator car" or the minivan.
My favorite vehicle is the minivan. It is the most comfortable, and the easiest one to enter and exit, unless you're wearing a winter coat and/or loaded down with bags / luggage, etc. Still, the minivan is the best. The "refrigerator car" is okay, but the bench seat can be crowded when three people sit there, and my feet don't touch the floor, which is annoying. My least favorite vehicle in the short bus. The steps are steep, and the bus doesn't handle potholes, speed bumps, road humps, or really any roads at all well. The short buses have lifts, and most of them rattle when the vehicle is in motion. Like, a lot.
So this morning I drew the short straw, in more ways than one. I struggled up the steps in my winter coat with my rather bulky bag and sat in the second row of seats. There are six rows of seats on the bus, with two seats per row. That's twelve seats for the arithmetic-challenged. I sat in the second row.
I calmly read a book on my phone as the driver navigated the wet, cold roads. We picked up a gentleman who settled into a seat in the row behind me. Not a problem.
And then we picked up a second guy, and his female companion. I continued reading my book, with my bag in the seat beside me.
All of a sudden, a slow, thick, deep voice rumbles beside me.
"Move your bag. I'm sittin' there."
Uh...what?
There's nine other seats, including three rows that are completely empty, so he could have two seats to himself.
But no.
He wants to sit next to me.
He insists to sit next to me.
Interestingly, he seemingly has no desire to sit beside the woman he is traveling with.
Sister?
Mother?
Caregiver?
I don't know.
None of my business.
She doesn't try to dissuade him from sitting next to me.
Thanks lady.
I pause a moment, then put my bag on my lap. Immediately he falls into the seat next to me, shoving me up against the window.
I am small.
He is not.
And he has a large lunch tote with him.
The driver takes a look at the inside of the bus before he returns to his seat.
Either he doesn't notice my resting bitch face, or he chooses to ignore my obvious unhappiness with the situation.
Said seatmate attempts to have a conversation with me, but I'm not having it. I respond to his queries with tight, one word responses.
"Where you goin?"
"Work"
"Where you work at?"
"library"
"What street that on?"
"Brazos"
I am being squished.
My arms are caught at my sides.
I can't hold my phone up to read anymore.
He is much too close for comfort.
And then...it's 45 degrees outside, and no heat on in the bus, but my new companion calls out, "Hey driver, could you turn on the AC?"
I'm channeling my inner drag queen as I scream inside my head, "Oh no you better don't!"
I want to suggest to him that he might cool off if he removes his heavy jacket, AND puts a little breathing space between the two of us. Translation, "Get the frack off me!"
I will survive this ride.
I will survive this ride.
I will survive this ride.
And I do.
We pull up to the library, and with a heavy sigh Mr. Friendly unlatches his seat belt and lets me exit.
I make my escape.
I could have been nicer.
It's true.
I'm just someone who needs personal space from strangers.
Especially in the morning.
No....
ANYTIME
librarianintx
Monday, February 12, 2018
30 Day Writing Challenge: Someone Who Fascinates You and Why
I'm back to the 30 Day Writing Challenge! :)
Growing up, I have been fascinated by three women in particular: Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne Frank, and Helen Keller. They are my historical triumvirate.
I was obsessed with the "Little House on the Prairie" franchise growing up. I still am. I have read all the books in the series, I watched the TV show, the made-for-tv movies, and I'm still reading books that are being published about Laura and her family. I read a biography about her daughter, Rose Wilder Lane, and I read at least one of the children's books based on her life that was written by Rose's "adopted" son. It has been a dream of mine to visit one of the museums, to see Pa's fiddle and Mary's organ and the items from the house on Rocky Ridge Farm. I have mixed emotions about the recent allegations that Rose likely was the principle author of the "Little House" series. Being an aspiring author myself, it would be sad to me if Laura received all the acclaim for books she didn't actually write. But anyway, I love the books, the illustrations, the story of a girl living during such a period of change in our nation's history. She witnessed the treatment of the Native Americans, the prairie turning into cities, the effects of weather on farming, the Industrial Revolution, the invention of cars and planes, etc.
I have also had an interest in Holocaust literature during much of my life, and Anne Frank's diary was the start of that obsession. I have also read books written by other people about her, including what her life was like in the concentration camps. She was an ordinary girl who lived an extraordinary existence for more than two years, and chronicled her and her family's struggle for historical purposes. I am especially fascinated by the fact that she started re-writing her diary when she thought the war was close to an end. Even at her young age, she understood the significance of her time in forced isolation, and how popular and interesting her story could be. I know that Anne died only weeks before the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp was liberated. I firmly believe that if she had known she was close to freedom, and especially if she had knowledge that her father was still alive, she would have survived.
Helen Keller was perhaps the first person to become famous because of a disability. She became blind and deaf as a child, but went on to become a famous writer, speaker, and activist. She traveled the world, met many famous people, became instrumental in the development of the American Foundation for the Blind, and even starred in a movie. Yet as well-known and influential as she was, she was still constrained by the times she lived in. Her mother had archaic views of people with disabilities, and never allowed her daughter to date or marry. Helen also had strong political views, but her beliefs were often suppressed by the people around her, who believed that the public would only be interested in her disability and philanthropic-related activities. Helen was a woman who enjoyed the fun side of life - bawdy jokes and junk food - but the people in her company felt she needed to be more of a role model, a woman of decorum, grace, and charity. So I find her fascinating not only because of the life she lived and her many accomplishments, but also the struggles she faced to be her own person.
These are my three historical figures of interest; now here are some present-day people that fascinate me:
1) Zach Anner
Zach has Cerebral Palsy, the "sexiest of the palsies" in his words. He is a comedian, author, show writer, and YouTube sensation. He was a co-winner of Oprah's reality show, "Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star," which helped break him into the mainstream. Since then he has hosted a travel show on the OWN network, written a book called If At Birth You Don't Succeed, become a writer for the tv show "Speechless," and continued to create You Tube series. Zach is hilarious! He has a brilliant way of taking what he doesn't do well and creating success and humor from adversity, such as his comedic YouTube series "Workout Wednesdays."
2) Lizzie Velasquez
Lizzie became famous when she was horrifically labeled "The Ugliest Woman in the World" on social media in response to her YouTube videos. Lizzie has a very rare genetic disorder, a type of Marfan Syndrome. Instead of letting the insults defeat her, Lizzie has faced hate and ignorance with uncommon courage, strength, kindness, and forgiveness. She has traveled the world as a motivational speaker, written four books, and become a powerful force in the anti-bullying movement. Where she once was ridiculed and ostracized, Lizzie is now celebrated and admired. She is a shining example that you can triumph over hardship and succeed despite enormous obstacles. Choosing Happiness and Dare to be Kind are the titles of two of her books.
3) Chris Colfer
Chris was a young, unknown actor when he was cast in Ryan Murphy's wildly popular television show "Glee." He originally read for the role of an established character, but Ryan was so impressed by him that he created a new character just for Chris...Kurt, a boy with big dreams, a big singing voice, and big hopes that the football team will quit tossing him in a dumpster. Kurt becomes a main character on the show and we watch his metamorphosis as he makes friends, comes out to his father, triumphs over bullying, becomes a leader in the Glee club, and falls in love. Chris has not only acclimated to stardom and become a role model for gay youth, and youth in general, he has also branched out in the world of entertainment and become a bestselling author with his "Land of Stories" fantasy series. The first book is being made into a movie, with Chris directing. With all the unfortunate tales of young actors squandering their opportunities, I am so impressed by Chris' seeming boundless energy and drive to succeed in Hollywood.
librarianintx
Growing up, I have been fascinated by three women in particular: Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne Frank, and Helen Keller. They are my historical triumvirate.
I was obsessed with the "Little House on the Prairie" franchise growing up. I still am. I have read all the books in the series, I watched the TV show, the made-for-tv movies, and I'm still reading books that are being published about Laura and her family. I read a biography about her daughter, Rose Wilder Lane, and I read at least one of the children's books based on her life that was written by Rose's "adopted" son. It has been a dream of mine to visit one of the museums, to see Pa's fiddle and Mary's organ and the items from the house on Rocky Ridge Farm. I have mixed emotions about the recent allegations that Rose likely was the principle author of the "Little House" series. Being an aspiring author myself, it would be sad to me if Laura received all the acclaim for books she didn't actually write. But anyway, I love the books, the illustrations, the story of a girl living during such a period of change in our nation's history. She witnessed the treatment of the Native Americans, the prairie turning into cities, the effects of weather on farming, the Industrial Revolution, the invention of cars and planes, etc.
I have also had an interest in Holocaust literature during much of my life, and Anne Frank's diary was the start of that obsession. I have also read books written by other people about her, including what her life was like in the concentration camps. She was an ordinary girl who lived an extraordinary existence for more than two years, and chronicled her and her family's struggle for historical purposes. I am especially fascinated by the fact that she started re-writing her diary when she thought the war was close to an end. Even at her young age, she understood the significance of her time in forced isolation, and how popular and interesting her story could be. I know that Anne died only weeks before the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp was liberated. I firmly believe that if she had known she was close to freedom, and especially if she had knowledge that her father was still alive, she would have survived.
Helen Keller was perhaps the first person to become famous because of a disability. She became blind and deaf as a child, but went on to become a famous writer, speaker, and activist. She traveled the world, met many famous people, became instrumental in the development of the American Foundation for the Blind, and even starred in a movie. Yet as well-known and influential as she was, she was still constrained by the times she lived in. Her mother had archaic views of people with disabilities, and never allowed her daughter to date or marry. Helen also had strong political views, but her beliefs were often suppressed by the people around her, who believed that the public would only be interested in her disability and philanthropic-related activities. Helen was a woman who enjoyed the fun side of life - bawdy jokes and junk food - but the people in her company felt she needed to be more of a role model, a woman of decorum, grace, and charity. So I find her fascinating not only because of the life she lived and her many accomplishments, but also the struggles she faced to be her own person.
These are my three historical figures of interest; now here are some present-day people that fascinate me:
1) Zach Anner
Zach has Cerebral Palsy, the "sexiest of the palsies" in his words. He is a comedian, author, show writer, and YouTube sensation. He was a co-winner of Oprah's reality show, "Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star," which helped break him into the mainstream. Since then he has hosted a travel show on the OWN network, written a book called If At Birth You Don't Succeed, become a writer for the tv show "Speechless," and continued to create You Tube series. Zach is hilarious! He has a brilliant way of taking what he doesn't do well and creating success and humor from adversity, such as his comedic YouTube series "Workout Wednesdays."
2) Lizzie Velasquez
Lizzie became famous when she was horrifically labeled "The Ugliest Woman in the World" on social media in response to her YouTube videos. Lizzie has a very rare genetic disorder, a type of Marfan Syndrome. Instead of letting the insults defeat her, Lizzie has faced hate and ignorance with uncommon courage, strength, kindness, and forgiveness. She has traveled the world as a motivational speaker, written four books, and become a powerful force in the anti-bullying movement. Where she once was ridiculed and ostracized, Lizzie is now celebrated and admired. She is a shining example that you can triumph over hardship and succeed despite enormous obstacles. Choosing Happiness and Dare to be Kind are the titles of two of her books.
3) Chris Colfer
Chris was a young, unknown actor when he was cast in Ryan Murphy's wildly popular television show "Glee." He originally read for the role of an established character, but Ryan was so impressed by him that he created a new character just for Chris...Kurt, a boy with big dreams, a big singing voice, and big hopes that the football team will quit tossing him in a dumpster. Kurt becomes a main character on the show and we watch his metamorphosis as he makes friends, comes out to his father, triumphs over bullying, becomes a leader in the Glee club, and falls in love. Chris has not only acclimated to stardom and become a role model for gay youth, and youth in general, he has also branched out in the world of entertainment and become a bestselling author with his "Land of Stories" fantasy series. The first book is being made into a movie, with Chris directing. With all the unfortunate tales of young actors squandering their opportunities, I am so impressed by Chris' seeming boundless energy and drive to succeed in Hollywood.
librarianintx
Thursday, February 08, 2018
Procrastination
There are three main reasons why I am procrastinating less:
1) I've changed my thinking.
This is such a simple and apparently effective trick. When a thought comes into my head about something I need to do, and my mind lazily says, "Oh, I'll do that later," I immediately say to myself, "No. Stop. Do it now. Do it right now." So I do it. And then it's done. This can be anything from taking my medicine to scheduling my rides for the next day to unloading the dishwasher. It's amazing how much calmer and more focused I am when I'm able to put the kabosh on my procrastination and accomplish what I need to. I feel better about myself. I'm taking care of stuff. Not putting off tasks and running the risk of forgetting to do something important, like making a ride or refilling a prescription.
2) I am changing up my routine.
I used to be such a creature of habit. If I did anything different, I would feel anxious, too different. But at the same time, I would balk at doing certain daily things. I was in a rut. And I think I was setting myself up to fail, so I could beat myself up for not accomplishing everything on my list. Now I like to feel good about myself. It feels wonderful to get to the end of the day and think, "I got stuff done and I didn't put anything off." I mean, there are a finite number of hours in the day, and I'm certainly not saying I always get everything done. But I have much less of a tendency to be mad at myself if it's a factor of running out of time and not because I procrastinated about doing a task. Anyway, one thing I've found that helps is to change my routine, especially in the morning. I tend to be quicker and finish faster if I switch things up a bit, vary the routine. Also, when I get home in the afternoon, I try to start right in on getting ready for the evening and the next day: preparing food, selecting my outfit, etc. If I sit down, turn on the tv, and/or look at my phone, that's it. Procrastination creeps in. Fatigue and a "don't care" attitude can wash over me, and before I know it, it's 9:30 and I haven't done a thing to get ready for the next day. I have so much more time and energy when I don't procrastinate.
3) I'm feeling very motivated this year to accomplish more, and be happier.
"Life is too precious to waste doing anything less than what makes you happy. You get to be happy." This is a quote from a recent "Grey's Anatomy" episode. Even before I heard this, I had said to someone, "It's time for me to be happy." This is a transformative year for me. I've wasted so much time being frustrated, stuck, unhappy, scared. It's time for me to be focused, motivated, happy. I need to calculate my own definition of success, and achieve it.
Design the life you want, and live it.
Do what makes you feel fulfilled.
Create your own lane, and don't look backward or sideways, only forward.
librarianintx
Wednesday, February 07, 2018
"Be on Time Chronicles" 2/7/18
I talk quite a bit about when Metro gets it wrong.
But it's important to mention when they get it right, too.
They got it right on Sunday, February 4th.
Megabus broke down that afternoon. Luckily it happened at my boarding location, Katy Mills Mall. The coolant was busted, or something like that. We had to wait over an hour for the mechanic, and then he had to fix it, but luckily he was able to do that, so we didn't have to wait for a replacement bus. We departed nearly two hours late, and I figured with having to delay my Metro ride, I would likely be home three or four hours later than usual. I typically get picked up from the Megabus station between 5 - 5:30, and arrive home thirty minutes to an hour after that.
So we left Katy shortly before 4 pm, and arrived at the station before 6:30. When I called Metro to delay my open return, the dispatcher said, "If you can, call me when you're on the outskirts of town, and I'll start a vehicle heading your way."
So I called when the bus was about ten - fifteen minutes from the station. I had only been inside for less than five minutes when the van pulled up. And the driver said she was taking me right home! Amazing! I was home by 7, not that much later than on a typical Sunday night.
Sometimes it can take as long as an hour for the van to arrive on a reactivated open return. And then the driver could have been in the middle of a busy pick off / drop off schedule. But the odds were in my favor on Super Bowl Sunday. I got home in time to halfway unpack, have dinner, watch JT strut his stuff on the halftime show, and bawl my way through "This is Us."
It could have been a long and frustrating evening. But it wasn't.
Thank you, Metro Access.
librarianintx
But it's important to mention when they get it right, too.
They got it right on Sunday, February 4th.
Megabus broke down that afternoon. Luckily it happened at my boarding location, Katy Mills Mall. The coolant was busted, or something like that. We had to wait over an hour for the mechanic, and then he had to fix it, but luckily he was able to do that, so we didn't have to wait for a replacement bus. We departed nearly two hours late, and I figured with having to delay my Metro ride, I would likely be home three or four hours later than usual. I typically get picked up from the Megabus station between 5 - 5:30, and arrive home thirty minutes to an hour after that.
So we left Katy shortly before 4 pm, and arrived at the station before 6:30. When I called Metro to delay my open return, the dispatcher said, "If you can, call me when you're on the outskirts of town, and I'll start a vehicle heading your way."
So I called when the bus was about ten - fifteen minutes from the station. I had only been inside for less than five minutes when the van pulled up. And the driver said she was taking me right home! Amazing! I was home by 7, not that much later than on a typical Sunday night.
Sometimes it can take as long as an hour for the van to arrive on a reactivated open return. And then the driver could have been in the middle of a busy pick off / drop off schedule. But the odds were in my favor on Super Bowl Sunday. I got home in time to halfway unpack, have dinner, watch JT strut his stuff on the halftime show, and bawl my way through "This is Us."
It could have been a long and frustrating evening. But it wasn't.
Thank you, Metro Access.
librarianintx
Tuesday, February 06, 2018
"Be on Time" Chronicles 2/6/18
I WAS on time.
At the appointed time of 7:41, I was seated at the dining room table in my apartment, the blinds of the large window open so I can clearly see the street. If the vehicle pulls up to the step near the staircase, I can see them. If the vehicle pulls up to the walkway next to the disabled parking sign, I can see them. I have an unobstructed view from inside my apartment. Metro wants me standing on the curb, in any manner of weather - hot, cold, windy, rainy, etc. But there's no need for me to stand in the elements (emphasis on STAND and ELEMENTS), sometimes for as long as thirty minutes, when I can sit inside and wait. I have five minutes to board when they arrive. It does not take me five minutes to gather what I'm taking with me, close the blinds, turn off the lights, and lock the door.
Okay, full disclosure. I was in my seat at 7:43. I checked the street slightly before 7:40, then I went to the restroom one more time. But even at 7:43, I was still within my five minute window. There was no vehicle waiting outside.
The minutes ticked by. This situation occurred last Thursday, so I don't remember exactly what I did during those thirty minutes. I'm sure I was looking at my phone - scrolling through Facebook, checking my e-mail, maybe even buying something on Amazon. But I know I looked outside frequently. There is absolutely no way that I let five minutes pass without looking up from my phone and viewing the street.
The clock said 8:11. My ride window had officially closed. Time to call and find out the scoop. I figured they would tell me the driver was running late. Scheduling problems. Traffic. Maybe a problem with a vehicle. Or it was a new driver learning the ropes - someone who had never been to my apartment and was searching for my building.
Nope.
I heard the dreaded words.
I had been no-showed.
The driver had arrived, waited the standard five minutes (allegedly), then left without attempting to locate me.
The dispatcher gave it to me straight. It was a weekday morning. Schedules are always tight. They had no other vehicle available to pick me up. I was on my own to find transportation to my doctor appointment.
I was due there in an hour.
When a driver no-shows a passenger, they must provide the dispatcher with three visual cues in the area, as a way to show that they are in the right place. The dispatcher told me the three items that the driver communicated to him: staircase, orange building, carports. The last word should have immediately caused me to say, "The driver was in the wrong place!" Because my building is not next to carports. It is next to a set of garages. But in my frustration and anxiety over my looming appointment, I didn't listen close enough to what the dispatcher was telling me. I didn't have time. I had to find a way to the doctor.
Thank goodness I now have a more reliable and quicker back-up plan than a cab. I picked up my phone, opened one of my TNC (transportation network company aka ride share) apps, typed in my destination address, and hit the "confirm ride" button. In less than five minutes, I was in a vehicle, and less than thirty minutes after that, I was at my doctor's office. My driver was pleasant, helpful (opened the car door for me), and drove safely and patiently. I feel very fortunate that as a non-visually impaired disabled person who rarely needs a mobility device, I have no trouble using a ride-share. I can access the app and I don't need a specialized vehicle. The ride share was cheaper than a cab, arrived quicker, and the driver was nicer than many (but not all) cab drivers.
The downside, of course, was that the ride cost money. If Metro had not failed me, I would have been able to use my monthly pass to travel. I also wouldn't have had to scramble to find transportation.
There are three places ways to enter and exit my apartment building. Two are on one side of the street; the other is around the corner. I can't be in three places at once. If I was waiting on the curb, I could see one of the other entrances, but not both. So even if I was waiting outside, there is still a possibility I could get no-showed.
In the end, I got where I needed to go, and I wasn't late. Which is great. But I still think the "curb to curb" level of para-transit service that I receive results in extra stress for me and often confusion and frustration for the drivers. Wouldn't it be easier for the driver to get out of the vehicle and check the apartment numbers, rather than having to sit and wait for five minutes and then go through the no-show process?
I can call and argue against a no-show, and I plan to do that today. I will not be compensated for the cost of the ride share. But the service keeps track of no-shows, and if you accrue a certain number (a percentage based on how often you ride), you can be suspended from the service for a few days. Habitual no-shows can result in permanent suspension. Always, the burden of proof is on the passenger. It will be my word against the driver's. And if I tell them I was not waiting at the curb, that will likely be enough ammunition to make the no-show stand.
librarianintx
At the appointed time of 7:41, I was seated at the dining room table in my apartment, the blinds of the large window open so I can clearly see the street. If the vehicle pulls up to the step near the staircase, I can see them. If the vehicle pulls up to the walkway next to the disabled parking sign, I can see them. I have an unobstructed view from inside my apartment. Metro wants me standing on the curb, in any manner of weather - hot, cold, windy, rainy, etc. But there's no need for me to stand in the elements (emphasis on STAND and ELEMENTS), sometimes for as long as thirty minutes, when I can sit inside and wait. I have five minutes to board when they arrive. It does not take me five minutes to gather what I'm taking with me, close the blinds, turn off the lights, and lock the door.
Okay, full disclosure. I was in my seat at 7:43. I checked the street slightly before 7:40, then I went to the restroom one more time. But even at 7:43, I was still within my five minute window. There was no vehicle waiting outside.
The minutes ticked by. This situation occurred last Thursday, so I don't remember exactly what I did during those thirty minutes. I'm sure I was looking at my phone - scrolling through Facebook, checking my e-mail, maybe even buying something on Amazon. But I know I looked outside frequently. There is absolutely no way that I let five minutes pass without looking up from my phone and viewing the street.
The clock said 8:11. My ride window had officially closed. Time to call and find out the scoop. I figured they would tell me the driver was running late. Scheduling problems. Traffic. Maybe a problem with a vehicle. Or it was a new driver learning the ropes - someone who had never been to my apartment and was searching for my building.
Nope.
I heard the dreaded words.
I had been no-showed.
The driver had arrived, waited the standard five minutes (allegedly), then left without attempting to locate me.
The dispatcher gave it to me straight. It was a weekday morning. Schedules are always tight. They had no other vehicle available to pick me up. I was on my own to find transportation to my doctor appointment.
I was due there in an hour.
When a driver no-shows a passenger, they must provide the dispatcher with three visual cues in the area, as a way to show that they are in the right place. The dispatcher told me the three items that the driver communicated to him: staircase, orange building, carports. The last word should have immediately caused me to say, "The driver was in the wrong place!" Because my building is not next to carports. It is next to a set of garages. But in my frustration and anxiety over my looming appointment, I didn't listen close enough to what the dispatcher was telling me. I didn't have time. I had to find a way to the doctor.
Thank goodness I now have a more reliable and quicker back-up plan than a cab. I picked up my phone, opened one of my TNC (transportation network company aka ride share) apps, typed in my destination address, and hit the "confirm ride" button. In less than five minutes, I was in a vehicle, and less than thirty minutes after that, I was at my doctor's office. My driver was pleasant, helpful (opened the car door for me), and drove safely and patiently. I feel very fortunate that as a non-visually impaired disabled person who rarely needs a mobility device, I have no trouble using a ride-share. I can access the app and I don't need a specialized vehicle. The ride share was cheaper than a cab, arrived quicker, and the driver was nicer than many (but not all) cab drivers.
The downside, of course, was that the ride cost money. If Metro had not failed me, I would have been able to use my monthly pass to travel. I also wouldn't have had to scramble to find transportation.
There are three places ways to enter and exit my apartment building. Two are on one side of the street; the other is around the corner. I can't be in three places at once. If I was waiting on the curb, I could see one of the other entrances, but not both. So even if I was waiting outside, there is still a possibility I could get no-showed.
In the end, I got where I needed to go, and I wasn't late. Which is great. But I still think the "curb to curb" level of para-transit service that I receive results in extra stress for me and often confusion and frustration for the drivers. Wouldn't it be easier for the driver to get out of the vehicle and check the apartment numbers, rather than having to sit and wait for five minutes and then go through the no-show process?
I can call and argue against a no-show, and I plan to do that today. I will not be compensated for the cost of the ride share. But the service keeps track of no-shows, and if you accrue a certain number (a percentage based on how often you ride), you can be suspended from the service for a few days. Habitual no-shows can result in permanent suspension. Always, the burden of proof is on the passenger. It will be my word against the driver's. And if I tell them I was not waiting at the curb, that will likely be enough ammunition to make the no-show stand.
librarianintx
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Quote from "Be Good to Yourself" 2018 calendar
"Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can choose to grow flowers or you can grow weeds."
Anonymous
I love everything about this quote. First of all, I love the lyrical quality, the flow of the words. And even more, I love the sentiment. It is so true. Your thoughts have a huge effect on your emotions and a big influence on how you live your life. You have a choice in how you exist in this world: bitter, angry, and resentful, or hopeful, mindful, and resilient. What happens to you in life isn't always your decision or in your plan, but how you allow each situation to affect you IS YOUR CHOICE. Bottom line.
This morning was cold. I'm already tired. I struggled to get ready, be on time, get my coat on, pull myself into the van, etc. But I'm not focusing on that. I mention it, but simply by way of explanation. Because I'm happy to be well enough to be out of bed. I'm honored to have a job that fulfills me. I'm grateful to be in a warm, clean environment, at work and at home. I'm comforted to know I have enough money, strength, and health to take care of myself and make my own way. I have the resilience to understand that I will not only make it through this day, but also make the most of this day, and achieve at least some level of success and productivity. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. My mind always tries to take me there, to worry about the future, obsess over the "what if's." But I try to gently redirect it. Not with frustration and scorn and ridicule, but with hope, mindfulness, and at least a little faith and belief in myself.
I will make it a GOOD day.
I hope you do as well.
librarianintx
Anonymous
I love everything about this quote. First of all, I love the lyrical quality, the flow of the words. And even more, I love the sentiment. It is so true. Your thoughts have a huge effect on your emotions and a big influence on how you live your life. You have a choice in how you exist in this world: bitter, angry, and resentful, or hopeful, mindful, and resilient. What happens to you in life isn't always your decision or in your plan, but how you allow each situation to affect you IS YOUR CHOICE. Bottom line.
This morning was cold. I'm already tired. I struggled to get ready, be on time, get my coat on, pull myself into the van, etc. But I'm not focusing on that. I mention it, but simply by way of explanation. Because I'm happy to be well enough to be out of bed. I'm honored to have a job that fulfills me. I'm grateful to be in a warm, clean environment, at work and at home. I'm comforted to know I have enough money, strength, and health to take care of myself and make my own way. I have the resilience to understand that I will not only make it through this day, but also make the most of this day, and achieve at least some level of success and productivity. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. My mind always tries to take me there, to worry about the future, obsess over the "what if's." But I try to gently redirect it. Not with frustration and scorn and ridicule, but with hope, mindfulness, and at least a little faith and belief in myself.
I will make it a GOOD day.
I hope you do as well.
librarianintx
Monday, January 01, 2018
Accomplishments from 2017
I didn't travel the world, or have a book published, or anything big like that. I didn't make a lot of money or win the lottery. But I'm happy with what I was able to accomplish this year. Here are a few of what I consider to be the highlights of 2017:
I made my goal of at least 100 transactions every month at work, and two months of the year were very successful, where I exceeded 300 transactions twice! I also attended the first of five transportation conferences, assisted with public awareness events, participated in two webinars, and helped celebrate Read Across America week by visiting a local elementary school with a co-worker who read a Dr Seuss book in Braille to two classes.
I met two authors in 2017: Ellen Hopkins and Lizzie Velasquez. I also attended the Texas Book Festival, although all the walking prevented me from doing as much as I would have liked to do there.
I attended two concerts: Phillip Phillips and Lady Gaga. The first one is significant because it is the first time I went to a concert by myself. The second one is important because it's GAGA! :)
I also saw "Dancing with the Stars" and Kathy Griffin.
When it comes to independence, big and small, I peeled a cucumber and cut an avocado by myself. I also took a ride share a few times. I'm still learning to feel comfortable getting into strangers' vehicles.
I went to Fiesta Texas, the San Antonio Museum of Art, and finally had the opportunity to take a ride through the Texas Hill Country and take pictures in the wildflowers.
In 2017 I learned to like falafel, black olives, and cashews.
In social endeavors, I attended the Austin Blogathon conference, and a political postcard-writing happy hour.
In February of 2017 I started a Valentine card project at work. Me and my co-workers created 60+ Valentine cards that were delivered to kids at a local hospital.
Here's to more accomplishments in 2018!
librarianintx
I made my goal of at least 100 transactions every month at work, and two months of the year were very successful, where I exceeded 300 transactions twice! I also attended the first of five transportation conferences, assisted with public awareness events, participated in two webinars, and helped celebrate Read Across America week by visiting a local elementary school with a co-worker who read a Dr Seuss book in Braille to two classes.
I met two authors in 2017: Ellen Hopkins and Lizzie Velasquez. I also attended the Texas Book Festival, although all the walking prevented me from doing as much as I would have liked to do there.
I attended two concerts: Phillip Phillips and Lady Gaga. The first one is significant because it is the first time I went to a concert by myself. The second one is important because it's GAGA! :)
I also saw "Dancing with the Stars" and Kathy Griffin.
When it comes to independence, big and small, I peeled a cucumber and cut an avocado by myself. I also took a ride share a few times. I'm still learning to feel comfortable getting into strangers' vehicles.
I went to Fiesta Texas, the San Antonio Museum of Art, and finally had the opportunity to take a ride through the Texas Hill Country and take pictures in the wildflowers.
In 2017 I learned to like falafel, black olives, and cashews.
In social endeavors, I attended the Austin Blogathon conference, and a political postcard-writing happy hour.
In February of 2017 I started a Valentine card project at work. Me and my co-workers created 60+ Valentine cards that were delivered to kids at a local hospital.
Here's to more accomplishments in 2018!
librarianintx
New Year's Resolutions from 2017
I looked back at my blog, and I didn't see any specific resolutions. But I know I had at least two. I set two goals: reading at least 24 books during the year (the equivalent of two per month), and writing at least 100 blog posts. I exceeded both of those goals. I read 28 books and I posted 117 blog entries! Yay! Meeting goals is satisfying and rewarding. But I want to do even more.
Here is a list of the books I read in 2017:
Glass
Fallout
The Danish Girl
Saving Alex
The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving: A Novel
Burned
Letters to Oma
Fast Girl: A Life Spent Running from Mental Illness
Libertarians on the Prairie
Not Fade Away
Bette and Joan: Feud
Tampa
Dear Nobody: The True Story of Mary Rose
Smoke
Double Exposure
I Love You More
Friendswood (on audio)
The Weight of Zero
Hidden Girl: The True Story of a Modern-Day Child Slave
The Nine of Us
The Road to Character (on audio)
News of the World (on audio)
Strange Fruit
Hand Me Down: A Novel
Getting Life
Weekends at Bellvue (on audio)
My Name is Lucy Barton: A Novel (on audio)
Dwarf: A Memoir
I liked most of what I read last year. I am still captivated by Ellen Hopkins, and plan to read more of her books in 2018. Glass and Fallout are from her Crank trilogy, and then I read Burned, and the sequel Smoke.
My favorite non-Ellen Hopkins book in 2017 was Hand Me Down: A Novel. I enjoyed Tampa very much, but warning, it is super smutty, and I feel dirty for liking it. :) Fast Girl was also very good. And I better stop there. Because I'm going to start listing every book again as one I liked.
I'm still learning how to listen and comprehend an audio book. I don't read as well by ear as I do by eye. But I'm trying to learn so I can read more on my long commutes and while I'm waiting at the grocery store, doctor appointments, etc. Weekends at Bellvue was my most successful audio book endeavor this past year.
librarianintx
Here is a list of the books I read in 2017:
Glass
Fallout
The Danish Girl
Saving Alex
The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving: A Novel
Burned
Letters to Oma
Fast Girl: A Life Spent Running from Mental Illness
Libertarians on the Prairie
Not Fade Away
Bette and Joan: Feud
Tampa
Dear Nobody: The True Story of Mary Rose
Smoke
Double Exposure
I Love You More
Friendswood (on audio)
The Weight of Zero
Hidden Girl: The True Story of a Modern-Day Child Slave
The Nine of Us
The Road to Character (on audio)
News of the World (on audio)
Strange Fruit
Hand Me Down: A Novel
Getting Life
Weekends at Bellvue (on audio)
My Name is Lucy Barton: A Novel (on audio)
Dwarf: A Memoir
I liked most of what I read last year. I am still captivated by Ellen Hopkins, and plan to read more of her books in 2018. Glass and Fallout are from her Crank trilogy, and then I read Burned, and the sequel Smoke.
My favorite non-Ellen Hopkins book in 2017 was Hand Me Down: A Novel. I enjoyed Tampa very much, but warning, it is super smutty, and I feel dirty for liking it. :) Fast Girl was also very good. And I better stop there. Because I'm going to start listing every book again as one I liked.
I'm still learning how to listen and comprehend an audio book. I don't read as well by ear as I do by eye. But I'm trying to learn so I can read more on my long commutes and while I'm waiting at the grocery store, doctor appointments, etc. Weekends at Bellvue was my most successful audio book endeavor this past year.
librarianintx
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
"Be On Time Chronicles" 12/20/17
I talk and write so much about the difficulties with para-transit service, but I also need to mention when the service works well. For two Saturdays in December I volunteered to work the will call desk for Chorus Austin - first for their "On A Winter's Eve," holiday concert, and then for the "Sing it Yourself Messiah." In both cases I needed a manicure before I handed tickets to concert goers. Nail polish does not stay on my fingernails long, because I often use the nails and tips of my fingers to open things.
On both Saturdays I went to Walmart before heading to the church. A few nail salons operate near my apartment, but I chose the one inside Walmart because I knew I could get food and use a restroom there if I needed to. In both cases, my rides worked out very well. On the first Saturday, I was finished with the manicure early enough to jog across the parking lot to Panera and have a hearty bowl of turkey chili before my ride arrived. The second Saturday was colder and a little wet, so I stayed inside Walmart and bought the holiday cards I needed. I had food with me, so I didn't buy any, but I eyed a turkey wrap that looked tasty.
On both weekends, I didn't have to wait long for my connecting ride to the church, and I was transported directly to my destination. I was thirty minutes early in each instance, but that was okay. The church was open, singers were arriving for their call time, and other volunteers were setting up for the concerts. On both Saturdays I received compliments on my manicure and coordinating sweater. I was festive and giddy with the spirit of the holiday season, and a feeling of satisfaction that my schedule had been successful not just once, but twice!
It feels so wonderful when transportation works well for me. That doesn't happen very often, unfortunately. It is especially helpful that there are other places I could have walked to near Walmart if I had time. There are various eateries besides Panera in that shopping complex, including a Middle Eastern and a New Orleans-style restaurant. There's also another nail salon, a hair salon, and a frozen yogurt establishment. Maybe one day I'll take a day and get my hair cut, my nails polished, have a nice meal, and do a little shopping, all in one para-transit excursion. Getting the timing right would take some planning, but I'm up for the challenge!
librarianintx
On both Saturdays I went to Walmart before heading to the church. A few nail salons operate near my apartment, but I chose the one inside Walmart because I knew I could get food and use a restroom there if I needed to. In both cases, my rides worked out very well. On the first Saturday, I was finished with the manicure early enough to jog across the parking lot to Panera and have a hearty bowl of turkey chili before my ride arrived. The second Saturday was colder and a little wet, so I stayed inside Walmart and bought the holiday cards I needed. I had food with me, so I didn't buy any, but I eyed a turkey wrap that looked tasty.
On both weekends, I didn't have to wait long for my connecting ride to the church, and I was transported directly to my destination. I was thirty minutes early in each instance, but that was okay. The church was open, singers were arriving for their call time, and other volunteers were setting up for the concerts. On both Saturdays I received compliments on my manicure and coordinating sweater. I was festive and giddy with the spirit of the holiday season, and a feeling of satisfaction that my schedule had been successful not just once, but twice!
It feels so wonderful when transportation works well for me. That doesn't happen very often, unfortunately. It is especially helpful that there are other places I could have walked to near Walmart if I had time. There are various eateries besides Panera in that shopping complex, including a Middle Eastern and a New Orleans-style restaurant. There's also another nail salon, a hair salon, and a frozen yogurt establishment. Maybe one day I'll take a day and get my hair cut, my nails polished, have a nice meal, and do a little shopping, all in one para-transit excursion. Getting the timing right would take some planning, but I'm up for the challenge!
librarianintx
Monday, December 18, 2017
What to do when you feel like shit (article)
Fifteen Easy Things You Can Do to Help When You Feel Like Shit
http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/15-easy-things-you-can-do-to-help-when-you-feel-like-shit/
1) Get a drink of water
2) Make your bed
3) Take a shower
4) Have a snack - not junk food!
5) Take a walk
6) Change your clothes
7) Change your environment
8) Talk to someone - not on the Internet - it can be about anything
9) Dance to an upbeat guilty pleasure song
10) Get some exercise
11) Accomplish something - even if it's something tiny
12) Hug an animal
13) Make a "done" list instead of a "to-do list"
14) Watch a YouTube video that always makes you laugh
15) Give yourself permission to feel shitty
End of list
My comments:
I've only posted the main ideas here - read the article for more information. I am a big proponent of all of these - I have done them all at some point, and they all help. When you feel bad, for whatever reason - short-term illness, chronic illness, depression, anxiety - having the motivation to implement any of these activities can be a daunting task. But hopefully it will help to know that all of these possess the power to make you feel better, at least for awhile.
Here are a few other ideas that have worked for me:
1) Do something for someone
If you can get out of the house, volunteer somewhere, offer to babysit, house sit, dog sit, etc. If you can't get out of the house, or aren't able to volunteer on a regular basis, then consider being a pen pal, a mentor, someone who checks in on someone else, etc. Use pen and paper, telephone, or the Internet to communicate and focus on someone else, instead of ruminating on yourself and your problems.
2) Practice mindfulness
The basic principle of mindfulness is to live in the moment, not thinking about the future or the past. Live just for today. Sometimes when I'm having a particularly bad day, I don't think about the entire day, because it seems too overwhelming. So I say to myself, "Just get through the next hour (half hour, minute, etc)" I remind myself that I have felt this bad before, and it always gets better. In fact, that should be it's own bullet point:
3) Remind yourself that IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER. How you are feeling at one particular moment of the day does not mean that you will always feel that way. Feelings are transient. Moods are transient. Physical and emotional pain are transient. They come and go, ebb and flow, rise and fall.
4) Don't forget to breathe. Pain and anxiety can cause you to hold your breath or breathe shallowly, which can exacerbate the symptoms you already have. You don't have to necessarily take a lot of deep breaths or learn any kind of technique, although being aware of your breath through meditation or yoga can definitely be helpful. Also look into relaxation exercises. When I'm tired, anxious, and/or stressed, I often hunch my shoulders and clench my legs, which can contribute to my pain, fatigue, and anxiety.
5) Don't compare yourself or your life to anyone else's.
I am a big fan of social media, but it can definitely have it's drawbacks. If you are feeling bad about your life, it might be time for a break from Facebook, or at least a mini vacation. Instead of spending hours there, just check in a few times a day, and if reading posts makes you feel frustrated and sad about your life, close the application, and do something else. Understand this: Facebook can make everyone's life appear better / happier / more successful than yours. That is a fallacy. Sure, some people do have great lives. But everyone has problems. EVERYONE.
6) Find something to focus on.
I understand how hard that can be when you are in physical or emotional pain, or suffering from fatigue. But having a hobby or interest can take your mind away from how you're feeling. Anything is better than ruminating. Play a game, binge watch a show, read a book, get lost in YouTube, journal, cook or bake something, etc. Many times I have been anxious, tired, worried, etc, and when I've been able to focus on something, I'll suddenly realize that time has passed and I'm feeling a lot better.
7) Organize
This is a big one for me. I feel much better when I'm organized and my surroundings are less cluttered. If I'm feeling bad or anxious, cleaning or organizing something can really help. I'm also a list maker. Getting thoughts out of my head and down on paper or in an app helps me tremendously, especially when I'm very busy, preparing to travel, etc.
8) Practice gratefulness
Every negative aspect of your life can be turned into a reason for gratitude. Negativity is a choice, and so is positivity. The person who has to work three jobs to make ends meet has two choices. He can grumble and say, "Its not fair that I have to work so hard and other people hardly work at all and have plenty of money." Or he can say, "I'm thankful that I'm strong enough to work so hard, and that I have a roof over my head and food to eat." The harried mother can say, "All I do is cook and clean and no one appreciates me" or she can think to herself, "I'm happy to be able to take care of my family and make sure they are fed and have clean clothes." It's true, life isn't fair. Some people do have it easier than others. Comparing your life to others will never make you happy. Finding contentment with your existence, while always striving to improve your situation, will be the key to your success.
librarianintx
http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/15-easy-things-you-can-do-to-help-when-you-feel-like-shit/
1) Get a drink of water
2) Make your bed
3) Take a shower
4) Have a snack - not junk food!
5) Take a walk
6) Change your clothes
7) Change your environment
8) Talk to someone - not on the Internet - it can be about anything
9) Dance to an upbeat guilty pleasure song
10) Get some exercise
11) Accomplish something - even if it's something tiny
12) Hug an animal
13) Make a "done" list instead of a "to-do list"
14) Watch a YouTube video that always makes you laugh
15) Give yourself permission to feel shitty
End of list
My comments:
I've only posted the main ideas here - read the article for more information. I am a big proponent of all of these - I have done them all at some point, and they all help. When you feel bad, for whatever reason - short-term illness, chronic illness, depression, anxiety - having the motivation to implement any of these activities can be a daunting task. But hopefully it will help to know that all of these possess the power to make you feel better, at least for awhile.
Here are a few other ideas that have worked for me:
1) Do something for someone
If you can get out of the house, volunteer somewhere, offer to babysit, house sit, dog sit, etc. If you can't get out of the house, or aren't able to volunteer on a regular basis, then consider being a pen pal, a mentor, someone who checks in on someone else, etc. Use pen and paper, telephone, or the Internet to communicate and focus on someone else, instead of ruminating on yourself and your problems.
2) Practice mindfulness
The basic principle of mindfulness is to live in the moment, not thinking about the future or the past. Live just for today. Sometimes when I'm having a particularly bad day, I don't think about the entire day, because it seems too overwhelming. So I say to myself, "Just get through the next hour (half hour, minute, etc)" I remind myself that I have felt this bad before, and it always gets better. In fact, that should be it's own bullet point:
3) Remind yourself that IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER. How you are feeling at one particular moment of the day does not mean that you will always feel that way. Feelings are transient. Moods are transient. Physical and emotional pain are transient. They come and go, ebb and flow, rise and fall.
4) Don't forget to breathe. Pain and anxiety can cause you to hold your breath or breathe shallowly, which can exacerbate the symptoms you already have. You don't have to necessarily take a lot of deep breaths or learn any kind of technique, although being aware of your breath through meditation or yoga can definitely be helpful. Also look into relaxation exercises. When I'm tired, anxious, and/or stressed, I often hunch my shoulders and clench my legs, which can contribute to my pain, fatigue, and anxiety.
5) Don't compare yourself or your life to anyone else's.
I am a big fan of social media, but it can definitely have it's drawbacks. If you are feeling bad about your life, it might be time for a break from Facebook, or at least a mini vacation. Instead of spending hours there, just check in a few times a day, and if reading posts makes you feel frustrated and sad about your life, close the application, and do something else. Understand this: Facebook can make everyone's life appear better / happier / more successful than yours. That is a fallacy. Sure, some people do have great lives. But everyone has problems. EVERYONE.
6) Find something to focus on.
I understand how hard that can be when you are in physical or emotional pain, or suffering from fatigue. But having a hobby or interest can take your mind away from how you're feeling. Anything is better than ruminating. Play a game, binge watch a show, read a book, get lost in YouTube, journal, cook or bake something, etc. Many times I have been anxious, tired, worried, etc, and when I've been able to focus on something, I'll suddenly realize that time has passed and I'm feeling a lot better.
7) Organize
This is a big one for me. I feel much better when I'm organized and my surroundings are less cluttered. If I'm feeling bad or anxious, cleaning or organizing something can really help. I'm also a list maker. Getting thoughts out of my head and down on paper or in an app helps me tremendously, especially when I'm very busy, preparing to travel, etc.
8) Practice gratefulness
Every negative aspect of your life can be turned into a reason for gratitude. Negativity is a choice, and so is positivity. The person who has to work three jobs to make ends meet has two choices. He can grumble and say, "Its not fair that I have to work so hard and other people hardly work at all and have plenty of money." Or he can say, "I'm thankful that I'm strong enough to work so hard, and that I have a roof over my head and food to eat." The harried mother can say, "All I do is cook and clean and no one appreciates me" or she can think to herself, "I'm happy to be able to take care of my family and make sure they are fed and have clean clothes." It's true, life isn't fair. Some people do have it easier than others. Comparing your life to others will never make you happy. Finding contentment with your existence, while always striving to improve your situation, will be the key to your success.
librarianintx
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Hashimoto's Disease
I have this, but my levels aren't to the point where I need medication yet, according to my doctor. I have many of these symptoms, but I also have other conditions, such as an inner ear disorder, that can cause some of these symptoms. Anyway, this article describes me well, unfortunately. Not completely, but I definitely can relate. Like the author, I keep going as best I can. Every day.
I'll be seeing my doctor in January. Maybe it's time for medication, and maybe it will make a difference in my life.
librarianintx
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/vicious-cycle-hashimoto-thyroiditis-070749538.html
The Vicious Cycle of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is my immune system attacking my thyroid gland, thinking it is an invader. This has lead to hypothyroidism which means those attacks on my thyroid have now caused damage. This results in my thyroid’s failure to function properly and produce thyroid hormone. Everything in my body is negatively impacted like metabolism, energy, bowel movements, emotions, skin, hair, nails, memory, concentration, muscles, joints, menstruation, and the list goes on.
Compare it to a bicycle. The person going uphill with fully pumped tires will have much better success than the other person who has flat tires, or even worse, no tires. Individuals diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis or hypothyroidism have an internal “bicycle” which is the latter; a bicycle with deflating tires, losing more and more air the further it goes.
Now that I’ve experienced the “highs” from being on prescribed medication for two months, to the “lows” of no medication, which is the way I have been feeling for two years now – I realized I had actually felt close to normal. Everything I had been feeling wasn’t just in my head.
I thought I was just an exhausted adult, and referred to my bouts of depression, anxiety and exhaustion as my “bad brain days.” Putting on the show is the most draining part. Having to smile, converse, be alert and be social is so tiring when I actually feel so fake because I just want to be at home in bed sleeping, or rather, trying to sleep.
August 2017 was when my family doctor diagnosed me with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. After thoroughly researching the thyroid system and how it works, I finally had an explanation as to why I felt so messed up inside. I know most probably haven’t taken a moment to read into it, or open the various links I’ve sent trying to help them understand. And I totally get that. But that’s why I felt this was fitting, so people can finally somewhat get this.
As I’ve said, Hashi’s affects me from head to toe.
The emotional aspect is the hardest. I go from numb, to irritated, to angry, to sad, to annoyed, to guilty, to embarrassed, and then back to numb, all day every day. Then there’s the forgetfulness, mumbling and lack of concentration. People often look at me with questioning looks. On days when I can’t tolerate myself, how am I expected to tolerate society?
Then there’s the physical effects which can be just as traumatizing. The dry skin around my face constantly making me look sick and unhealthy. Dry and brittle hair. Fragile dry nails. A body temperature of the arctic. Not being able to fall asleep, and not being able to stay asleep once I finally do. Completing four or five tasks which exhaust me within two hours, encouraging napping by early afternoon. Nausea creeping up at the most uncomfortable timing, while bowels aren’t cooperating either. And not to mention the menstrual issues. The list goes on.
When I decline an outing, it’s not because I don’t want to go, it’s because I’m not mentally and physically prepared to leave the emotional safety that my home provides me. I wish I could do the “normal people things” as easily as others, but most days I just can’t.
It’s a vicious cycle in every way; my mental health is affected by my physical health and vice versa. Hashi’s creates such a feeling of isolation and I don’t think anyone really gets it, myself included.
Everyday is a battle between my head, heart, and well, my immune system. I do want to help myself and heal myself, but this is so huge and new to me. I don’t even know where to begin.
Think about your last cold, and how icky you felt all week. Think about your anxiety sitting on a roller coaster waiting for it to start. Think about how you felt trying to fit in first week of high school. Think about your last morning after a horrible sleep. Think about the guilt you felt last time you let someone down. These are the things I feel every day, and they just spring up on me with no just cause. Sure there are times when smiles and laughs distract me from the negatives, but that general feeling of just not being well is always lingering. Think about those two cyclists from the beginning of this, and how different they are going to feel, both mentally and physically, after their own journeys up that hill.
All I want from friends and family is their
patience, empathy, understanding and unconditional love. I just need you
to listen, give me space when needed, but be close when things get
rough. Don’t take things I say or do personally. Try to understand how
I’m feeling. Know that what I say isn’t being “over dramatic,”
‘”paranoid” or “lazy.” What may not seem real for you is complete
reality to me. Hashimoto’s is real, and does make a difference to
quality of life. All I ask, is you try to understand it with me.
End of article
I'll be seeing my doctor in January. Maybe it's time for medication, and maybe it will make a difference in my life.
librarianintx
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/vicious-cycle-hashimoto-thyroiditis-070749538.html
The Vicious Cycle of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis
Most people who are close to me
now know of my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis diagnosis. People ask me how it’s
treated, to which I respond, “A pill a day for the rest of my life” –
and that’s that.
Your thyroid is a gland in your neck responsible for
major bodily function from head to toe. That means this disease has been
affecting me from head to toe.Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is my immune system attacking my thyroid gland, thinking it is an invader. This has lead to hypothyroidism which means those attacks on my thyroid have now caused damage. This results in my thyroid’s failure to function properly and produce thyroid hormone. Everything in my body is negatively impacted like metabolism, energy, bowel movements, emotions, skin, hair, nails, memory, concentration, muscles, joints, menstruation, and the list goes on.
Compare it to a bicycle. The person going uphill with fully pumped tires will have much better success than the other person who has flat tires, or even worse, no tires. Individuals diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis or hypothyroidism have an internal “bicycle” which is the latter; a bicycle with deflating tires, losing more and more air the further it goes.
Now that I’ve experienced the “highs” from being on prescribed medication for two months, to the “lows” of no medication, which is the way I have been feeling for two years now – I realized I had actually felt close to normal. Everything I had been feeling wasn’t just in my head.
I thought I was just an exhausted adult, and referred to my bouts of depression, anxiety and exhaustion as my “bad brain days.” Putting on the show is the most draining part. Having to smile, converse, be alert and be social is so tiring when I actually feel so fake because I just want to be at home in bed sleeping, or rather, trying to sleep.
August 2017 was when my family doctor diagnosed me with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. After thoroughly researching the thyroid system and how it works, I finally had an explanation as to why I felt so messed up inside. I know most probably haven’t taken a moment to read into it, or open the various links I’ve sent trying to help them understand. And I totally get that. But that’s why I felt this was fitting, so people can finally somewhat get this.
As I’ve said, Hashi’s affects me from head to toe.
The emotional aspect is the hardest. I go from numb, to irritated, to angry, to sad, to annoyed, to guilty, to embarrassed, and then back to numb, all day every day. Then there’s the forgetfulness, mumbling and lack of concentration. People often look at me with questioning looks. On days when I can’t tolerate myself, how am I expected to tolerate society?
Then there’s the physical effects which can be just as traumatizing. The dry skin around my face constantly making me look sick and unhealthy. Dry and brittle hair. Fragile dry nails. A body temperature of the arctic. Not being able to fall asleep, and not being able to stay asleep once I finally do. Completing four or five tasks which exhaust me within two hours, encouraging napping by early afternoon. Nausea creeping up at the most uncomfortable timing, while bowels aren’t cooperating either. And not to mention the menstrual issues. The list goes on.
When I decline an outing, it’s not because I don’t want to go, it’s because I’m not mentally and physically prepared to leave the emotional safety that my home provides me. I wish I could do the “normal people things” as easily as others, but most days I just can’t.
It’s a vicious cycle in every way; my mental health is affected by my physical health and vice versa. Hashi’s creates such a feeling of isolation and I don’t think anyone really gets it, myself included.
Everyday is a battle between my head, heart, and well, my immune system. I do want to help myself and heal myself, but this is so huge and new to me. I don’t even know where to begin.
Think about your last cold, and how icky you felt all week. Think about your anxiety sitting on a roller coaster waiting for it to start. Think about how you felt trying to fit in first week of high school. Think about your last morning after a horrible sleep. Think about the guilt you felt last time you let someone down. These are the things I feel every day, and they just spring up on me with no just cause. Sure there are times when smiles and laughs distract me from the negatives, but that general feeling of just not being well is always lingering. Think about those two cyclists from the beginning of this, and how different they are going to feel, both mentally and physically, after their own journeys up that hill.
I may
look OK (makeup does wonders), but the things going on inside my body
and head are a whole other world that I’m just finally exposing to
others, and exploring more of for myself.
End of article
Word of the Day: Hope
Hope goes hand in hand with other important words to me, like resiliency and motivation. If you aren't motivated and resilient, then you can often feel hopeless, or less hopeful.
I was especially thinking about hope on Tuesday night, when Democrat Doug Jones defeated Roy Moore in the race for the Senate seat from Alabama that was vacated by now Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Alabama hasn't had a Democratic Senator in 25 years. The state is typically very red. But the fact that the Republicans were trying to push through an admitted racist and bigot, and accused child predator, combined with the failing policies of our current President, has turned the state blue, at least for the Senate. It has been a strong defeat for Trump and the Republicans, and a big boost to the Democrats. There was a lot of hope on Tuesday night. Much rejoicing and excitement.
But the good feelings are tempered by the fact that Jones barely won. It was an extremely close race, much tighter than it should have been, considering who was running. In fact, at the time I am writing this, on Thursday morning, Roy Moore has yet to concede. He's attempting to contest Jones' win. Also, there is talk that Republicans, and Trump, will try to push through important legislation, including the terrible tax bill, before Jones can be sworn in, to make sure his vote won't count. Just like when the Republicans refused to even give a hearing to President Obama's choice for the Supreme Court. They stalled for so long that it was President Trump who was ultimately allowed to seat a new Supreme Court Justice.
So hope is usually balanced by reality. But hope is still a vital part of one's life, one's psyche. You have to have hope; you have to believe that bad times are fleeting, you have to understand that improvement is not only possible, but probable. And you have to use the hope you cultivate and nurture within you to make that success happen. Have faith in what you want, fight for it, and attain it.
librarianintx
I was especially thinking about hope on Tuesday night, when Democrat Doug Jones defeated Roy Moore in the race for the Senate seat from Alabama that was vacated by now Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Alabama hasn't had a Democratic Senator in 25 years. The state is typically very red. But the fact that the Republicans were trying to push through an admitted racist and bigot, and accused child predator, combined with the failing policies of our current President, has turned the state blue, at least for the Senate. It has been a strong defeat for Trump and the Republicans, and a big boost to the Democrats. There was a lot of hope on Tuesday night. Much rejoicing and excitement.
But the good feelings are tempered by the fact that Jones barely won. It was an extremely close race, much tighter than it should have been, considering who was running. In fact, at the time I am writing this, on Thursday morning, Roy Moore has yet to concede. He's attempting to contest Jones' win. Also, there is talk that Republicans, and Trump, will try to push through important legislation, including the terrible tax bill, before Jones can be sworn in, to make sure his vote won't count. Just like when the Republicans refused to even give a hearing to President Obama's choice for the Supreme Court. They stalled for so long that it was President Trump who was ultimately allowed to seat a new Supreme Court Justice.
So hope is usually balanced by reality. But hope is still a vital part of one's life, one's psyche. You have to have hope; you have to believe that bad times are fleeting, you have to understand that improvement is not only possible, but probable. And you have to use the hope you cultivate and nurture within you to make that success happen. Have faith in what you want, fight for it, and attain it.
librarianintx
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