a Sunday in July

Today is one of those odd days for me, when I feel at the same time both a little out of sorts and yet quite contented at the same time. In many ways it is a quiet Sunday afternoon, a comfortable time for me. Nowhere I have to go; nothing that I absolutely have to do. My roommate is studying at the dining room table; our cat is napping somewhere in my room; the only noise in the apartment is coming from the hum of the dryer and my fingers tapping on the keys. A day of few responsibilities, no pressure or stress to go anywhere or do anything. A lazy summer day. It feels good. And at the same time, it doesn't. I'm having trouble concentrating. I can't seem to focus on one thing for more than a few minutes. I read a page or two of a book. I watch a few minutes of a show. I search the 'Net. Nothing holds my attention.

I am hurting a lot today. Unfortunately, I am able to focus on that. I am looking for a successful diversion.

I was thinking the other day about titles. We all have them. I think most of us have multiple ones. I think its a good idea, when you're feeling down, and you don't think that you're getting anywhere in life, you should think about all the titles you have. It will help you realize that your life matters and there are people who care about you. For example, here are my titles: Daughter, Sister, Sister-in-law, Aunt, Cousin, Niece, Friend, Librarian, Teacher, Tutor, Roommate, Mother (to a cat, that counts), Message Boarder, now a Blogger, and as of this past Friday, a Trainer. I have other titles too, but I'll reveal those later. I should also include Student, because we are all learning throughout our lives.

I acquired the title of Trainer this past Friday because I began training two people at my work. I'll reveal more on this later. I'm not happy about the reason why I'm doing the training, but I will say it was pretty cool to be doing it. It was nice to be able to show what I know. For a lot of my life, people didn't listen to what I had to say, didn't believe me when I said something, and didn't seem to care about what was important to me or what I was good at. So even though I was a little nervous, and it was a bit exhausting, at the end of the day it felt good that I made the extra effort to look professional on a Friday, and show two people, both of them higher on the food chain than me at work, that I can do the work that I was hired to do.

"Tiny Victories: The Sweater Girl's Lifetime Original Picture"
Another inside joke here. I watch a fair amount of Lifetime movies, and some of them have pretty bizarre titles, like "She Woke Up Pregnant." "CJ" and I laugh about it, and have started coming up with our own titles. That one I just did. Our usual one is: "Moments of Evil," with someone's name after it. Yesterday I even did one about our kitchen trash can: "Back in the Closet: The Sweater Girl and 'CJ's' Trash Can Lifetime Original Picture."

Find a reason to laugh at least once a day. Its my tip for the day.