Friday, January 01, 2010

Mind over matter

"Is this cockroach really hurting me in any way? " "Its simply like a butterfly; harmless and shaped different."

Saw this quote and is hopeful it will help me. I had to confront a huge, flying one in the apartment yesterday. Luckily he fell off the wall into a box and I got him outside.

But I'm still traumatized. Not exaggerating. I've had a severe roach phobia for about thirty years now. Its one of a few phobias I have. Last year I successfully killed a big, flying one in the apartment, and even though it was incredibly hard to do, I was hopeful that the experience had given me the courage to have some strength the next time I was faced with such a situation.

Didn't work. I had a panic attack. My heart pounded. My hands went numb. More than 24 hours later, I'm still nervous and jumpy.

But I do like that quote. I'm going to say it to myself when I feel scared. Because I love butterflies. Obviously.

librarianintx

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