Should one moment define your life?

Something happened yesterday -

I don't mean to vague-post, but I would rather not go into specifics. 

Someone made a comment during an online event that was...not nice. 

Happens frequently these days, unfortunately. 

Today this person sincerely apologized and took responsibility for their actions. 

So, my question is, should this one moment of thoughtlessness, frustration, bad temper, whatever was going on, define that person? 

Will the person be remembered for that one moment of poor judgement, communicated without forethought?

Two examples:

Will Smith 

One minute he's a wildly popular actor, rapper, comedian.

Then he slaps another actor onstage at the Oscars in front of millions of people, and in that instant, he becomes persona non grata.

He is banned from the Oscars. 

He loses job opportunities.

The public turns against him. 

He is almost arrested. 

Travis Kelse

One minute he's a successful, respected football player 

He's also Taylor Swift's hunky boyfriend. 

Then he shoves his coach during a heated moment in the Super Bowl, and suddenly he's not only a man capable of violence, he's also suddenly an abuser. 

Many people go online, urging Taylor to leave him before she gets physically assaulted. 

If she hasn't already been. 

From America's best boyfriend to "run away, run fast".

Is this right? 

Is it fair? 

Should who you are be defined by one moment in your life? 

In my two examples, should Will and Travis have been able to control their temper? 

Of course. 

But are we holier than thou to insist that WE would have been able to? 

We are all capable of good and bad.

Some mistakes are bigger and more public than others. 

But we are all capable of screwing up.

That is part of what makes us human. 

I think how we handle the aftermath of our mistakes should define our character more than the mistake itself. 

And as humans, we should also be capable of understanding, grace, and forgiveness.

librarianintx

 

Winning quote

 "Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've done before" - Bonnie Blair, professional speed skater

I like this quote. 

I would even take it a step further. 

Winning can mean taking the step to do anything, especially if it's something you haven't done before. 

Winning can mean having the courage to try. 

Making the attempt. 

Seeing something through to its conclusion.

Maybe you didn't win the writing or art contest.

But you signed up for it, you created something, and you submitted that creation.

You didn't win the race. 

But you finished it. 

And maybe you beat your own record. 

That's a win for you.  

Your team didn't win the game.

But you all played hard, you worked together as a team, and you didn't give up.

Winning is a tremendous feeling.

But trying and finishing should feel awesome too. 

librarianintx

Paratransit Survival Kit

It only took me how many years of riding paratransit to think of this?

Too many.

I mean, I always have my phone with me, which has books, music, and games on it.

And sometimes I bring my journal. 

Or a print book.

But today was the first time I brought what I'm calling the "Metro Access Activity Bag."

In a small, easy to carry bag, I put my journal, two pens, earbuds, phone, a word search book, and a box of colored pencils, because the word search book includes pictures to color.

My rides have been so long lately that i want a variety of activities with me to help me pass the time. If I'm too tired to read, or my phone is low on charge, i can journal, color, or do a word search. 

Being engaged is much better than staring at the traffic and the construction, wondering how long the ride will be.

Coloring and writing are a challenge sometimes because the bus can be bumpy. But there's always traffic, red lights, and loading and unloading passengers when the bus isnt moving.

Always trying to look on the bright side.

librarianintx 

The Oscars

I watched a few of the Oscar-nominated movies for this awards season.

But that isn't what I want to talk about. 

I want to vent about the acceptance speeches.

It's a 3 hour show, people.

If there's an important political or societal comment that you want to make - fine.

I'm not opposed to that.

But do it as briefly as possible. 

Be respectful of everyone's time - the viewers, as well as the winners in other categories.

Winners in some of the minor categories were "played off", but Adrian Brody was allowed to keep speaking, taking way more than his alloted time. I understand that winning an Oscar gives you a platform where you can speak out about issues that are important to you.

But other awards were handed out after his category. And the show was already running thirty minutes over.

In fact, Hulu's feed ended before the show was over, so viewers didn't get to see the presentation of the final two awards. 

The person who wins for sound editing or special effects should receive the same time and respect as the people who win the acting awards.

And if you want to speak on a particular topic, realize you might not have time to thank your agent, your parents-in-law, your college roommate, and your fifth grade teacher.

librarianintx

Living a Healthier Lifestyle

It can feel overwhelming sometimes. 

All of the advice and guidelines

Eat the rainbow

Drink 8 glasses of water per day

Get 150 minutes of exercise per week 

Sleep 8 hours

What if you can't achieve all of that?

You might feel defeated. 

Like, why even try

You might procrastinate

Feelings of failure could lead you to make bad choices

I know I can't drink 8 glasses of water per day.

I think my diet is good, but could be improved.

What helps me is to focus on doing the best that I can.

And taking at least small steps to improvement. 

Doing at least ONE extra thing a day can give you a sense of accomplishment. 

And tiny steps are a way that you can build habits.

So I have a goal now.

Do at least one extra thing per day.

Something for my physical health

Something for my mental health 

I started yesterday.

The extra thing was strength training.

Probably spent less than a minute doing it 

But it was something 

And I was proud of myself.

Today I did ten leg lifts on each leg when I was doing my bed exercises.

Took me how long?

Thirty seconds maybe?

But I could feel the stretch.

I am one day into possibly making that part of my routine

Making it a habit

But if not

At least I did it today

Every little bit helps.

librarianintx

In This Political Climate...

My advice if you are in the minority...

And by minority, I mean anyone who is not...

Male 

White

Christian 

Cis

Wealthy

Keep a journal

It doesn't have to be handwritten

There are journaling apps

Some are free

Day One is an example

Some have the ability to upload audio files

If you can't physically type or have a reading or writing disability 

Maybe you don't like writing 

Maybe you think you don't write well

Doesn't matter

Write anyway

Journals are records

Of personal history

And what is happening in the world around us

Journals communicate our:

Thoughts

Emotions

Fears

Failures

Triumphs 

Journals teach future generations:

What we experienced

What we endured

How we survived

They are trying to:

Intimidate us

Silence us

Shame us

Devalue us

In some cases erase us

Your voice

Your accomplishments 

Your humanity

Your essence

Will live on

In your journals

Get to it

librarianintx

Super Bowl Performances - My Thoughts

A LOT of chatter about the Super Bowl - the game and the musical performances 

My thoughts:

The Game:

Whoa

I thought it would be WAY closer.

And I thought KC would win.

The musical performances:

I'll say this:

Just because I don't care for a band or singer / artist doesn't mean they suck or are talentless.

It simply means they aren't my cup of tea.

Lady Gaga:

I adore her.

"Hold My Hand" was an absolutely beautiful, heartfelt ode to anyone who is struggling.

Lauren Daigle:

I don't know her, but I thought her rendition of "America the Beautiful" was lovely. 

Jon Batiste:

I'm a big fan.

I think he's a genius.

I didn't mind the jazz spin on our National Anthem.

I'm not an anthem purist.

He's from New Orleans, performing in New Orleans.

It made sense to me.

His version certainly wasn't disrespectful in any way to me.

Kendrick Lamar:

I don't know his music.

I like some rap, but he's not my cup of tea.

That being said, I don't think he's terrible or talentless.

He's won multiple awards,  including Grammys.

I know his music has messages.

But unfortunately I couldn't understand him most of the time, so I didn't get what he intended to convey.

It's perfectly fine to like what you like, and give props to your favorite artists.

But that doesn't have to mean that what you don't care for is terrible. 

You can be respectful of what others like and value.

One more thing:

I am not a Swifty, but I like Taylor.

I think she is very talented and very generous.

And I think she and Travis are a beautiful couple.

I'm happy for them, and I hope fame doesn't ruin their relationship. 

Now their fashion sense yesterday - that's another story :)

librarianintx 

Elon Musk - Did He or Didn't He?

You be the judge

https://youtu.be/-VfYjPzj1Xw?si=PnVCojiSBwoiqUyh

Was it a Nazi salute?

Was it an homage to Celine Dion singing "My Heart Will Go On"?

Was it an unfortunate gesture made in a moment of unbridled exuberance?

If you are talking strictly mechanics, it is not a Nazi salute. The arm and palm placements are not the same. The Nazi salute does not include a thump on the chest that Elon did.

The problem is, there is mechanics...and then there is intention.

It also matters what you do and what you say in the face of such a controversy.

He has not offered an explanation. 

He has not apologized.

He has done nothing to dampen the firestorm.

If anything, he has poured gasoline on the inferno.

He has posted tweets making puns about the Holocaust. 

He also alleged that Taylor Swift has made gestures that resembled Nazi salutes.

Joking about the Holocaust - never okay

Period

Since he hasn't offered any kind of explanation, we can't know motive or intention.

From what he has tweeted post incident, we're also not seeing any signs of concern or remorse.

How he is handling the fallout speaks to me louder than the gesture itself.

librarianintx

"Just put on an extra sweater"

People who tell me that don't know enough about me. 

So I am here to educate. 

Many people with neuromuscular diseases are cold intolerant. 

But unfortunately, but with limited physical abilities, including arm movements, wearing extra layers of clothing can make moving even more difficult, if not impossible. 

This morning it had snowed a little, so I wanted to go outside. 

I put on a thermal undershirt, long sleeved turtleneck, zip up fleece jacket, and a puffer jacket. Getting the puffer jacket on over the other layers was difficult, but I made it. But even without the jacket, wearing the other layers made it hard for me to raise my arms to reach things, carry things or comb my hair. Not just difficulty moving my arms; my shoulders feel heavy too.

Today I chose warmth over ease of movement. 

But I could make that choice because I didn't have to go anywhere. 

I didn't have to worry about how my hair looked.

I didn't have to get on a bus or reach the elevator buttons or assemble packets of resources at work. 

So just keep that in mind the next time you see that I'm cold, or that I say I'm cold.

Decisions aren't easy.

Solutions sometimes result in problems. 

But we do the best we can. 

librarianintx

 

 

"Storytelling is a Powerful Form of Advocacy"

The title of this post is a quote from Shane and Hannah's new book interabled. 

The book includes stories from their dating and married life, as well as interviews of other interabled couples. 

Representation matters.

Visibility matters.

And storytelling can come in various forms -

Videos / reels on social media

Books / articles

Blogs / web sites

Movies and television - including acting, writing, producing, and directing

If you are part of a marginalized group and want to see that group represented in society (and represented accurately!), then be an agent of change. 

Make it happen.

Be an actor

Be a writer

Be an illustrator

Be an influencer

Be a public speaker

Start a non-profit 

Use your voice

Be visible

A spoiler from the book:

One of the interabled couples is a husband and wife who are Orthodox Jews.

Orthodox Jews usually find spouses through a matchmaker.

The husband had a difficult time with this process, because as a person with a disability he was not treated as high quality husband or father material.

In order to educate the population and make the process easier for people with disabilities, the husband and wife have both become matchmakers in their community. 

That is how you enact change.

You experience a problem.

And then you become part of the solution.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi

Words to Live By

"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy."

A singer known as Nightbirde uttered this amazing phrase during her performance on "America's Got Talent." 

She was dealing with cancer at the time, and has since passed away. 

Life can be hard. Harder for some than others. Finding light in the darkness can be uplifting, empowering. 

For me, gratitude is that beacon. Even on the most challenging days, finding at least one thing to be grateful for gives me hope and a feeling of satisfaction. 

Goals are important.

They give meaning and purpose to your life.

But don't wait for those achievements to be happy.

"You will get there. Until then, be here. This moment matters."

librarianintx 

Favorite Books from 2024

 I read 36 books in 2024.

I am only in competition with myself when it comes to how much I read.

I have friends who read many more books than I do. 

I was in a reading slump for part of last year. 

I hate reading slumps. 

When I am enjoying a book so much that I don't want to put it down, that is a happy place for me. 

Here are my favorite titles from last year:

"I Will Always Write Back" by Martin Ganda and Caitlin Alifirenka: The true story of two middle schoolers, one from the Midwest and the other from Zimbabwe, who began a lifelong friendship as pen pals.

"The Goldie Standard" by Simi Monheit - a Jewish grandmother is on a mission to marry off her granddaughter to a 'nice Jewish doctor' 

"Have a Little Faith: A True Story" Mitch Albom - Mitch connects with his childhood rabbi and an African American pastor and learns about faith and connection

I also found two new authors to like:

Carolyn Meyer - YA historical fiction

John Glatt - true crime

librarianintx

Great Quote for the New Year

We have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but today is overflowing with potential.

Allan Lokos

A great quote to remind us to be present and live in the moment. 

Living in the future can lead to anxiety, worry, and feeling overwhelmed. 

Live for today.

Live fully.

Happy 2025!

librarianintx 

Home

I moved four times during the first ten years of my life.

Orlando to Sherman

Sherman to Corpus Christi

Corpus Christi to San Antonio 

And then San Antonio to Houston.

After that, we moved three more times in Houston, from an apartment to a rented townhouse, and then finally to a townhouse that Mom purchased. 

This townhouse has been my home since I was fifteen years old.

So many memories, good and bad.

Recovering from multiple surgeries. 

Homebound school programs

Raising my dog Kasha

Proms

High school and undergraduate graduations

Getting ready for my sister's wedding

Even though I left to attend graduate school and then stayed in that city, the townhouse, and Houston,  has still been home. I came home often for weekends and for holidays. I often brought friends with me. Mom was always happy to have people visit. She was proud of her townhouse, and her patio of plants and roses.

Yesterday was my last night in the room that's been mine since I was fifteen years old. My last time making it up and down the stairs. My last time getting ready in my bathroom. My last time getting clothes from my walk in closet.

I have been extremely fortunate to have a room and a home to return to for so many years.

Now my mother is beginning a new life. She will have socialization and recreation, and she'll be closer to her family. It is a huge change. I have lived in the house for many years. And I have returned to that house. But it has been her house - for nearly forty years.

The only constant in life is change. Change can be sad. 

It can be scary.

But it can also be exciting. 

And wonderful.

I hope the next family has years of good times in Mom's townhouse. 

Survivor Season 47 Finale: My Thoughts (Spoilers)

But really how much of a spoiler is it? :)

Congrats Rachel!

Rachel dominated the last few weeks of the season, winning immunity challenges and leading the way to eliminate two strong players: Andy and Genevieve. She played her idol in a memorable tribal council when everyone but Sue was planning her ouster. She won the final immunity challenge, rewarded Sue's loyalty, and was able to sit back and relax as Teeny and Sam battled in the fire making challenge. Well, no one was able to relax during that. It was a nail biter!

Anyway, Rachel deserved to win. She became the fifth woman in Survivor history to win four individual immunity challenges. Sam tried hard to make his case to the jury, but for me he came across as condescending and too aggressive. He gave Rachel her props after she won, but during the interrogation he downplayed the importance of winning challenges. Of course he did, because he didn't win anything, except the fire making challenge. Getting to the finale doesn't mean that you deserve to be there, or that you deserve to win. 

Speaking of props, I want to express my admiration for both Sue and Teeny. No, they didn't win. But Sue won a challenge, almost won others, found an idol, was loyal, and that loyalty got her to the end. Teeny lost the fire making challenge, but I blame the wind, not her ability to keep the fire going. She should be proud of what she accomplished. And yes, Sam should be proud for not giving up, on himself or the fire he created. 

I also want to say that even though I was not a fan of Andy's or Genevieve's, I appreciated how strong and hard they played. They were fun to watch. 

And finally, a shout out to the men I was rooting for and mourned as each one was sent packing: Sol, Gabe, and Kyle. 

Looking forward to Season 48!

librarianintx

DWTS Finale: My Thoughts

 Yes, its been weeks. 

Oops.

Anyway, congratulations to Joey and Jenna on winning the season!

Overall, I wasn't a huge fan of the freestyles this season. 

Stephen and Riley's was my favorite, and the most memorable IMO. Joey and Jenna's was second for me. 

I thought Chandler and Brandon would win, and I'm sad for them that they came in third, although I'm happy for Ilona and Alan that they were runners up. 

As always, I love this show, and thoroughly enjoyed this season. 

I love witnessing the journeys and seeing the growth, as individuals, and as dancers.

Maybe next time I'll have to time to blog every episode. 

Until next season Dance Fans!

librarianintx

DWTS Finale: Who Will Win?

The finale starts in less 30 minutes, Dance Fans!

Who's excited?

I am very happy for the opportunity to watch tonight in person with my fellow DWTS fan, my Mom! 

For me,  only two contestants deserve to win the Len Goodman Mirrorball Trophy: Chandler or Joey. I will be happy if either comes in first.

Having said that, I'm also so pleased that Ilona is in the finale. 

These couples are some of the best pairings the show has ever had. I can't wait for the freestyle round!

Enjoy the show!

librarianintx 

DWTS Semi Final Part 2

Chandler & Brandon 

Foxtrot

OMG that looked SO professional!

Very sexy too!!

Intense indeed

Absolutely amazing

Her confidence is off the chart.

Yes, Carrie Ann, I saw her feet too.

I understand that you will give her a 9 because of that, but she deserves a 10, in my completely unprofessional opinion.

Scores: 9, 10, 10

Joey & Jenna

Paso Doble

Look out Chandler, here comes Joey!

His musicality is so amazing!

The choreography was perfect for the music

I agree with Derek. 

But Carrie Ann and Bruno are professionals too, so....

Scores: 9, 10, 9

Yay Derek!

Ilona & Alan

Viennese Waltz 

This partnership makes me cry tears of joy

Does she belong in the finale?

I don't know.

But my goodness how far she has come.

I feel honored too Carrie Ann.

I love you Ilona.

And I love you and Alan.

Ilona IS DWTS, finale or no finale

Scores: 10, 9, 10

Stephen & Riley

Tango

There were a few good moments, but the timing felt off to me.

Like the music was fast but they were moving slow.

Ok, I get it, they had an ocular wardrobe malfunction. 

Scores: 10, 9, 9

Huh. Okay. This is why I'm not a judge.

Danny & Witney 

Salsa

Okay the tricks were exciting. 

Definitely 

But where was Danny's dancing?

Where was the hip action?

Where was the Salsa content?

I think Witney makes him look better than he is, when it comes to the actual dancing.

Scores: 9, 9, 9

Maybe all 5 will make it to the finale?

Probably not.

I can't predict.

Eliminated: NO ONE!

Not 100% surprised, but 100% happy.

Ilona, you made it!!

librarianintx

DWTS Semi Finals Part 1

I'm back Dance Fans!

Trying to live blog (and multi task!)

We'll see how it goes.

Part One

Chandler & Brandon

Salsa

To quote Mary Murphy on SYTYD:

You get TWO FIRST CLASS TICKETS ON THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN.

That was a spicy routine, and I agree with Carrie Ann that there is a freedom and confidence in Chandler's dancing that she has cultivated during the season. 

But I also agree with Derek that it had more Cha Cha content than Salsa.

But still HOT.

Scores: 10, 9, 10

Joey & Jenna

It was a proper, professional looking Foxtrot.

Such amazing musicality and ease of movement 

I absolutely loved it.

Hollywood glamor.

But I do have to channel Len for a minute: They wasted time at the beginning of the dance.

Scores: 10, 10, 10

Ilona & Alan

Paso Doble

It had power, attack, conviction

She commanded that stage, and held her own against those professional dancers

Absolutely agree with Carrie Ann - She has had the biggest transformation and I am so glad she made it to the semi-finals!

Scores: 9, 10, 9

Danny & Witney

Viennese Waltz 

I'm sorry, but for me, that was not Danny's best dance.

The judges love him, but a VW requires flow and lightness, and Danny looked hesitant and a little clunky to me.

The choreography was beautiful and his partnering skills are strong, but the movement wasn't his best.

Scores: 9, 9, 9

Stephen & Riley

Cha cha

He's so adorable!

But his timing was off and he was clearly nervous.

He tried, but Latin dance is not his thing, at least not this time.

I love his attitude though!

Scores: 8, 8, 9

I'm going to post this so it doesn't potentially get erased.

librarianintx

DWTS Halloween Nite

Good evening Spooky Dance Fans!

Here's another attempt at live blogging.

Ilona & Alan

Tango

Can we talk about HOT she looked!

Wow

Looked like a proper Tango to me.

Rawr! Get it girl!

Scores: 8, 8, 8

Dwight & Daniella

Contemporary 

Boy was he in character!

So creepy good and intense

But was this more Daniella dancing and acting more than Dwight?

Anyway, I thought it was super

Gave me chills 

Lots of trust in this partnership 

I love them and I'm so happy for them.

Scores: 10, 9, 9

Danny & Witney

Argentine Tango

Seemed a little rushed, stumbly in the beginning,  but then it was fantastic! 

Tricks were outrageous.

He's such a strong partner.

Scores: 10, 9, 9

Sorry, but I think Carrie Ann missed the beginning of the dance. 

Jenn & Sasha

Contemporary 

It was good, intense

The extra dancers at the end were distracting and unnecessary (I haven't complained about that in awhile)

But really, they didn't add anything. 

Sasha and Jenn created the drama with their dancing and acting.

It should have been the two of them at the end.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Scores: 10, 9, 9

Wow, Carrie Ann is happy tonight. :)

Joey & Jenna

Argentine Tango

Scary hayride - nope

Great choreography and musicality!

Super good acting

They have amazing chemistry too

The music went so well with the dance

Scores: 10, 9, 10

Stephen & Riley

Contemporary 

Amazing intensity and athleticism!

Sweet little Stephen turned into a monster!

So dramatic, he was actually a little too convincing, but in a good way, if that makes sense

His best dance!

Scores: 10, 9, 9

Chandler & Brandon

Viennese Waltz

She is exquisite 

And fiery and passionate

Wonderful musicality

Beautiful and freaky

To me it looked like a dance from two professionals

Scores: 9, 10, 10

Carrie Ann: WTH?

Dance offs

Dwight & Daniella vs Ilona & Alan

Cha cha

Damn

That was a tie for me

Both had great technique and fun

I can't choose

Winner: Dwight & Daniella 

Jenn & Sasha vs Stephen & Riley

Salsa

I gotta give it to Stephen and Riley

They were exciting out of the gate and that was twirl lift was the bomb!

Winner: Jenn & Sasha

I respectfully disagree

Danny & Witney vs Joey & Jenna

Jive

Almost a tie, but I give the edge to Joey & Jenna

Winner: Joey & Jenna

Eliminated:Jenn & Sasha

This was a fantastic night.

All of the dances were first rate. 

Congratulations to all!

librarianintx