Balance

I feel like I'm going to search for it forever...work toward it and never completely achieve it.

I'm doing more than I've ever done before to achieve health. I have a big problem with procrasination, and rarely do everything that I'm supposed to in a day. Part of the problem, of course, is that I have too many things I need to do for health, and not enough energy and time in the day to get it all done. Breathing exercises, physical exercising, eating right, taking meds, routine hair, skin, and tooth care, etc. Plus keeping my environment and equipment clean...

Although I'm doing quite a bit in the physical health realm, I'm not faring as well in the emotional health area. All the orange juice, broccoli, cantaloupe, fish, and low fat milk are great, but the improved diet is counteracted by stress, frustration, the ongoing saga of my complicated interpersonal relationships. Every day I'm trying to balance the desire to engage in activities I enjoy with the responsibility of making myself available to the people in my life who need me. My body is almost constantly on a hair-trigger, waiting for some disaster to strike, big or small. I want to fix everyone's life, including my own.

I am not powerLESS to change this. I am powerFUL. But a part of me refuses to alter the status quo. It is that part that gets the pay-off, that feels a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, the satisfaction that the mind and the body has done as much as they possibly could to keep everyone and everything, including myself, as happy and running as smoothly as possible. That part, however, doesn't feel what the rest of me feels...frustrated, overwhelmed, lacking, never enough. Not every day, luckily, but too often.

Balance is the constant brass ring.
librarianintx