On the bus

On the Megabus earlier today: shoes off, temperature just right, munching on a mesquite-smoked chicken (hormone, nitrate, and preservative-free) and havarti sandwich while rolling through the Central Texas countryside awash with wildflowers and a clear blue sky and mobile blogging about last night's concert - it was a good day.

And yes, the above is a run-on sentence. I know this. I am an English major. I'm asking you to call off the Grammar Police and focus on the emotion the words are intended to convey.

librarianintx

A Fairly Rare Event

It does not happen often, but my roommate and I went to a concert last night. It was our first time at the Circuit of the America's (COTA) Ausin 360 Amphitheater. The venue is new and high quality - red seats with big cupholders attached, adequate room for people who need sustance or a potty break to squeeze by you, and clean restrooms. The staff was friendly and welcoming. The ADA accommodations were top notch. Plenty of disabled parking was available next to the entrance, and a golf cart whisked us to our seats, and was waiting after the concert to return us to the entrance. "Do you want to go up to the food area first?" the cheerful female driver asked. "I'll be happy you to drive you there." We were fine, we assured her. There were water and soda machines next to the restrooms near our seats if we got thirsty.

We were there to see a band called the 1975. The last concert we went to, probably sometime last fall, was to see Jackson Browne. We were likely two of the youngest people at that show. For this one, the average age was likely between 16 - 21. These young people stood, cheered, danced, and sang along from the opening note of the first song. In some ways it was a difficult night for me. I couldn't stand the whole time, and even though we were in the fifth row, I couldn't see when I was sitting. My best view was looking at the phones of the people in the row ahead of me, as they pointed their cameras at the stage. Every time the girls screamed, I knew the charismatic lead singer was shaking his ass or flipping his hair. When I did stand for a few of the songs, my balance was poor and I displayed my embarrassing lack of rhythm. I looked wistfully at the teenage girls in their cute summer dressses, their ponytails bobbing as they danced and sang and waved their arms.

But I still enjoyed myself. I was out doing something fun on a weeknight. Their music is catchy and infectious. I was able to sing along to songs I barely knew. At one point, the lead singer urged everyone to jump, and suddenly there was a sea of people jumping up and down in time to the music. That was my favorite part of the night. An entire amphitheater of people having a blast, being carefree, and I was both a happy witness and a participant - even when my feet had to stay firmly on the concrete.

librarianintx

Yesterday

My list of things to do yesterday wasn't THAT extensive. I've had way longer lists previously. But I felt overwhelmed. I've had so much to do lately. My weeks have been very busy. I knew if I could get home from work and accomplish the tasks on that list, especially cleaning up my room, I would feel so much calmer.

Success!! I went to bed twenty minutes EARLY last night with the bedroom clutter much improved, a safe path to my desk, dirty clothes in the basket, a clean kitchen and more organized bathroom , food and clothes ready for today, and a suitcase packed for Friday. And I even had time to watch two shows!

Determination and attitude aren't the only keys to success, but they are two of the most important.

librarianintx

Ten things that make me happy

In an effort to promote resiliency and combat negativity, I'm listing ten things I do to feel happy, accomplished, successful:

1) Make time to read
2) Make time to journal / blog
3) Do something that I was nervous or scared to do
4) Practice mindfulness and gratefulness
5) Watch dancing / listen to music
6) Learn something new
7) Be organized
8) Eat a healthy meal and drink water
9) Spend time outdoors
10) Be in bed on time

Even when I'm having a bad day (like yesterday), if I can try to do at least a few of these, I will sometimes feel better about the day. Yesterday I wrote two blogs, finished a book I was reading, watched Dancing with the Stars from Monday, and at least tried to focus on mindfulness and gratefulness. And I was in bed early. So if I can concentrate on those five aspects and not on what went wrong yesterday, I will hopefully feel more positive about the day.

As always, a work in progress.

librarianintx

Anger vs Laughter

Update on 5/22/16:

Ooops.

I had tried to insert an image from Facebook about anger vs laughter, but evidently it didn't paste. So this post didn't make much sense. Here's the quote:

"One minute of anger weakens the immune system for four to five hours. One minute of laughter boosts the immune system for over 24 hours." 

So me.
So me.
This is SO me.

I do not know how to deal effectively with anger. I feel emotions so strongly, but I struggle to communicate and manage anger, so it festers and boils inside me. So many hours of so many days have been wasted crying and obsessing over unresolved anger and frustration.

I need to care enough about me to make my emotional well-being a priority. A principle way to achieve this is to believe that my feelings are important and deserve to be recognized and respected.

Communicating how I feel doesn't necessarily mean that anyone will listen, or care. But expressing myself will mean that I care enough about ME to stand up for myself.

librarianintx

Calendar

I get a little chill of excitement every time I turn the calendar to a new month. Does this happen to anyone else? I guess even when life is going badly, you can feel at least some hope in the promise of a new day, a new month, a new year. It's all about perspective and what you choose to focus on.

Plus I love seeing the new picture each month, especially when it's a butterfly calendar.

The days have been flying by, as on the wings of a butterfly. Maybe I can find the time to blog more this month.

librarianintx

Mobile blogging - I'm back!

When I got my new mobile phone a few months ago, I downloaded the Blogger app, but I couldn't access my blog. I didn't remember that my blog was set up through a different gmail account. I thought it was set up through yahoo.

So my blog has been neglected because I've been so busy. AND I thought my desktop computer had died, which further hampered my ability to blog.

So it's good news all around. My desktop computer is actually alive (a friend figured out that the surge protector gave its' life for the computer and printer it was attached to during a power failure) AND my mobile blogging ability is back! I hope this means more blogging in the future!

librarianintx

DWTS Recap, Season 22, Episode 1

Yes, I'm a week behind. Story of my life.

While this wasn't the best first episode of a new season, it was a solid beginning. As usual, there were one or two stand-out performances, a couple of terrible ones, and the rest were decent for their debut dances. Here's my quick re-cap:

My Two Favorites:
Wanya Morris and Lindsey
Wanya is from the 90's R&B group Boyz II Men. They danced a cha cha to the Boyz II Men hit "Motownphilly." I was highly entertained, and so was the audience! There was enough cha cha content in the dance to make Len mostly happy (welcome back Len!) and enough comedy to make the routine super fun as well. Bruno praised his "suave and swagger." The pair triple tied for high score of the night with a 23.

Nyle Dimarco and Peta
Nyle is a winner of America's Next Top Model, and the second Deaf person to be a contestant on DWTS (Marlee Matlin was the first). They performed a H-O-T cha cha. Caliente indeed! Bruno was so overcome he had to run over and touch Nyle. I know he wasn't the only person there who wanted to. They tied with Wanya and Lindsey and another team for the highest score of the night.

My Two Surprises:
Paige Van Zant and Mark
Paige is a pro fighter. I've never heard of her, but when you think of a female fighter, you don't think of dance ability. But Paige coped very well with her foxtrot. She had good flow of movement, and looked feminine  and pretty in her costume. She just needs to work on her timing, and she could be a contender. She received a solid 21 for the night. I do have to ask, though, "What was up with Mark's hair?" :-)

Jody Sweetin and Keo
Hallelujah, Keo may finally have a good one! Jody, from "Full House" fame, was a surprise because she was so nervous and full of doubt in her behind-the-scenes package. To draw a tango in the first week is not easy, but Jody looked fierce and kept a good frame. Carrie Ann was impressed, and so was I. She and Keo received a 20 for the night.

The Best of the Rest:
Ginger Zee and Val
The Good Morning America weatherwoman has an energetic personality and put a lot of pizzaz into her jive. I was actually less enthusiastic than the judges about it, because I don't think she did enough kick and flicks, and I thought her timing may have been a hair off. But it was a fun routine with very good energy. Ginger and Val were the third team to receive a high score of 23.

Middle of the pack:
Two football players, Antonio Brown of the Pittsburgh Steelers (dancing with Sharna) and Von Miller from the Denver Broncos (dancing with Whitney) both earned scores of 21 for the night. Antonio's quickstep was wild and almost on the edge of recklessness, with a lot of time out of hold. Von's foxtrot was a solid performance, but not exactly memorable.

Kim Fields with Sasha
Kim, from "Facts of Life" and more recently "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" danced a sexy cha cha that was just a tad stiff and needed more hip action. She and Sasha have chemistry and look great together. But you know my rant is coming: WHY WERE THERE EXTRA DANCERS?!?! This is only the first episode of the season! They weren't the only team that included extra dancers, but I'll refrain from repeating my rant. Kim and Sasha earned a 20 for their dance.

Marla Maples with Tony
The former Mrs. Trump (and an actress don't forget!) danced an acceptable quickstep that was a bit overly flashy at the end. She looked fantastic, and the judges were impressed. Marla and Tony received a 21 for their dance.

And now for the rough ones:
Mischa Barton and Artem
I know Mischa's tango wasn't good, but I was aghast at Len's harsh comments. She was already nervous and disappointed in her performance, and then Len threw salt on her wounds. He made her cry, and that was so hard to watch. I hope she can come back next week and improve. Shame on you Len! Mischa received a painful score of 16.

Doug Flutie and Karina
Former football great Flutie danced a foxtrot to a Neil Diamond great. Unfortunately, the dance was terrible. Doug was way off, but he tried, and the crowd loved him anyway. Karina did most of the work, and somehow managed to keep her dress from being a heap of fabric on the floor. I swear, it was held together by one thread resting on her hip. Doug received the second lowest score of the night: a 14.

Geraldo Rivera and Edyta
Hooray, Edyta is back after a LONG absence! Unfortunately, her time on the show will likely be extremely brief. Controversial reporter / talk show host Geraldo was abysmal as a dancer. He called himself "The only Puerto Rican who can't dance" and then proved his point. He received a dismal 13 for that "dance."

"America's Favorite Dance Party is back!" (tm Erin Andrews) and I couldn't be happier!

librarianintx 
 

Survivor Season 32 Episode 2

Sigh.
Yes, I'm behind - as usual.

It's already apparent who will be getting the most screen time this season: Debbie, Tai, Caleb, and Alecia especially. Tai and Caleb have a strange bromance thing happening. Debbie is driving her tribe crazy. Alecia is still the one to eliminate in her tribe.

Part of this episode centered on fire - or lack thereof. The Brain tribe was wasting their fire making resources. The Brawn tribe was still struggling to get fire. Amazingly, it was Alecia who finally got their fire going. It didn't help her standing in the group, however.

The Immunity challenge was another physically demanding exercise. In addition, the two winning tribes received fishing kits, one more elaborate than the other of course. The Beauty tribe came in first, and the Brain tribe took second. The Brawn tribe returned to tribal council. The thing I will remember most from this challenge was what a horribly annoying cheerleader Debbie was. She was the person in her tribe designated to sit out. I wish she had played. Her teammates probably did too, or maybe they were able to ignore her.

Before tribal council, the men of the Brawn tribe were ready to send Alecia home. But then Jenn began to plant the idea of an all-girls alliance, which would begin by eliminating Jason. However, at tribal council, Jenn unfortunately overshared. For some reason she decided to lie and say it was Alecia's idea to form an all-girls alliance. I don't know why she did that. It backfired on her, and she was the one kicked off. Alecia survived another tribal council.

librarianintx

I Said Yes to Sugar

All last weekend.

I was offered sugar products three times, and I said yes every time.

Sigh.

I had been doing well. Except for fruit bars, I had not been eating sugary foods. I was drinking my protein shakes, and I was happy. Feeling good. I wasn't missing my sugary snacks like I thought I would.

But when I was offered sugar, I ate it with only a little hesitation. On Friday night, my friends that I was spending the weekend with brought me a chocolate milkshake from Sonic. We were having a late take-out dinner, and the milkshake was a beverage designed to keep me from getting too hungry before the food arrived. The fact that it was a pre-meal snack was helpful, because it meant I didn't drink the whole thing, so I wouldn't get too full. But damn, it was good. Too delicious.

Then I spent time with my mom over the weekend, and she gave me belated Valentine cookies. My mom is famous for her sugar cookies, and she makes them four times a year: for Hanukkah/Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, and Halloween. She gives them to family, friends, co-workers, doctors and dentists. They are made with real butter and either sprinkles or icing, and they are truly sinful. I asked her to give me a small bag because I am trying to cut down on sugar. I ate three cookies last weekend. I guess it could have been worse. I could have consumed the whole bag.

So far at work I have walked away from multiple bags of candy. But the real test came on Monday, when someone brought in donuts. I had wondered if I would be able to resist donuts. I got my answer: a resounding NO! Well, maybe I would have, but a co-worker brought me one because I didn't know they were there. And I couldn't be rude and say no, right? I couldn't tell her to take it away after she had been so kind to think of me. But really...I would have run right over and taken one myself if I had known about them. I think there would have been very little hesitation. It was a busy, stressful day, and I wolfed that thing down like I had been wandering in the desert for a week.

But since then I've been back on track. I had protein shakes on Monday night and last night. I still need to find a substitute for the fruit bars. But I feel like I'm back on the wagon. I'm not too upset with myself. I never claimed I was giving up sugar entirely. I know there will be times when I eat something sugary. I think I'm just upset that it happened four days in a row. But still, cutting down on sugar has been easier than I expected.  

librarianintx

  

Survivor Season 32 - Episode 1

The Survivor top brass has figured out that medical drama creates interest and gets people watching and talking, so although the main theme of this season will be another installment of "Brawn vs Brains vs Beauty," the secondary theme will be "Medical Drama."

We were "treated" to two illnesses on the premiere episode of Season 32: Brain tribe member Aubry suffered through an anxiety attack exacerbated by heat exhaustion, while Brawn tribe member Jennifer experienced a thin but long bug burrowing itself in her ear canal, which caused bleeding and great discomfort. Luckily, both women pulled through their difficulties without needing medical assistance, and they each performed well in the combined immunity / reward challenge. 

There are six members in each of the three tribes, but I'm scratching my head over where three of the eighteen participants have been placed. Former Big Brother contestant Caleb is undoubtedly a good looking dude, but I think he belongs in the Brawn tribe, not the Beauty tribe. Alecia is a wisp of a girl that I would have put in the Beauty tribe, not the Brawn tribe. And no offense honestly, but Tai in the Beauty tribe? I would have put him in the Brain tribe. As someone who grew up in Thailand, he will probably be the most equipped to deal with surviving in this remote part of Southeast Asia.

The first challenge was grueling, especially considering that only the Beauty tribe had fire, so water must have been a concern for the other two tribes. The challenge involved diving for paddles, then turning a boat into a truck, then solving a puzzle. Brawn and brains were required for this event, and the Brain tribe came in first, winning immunity and a big basket of fire-making products. Brawn was sent to tribal council, mainly for two reasons: Darnell dropped the goggles at the beginning of the challenge, and Alecia was like a deer in the headlights when it came to solving the puzzle. So their tribe mates put the two of them on the chopping block. The first vote ended in a tie, but Darnell's torch was snuffed out in the re-vote. I think the tribe made a mistake. True, Darnell dropping the goggles was a costly error. But the Brawn tribe needs brawn, both at camp and in the challenges. Alecia is by far the least brawny person in that tribe.

librarianintx

The Grammy's

I really enjoyed watching the Grammy's this year, and have for the past several years. I am kind of an awards show freak. I say "kind of" because I don't watch all of them, and I don't have the time to watch the red carpet arrivals like I used to. My favorite award shows are the Emmy's, because I watch so much television, and the Grammy's, because I like music. I also like the Golden Globes, because it's about movies and tv, and I like watching tipsy celebrities trying to navigate their way through the maze of tables to ascend the stage.

I don't consider myself an entertainment whore, but I like to see who arrives with who, and what everyone is wearing. Even though Joan is gone and the show isn't the same, I watch the Fashion Police to see if I agree with their best and worst dressed at the awards shows.

Some of my favorite aspects of the Grammy's show:
1) I like how the Grammy's often have singers or groups perform together. Sometimes its someone new on the scene singing with a legend, like Sara Bareilles sharing the stage with Carole King. Sometimes they pair two new performers. And sometimes its about about a bunch of powerhouses coming together to create magic, such as when Stevie Wonder, Pharrell Williams, Daft Punk, and Nile Rogers got everyone on their feet and dancing to "Get Lucky." This year the audience was grooving to a medley of Music Cares Person of the Year Lionel Ritchie's songs, performed by John Legend, Meghan Trainor, Demi Lovato, Luke Bryan, Tyrese, and the man himself.

2) The Grammy's introduces me to performers and songs that I might not have listened to otherwise. I think I am much more open-minded than I used to be about music. I know that I'm not a fan of most rap or country, but I watch every performance on the Grammy's, and I'm often surprised by what I like. This year I really enjoyed Little Big Town's rendition of "Girl Crush," and it has played in my head off and on all week.

3) It warms my heart to see industry people celebrating each other. I know a lot people think celebrities are vapid and don't deserve the fame and money that they have, but I don't necessarily agree. Sure, some celebrities are assholes. But lots of regular people are assholes too. I think singers and musicians work very hard, and they deserve to enjoy the money that they earn. I like seeing people celebrating each other's accomplishments and achievements, and appreciating each other's music. It was great to see someone like Dave Grohl smiling and swaying to "All Night Long," for example. And I know a lot of people think Taylor Swift is a spotlight grabber, often jumping out of her seat and going crazy when someone else wins, or dancing energetically in the audience. But I like that she is so enthusiastic. She doesn't just sit in her seat and look bored. She is fun to watch. And she is close friends with Ed Sheeren, so she was genuinely thrilled when he beat her for Song of the Year on Monday night.

4) The Grammy's in particular used to be quite out of touch with the people who buy and listen to music. I'll never forget when Jethro Tull won the Grammy in 1988 for Best Hard Rock / Metal album. But now I think the Grammy's are much more in tune, pun intended. Rapper Kendrick Lamar was the big winner of the night, and Taylor Swift won Album of the Year. In addition, one of the most popular songs of 2015, Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars' "Uptown Funk" won Record of the Year.

The Grammy's telecast is always a long show, and I went to bed slightly past my bedtime. But it was worth it.

librarianintx

I said no to a cookie!

Last Sunday I bought a container of chocolate chip cookies for a co-worker's birthday. For the rest of that day, those cookies were in my apartment, hidden in a re-usable grocery bag, yes, but I knew they were there. I could have easily swiped a cookie without anyone knowing. But I didn't.

On Monday morning, I put the container, total number of cookies intact, on my co-worker's desk with the card that we had all signed. A few minutes later, I noticed that the cookies had been placed in the communal snack area, by the printer in the office services section of our department. Usually when someone has a birthday we bring in treats to share, and that's where they go, so you can grab a cookie or a handful of goldfish or a piece of Godiva chocolate as you pick up papers from the printer, or grab a stack of envelopes, or a notepad, or a new pen that doesn't leak.

My work for the day necessitated several trips to Office Services. I had printed documents from the Internet and Microsoft Word. I had sent addresses to the label printer from our patron database. I had to make some copies. At least four or five times I found myself in that area, staring at those cookies. Some had disappeared, but definitely all. In the blink of an eye, one of them could have found its way into my hand, then in my mouth, on the way to my stomach. But each time I said no, and kept on walking.

At the end of the day, I went back to my apartment, and I made myself a sugar free chocolate protein shake. I was very proud of myself for avoiding the cookie.

Several months ago I wrote a blog post about sugar. My decision at that time was that I enjoyed my sugary snacks, and I didn't want to give them up. My afternoon cookies or brownies were one of the highlights of my day. Sugar is a staple of the average American diet; can it really be that bad for you?

But since then I have read more, especially about the link between sugar and metastatic breast cancer. Now, I am on a birth control pill, so I am already at a higher risk for breast cancer. I will probably have to go on hormone replacement therapy when I achieve menopause, so that will also increase my risk. And even though I am trying to reduce my sugar intake, I believe I will never completely eliminate sugar from my diet. So why am I trying at all?

I guess I'm hoping that reduction is at least better than no change at all. Since I started to reduce my sugar intake in early January, I think I've only had a sugary snack three times. I had nutella once, a cookie once, and yesterday I indulged in chocolate cake when I took a friend out to lunch for her birthday. The cake was amazing, and I did enjoy it - but not as much as I would have before this new year. I feel better about myself when I avoid eating something high in sugar.

I have been pretty successful with the daily treats. I actually like the taste of the sugar free shakes. I also like the taste of honey in tea instead of sugar. But I am struggling with giving up my daily fruit bar, which has a lot of sugar in it. I haven't found a worthy substitute. I also like yogurt, but I am trying to eat cottage cheese instead.

I miss the carefree days of ignorance. But making healthy eating choices is beginning to feel as satisfying as that chocolate chip cookie hitting my taste buds. I know I won't always say no to a cookie or a piece of cake or scoop of ice cream. But if I can limit sugary treats to special occasions, that would be the new normal I would like to achieve. For now, I would be happy with that.

Time for a shake!

librarianintx

The Ups and Downs of My Grocery Store Experience

Sunday morning in Austin, Texas. A BEAUTIFUL last day in January. Temperatures in the 60's, on the way to a possible record high in the 80's.

Downside #1 of said shopping trip:
There was a re-stocking apocalypse in the fruit and vegetable area, which just happened to be the location of the majority of the items on my carefully crafted list. Evidently most of my fellow shoppers had a similar list, because that section of the store was teeming with frazzled mothers, impatient fathers, hungry children, distracted millennials, shopping carts acting like bumper cars, small dollies, boxes of produce, and harried HEB employees trying to do their job.

But there was an upside to this downside. A very nice female employee went out of her way to track down a black case filled with bags of kale, an important ingredient that I did not want to leave the store without purchasing.

Downside #2:
My driver was less than enthusiastic about helping me with my bags. It's her job, but that doesn't mean she has to like it, and she disliked it quite openly this morning. She was cranky when I politely gave her directions to my apartment, and reminded me that she has picked me up several times from the store. In fact, she seemed to be more than implying that she wished I would shop at a time and day when I would not be on her schedule. Like I can make THAT happen. She actually said  to me, "Do you shop EVERY Sunday morning?" Yes, I do, lady. I shop every Sunday morning for the specific reason to make your life difficult. Actually, I don't shop every Sunday morning.

Related downside to downside #2:
I had to pee like I was nine months pregnant. The kind of needing to pee when your lower abdomen is causing you significant discomfort, and all you can think about is the fact that it might be as long as thirty minutes before you have access to a bathroom. And when you finally get on the bus and you find out that the driver has another pick up before you get to go home - further prolonging what has become a code yellow pee emergency - you can't seem to concentrate on any subject except your brain repeating I HAVE TO PEE like an old record player with a stuck needle. Have I now lost anyone born after 1990?

And now for the upsides of downsides #2 and #2.5:
I killed the driver - WITH KINDNESS PEOPLE! I killed her with kindness. Yeesh. I thanked her profusely when she helped me carry my bags to the door. I smiled and said, "Thank you SO much, and I hope you have a great rest of the day."

Also, I made it to the bathroom without peeing myself. Definitely the biggest accomplishment of the day. Even bigger than walking out of the store with the elusive bag of kale.

But I have one more upside to the grocery store experience, and there is no downside associated with it, which is very exciting. Somehow, even though I am four foot eleven and there are items that I cannot reach, this morning my stretching ability was enhanced. I was able to secure the jar of pickle relish, the box of shredded wheat, AND the usually completely unattainable pack of two black markers from their high perches. Today I did not have to stand in a deserted aisle and stare forlornly at each needed thing, hoping that someone would come around a corner and I would summon the nerve to ask for help. No help required today. An end of January miracle happened there.

librarianintx

My bus ride yesterday morning

For the past few weeks, every Thursday morning I have been on the paratransit bus with a young woman who is blind and mentally challenged. I have been a passenger with her several times over the years. She talks a lot, to the driver and to herself.

Yesterday morning she kept talking about her gynecological visit. She mentioned having a pap smear several times. She also cursed a few times. I have never heard her say dirty words before. Her swearing and talking about her pap smear didn't seem to have a connection. She wasn't cursing about her pap smear. Then she would suddenly let out a loud shriek. Again, the shrieking apparently didn't have anything to do with the gynecology experience. She was simply shrieking.

I am unnerved by sudden, loud noises. And I did not want to hear about pap smears at seven o'clock in the morning. I don't ever want to think about pap smears: mine, her's, or anyone's.

Such is life when you ride the paratransit service. You don't know who you are going to ride with, or how they are going to behave. You have no control over the route, the time, who your driver is, or your fellow passengers. It is a SHARED RIDE SERVICE. I have ridden with incessant talkers; movers and shakers; complainers; terrible singers; foul mouthed, racist old ladies; and people who have peed and pooped on themselves. I have also had the pleasure to ride with many sweet, intelligent, hardworking, caring, funny, happy individuals. I have met a few people that have lived in Austin for decades, and offer memories and stories about the little town that has burgeoned into a major metropolis. I have seen some of the grandest homes in Austin, and some of the seediest apartment complexes. I have enjoyed the hilltop views around Loop 360, witnessed the continued gentrification of the East Side, and felt the desperation of the 7th Street ARCH.

It's not a great situation. But I get where I need to go, and I usually get there on time. I can choose to be upset about the downsides of paratransit, or I can find the humor, the humanity, and the history in what I experience. Most days I opt for the latter.

librarianintx

One entire month

For the entire month of January, 2016, I have been consistent.

An entire month of going to bed on time on Sunday and week nights: by 10:40 pm.

An entire month of getting out of bed on time during the week: by 5:50 a.m.

An entire month of keeping the kitchen clean.

An entire month of taking my medicine daily.

An entire month of doing my morning skin care routine.

There's more, but you get the idea. I don't think I've ever been this consistent for an entire month. It feels great. Consistency makes me happy. Consistency keeps me calm. I am so pleased when my surroundings are organized and look nice. Now when I come home from work, I get my clothes and jewelry ready and make my food for the next day instead of waiting until eight or nine o'clock at night to do it, which makes me run late for eating dinner and getting into bed. It feels so good not to feel rushed. I feel so much better now when I wake up in the morning. That extra thirty minutes to an hour of sleep does wonders for me. I feel more alert and have better energy. And I am usually ready five to ten minutes earlier. Some days I even have time for a quick breakfast. 

Now I need to make time for the activities I enjoy - reading, journaling, blogging. And I still desire a social life. I don't want my existence to focus on keeping organized. There needs to be more to my life than that. When I reflect at the end of each day, I want to have memories, experiences, interesting stories. I want more from my life than "I went to bed on time," or "I didn't leave any dishes in the sink." I want to have time and energy for the organization and the experiences.

librarianintx

New Year's Resolutions 2016

Call them what they are - Don't beat around the bush. They are New Year's Resolutions, and I have a whole list of them. Will I keep the resolutions? Will I achieve the goals I set myself? I don't know. I'll probably have both success and failure like we all do. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

Here's the list, in no particular order:

1) Cut down on sugar
2) Eat better
3) Exercise
4) Get out of my own head!
5) Meditate
6) Stay motivated
7) Write and blog more
8) Look for extra ways of making money
9) Procrastinate less
10) Have experiences. Make memories

librarianintx

Books I read in 2015

My goal was to read at least one book per month, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I read nineteen books in 2015. Here is the list (not in order):

Seeds of Yesterday by V.C. Andrews
Garden of Shadows by V.C. Andrews
Good Kings, Bad Kings: A Novel by Susan Nussbaum
Peony: A Novel of China by Pearl S, Buck
Wifey by Judy Blume
The 100 by Kass Morgan
Wayward Pines (Book One) by Blake Crouch
The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule
The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon
Prince Harry: Brother, Soldier, Son by Penny Junor
I am Nujood, Aged 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali
We were There: Revelations from the Dallas Doctors Who Attended to JFK on November 22, 1963 by Allen Childs
Infinite Sacrifice by L.E. Waters
Behind the Scenes, or Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the White House by Elizabeth Keckley
Adrenalized: Life, Def Leppard, and Beyond by Phil Collen
Say What You Will by Cammie McGovern
A Lincoln: His Last 24 Hours by E. Emerson Reck
Born Into the Children of G-d by Natacha Tormey
Burn Down the Ground by Kambri Crews

Of these nineteen, I read three of them on audio: Wayward Pines, The Stranger Beside Me, and A Lincoln: His Last 24 Hours.

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances Finale

I know, I am super late in posting this. You know, the holidays, plus my mom celebrated a big birthday....blah blah. But what a great finale it was! It was a very fun season to watch. My dream final four would have been Woo, Joe, Spencer, and Jeremy. Yes, I was rooting for Spencer to win, but honestly, I knew he wouldn't. He had too many enemies on the jury. I'm just thrilled he made it to the final tribal council. Jeremy played the family/new baby card at exactly the right time. I'm glad he won; obviously he was one of my favorites. The game meant something very different to Jeremy and Spencer. Jeremy wanted to win for the money. Spencer wanted to win for the title. Both wanted redemption for their first time in the game, but so did everyone this season.

I think its interesting that I like Spencer so much, when so many people seem to view him as arrogant and detached. What I like about Spencer is his determination and scrappiness, for lack of a better term (Blogger doesn't like it!) He is a team player and a good strategist, as well as an excellent puzzle-solver. He does not give up. Somehow he went from first on everyone's lips to be voted out, to making it to the finale tribal council.

Thanks for a fantastic season, Survivor and players! And congratulations to Jeremy and his family!

librarianintx

Survivor Second Chances

Two weeks - two medical emergencies. These contestants are SERIOUS. They are giving it everything they have, and I think of the six people remaining in the competition, all of them would be deserving of the million dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor - except Kimmie. I like her; I simply don't think she has done enough to win.

Oh happy days, Abi is gone!! Of course I understand the strategy of taking her to the final tribal council, but I did NOT want her there. She does not deserve it, and she is so mean-spirited and difficult. It made my day to see her walk down those stairs after being blindsided. I was worried that Spencer had gone to the dark side and made a final four pact that included Abi and Wentworth, but luckily he didn't, and stayed with Tasha and Jeremy.

I wanted to throw something at my ailing television when Spencer and Jeremy voted with the girls to eliminate Joe. I understand that Joe is a challenge beast, and they needed to get him out. But I was so freaked out that the girls would pick off the guys. If Spencer, Jeremy, and Joe had enlisted Keith's help, instead of letting him flounder off by himself, and if they had managed to get Tasha on their side, they could have gotten Abi out last week, or even voted out Kimmie. Eliminating one of the two would have broken the girls voting block. Then at the beginning of this week's episode, both Jeremy and Spencer were regretting their decision to vote out Joe. DUH!! But luckily, it worked out okay. Spencer won the immunity challenge, Tasha voted with him and Jeremy, and they didn't end up needing Keith, but I think they should still get him on their side.

Joe is one of my favorites, and I was so sorry to see him go. He had a great shot at winning, and he deserved to win. He is so great at challenges, and he's such a good person. I could have slapped Abi for the way she talked about him after tribal council.

ANYTHING can happen in the finale next week. Everyone except Kimmie, and to a certain extent Tasha, are very strong players and can win challenges. Of course I want Spencer to win, and I know he's still a long shot, but his odds have definitely improved greatly. He's very good at puzzles, and his patience and stamina have improved. The person I am most worried about is Wentworth. She has proven her ability to win, and she could easily get Keith into an alliance with her and Kimmie, and maybe pull in Tasha, although hopefully not. The girls often excel at endurance challenges, and she definitely could outlast everyone in such a scenario. If Spencer doesn't win, then I hope Jeremy does, or Keith. I am not rooting for Wentworth, but would give her props if she did, because she is deserving.

librarianintx