Interesting Observation

Something random that I thought about this morning. So much of our behavior is learned behavior. We often learn to fear things or situations at a young age, and it can be difficult to overcome those fears. For some, fears are never overcome. For others, they are able to change their frame of mind. Why can some people do it and other people can't?

Two examples in my life that I think are quite fascinating:
I love butterflies, but I greatly fear cockroaches.
I think squirrels are adorable, but I don't like rats.

How different are butterflies and cockroaches? Both are insects. Both can fly. Both have beady little eyes. Now, its true, butterflies are brightly colored, lovely, and fragile, while cockroaches are not attractive and are tougher creatures. But why can't I change my mindset? I see a cockroach, and my mind instantly reacts with fear. I still remember being terrorized by my older cousin, being chased into the bathroom, him turning the light off and putting a large, live cockroach down the back of my shirt. I remember the apartment complex I lived in with my mother and sister after my dad passed away, where large roaches would squeeze in through the front door. I could hear them scratching in my closet at night, and I even woke up once with one on my pillow. The stuff of nightmares, right? I still have a terrible fight or flight response when I see a cockroach. I haven't been able to get past my fear. But I have the opposite reaction when I see a butterfly. Its all about love and joy and admiration when I see a butterfly. Why can't I change my mindset, my emotions, my physical reactions, and feel no negativity when I see a cockroach?

The example of a squirrel versus a rat is not as extreme, but still comparable. To me a squirrel is cute, fun to watch, interesting, etc. Like rats, squirrels have tails, fur, and beady eyes. Both are rodents, aren't they? Yes, they are, I just googled the answer. :) I'm not as scared of rats, but that's because I've had much less negative experiences with rats. In fact, I've had some positive interactions with rats, because I have a friend who used to raise pet rats. So I've held rats and talked to them and hugged them (as much as you can hug a rat) Still, I'm convinced that if a rat ran across my kitchen floor I would scream and run out of the apartment. But why? What did the rat do to me? Did it bite me, attack me, chase me, harm me in any way? Likely no. So why do I fear them? In the case of rats, I think society's views are one reason. In the case of cockroaches, it's definitely learned behavior because of experiences. My mom has always been afraid of cockroaches as well.

I don't like being so afraid of roaches. Fear takes my power away. It makes me weak. It makes me feel small and stupid and down on myself. I've had a fear of cockroaches pretty much my whole life. Yet I've never been harmed by a roach, except the emotional toll I put on myself due to my fear. So when will I learn that the only damage has basically been self-inflicted? Can I change my way of thinking? Can I eradicate the emotional and physical reactions I have when I encounter a roach? If I see a roach and think calm, beautiful thoughts often enough, can I change the learned behavior?

librarianintx