And this one (I couldn't copy and paste the image):
"The size of fear that stops you is going to determine the size of life you have."
Both quotes are so so true, especially for me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm tired even when I'm busy and enjoying my life, but it's a different kind of tired. It's a productive tired, a fulfilling tired, a tired that comes with being involved in meaningful activities that give you purpose in life. It's a different kind of tired than just going through the motions of an ordinary day and not doing what you enjoy and what is important to you. When I was too sick to do anything more than dragging myself to work and dragging myself home, the exhaustion was so acute and so depressive. I felt like I had no life. Even though I like my job, I was so tired and ill that my job didn't have as much meaning as it does now. I was just going through the motions.
I want to be doing even more now that I'm feeling better, but I constantly seek to have balance in my life. Keep busy, but not too busy. Have a social life, but make sure I still have the energy for my #1 priority: work. Engage in cultural, political, education activities when I can. Get enough rest, eat well, try to exercise. Keeping my anxiety in check as much as possible affords me added energy to do more with my life.
My goal in life is to crawl into bed every night feeling like I made good use of my existence. I was productive, I did good work, I fed my soul. I accomplished.
I know that fear holds me back in many ways, and my life is smaller because of those fears. I work on my fears and anxieties every day. Sometimes it's one step forward and one step back. But I keep trying. My physical and emotional issues related to public speaking are an area I very much want to work on and improve. My desires to be an advocate and leader in the disability community are thwarted by my fear and avoidance of public speaking.
Life is a process.
Every day.
librarianintx
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