Big Brother Finale - My Thoughts

Karma bit two players in the butt on Wednesday night's finale, but one of them went home with nothing, and the other won the half million dollar prize.

Michie walked out of the house to the confetti spray that he dreamed of and worked so hard for, but it was a bittersweet win. Allegations of racism and mistreatment of female houseguests aired during the live finale really seemed to rattle him. He maintained his innocence while attempting to apologize. He looked genuinely shocked, and very worried. Michie believes he is a good man, a momma's boy that was raised right. And maybe he was, and is. But he played an aggressive game. He manipulated people. He outright lied about Tommy and was so forceful about it that Nicole and Cliff ultimately decided to evict Tommy. His lie brought the effusive and cheerful Tommy to tears, and was one of the saddest moments I have witnessed on Big Brother.

So yes, Michie won, and it should have been a glorious moment for him. But he actually looked crestfallen as he walked out of the house. I believe I even detected some boos after his name was announced. Maybe the money will ultimately sooth any residual regrets about how he acted in the Big Brother house and what an ugly game he played.

Karma also got to houseguest Bella, whose seemingly strong showmance with Nick blew up in her face when Nick hooked up with Kat in the jury house. Bella was also a very aggressive player who bullied Nicole before she was evicted. I would never wish such betrayal and embarrassment on anyone, but the way she treated Nicole was unforgivable, and almost made and my friends stop watching the show.

The saving grace of last night's finale was the fact that my three favorite houseguests: Cliff, Tommy, and Nicole were the top three people up for America's favorite houseguest. All three are good people who played honest games, and I would have been thrilled to see any of them take home the $25,000 prize. I am absolutely overjoyed for Nicole.

I enjoy the show, but the blatant racism and bullying that went on this season made it tough to watch. I had been so happy to see five racially diverse people on the show this year: David, Obi, Kemi, Jessica, and Bella. Unfortunately, only Jessica made it to the jury.

librarinintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 9/26/19

UGH!!!

I'm in the bathroom this morning getting ready, and there's a knock at the door - at 6:30 am, fifteen minutes before my ride window opened. I don't think drivers should be allowed to do that. Fifteen minutes is really early. I don't have to be ready then, so why knock on the door? It's stressful knowing that the driver is already there and waiting. And do they not think about the fact that there may be other people living in the residence who could be disturbed by the knocking? Sometimes my roommate is up by then. Sometimes he's even out the door by then. But not this morning.

Usually I don't get stressed by my rides anymore, but the knocking on the door so early made me feel rushed and anxious. It would have been the driver's fault if he had left before my time, but I was worried he would do that, especially since I didn't respond to his knock. But I was out the door a few minutes early, and in the vehicle by 6:45. It all worked out, but I didn't need the added stress.

librarianintx

So You Think You Can Dance Season 16 - Final thoughts

I know, I'm a week late to the party, but I just wanted to say that season 16 was short, but thoroughly enjoyable, with some EXCELLENT dancers, routines, and choreographers.

I thought everyone in the top 10 was exceptional, with one exception, which I don't feel the need to name. The top 4 was not who I would have chosen - my top 4 would have been Stephanie, Ezra, Mariah, and Bailey. But that doesn't mean that I think Gino and Sophie didn't deserve to be there, because they did. Remember, we're talking American's FAVORITE dancer, not America's BEST dancer. If the latter were the case, Gino should have won. He was arguably the best technical dancer. Personally, I am absolutely thrilled for Bailey. I didn't vote at all this season, but either he or Mariah were my picks to win. They were the most exciting couple by far this season, and possibly one of the greatest couples the show has ever seen. They tore up every single routine handed to them. Ray Leeper's "Need You Tonight" jazz dance has become one of my favorite routines of all time on the show.

So a big congratulations to the first B-Boy winner of So You Think You Can Dance! And a thank you to the incredible dancers who restored my interest and enjoyment in the show this summer. You all put every bit of yourselves into every routine, and I hope you all have long and successful careers in the entertainment business.

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 8/30/19

Think fifteen minutes isn't enough time to get anything done?

Lately I have had the same driver on Fridays, and he usually arrives in the middle of my ride window, which is around 7 am.

So even though I understand that I COULD have a different driver, and he/she COULD arrive earlier, I decided to take a chance and do a few chores instead of standing outside and doing nothing.

Here is what I accomplished in about fifteen minutes:

1) gathered towels and socks together for laundry later

2) turned up the thermostat

3) made half a cheese sandwich (usually I get my food ready the night before, but I remembered I only had a half sandwich left over from yesterday)

4) changed out my phone cases (I carried a turquoise-colored case yesterday to match my shirt. Today's shirt was blue, so I switched to a blue case)

5) changed out my purse (I don't have a turquoise-colored purse (gasp!) so I carried a beige purse yesterday. I switched to a blue purse for today)

6) added a blue pen to my purse

7) went to the bathroom again

And I was still outside for a few minutes before my ride pulled up. Surprisingly, I did have a different driver. But he was on a similar schedule to my usual Friday driver.

I need to make rice today, but I didn't have enough time to do that. Even if I had, my OCD would have made me obsess if I remembered to turn the stove off. So I'm fortunate I didn't attempt that chore.

librarianintx

So You Think You Can Dance Season 16

I'm not planning to recap this season of So You Think You Can Dance. To be honest, I haven't been super interested in this season. I watched the auditions and the Academy, and I liked the episodes, but that was about it. I didn't feel invested in or connected to any of the dancers. I wasn't rooting for anyone in particular.

I thought the first episode of the competition was good, but night two was WAY better. Every dance on night two was terrific! I'm enjoying the new format of the show - so far there was just one dance from every couple, with no solos, so each episode was only an hour long. I like that better than two hours of multiple dances, solos, filler, etc. I'm hoping this format will continue through this undoubtedly short season.

On nite one the standout dances / performances for me were Ezra and Madison's contemporary and Bailey and Mariah's B-52's inspired jazz routine. Anna and Benjamin's ballroom number was also a hit with me. But Stephanie and Gino's Luther Brown hip hop dance left me cold (if you saw the routine you would get the double meaning there). And I didn't like anything about Eddie and Sophie's dance - the costumes were ridiculous, the premise was silly; it did not work for me at all.

But nite two - as Mary Murphy would say, "Holy Smokes!" All the routines were fantastic, and the dancers were on fire!! These kids are in it to win it! I am also amazed at the connections that have developed so quickly with these partnerships.

I'm going to briefly go through each dance.

1) Stephanie and Gino
What a terrific beginning to the show! This Emma and Sasha Jive routine was fire from start to finish! It was lightening fast, technical, great musicality, with a lot of fun, cheeky moments. Stephanie was in her element, so I knew she'd be good, but Gino was a revelation in this dance! Personality out the ying yang, and as Nigel said, some of the best kicks and flicks the show has seen since Benji Schwimmer, also known as the King of Swing. High praise for a contemporary dancer.

2) Sophie and Eddie
This duo drew a Travis Wall contemporary routine, and Travis Wall dances never disappoint. For me, Eddie is the weakest dancer of the competition, so I must admit I was nervous for Sophie's safety with all the lifts and throws and everything. But Eddie stepped up and protected his partner, and the result was a beautiful, powerful, poignant routine.

3) Anna and Benjamin
This Randi and Hef hip hop number was my least favorite of nite two, but still enjoyable. While on nite one I could not take my eyes off of Benjamin during their ballroom routine (and can anyone blame me for oggling the boy with the open shirt and beautiful hair?), in this hip hop dance my eyes were on Anna, and she did not disappoint. Laurieann thought she wasn't strong enough, and she's a choreographer, but I thought Anna did a great job. As much as I was watching Benjamin during night one, I appreciated the fact that hip hop girl Anna held her own in the ballroom routine, and looked like she was actually enjoying a partner dance in a dress and heels.

4) Madison and Ezra
Holy cow. This Ray Leeper jazz routine can be summed up in one word: S-E-X-Y. I know Madison is comfortable with her alopecia, but it seemed like performing in that hat with her skimpy little outfit turned her into a real vixen. Her chemistry with Ezra was OFF THE CHARTS. I hope her boyfriend isn't jealous. Maybe she was thinking of him when she bent Ezra's head back and ran her hand down his bare chest. RAWR. I agree with Nigel yet again - Bob Fosse would have loved that routine, and specifically Madison in that routine.

5) Mariah and Bailey
The night began with a bang, and ended with a bang, when these two blew the roof off the place with a Luther Brown hip hop routine. They deserved the audience, the choreographers, and the judges losing their shit over this dance - it was LIT!! They were down and dirty, in the pocket, twerking, humping a motorcycle, this dance had it all. Like with the first routine of the night, you knew b boy Bailey would do well in this routine, but contemporary girl Mariah KILLED this dance. With her bob wig and clad in a form fitting bodysuit, Mariah was ready to be cast in any hip hop music video. This was my favorite hip hop number since Nappy Tab's "Hotel" dance with Fik-shun and Amy.

Nite two of the performance shows has restored my interest and enjoyment of So You Think You Can Dance. I hope this level of dancing, choreography, and connection among the partners continues for the rest of the season.

librarianintx


 

Automatic door opener

I go to the bathroom several times a day at work - at least three or four. TMI, but there's a reason why I mention this. I have worked at the library for nearly twenty years, and the door to the fourth floor women's restroom has been problematic for awhile - it's not easy to push it when walking in, or pull it when leaving. I'm also germ phobic so I either push or pull on the door while using a paper towel or with my hand inside my jacket sleeve, which makes the process more complicated.

Anyway, this week the library installed automatic doors on the fourth floor restrooms. Now all I have to do is press a button, and tada, the door opens! The struggle is over! :) I never thought to request an automatic door, because I can physically open it, it's just hard to do. Now that the automatic door opener is in place, I'm so happy! I don't have to throw my weight into the door when I'm entering, and pull and tug when I'm leaving. I also don't have to worry that someone is going to open the door and knock into me while I'm struggling to enter or exit.

As relieved as I am, I also realize that opening the bathroom door was a form of exercise for my arms, so I need to devise other ways to keep my arm muscles working. I have one pound hand weights at home, but I rarely use them. I require new motivation now that needing to go to the bathroom is no longer a factor. :)

librarianintx

Health scare

In the grand scheme of life, my health scare was tame. I never had any symptoms, which I reminded myself constantly during the process in an attempt to calm my overactive worrying.

What happened to me makes the case for consistent health monitoring, even if you feel fine. A routine full workup showed a high level of potassium in my blood. A false positive for potassium can occur, so the test was repeated. When the second results still came back high, I was put on a low potassium diet.

I knew that bananas, potatoes, Gatorade, and juice are high in potassium, so I had already eliminated those items from my diet. But I had no idea that nearly everything I consume is high in potassium! Beans, tomato products, avocado, tofu, yogurt, milk, chocolate - I had to cut out all of these foods. What was I going to eat? It was an overwhelming process at first, but then I made adjustments. I've spent the past few weeks eating a lot of stir fry, macaroni and cheese, cottage cheese, and corn chips. Giving up chocolate, milk, potato chips, and Gatorade were the toughest parts of the diet. Eating out and at other people's houses was especially rough. I ate a lot of Chinese food.

The diet was hard, but the not knowing what was going on was even more difficult. High potassium in the blood can lead to heart issues, so I requested a EKG, which was normal, thank goodness. After the third high reading, my internist sent me to a kidney specialist, which made me very nervous, but my other blood work was so normal that neither doctor suspected kidney problems. There was a possibility that I had Addison's Disease, an adrenal gland disorder, but again, I wasn't having any symptoms that would point to that.

In the end, the cause was apparently simple and easy to remedy. I didn't have Addison's Disease or any problems with my kidneys. I was just eating too many potassium-rich foods coupled with chronic mild dehydration. After a few weeks of the low potassium diet and a concerted effort to increase my daily fluid intake, my potassium level has returned to the normal, although high normal, range. I'll have another blood draw in two weeks.

I thought I was eating relatively healthy. And I was. But too much of a good thing often isn't beneficial, and can be harmful.

So even if you feel good and you don't suspect any problems, get a yearly check-up including fasting blood work. Always better to be safe.

The one humorous moment of this situation was when the nurse was going through the list of foods I couldn't eat. He said, "no brussel sprouts," and I replied quickly, "No problem there!" I am NOT a consumer of brussel sprouts. 

Here's a short list of potassium-rich foods:
potatoes
sweet potatoes
bananas
melons
spinach
avocado
tomato products
juice, especially orange juice
beans
nuts
broccoli
brussel sprouts
milk
yogurt
chocolate
tofu

librarianintx



 

"Be on Time Chronicles" 7/25/19

I don't want to give the impression that every Metro Access ride is terrible.

I tend to blog about the bad ones because they stand out.
They are upsetting, frustrating, often caused by poor scheduling and not through the fault of the driver.

Even when a ride is bad, I try to find some humor in the situation.

I haven't told the story of what happened last Thursday.

But before I do, I'll talk about this morning's ride.

I stumbled out to the van, barely ready and still feeling half asleep. I was also having allergy issues, and had to constantly wipe my eyes and nose (TMI?)

But the driver was so entertaining that I soon pepped up and was giggling most of the day to work.

I don't know if he was high on life, or had ingested a lot of coffee, but he was chattering away on a variety of topics.

Mainly he was talking about the possibility of life on other planets.
What the aliens might look like, and how they would react to humans.

We also talked about personal phobias - like heights - and shaking our heads at people who do crazy things like take selfies at the edge of cliffs and engage with wild animals and then have to run for their lives.

He told the story of encountering a bobcat (yes, a real one) when he was picking up a passenger at an apartment complex off of Far West Blvd. I have heard on the news about a bobcat in that area, so I believe he's telling the truth that he saw one, although parts of the tale have been embellished, as you will soon see.

Regardless, he was SO funny telling the story!
"I had a big ole' bobcat wrapping itself around my feet, and then a Bambi wandered up to me, and asked, "Yo, you know you got a bobcat hangin' 'round yo feet?"

He said, "If Metro wants me to quit, they will send me back to that address. 'Cause I ain't goin'. Maybe I'd go during daylight, when I can see what's comin' at me. But I ain't goin' at no six a.m. ever again. Uh-uh. No way. I value my life. They can find someone else to do that."

I enjoyed the ride, and it felt good to arrive at work in a better frame of mind than when I entered the vehicle. 

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 7/23/19

My first time blogging a ride as it's happening.

I'm doing this to keep myself sane.

Non-Austin peeps, take a nap.
This won't make sense.

ATX in the house?
Okay.

I got picked up from the HEB at Parmer & I35. I always shop there. Because I live ONE mile from there.

We are heading east on Parmer. I tell the driver, "Oh that's my street" as he's passing it.

He says, "I have another pick up."

Okay, I think. That's happened before.
Ten minutes maybe.

A pick up, and then I'll go home.

Uh-huh.

Not even close.

The pick up was on Dessau.

We dropped the guy off at the Embassy Suites on 290!

Yeah, I know. Utterly ridiculous!

But wait, it gets better.

Their reasoning, such as it was, was made clear when the driver clarified where he was taking me.

HE WAS TAKING ME BACK TO WORK DOWNTOWN!!!

I'm going back to work?
With groceries?
At 5 in the afternoon?
After I told the driver that I live a mile from the grocery store?
Does this make sense to anyone?

I could not make this shit up if I tried.

I got picked up from HEB at 5:07 pm.

I will likely get home about 6:15.

Oh, and my pick up from work was 2:30. I arrived at HEB at 4:15.

Frustrating beyond belief.

Three and a half hours for a trip to the grocery store. Because of their mistake.
If the driver had told me where he was taking me I could have MAYBE kept myself from having to ride around for this past HOUR!

Maddening

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 7/16/19

Something interesting and helpful happened this morning.

My driver knocked on my door at 6:40. My ride window opens at 6:45. I was scurrying around as usual, packing my lunch bag, putting on my work badge and jacket, etc. I opened the door, expecting him to say he knew he was early but he wanted me to know that he was there whenever I was ready. But he said something different.

"The guy we are picking up goes to a place that doesn't open until 8 am. So how about if you come out at the end of your window - around 7:15. That way we won't have to sit and wait for the place to open."

Sweet! I thought I had five minutes to finish getting ready. Now I had THIRTY FIVE minutes to do whatever I wanted. I don't know that this has ever happened in the two plus decades that I have been riding Metro Access.

I could have read, or looked at Facebook, but I decided to get a few chores done. I got my laundry ready for this afternoon. I put yesterday's clean laundry away. I readied work attire for tomorrow and Thursday. I caught up on my daily journal. All things I won't have to do when I get home. I could have had time for a proper breakfast, but I didn't do that.

It was so nice of the driver to give me that extra time, and not make me wait in the van.

I still had a long ride. I didn't get to work until 8:20. But it felt good to get a few chores done, and not feel like I was sitting around wasting time because of a poor schedule.

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 7/11/19

It's something that happens to everyone at times in their life.
I'm very fortunate that I haven't faced this situation in years.

I overslept this morning.

My first alarm goes off at 5:40 a.m.
The second alarm is supposed to chime at 5:45.
I either didn't set the second alarm, or I somehow turned it off during the night.

I woke up at 6:13.
My ride window opens at 6:45.

So I had to assess the situation very quickly while still half asleep.
Do I try to make it?
Do I decide to take my time and pay for a ride share to work?
Do I say forget it and take the day off?

I chose to make a run for it.

Not showering was not an option.
I could not go to work with bed head and a bed body.
I took the quickest shower known to man, including an incredibly fast hair wash.

Thank goodness I had clothes and jewelry ready in the bathroom.
All I needed to do was find shoes.

I walked out the door at 6:45, feeling thankful and relatively put together.

The vehicle was parked outside.

Whew! I did it!
It wasn't a pleasant experience, but I'm glad I made it.

Hopefully this won't happen again for awhile.
But I survived it. 

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 7/3/19

Over the years of riding Metro Access, I have fellow passengers that I journey with frequently. Some people I see every week; then I don't see them for months at a time.

This morning I rode with Maria (not her real name). Maria is one of those frequent / infrequent fellow riders. For awhile we were riding together every Wednesday. Then I didn't see her for a few months.

We rode together this morning. And she had big news to share. She is moving to Illinois at the end of the month. I saw a "for sale" sign in front of her house when we pulled up.

Maria is blind and has an intellectual disability. Trips with her are never dull. She asks questions at a rapid fire pace that run the gamut of topics. Amid the questions she will give you a glimpse into her life. I know a few facts about her. Her family is from Illinois. Her mother died a number of years ago. She lived with her father until he passed away about two years ago. Now she lives with her brother. She has another brother who lives in another state. The second brother got married a few months ago.

Here is a typical "conversation" with Maria. She likes to ask questions, but she doesn't always like to answer them. She also enjoys interjecting some exclamations and Spanish into the "conversations."

"Do you like the Hallmark channel?"
"Do you like ravioli? How do you cook ravioli?"
"My mom died."
"Do you like Valentine's Day?"
"There's snow sometimes in Illinois."
"BOO!"
"What year were you born?"
"Do you like mosquitoes?"
"Como estas?"
"I have a fan in my room."
"Do you like tamales?"
"I love you."

And the questions keep coming. Sometimes she'll pause in the stream to mutter to herself. If we stop to pick up or drop off other people, she will get antsy.

"Are we going yet?"
"Are we ready to leave?"
"Have to wait, not ready to go yet."

Today I asked her about her impending move, and she responded. We had an actual conversation. I told her she will be missed at the day programs she attends.

I will miss talking to Maria.
I hope she likes living in Illinois.

librarianintx

Having to Cancel

Yesterday I had planned to go to the True Crime Book Club at the Austin Public Library. I started going about a year ago with a co-worker and one of her friends. The meeting is at 6:30, so I go in to work late that day, then the three of us grab a quick dinner and attend the club. I haven't been able to go every month, but I think I've been about half a dozen times, and I enjoy it. It's wonderful for me to have this social opportunity.

I have a very busy week scheduled. In addition to book club, I have a friend's birthday party on Thursday night, and another friend's choir concert on Saturday night. Going out on two weeknights in one week is extremely rare for me. Plus I'm going out of town next week for July 4th. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and over-scheduled, although again I'm so pleased for the opportunities.

So yesterday I was tired and my ears were acting up and I couldn't decide if I should go to book club or not. I struggled with the decision. I wanted to go and I thought I could make it if I just pushed through. But that didn't feel like a good idea. If I was overwhelmed and needed to cut back on my schedule, book club was the best event for me to eliminate. I had not read the book. If I didn't go, I could get home and get more organized for the rest of the week. There is a book club every month. Yes, I had missed the last two, and that was unfortunate. But hopefully I could make it to the next one.

But I just hate canceling. Especially the day of an event. It is important to me to honor my commitments. To go when I say I am going to go. I have this weird fear that if I cancel once, then I'll start canceling every time. And I don't want the people in my life to see me as inconsistent. I'm afraid they will stop inviting me to events because I cancel too much. I hate missing opportunities to spend time with people and do fun things. I want even more of that in my life, not less. I have been proud of the fact that lately I have had the ability to be more social and say yes more when people extend an invitation.

So I waffled. I weighed the pros and cons. I struggled with what to do. My indecision likely added to my fatigue and slight malaise. Finally, I decided not to go. I still feel disappointed today. I can't completely say it was the right choice. Part of me still wanted to push through and go. I did get somewhat organized when I went home, but I couldn't do everything. I feel somewhat better physically today, but not as much as I hoped.

Still, all I can do is take life one day at a time and do the best I can. Do what I can do, and be understanding with myself when I have to change plans or cancel, even the day of. Beating myself up internally isn't going to help my physical or emotional health. I have made much progress in being kind to myself and learning to make decisions that affect my well-being in positive ways. How I'm treating myself today about what transpired yesterday is just a tiny slip backwards. I'll get back on track.

librarianintx

A Silly Tale of a Non-Matching Phone Case

My ensemble for Thursday:
black shirt
black and gray pinstripe capris
black shoes
black and silver jewelry
black purse

All is right with with the world.

But I don't have a black phone case.
So I used a case that is black with various shades of pink.
Close enough

But sometime between being in the van and getting to work, I had a revelation.
AARRGGHH!
I have a gray phone case!
That would have matched my outfit much better.

Is the matching thing getting out of hand?

All morning at work when I looked at my phone, my every thought was, "wrong case!"

Friday's outfit:
blue jeans
blue socks and shoes
blue jacket
dark green shirt
dark green phone case
new dark green purse

Much better.

No phone case dilemma today.

librarianintx

Television Festival

This was the 8th season for Austin's ATX TV Festival, a four day celebration of television - screenings of new shows, reunions of former shows, and panel discussions about various topics. This was my first season to go, and even though I was super excited, I also worried and obsessed for weeks too. Because that's what I do.

This was going to be a challenge for me. Walking to different venues downtown. Getting downtown every day and getting home at night. Standing in line for events. Having time to eat. Finding places to eat. Making sure I stayed hydrated, but also dealing with my small, schizophrenic bladder. Keeping myself protected from the sun. Trying not to carry too much stuff. My emotions went up and down during the weeks prior to the festival.

I won't keep you in suspense. I absolutely LOVED IT! And I handled everything even better than I hoped. First of all, after much hand wringing and procrastination, I sent an e-mail to the organizers and explained my difficulty with standing in lines and dealing with the heat. I received a prompt and cheerful response. No problem at all, the e-mail said. For every event I attended, I could ask a volunteer to let me speak with the theater manager. They would give me a line card number, then let me come inside and sit down in the lobby until people were allowed in for the event. So that issue was resolved, and their instructions worked perfectly every time. No one gave me a hard time or questioned me. I had a copy of the e-mail just in case, but I never needed it.

As for the eating concern, one of the theaters served food at their events, and I was at that theater every afternoon. Problem solved once again. I ate yummy, filling grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries. For dinner I ate at Chipotle the first two nights, and at Which Which the third night because Chipotle wasn't open. Because of time I had to eat faster than I usually do, but I managed. I had a few snacks with me just in case, but I never needed them.

As for the walking, luckily all the venues were in about five blocks of each other. During the day I went back and forth between Trinity Hall and the Alamo Ritz, which are only one block from each other, so that was super easy. In the afternoon on Thursday and Friday I was able to walk the five blocks to the Paramount and State Theaters for dinner and the evening screenings. On Saturday I took a ride share because of the excessive heat. On Sunday all of my events were in that one block radius, so I didn't have to worry about the heat or the walking. Outside walking can be scary for me because I'm afraid of falling. But I was careful and I wore comfortable shoes. I took my time and didn't rush. My two wonderful friends who were also attending the festival walked with me when we were going to the same events. I have a terrible sense of direction and I got slightly lost once, but I figured it out. I didn't panic. 

It was a long four days. I left the apartment every day around 8:30, and arrived home after 10. On Saturday night my Metro Access bus was involved in an accident, so I didn't get home until after 11, and I had to be up at 6:30 on Sunday. I did it. And I wasn't injured in the accident, so all was well.

I am an avid television viewer. I watch a lot of shows, and there are more I want to see but don't have time for. I've never agreed with people who say that television is a waste of time. Television can make you think. It can make you feel. It can make you dream. You can learn from television.

It was SO awesome to be around a bunch of people who love television as much as I do. There was a such an amazing vibe being at the festival. People were excited, enthusiastic, from day 1 to day 4. And such friendly people! It was easy to strike up conversations while you were waiting for events, even for an introvert like me. Even if you didn't like or watch the same shows, you felt a connection to people. I was in the bathroom of the Alamo Ritz, and a girl was on the phone to a friend, completely fangirling out about the fact that she had just been in the same room with the cast of Archer. I have never watched that show. But I understood her excitement, her joy. It was contagious. Although I wasn't a fan on the level of that girl, I was still quite thrilled to share space with stars like Kevin Bacon, Lou Diamond Philips, Eric Dane, Zendaya, and Phylicia Rashad, among others. Highlights of the festival for me were the Grey's Anatomy and Atypical screenings and panels. But I thoroughly enjoyed all fourteen events that I attended during the four days. I got to see screenings of four new shows: Euphoria, David Makes Man, Prodigal Son, and City on a Hill.

I also attended panel discussions on interesting topics: inclusion and access, older people on television, the refugee crisis. I spoke in three of the sessions, mostly about disability. Little, nervous, back of the room sitter me speaking up in groups - I did it! Talking about issues that are important to me make me braver than I feel. In addition to a love of television, I felt that many of the people at the festival shared my viewpoints about social justice, politics, the importance of representation of minority populations, which just added to the wonderful vibe of the event.

It felt so incredible to not only survive something that I was scared to do, but actually thrive during it. I walked through the anxiety and the result was I had a fantastic four days. I even have some ideas I plan to pitch to the organizers for next year. I would love to actually be involved in planning festival events, but I'm not sure I have time for that. Anyway, I already paid for my badge for next year! Season 9 of ATX TV Fest, here I come!

librarianintx

Physical Therapy

In May, after only about five months, my therapist decided to end my PT. She said she has seen improvement in my strength and balance, and that I was ready to leave, but that I can come back in a few months if I want.

I'm puzzled by this. First of all, and most importantly, I have a neuromuscular disease. I guess small improvements are possible, but I'm not going to "get better." I feel that I need ongoing PT to maintain what strength and balance I have. I also have osteoporosis, so I need to do what I can to prevent falls and fractures. Also, I have a prescription from a doctor that lasts for a year, so I don't think this was an insurance issue.

Can I do most of the exercises at home? Yes, most, but not all. I don't have access to some of the equipment that I used at the therapy center. I don't have a big stationary bike with tension on it. I don't have a balance board. I don't have five pound ankle weights. I could buy them, but they would be heavy for me to use by myself.

I am trying very hard to be motivated and consistent and do my exercises every day, but honestly, that isn't happening. I'm doing at least some of them most days, and I'm giving myself credit for that. But I need to be doing all of them. Every day. And I need to be getting my steps in; I have a goal of at least 3,000 per day. I also want to practice climbing stairs - those are getting tough.

I could find another therapy center, get another prescription from my doctor, but the center I've been going to is a good fit for me - it's affordable, and it's located less than five minutes from my apartment, which helps with my transportation situation.

I have to admit a small part of me is relieved. Therapy days were very long days for me - I had to be ready to leave for work by 6:45 a.m, and I usually arrived home around 5:30 p.m. There were many days when I walked into therapy and wasn't sure I could physically do my work out. But I did. Every single time. I did everything they asked me to do. That made me feel so empowered. Even though I was often tired, hungry, thirsty, and sometimes a little weak after exercising, I also felt strong, proud, energized. Going to therapy also helped me to be more organized. I would prepare food, lay out clothes and jewelry, etc for multiple days in advance so when I got home from therapy I didn't have as much to do to get ready for the next day, or even the day after that.

So my plan is to do what I can on my own during the hot summer, and return to therapy in the fall. I hope I am motivated to go back. I think I will be. Even though I'm not doing all my exercises every day like I should, I still feel committed to the cause. I know I have to do what I can to prevent a worsening of my health, and to maintain what I able to do.

librarianintx

"Be on Time Chronicles" 6/18/19

Yesterday's morning ride was without fault.
I was picked up at the beginning of my window, and transported directly to work.
I arrived at 7:10 a.m. - an hour and twenty minutes early!
Did I make good use of my prompt arrival?
No.
But that's a topic for a different blog post.

The afternoon ride was the kicker.
My ride window opened at 2:30.
I went downstairs and settled into the bench on the library porch.
And I waited.
And waited.

When my window closed at 3 p.m. I called the "Where's My Ride" line.
I was informed that my driver was behind schedule, and I would not be picked up for another thirty minutes.

Sigh
Okay
Deal with it

It's a nice day.
Not too hot yet.
There's a pleasant breeze.

After a few minutes my shady bench was engulfed in sunshine, so I moved to a bench across the narrow street where I could once again be protected from the sun.

And I waited some more.

I waited the thirty minutes that dispatch told me.
Then I called again.

And I heard those dreaded words...

NO-SHOW

I had been left.
Supposedly the driver had arrived, not found me, and moved on with his or her route.

I was in front of the library, like I am every week day.

I did not see a vehicle.
I did not see a driver in a yellow vest.
I did not receive a call.

I was so irritated.
I had been waiting for more than an hour.
What was going on?

I was never given a clear answer.
Apparently the driver was running late, but when he or she finally arrived, they did not find me, so they left.

A very easy solution would have been TO CALL ME.
Obviously the driver were not in the right place, or I would have seen them, or they would have seen me.

JUST CALL ME.

If you, Capital Metro, refuse to give us the technology where we can track our rides like we can with ride shares, then please CALL when you can't find a client. Because Capital Metro does not call the client when a driver is running late or lost, the client has to call the "Where's My Ride" line and wait for more information. It is an outdated way to find out what is happening. Sometimes the hold time is more than ten minutes. It is a waste of my time, and it is frustrating.

Would it not be reasonable to assume that if I called at 3:00 to ask where my ride was, that I would still be waiting whenever the driver arrived? Okay, I guess there is a possibility that I gave up and ordered a ride share, or asked a friend to pick me up. But I wouldn't do that. I would have called again and said, "I'm not waiting anymore. Just cancel me." The one time I did abandon my ride was when my bus to Houston was leaving in 20 minutes, and the dispatcher left me on hold. I had no choice but to hang up and make a run (brisk walk) for the bus station. But that was a rare occurrence.

Related note: I understand this is my responsibility, but I had no food or drink with me. I don't need sustenance for my afternoon trip if I get home at a reasonable time. Yesterday was not reasonable. I managed to lick the remnants of a melted bite-sized chocolate bar that had been in my jacket pocket. (For clarification, I licked the wrapper. I didn't lick the inside of my jacket pocket. Just in case that part of the story was unclear.) That was all I had with me. I wouldn't call that food, but it was something. 

Because I was no-showed, I got home at 5:15, nearly THREE HOURS after my ride window opened.

UNACCEPTABLE

librarianintx

Survivor Finale: My Thoughts

I can sum up the ending in one word: Meh

The two hour episode and one hour reunion (actually it was a two and a half hour finale and half hour reunion) was quite good - exciting challenges, and Jeff made a concerted effort to talk to nearly everyone during the shorter-than-usual reunion.

As for the final three - that is the meh part for me. Gavin and Julie each won two challenges during the season, and Gavin has the bragging right of never having a vote cast against him this season. But did either one of them belong in the final three? Did they play a better game than the returning players Wentworth, Joe, David, and Aubry?

The consensus among fans is that Devens played the best game of the season, and deserved to win. I definitely agree with the majority. But not everyone feels that way. And as we all know in Survivor, the best player doesn't always win the million dollar prize.

Was Chris a worthy winner? Debatable. I think he was more deserving than Gavin or Julie, but that was only because: #1 He won the final immunity challenge, and #2 He made the very bold move of giving up that immunity so he could face off against Devens in the fire making challenge. It was a very ballsy decision, and in the end it won him the title of sole survivor. But was he truly deserving? Sure, he suffered during his time on the edge of extinction. Everyone there did. But he didn't have to participate in challenges. He still had to play a social game, but it was different. He didn't have to blindside anyone or work with an alliance to make big moves. When he got back into the game, he was given an immunity idol that kept him safe so he could get to top 4. If he wasn't given that idol, he could have been voted out.

So the outcome wasn't to my liking, but I still enjoyed the season. There was a lot of heart and emotion in this season as well as grit and determination. Even though she had her annoying moments, I was especially impressed by Wendy. I will remember how she had the added difficulty of her Tourette's flaring up as she tried valiantly to get back into the game during the first edge of extinction challenge. She made the choice to quit after that challenge, but I don't fault her for that. Yes, she came very close to getting back in, but I think she realized her chances were slim against stronger players. I was also impressed by Aurora. She struggled during the season to find alliances, but she never stopped fighting. 

I am disappointed that Devens didn't win, but so happy that he won $100,000 from Sia, and earned mad respect from the legions of devoted Survivor fans.

And HOW COOL that David and Cochran, two of my all-time favorite players,  are both writing for Star Trek!! Love it!!

No matter the outcome of a particular season, I still enjoy the show.

librarianintx

Game of Thrones - The Penultimate Episode - My Thoughts

Obligatory warning: SPOILERS AHEAD! Do NOT read if you have not watched the episode. 

I am not a Game of Thrones superfan.
I have not read the books.
I don't visit the fan sites.
So one could say I'm not qualified to write about the show.
But everyone is entitled to their thoughts and their feelings, and to express them.
So here goes.
I found the penultimate episode quite disappointing, for two main reasons.

#1 Daenerys becomes the mad queen.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
This season has been leading up to this.
But to see such a strong female character that so many fans loved and celebrated, believed in and rooted for, to see her slaughter an innocent population, including women and children, when she didn't have to - this just mystifies me. Why would the producers ruin one of the most important characters? Sure, some of it was satisfying and triumphant - Dani and her dragon taking out Euron (or so we thought) and the Red Keep, but to keep killing even when Cersei's army surrendered and the bells tolled - why? What was the point? To show that the loss of her second dragon and Missandei plus Jon and Tyrion's betrayal had rendered her mad with rage and grief? Doesn't this send a terrible message that women are too emotional and can't be effective leaders? I just don't get it, and I feel cheated, that the Daenerys we thought we knew is gone, and it is so difficult to celebrate her victory.

#2 Cersei's death (apparently)
One of the biggest speculations of the season would be who would kill Cersei, and how? There were several suspects - Jaime, Tyrion, Arya, Daenerys, the Hound, even Sansa and Brienne. It was Daenerys, if Cersei is actually dead, but it wasn't the face to face, satisfying demise we were waiting for, or maybe it was for some fans. Maybe Cersei and Jaime getting crushed as they were locked in an embrace was the conclusion people hoped for. Not me. I am not a fan of the violence of the show, but I have to admit I was waiting for her to be decapitated by Arya or strangled by Tyrion, or something like that. I even had a vision of Jaime shoving her out the tower, a la Bran. I wanted to see a single person wipe that perpetual smirk off her face. I most wanted it to be Tyrion. In a way, it made sense for the sibling lovers to die together. But I still think the fans were cheated - again.

The viewers were treated to two epic battles - the Hound vs the Mountain, and Euron vs Jaime. And we can be comforted by the fact that some of our favorite characters have survived, at least for now - Jon, Tyrion, Grey Worm, Arya, Sansa, Brienne, Sam, and Gilly. But within the celebration there are tinges of sadness and disappointment: Brienne the Gallant Knight became a sniveling, annoying cliche after sleeping with Jaime, and Grey Worm lost our respect when he continued the battle after Cersei's army laid down their swords.

I am very nervous for the final episode. I think there is a good chance that Daenerys will kill Tyrion - and that will absolutely devastate me. Yes, he betrayed her, but he was trying to avert carnage of innocent people - and he was trying to save his brother, the one person who was truly good to him.

What will happen in the final episode? Will everyone turn against Daenerys? Will Jon, the rightful heir, become the reluctant ruler of the Iron Throne? 

Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of fans who are so frustrated that they just don't care anymore. Perhaps Game of Thrones, the beloved and celebrated series, will go the way of Lost, St Elsewhere, and Battlestar Galactica by presenting finales that perplex, anger, and disappoint their legions of devoted fans.

Sigh.

librarianintx

Another Great Quote

"Don't be ashamed of your story. Use it to inspire and teach others." Anonymous

I honestly think this is the key to our existence. I'm not exaggerating. I believe we are on this earth to learn and grow and help others in the process. As we begin to deal with out issues, achieve success and suffer failure, we educate the people we come into contact with. Some people don't like the word "inspiration," but I think we all have the power to inspire each other. Certain individuals learn this valuable lesson earlier than others. But I think most of us get there eventually.

We can all learn from each other, if we listen and have an open mind.

Sharing our achievements and our disappointments with others can be tough. Many of us fear both success and failure, and it can be a challenge to trust others with such personal stories. But taking that leap of faith is important. Because while some people may not understand or be skeptical or not approve, many more will be impressed and possibly even inspired to follow in your path.

Everyone has the capacity to be an example, a trendsetter, someone to admire and hold in high regard.

Be brave.
Be bold.
Take a chance.
It could be you.

librarianintx