Stranger encounter

I saw a post on Facebook the other day about how we should be nice to homeless people who ask us for money. We should be polite and either give them money, or say, "I'm sorry, I can't give you any money, but I wish you well and hope you have a good day."

I honestly would like to do that. I don't want to be rude and dismissive to anyone. I care about homeless people. I hate that they don't have a place to live. And some people may say this is a cop-out. But I am a small female with a physical disability. I do not feel comfortable stopping and talking to strangers. I know that most homeless people are harmless. However, I also know some homeless people are mentally ill. Does that necessarily make them dangerous? Does a mental illness make someone inherently violent? No. I know that. But some could be. Some of them are also on drugs that can make them very strong and threatening, such as K2. That is why if I am by myself I do not talk to anyone on the street, and I don't give them money.

The other day I exited a Megabus and was walking to my Uber. Ride share vehicles are usually hanging out near the bus area, so I figured my vehicle would arrive quickly, and it did. I had looked carefully at the license plate, and knew that was my ride, so I started walking toward it. In the literal minute it took me to walk from the bus to the car, a guy followed me, saying, "ma'am, ma'am," over and over. There were other people getting off the bus, but for whatever reason he picked me to follow. I was walking briskly; I wanted him to know that I had a destination and was heading that way. I wasn't hanging out waiting for someone to pick me up. He never asked me for money, but I assume that was his intention.

I got into the vehicle without incident. But I was unnerved. I did not feel safe. And I was mad and upset. I shouldn't have to feel unsafe on a city street. I wish the bus company would do something about the people begging for money. This is not the first time this has happened, but I was with a friend when it happened before, so I was less nervous. I would like to see the bus company hire a security guard. But the guy followed me when I was on the sidewalk, so I'm sure the bus company would say they have no responsibility if something happens off of their property.

I would gladly do things to help the homeless population. I would donate clothing, personal hygiene products, etc. I would go in a group to hand out food and necessities. But if I am by myself, I am not going to engage in conversation or show anyone that I have cash. I am not going to make myself more vulnerable than I already am. Maybe that makes me a bad person, or not as good a person as I want to be. For me, it's about self-protection.

We should have respect and compassion for homeless people, and do what we can for them. At the same time, I think respect should go both ways. If the man had walked up to me and politely asked me for money, I may not have acted differently, but I believe I would have felt much less nervous. He made me uncomfortable by following me and trying to engage with me, even when I was clearly walking away from him. He was violating my personal space and my sense of safety. There have been instances when the people asking for money have become violent, grabbing purses and bags and shoving people to the ground. I simply cannot take that risk. I won't.

librarianintx