Caring for Yourself

Be Kind to Yourself - Right Now
http://www.mindful.org/mindful-magazine/be-kind-to-yourself%E2%80%94right-now

To be kind to others, you need to start with yourself. 

People often find some difficulty in caring for themselves, in receiving love, in believing they deserve to be happy.

Imagine for a moment the amount of energy you expend brooding over the future, ruminating about the past, comparing yourself to others, judging yourself, worrying about what might happen next. That is a huge amount of energy. Now imagine all of that energy gathered in and returned to you. Underlying our usual patterns of self-preoccupation, stinging self-judgment, and fear is the universal, innate potential for love and awareness.

Loving kindness meditations point us back to a place within, where we can cultivate love and help it flourish.
Developing care toward ourselves is the first objective, the foundation for later being able to include others in the sphere of kindness.

This loving kindness practice involves silently repeating phrases that offer good qualities to oneself and to others.

1. You can start by taking delight in your own goodness—calling to mind things you have done out of good-heartedness, and rejoicing in those memories to celebrate the potential for goodness we all share.

2. Silently recite phrases that reflect what we wish most deeply for ourselves in an enduring way. Traditional phrases are:

• May I live in safety.
• May I have mental happiness (peace, joy).
• May I have physical happiness (health, freedom from pain).
• May I live with ease.

3. Repeat the phrases with enough space and silence between so they fall into a rhythm that is pleasing to you. Direct your attention to one phrase at a time.

4. Each time you notice your attention has wandered, be kind to yourself and let go of the distraction. Come back to repeating the phrases without judging or disparaging yourself.

5. After some time, visualize yourself in the center of a circle composed of those who have been kind to you, or have inspired you because of their love. Perhaps you’ve met them, or read about them; perhaps they live now, or have existed historically or even mythically. That is the circle. As you visualize yourself in the center of it, experience yourself as the recipient of their love and attention. Keep gently repeating the phrases of loving kindness for yourself.

6. To close the session, let go of the visualization, and simply keep repeating the phrases for a few more minutes. Each time you do so, you are transforming your old, hurtful relationship to yourself, and are moving forward, sustained by the force of kindness.

End of article.

This past weekend, I was out of town, and did not feel well enough to return home and start the work week. Considering how much I have traveled during the past few years, I feel fortunate that this is the first time I have been unable to return home due to illness. Still, I spun in my head about whether or not I could or should travel back on Sunday. I was not too sick to travel; I felt it would be better not to push myself. But then I felt guilty about missing work, and possibly inconveniencing my loved ones. But once I finally made the decision to stay, I said to myself, "You don't feel well. You need to be kind to yourself. You are expending so much energy with your worry and indecision. Be okay with the choice you made, and know that it was the right decision for you." As soon as I said that to myself - wow - what a change in my physical and emotional health. I felt remarkably calm and relaxed. Staying an extra forty eight hours gave me the opportunity to spend more time with my mom on this Mother's Day weekend, and to make memories with other loved ones. Even though I wasn't feeling well, I made a conscious decision to enjoy the added time, and not feel guilty about missing work. When I made a commitment to improve my emotional health, my physical health - while not necessarily improving - at least made the symptoms of my chronic condition easier to manage.

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